Humor Funny

The agents of Sapphic Security are about to take on their most difficult challenge yet – kindergarten! Lucy As a teacher, I’m a mandatory reporter so when I saw the bruises on one of my students, I immediately called Child Protective Services. Now the student and his mother are in hiding and there’s an angry crime boss who blames me for him losing his family. When my CEO father insists on hiring me a bodyguard, they send the most stunning woman that I’ve ever seen. Too bad she’s so grumpy and serious. Bella Yeah, that’s right, I’m a vampire named Bella. Cue the movie jokes. As...

St. Peter stood at the Pearly Gates, waiting for the incoming, and he needed to use the restroom. He saw Jesus walking by and caught his attention. "Jesus, could you mind the gate while I go take a leak?" "Sure," replied Jesus. "What do I have to do?" "Just find out about the people who arrive. Ask about their background, their family, and their lives. Then decide if they deserve entry into Heaven." "Sounds easy enough," Jesus shrugged. So Jesus waited at the gates while St. Peter went off on his errand. The first person to approach the gates was a wrinkled old man. Jesus summoned him to a ...

You’ve spent enough time doubting your worth—now it’s time to take it back. This powerful 2-books-in-1 compilation includes everything you need to stop second-guessing yourself and start showing up with confidence, clarity, and compassion. Inside, you’ll get two complete self-help books plus exclusive access to: ✨ The 7-Day Self-Love Reset ✨ The 3-Day Body Peace Reset If you’re exhausted from chasing perfection or trying to prove you’re enough—this is your invitation to stop performing and start healing. ✦ Book 1: Self-Love A bold, witty, and emotionally honest guide to ...

I just want to be naughty for one night of my life. I think I’d be really good at it... I need to escape. I’m a bad girl trapped in a good girl’s body. Perfect grades, star volleyball player, lead in the drama club. I know it’ll lead to a great career. But I need more. Just one night. In Ireland. On St. Patrick’s Day. Thousands of miles away from anyone who knows me. That’s how I met Dare Mackenzie. With fire in his emerald eyes, sinful promises on his lips. And an accent as intoxicating as the darkest stout. He keeps saying I’m too sweet, too innocent, too good. I dare you, ...

Sticking their noses where they are most definitely not wanted. Despairing of their humans, these pets take it upon themselves to solve the cases they see as only cats and dogs can. Whether they sniff out the clues or fool the criminals into thinking they are harmless pets to be ignored, Rex, Amber, Buster, and more enjoy escapades a plenty in this fun collection of short stories. Grab your copy and be ready for the fur to fly! Includes: Police Dog - Day One Amber's Bust The Little Lost Dachshund Hell Cat Hell Hounds The Clown, the Witch, and the Cat The Case of the Missing Pasty

This fun paranormal cozy mystery collection contains all three novella episodes in the Mail-Order Witch series. "A Little Romantic Charmer." -- Kindle Reviewer The town's children are turning into foxes. And the magic shop is infested with hamsters. But that’s just a normal day at Ettie’s Enchanted Effects. When Ettie agreed to be a mail-order witch and move to Watersedge, she dreamt of a loving husband, a supportive family, and a cute town. Instead, she got a secretive father-in-law and a city who clearly doesn’t want witches in their community. Luckily, she did get that loving ...

Nikki Maxwell develops a sudden interest in student journalism that may or may not (okay, definitely does) have to do with the fact that mean girl Mackenzie has started writing a gossip column. And there just might be some info involving Nikki’s crush, Brandon, that Nikki doesn’t want Mackenzie reporting to the world. So Nikki joins the school newspaper staff - and ends up as an advice columnist! It’s fun at first, answering other kids’ letters. But when Miss Know-It-All’s inbox is overflowing, Nikki feels in need of some help herself.

Sinister secrets hidden by the tranquil waters of an Ozarks lake. Can married amateur sleuths bait and capture a killer before the truth slips away? Kirkus Reviews—“A fine whodunit featuring a delightful cast whom readers will love—or love to hate.” After newlyweds Elizabeth and Jonas Trout arrive to settle her grandmother's estate, they quickly find themselves embroiled in a treacherous mystery when Elizabeth is implicated in the murder of the property manager. With mounting evidence and the Southern small-town sheriff convinced of her guilt, Elizabeth and Jonas must fish for clues...

Ten years ago, Lang chose his family, his lineage and his bloodline over his heart. Not a day has gone by since that he hasn’t regretted it. Now it’s time to put the past in the past and claim his mate. This time, Lang will let nothing get in his way. A decade ago, Muddy watched, horrified, as the man who stole her virginity and her heart chose another woman. Now, he thinks he can come waltzing back into her life? No effin’ way. NOTE: In the late 1800s, on a homestead in New Mexico, Helen Cartwright was widowed under mysterious circumstances. Knowing there was power in the feminine ...

Ready to laugh until your cheeks hurt—again? Funny Stories for Seniors 2 brings back the wit, warmth, and wildly amusing tales that made the first book a hit, with brand-new stories that are even more outrageous, endearing, and hilariously relatable. From awkward family gatherings to travel disasters, classic senior moments to unexpected mischief, this second volume proves once and for all: life only gets funnier with age.

