Humor Funny

Plans are meant to be trashed. I pride myself on being in command of my life. Maybe it’s become slightly control freak-level, but I prefer predictability. So, when an unfortunate photo surfaces of me with Tad Fisher, the music industry’s favorite bad boy, it screws up my carefully calculated plans. I am not Tad’s girlfriend and the only thing crazier would be pretending that I am. Sometimes, drastic measures have to be taken to restore order. What does Tad get out of all of it? I’m the key to repairing his image. Dating a good girl might help sales of his sappy love songs, but not ...

Pure Unadulterated Fun! George Franklin takes a humorous look at the world of economic development with politicians, corporations and a cast of rogue characters all wallowing in the government trough in the name of capitalism and free enterprise. Incentives is a wickedly funny book filled with laugh out loud moments. It is an uproarious, entertaining, comical story of the hypocrisy which permeates public policy today. Nothing is sacred and everybody and everything is fair game! Blessed Be Crony Capitalism! Incentives involves a collision of public policy and political greed carried out by ...

A Little Book of Funny Poems is a lighthearted collection of forty-one poems written for modern life. From tablet trouble to texting, online dating to airport security, abusive coaching to bratty kids, work life to leisure activities, this book has a funny and thoughtful piece for everyone.

Hello! I’m Brian Limond, aka Limmy. You might know me from Limmy’s Show. Or you might not know me at all. Don’t worry if you don’t. They asked me to write a book about mental health, because I sometimes talk about my mental health in tweets and interviews, like suicidal thoughts and anxiety, and what I’ve done to try to deal with it. I said to them, oh, I don’t know if I could fill a whole book with just that. But how’s about I write a general autobiography type of thing, and all the mental health stuff will naturally appear along the way?

A DARING ADVENTURE. A DANGEROUS CREW. A BOY WHO REFUSES TO GIVE UP. Twelve-year-old Elliott loves spending summer nights on his father’s fishing boat—until the night pirates steal it, not realizing he’s on board. Trapped at sea with a ruthless crew, he must use courage, quick thinking, and his faith in God to survive. When he overhears their plans to raid a defenseless town, Elliott knows he has to stop them. But what can one boy do against a ship full of pirates? As he works to sabotage their schemes, he also discovers that their hardened captain, Rigg, carries a burden of his own. ...

The Avery Diary: The Lice Outbreak! Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12 When a lice outbreak takes over Avery’s school, things go from bad to downright hilarious. With chaos in the cafeteria, dramatic “lice patrols,” and a queen bee spreading rumors (and maybe bugs), Avery finds herself in the middle of it all. Will she blow the whistle on the mean girl’s not-so-secret scratching? Or can she save the day with her brilliant plan for Anti-Itch Week? From DIY lice detectives (featuring colanders and mayonnaise) to school dances where “scratching moves” steal the show, Avery’s journey is...

When cupcake-loving croupier Tiffany Black is asked to investigate a suspicious book club member, she never expects her client to disappear under mysterious circumstances. But when Violeta Redgrave goes missing, Tiffany and Ian find themselves trying to uncover just what happened to her, and why she hired them in the first place… Meanwhile, Tiffany is house-sitting for her friend Jack Weber, and she and Ian find themselves entangled with an unusual secret society. Praise for A.R. Winters: "Fans of Stephanie Plum, meet Tiffany Black, A.R. Winters's new heroine." - Rea, Amazon.com "You fall...

Gloriana XII--The Original Wolf of Wall Street. In this hilarious sequel to The Mouse That Roared, Grand Fenwick is at it again, this time upsetting the world's economy. The tiny country's secret weapon this time is its Grand Pinot chewing gum. When sales boom during an anti-smoking campaign, Grand Fenwick's investment is suddenly worth millions. In an attempt to rid Grand Fenwick of its crippling budget surplus, Duchess Gloriana XII decides the stock market is the perfect place to lose it all. Instead, she makes millions more and ends up wreaking havoc on the world economy. Never has "the ...

Trenton, New Jersey, bounty hunter Stephanie Plum has inherited a "lucky" bottle from her Uncle Pip. Problem is, Uncle Pip didn't specify if the bottle brought good luck or bad luck.

Blind dates can be the romantic equivalent of a nice stroll toward an open manhole... blindfolded. With no romantic prospects in sight, Annika rethinks her dating strategy, ready to chance a few manholes. After all, who knows how God could bring Mr. Right into her life? Her interfering family and friends are itching to play matchmaker, but their choices will have Annika asking, “Where did they dig up these guys?” When sinister gifts appear, her harmless dating scheme becomes a dangerous game. How can she meet Mr. Right, when Mr. Wrong has her in his sights?

