Humor Funny

Almost one year ago, Alice TodHunter Moon left her PathFinder village to become Apprentice to ExtraOrdinary Wizard Septimus Heap. Now, in faraway lands, the Castle is in peril. The brilliant blue stone is crumbling to dust, and both the witch Marisa and the wicked Red Queen have their eyes on the throne. But as Tod sets off on a hazardous journey to find a new Keystone, her life may be in the greatest danger of all. Can she save the Castle while evading the fate that befell her mother?

What can you do when an enemy claims sanctuary in your home? Hester Johnson is no one's favorite person, but when she arrives at Proctor House begging to be hidden, the Proctor family takes her in. When something spooks Hester, she runs away - straight into her killer. Is it coincidence she's left on Isabella's door? The danger has never been greater for Detective Palmer and Isabella needs to protect him, find the murderer, and keep her family's secrets. For fans of Samantha Silver, Amanda M. Lee, and Leighann Dobbs, On a Larkspur is a clever, fast-paced cozy mystery that will keep you ...

When Mercy Watson the pig goes missing, all of Deckawoo Drive is in an uproar. The Watsons are inconsolable, and the local police, fire, and animal control departments are no help whatsoever. Bossy neighbor Eugenia Lincoln is not quite as sad as she might be, but thankfully her sister, Baby Lincoln, has the idea to hire a private investigator. Granted, Percival Smidgely, PI, may be more bumbler than gumshoe, but his pigeon, Polly, is there to point the way.

The problem with books on how to raise kids is that all those other authors have PhDs, MDs, or kids. Luckily this author has none of those limiting factors. Instead, you get hilarious advice based on observations and assumptions with zero evidence. It’s advice that will help you be the best parent you can be whether you have a real job, a fancy job, or a trust fund. Learn the secrets to: Picking a Favorite Winning Kindergarten How to Hide from the Kids Sharing Aggressive Driving for Teens ...and much more terrible advice

When the Hedral Watcher was in need of a warrior to defeat an all-powerful warlock, he knew that Thane - a lethal intergalactic mercenary - was just the man for the job. Unfortunately, he ended up with an amiable drunk, an inept wizard with an inferiority complex, and a blonde Amazon squeezed into a tiny squirrel-skin bikini. As the omniscient being of the planet, the Watcher had a funny feeling that it would all end in tragedy, unless Thane was able to vanquish the Warlock before his woefully inadequate substitutes stumbled upon his adversary's mountain fortress. But the band of fearless ...

Do you want to join the ranks of the Intergalactic Diplomatic Corp. but don't know what to do? This book is for you. Learn all the tips and tricks for dealing with aliens across the universe. Start your new career now in the intergalactic diplomatic corp.

Sarah was just trying to stop her dungeon from collapsing. Now she’s rewriting reality. What began as a bureaucratic headache has exploded into metaphysical mayhem. As a hybrid dungeon core with a snark problem and too much cosmic power, Sarah is evolving into something no one—kingdoms, liches, or the laws of magic—can define. The magical Compact is cracking. Archives are collapsing. And the Lich Lord Kravix? He’s one ritual away from turning the world into his ascension playground. Armed with a crumbling dungeon, glitchy golden glyphs, and a desperate need for five minutes of peace...

This time Stephanie, Morelli, Ranger. Lula, Valerie, and Grandma Mazur are strapped in for the ride of their lives. Stephanie is hired to find a missing child. But things aren't always as they seem and Stephanie must determine if she's working for the right side of the law. Plus, there's the Morelli question: can a Jersey girl keep her head on straight when more than just bullets are aimed for her heart? And with the Plum and Morelli relationship looking rocky, is it time for Ranger to move in for the kill? Janet Evanovich's latest thriller proves that Hard Eight will never be enough.

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where today's special is murder! The quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City is preparing for Chili-Con, a wacky food festival all about chili, and Dani O'Shea is getting ready to serve festival-goers the Breezy Spoon Diner's delicious formula of great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality. But when a prominent businessman from California comes to town and barges into the Breezy Spoon wanting to fight Jimmy the busboy, only to disappear without a trace the next day, the mystery heats up faster than a bowl of 5-alarm chili! When murder gets...