You know those people who always seem calm, organized, and emotionally stable? Yeah. This book is not about them. Welcome to the unfiltered confessions of someone who has spent a lifetime pretending to be normal—and failing spectacularly. From turning therapy into stand-up comedy, to surviving public meltdowns in Costco, to attempting yoga while emotionally unwell and allergic to spandex, this is your backstage pass to one person’s absurd journey through modern life. Equal parts chaos and charm, this book doesn’t teach you how to fix your life. It just lets you laugh so hard you ...

Introduction: From the Desk of Mr. Dill Pickles (Your Resident Feline Genius) Congratulations, human. You've done something right once in your life! You're holding the definitive guide to life, courtesy of me, Mr. Dill Pickles. Yes, that Mr. Dill Pickles. Feline extraordinaire. Wisdom dispenser. Nap enthusiast. Tuna connoisseur. And now, apparently, author. You might be wondering, “What qualifies a cat to give life advice?” First of all, rude. Second, have you seen your species lately? You're overworked, under-rested, glued to glowing rectangles, and you willingly eat kale. Clearly, ...

Mike Cyra takes us on another hilarious grand tour of the strange medical humor in the real-life world of emergency medicine and surgery. Whether he's assisting trauma surgeons who are singing “Take me out to the ballgame” while removing a well-placed iconic symbol of America’s greatest past time, learning how fast he can run after being shot at by an angry couple who called for an ambulance, working with a prankster-loving urologist who demonstrates how bladder problems were diagnosed before modern urinalysis, or screaming like a little girl while doing night rounds with a dead ...

★★★★★ "Oddly genius!" - Amazon Vine Review ___ Original and unique tongue twisters created for warming up the mouth muscles, just plain fun and overall ease of speaking. Note: This book will actually show how to use these tongue twisters in a game setting also. Parties and social gatherings are just a few of the perfect opportunities for testing your skills. So go challenge your family and friends to see who can be the first to say these fabulous tongue twisters the fastest without getting flustered! Tongue twister books aren't always created equal. For many of them, they often ...

When cupcake-loving croupier Tiffany Black is asked to investigate a suspicious book club member, she never expects her client to disappear under mysterious circumstances. But when Violeta Redgrave goes missing, Tiffany and Ian find themselves trying to uncover just what happened to her, and why she hired them in the first place… Meanwhile, Tiffany is house-sitting for her friend Jack Weber, and she and Ian find themselves entangled with an unusual secret society. Praise for A.R. Winters: "Fans of Stephanie Plum, meet Tiffany Black, A.R. Winters's new heroine." - Rea, Amazon.com "You fall...

From NY Times and USA Today Bestselling author Josie Litton, writing as J.K. Litton, a wickedly funny cozy romantic mystery for the holidays The charming Westchester County village of Mulberry Falls is ringing in the New Year in style. On the village green, revelers are counting down the seconds to midnight. But when the pop of champagne corks is interrupted by gunshots, the fun goes flat. It’s up to local sleuth Verity Valence and her former high school boyfriend, Detective Ethan Lowell to cut through the confetti and catch a killer. Either that or risk Mulberry Falls’ new year ...

Anything that lives devours or is devoured itself. The fractured factions seek strength in the face of rising global instability while the gluttonous Chaos Dungeon begins its conquest of the Elemental Battlefield. With a veritable buffet of advancement for the taking, Ace strives to hit Platinum before a mysterious threat reaches his Core. Witness the struggles of those left standing after the jaws of death snap shut in Chaos Devouring.

Do you find yourself constantly worrying about what others think of you? Are you tired of feeling anxious, stressed, and insecure because you care too much about other people's opinions? If so, 30 Days to Stop Giving a Shit is the mindfulness program you need to break free from the cycle of self-doubt and reclaim your sense of self. This comprehensive workbook contains 30 unique mindfulness exercises, each accompanied by a corresponding hashtag that allows you to connect with others and share your insights online. Through targeted exercises, journal prompts, and affirmations, you'll learn ...

Welcome to the warm, wild savanna—home to towering elephants, cheeky monkeys, and one remarkably determined dung beetle named Donald J. Dungbuster. With a heart as big as his favorite poop ball and a family that rolls right along beside him, Donald shows us that life, love, and legacy can all be built on even the messiest of foundations. From monsoon floods to beetle bake-offs, elephant encounters to poop-powered parades, this is a story of resilience, laughter, and one quirky beetle’s quest to feed his family, win big, and always roll with purpose. Perfect for young readers with ...

These three steamy stories are guaranteed to keep you up at night. All three romances feature strong, alpha, and billionaire heroes who are completely wrong for their women. But the heart wants what it wants, and these men will stop at nothing until they’ve proven themselves worthy. Book 1: Mr. Big Shot My friends dared me to ask him out. Biggest mistake ever. Turns out, Mr. Big Shot wasn’t just a random guy I met at a bar. He was about to become my billionaire boss. And what happened at the bar that night… was about to come back to haunt me. Book 2: Mr. Big Mistake My plan was to get...