A thrilling collection of the first eight Samantha Moon short stories, including: Teeth - What happens when a child is born with a rare throwback gene, a gene that produces two exceptionally long teeth? Vampire Nights - Samantha Moon meets someone unexpected on a late night trip to Denny's, someone who seems to know all her secrets and has all the answers. Vampire Blues - Samantha Moon discovers that even a routine case can offer a few surprises―and that not all men are created equal. Vampire Dreams - Samantha Moon sets out to find the answer to a mysterious, haunting dream...a dream in ...

The stories in this work include parodies of long-standing genres and original tales of irreverent occurrence. Each story involves humor that neither conforms to political correctness or social standards of good taste. These stories are not for the weak-hearted. These stories are for adults and include profanity, violence, sex, degenerate behavior, and spectacular drama and action. You may even find a moral or two thrown in somewhere amongst them. If you do, it was completely accidental. Found in this esteemed collection are these gems: Lust For Luscious Sherlock Jerkweed and the Case of ...

Texas Tall Tales and Just Flat Out Lies. Now everybody knows that Texas is a big place and Texans are proud of that fact. Everything in Texas is big, at least that’s the way a Texan thinks of it. So by their very nature they are prone to exaggerate, just a little bit. Well, maybe a lot! So for your entertainment you’re going to read a few of those Texas Tall Tales. Now to be truthful you never really know if they’re true or not, but you’ll have to decide that for yourself.

As far back as he can remember James Corden has only ever wanted to be in one place: in front of you, doing something to make you laugh, cry, shout, or giggle uncontrollably. At the age of 4, he grandstanded throughout his baby sister’s christening, standing on a chair in front of the whole congregation, pulling faces and cracking everyone up. Despite himself, the vicar was impressed. And from then on he couldn’t get enough of the spotlight, even when it always seemed to avoid him. Throughout his teens, he and his Dad trudged up and down towards London....

IT'S THE SCOOP OF A LIFETIME, AND MIGHT JUST SAVE HIS CAREER ... IF THEY DON'T KILL HIM FIRST Portsmouth. England. The 1990s. Meet Llew Sabler, a ferociously ambitious newspaper reporter who'll stop at nothing to reach the top. 'You're meant to write the news, not be the news,' blasts his long-suffering editor, after Llew's latest madcap stunt sparks public outrage. There is only one thing Llew lusts after more than success: his fellow reporter and close friend, the bewitchingly violent Thirza Kirkby. When his oldest pal - serial virgin Emdel Black - steals Thirza's heart, lovesick Llew ...

Isabella joins a coven... But there are no witches in it. When Isabella's friend Emma changes her religion, Isabella is happy she's found something she can believe in. Until she learns Emma thinks she's a witch. Magic doesn't work that way and now she's worried her friend is being taken advantage of. Isabella is desperate to find out who is killing members of the coven - desperate enough to hunt him down on her own. What will it take for her to capture a witch older and stronger than her, and is she willing to pay that price? *** For fans of Amanda M. Lee, Annabel Chase, and Leighann Dobbs,...

The Boomer Crew's biggest gamble yet! The lads go to Monaco to make their fortune in the casinos; what’s the worst that could happen? Well, Blakey’s car might get trashed, Finley might lose all his money, Geoff and Daisy might break up and Johnny might not make it back to Blighty. Will their wildest gamble yet pay off – or leave them broke and broken? Double Up or Quit is the third laugh-out-loud installment in Peter Seddon’s cozy crime series, packed with his signature wit and the misadventures of the Boomer Crew – Britain’s unlikeliest criminals. Perfect for fans of The ...

Check your sensibilities at the door and enter a world of side-splitting humor from the master of raunchy jokes! If you enjoyed the first volume of Jokes against Humanity, wait till you read Vol 2! This is real, no-holds-barred, adult humor at its finest! The jokes are not for everyone, especially if you offend easily, but I do hope the rest of you can check your sensibilities long enough to enjoy the wit and humor of these jokes and LOL with me!

"Gassy Ghouls: Zombie Farts and the Smelly Undead (Whiffy Wonders Tootin' Tales Book 2)" 30 Hilarious Zombie Stories That'll Have You Dying of Laughter! Get ready for a spooktacular adventure in the second book of the "Whiffy Wonders Tootin' Tales" series! What's Inside: - 30 side-splitting zombie stories - Full-color illustrations on every page - Silly characters and ridiculous plots - Sneaky reading lessons hidden in the hilarity Meet Zombino the Farty Reading Teacher and a cast of gassy ghouls in stories like: - "The Haunted House of Fearful Farts" - "Zombie Pool Party: The Big Splash ...

PG-Rated Version (The original, unedited version is also available.) "Go Out and Play and Don't Come Home until it's Dark." Growing up in the 70's wasn't easy. No internet or smartphones, video games or HDTV -- nothing but time to kill and the endless potential of a summer day. Only parental threats and a newly-developed sense of right and wrong could steer Johnny Virgil and his two younger brothers away from trouble...or directly into it. Join Johnny on this hilarious and irreverent romp through his childhood as he recounts the stories that made him what he is today - an unimportant cog in...