Welcome to the Seaside Bed & Breakfast, where getting a room can be murder!When school teacher Teri McAfee loses her job and gets dumped by her fiancee all at once, her Aunt Sam's invitation to stay at her beautiful seaside bed & breakfast on quirky little Admiral Archibald Falls Island off Florida for a couple of weeks sounds like the perfect opportunity to leave her troubles behind! But relaxing is out of the questions when a famously eccentric author and his annoying entourage descend on the B&B and throw it into chaos! And while the live guests are troublesome, when one of them turns up...

Jews have a centuries-old tradition of telling jokes, from the ghettos of Europe to Hollywood and the Catskills. Jewish jokes are entertainment, the oral history of a culture, insightful social criticism, and survival tactic rolled into one. In 2008, Hollywood director and producer Sam Hoffman launched a website called Old Jews Telling Jokes. It’s just what it says: Jewish men and women over 60 sharing their favorite stories, tales, riddles, and punchlines.

Do you want to help your players become better people? Do you want to become an RPG Life Coach? Do you want to level up in the game and in life? Then this book is for you. For the enlightened DM. A humorous journey to a better life for your players.

Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.

When a high-roller requests Tiffany Black as his “lucky” dealer, she doesn't expect the tides of fortune to turn so quickly. She doesn't expect to be asked to leave the high-roller suites almost immediately. Nor does she expect the wealthy casino client to end up murdered. Unfortunately, that's exactly what does happen. Asked to investigate the client’s death by his son, Tiffany discovers that the man had an unpleasant way of doing business: the list of suspects spans the decades, and includes her friend Jack, who’s acting very strangely. Meanwhile “Stoney” shows up with a ...

A Jersey comedy with a little romance! Atlantic City social worker, Lucy Womzak, had always been able to find the good in people, to make the best out of bad situations, and to cook her way out of stress. So when her husband, Lester, leaves her for a slightly younger (but much skinnier) woman, she's sure she has the skill set to handle it and re-create a happy home for her and her sixteen-year-old twins. After all, she still has the ability to make a decent meatloaf. But positive thinking and a degree in therapy can only go so far. When Lucy discovers Les led a secret life as a mafia-...

What’s a witch to do when nobody will hire her? Open her own business, selling enchanted items to a town filled with mortals who are clearly prejudice against witches. But when the entire second grade class sprouts fluffy tails, the town is quick to blame Ettie and her new business. Was the tail epidemic Ettie's fault? Or is there a different kind of magic hiding in Watersedge? Read “The Mail-Order Witch, Episode 1” to find out. This series contains a prequel plus three stories: • The Mail-Order Witch, Pilot Episode • The Mail-Order Witch, Episode 1 • The Mail-Order Witch, ...

Nikki has to hide seven ADORKABLE puppies from two parents, one nosy little sister, an entire middle school, and...one mean girl out for revenge, Mackenzie Hollister. If anyone can do it, it's Nikki...but not without some hilarious challenges along the way!

30 seconds. It’s the highlight of my pathetic days. The 30 seconds when I ring her up at the cash register. For some reason, the way she holds out her coupons stirs something inside me. With a big body like this, women only like me for my money. But she’d never like me - she thinks I’m poor. -Lloyd I need money. I need a job. I most definitely DON’T need to romantically entangle myself with that big cashier at the grocery store, even if he is just my type: Lumberjack hefty. When he gets me a job though, part of me wonders if I’ll be able to keep my hands off of him, even though ...

El tío Manuel pensaba que los días silenciosos eran los mejores, Se relajaba en casa con un libro y tenía descansos mayores. Las fiestas ruidosas no eran del agrado del tío Manuel, En su cumpleaños su familia lo sorprendía con un pastel.

Alan Zweibel started his comedy career selling jokes for seven dollars apiece to the last of the Borscht Belt standups. Then one night, despite bombing on stage, he caught the attention of Lorne Michaels and became one of the first writers at Saturday Night Live, where he penned classic material for Gilda Radner, John Belushi, and all of the original Not Ready for Prime Time Players. From SNL, he went on to have a hand in a series of landmark shows - from It’s Garry Shandling’s Show to Curb Your Enthusiasm.