Humor Funny

She must protect the apocalypse scroll, or else the world will come to a fiery end. No pressure or anything.Crystal sorceress Dru Jasper has become the unwilling guardian of an ancient instrument of destruction. Its world-ending power is held in check by only a single wax seal. Which seems like maybe a huge design flaw, but whatever. Now insidious spirits who can kill by touch are trying to get their clutches on the apocalypse scroll and break the final seal. To stop them, Dru needs a rare crystal older than the Earth itself. But it’s hidden in a meteorite crater deep in the desert, and ...

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

All it takes is a few underhanded moves by a tough ex-cop named Eppick to pull thief John Dortmunder into a game he never wanted to play. With no choice, he sets out on a perilous treasure hunt for a long-lost gold and jewel-studded chess set once intended as a birthday gift for the last Romanov czar. Success is not inevitable with Dortmunder leading the attack, but he's nothing if not persistent, and some gambit or other might just stumble into a winning move.

I was in the U.S. Air Force from mid-1958 until mid-1962. These little stories are about a few capers and characters I encountered along the way. Suffice it to say that my buddies and I got into some comical situations. I even found some humor in the pain and heartbreak inflicted on me by the sergeants. Except for some amount of exaggeration as to my brilliance, the stories are true.

USA Today Bestseller Melinda Curtis delivers another installment of Summer Kisses, an irresistibly funny, reunion, sweet romantic comedy about the Summer family, featuring Grandma Dotty. Only this time, it’s Grandma Dotty’s grandsons who find romance. A chance meeting… Four years ago, Nora and Chad were strangers. Each fleeing family drama, they met on a remote beach in the Hamptons, shared a drink, their frustrations, and their dreams. A silent goodbye… Without exchanging contact information, Nora slipped away, convinced that Chad wouldn’t see her the same in the light of day. ...

When your arch-nemesis dies and she still won't leave you alone. It's safe to say, Joyce and I don't get along. She's two-faced, for a start. So when she does me a solid and takes a drunken tumble and dies, I can finally forget all about her. Not that I wanted her dead. But peace isn’t on the cards for long because Joyce isn’t really gone. For reasons known only to the twisted universe, she’s come back to haunt me. Now, I can’t get a moment’s peace—not even in the bathroom—because this needy, ghostly, zombie version of Joyce follows me everywhere. And to make matters worse, ...

She’s all business. He’s all charm. It's just one little kiss. What's the harm? Dr. Katherine Drake has zero patience for fantasy. Her world is built on logic, hard work, and a schedule that doesn’t include fairy tales. So how does she end up at a comic convention, surrounded by caped crusaders, space wizards, and—oh no—grown men in pony costumes? Alexander Weber may be Hollywood royalty, but he’s tired of red carpets, fake smiles, and love that only lasts until the tabloids move on. When he crosses paths with a woman who isn’t impressed by his fame, he’s instantly intrigued...

DO YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE CATS?? -- Did you know they played a huge role in British history? Like to know more...? This funny, informative book has tons of fun stories and fascinating trivia that cat lovers can't get enough of... It tells you EVERYTHING you might like to know about how cats shaped British history and culture... DID YOU KNOW? -- Winston Churchill sneaked his cats smoked salmon under the table at state dinners? -- Margaret Thatcher bought her cat sardines in Moscow – during the Cold War? -- The Queen loved to draw cats as a child, but her allergies make her avoid them now? -- ...

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

First in the brand new "Misty Hollow" Paranormal Women’s Fiction series from #1 Amazon bestseller J.R. Rain and New York Times bestseller H.P. Mallory! My name is Marina Estuary, and I’m a mermaid. Actually, I’m a lot more than a mermaid—I’m a siren, but I have to keep that little tidbit on the down-low. Why? Because anyone who hears the song of the siren will either lose their mind or become desperately in love with me. That’s usually a buzzkill to most people. Anyway, not only am I a siren-in-hiding, but I’m also a private investigator. And I’ve been called to the newest ...

When Tiffany and Ian go to Uncle Joe’s family reunion party, they don’t expect to run into a killer… A Cupcakes-and-Crime Caper But that’s exactly what happens when Uncle Joe’s ex-wife Beryl is found dead! Trapped inside Beryl’s creepy old house by an avalanche, Tiffany and Ian must work quickly to uncover who among the other houseguests is the killer. As Beryl’s unsavory past starts coming to light, Tiffany realizes that quite a few people staying in the house have secrets of their own, and good reason to want Beryl dead. From disgruntled family members to secret lovers, to ...

Paranormal Women’s Fiction from #1 Amazon bestseller, J.R. Rain, and New York Times bestseller, H.P. Mallory! When Lorcan and I fail to dissolve the blood bond yet again (this time quite an embarrassing one), I’m at my wit’s end. The last thing I need is my cantankerous cat delivering a wax-sealed letter that I’m worried might be from my mother. But once I open the letter, I realize it’s an invitation to a witch assembly sent from High Witch, Scarlett Velardi. The only snag? In order to attend, I’ll need to form my own coven. Forming my own coven aside, I quickly realize the ...

Something is up with Lorcan. And I’m fairly sure I’m not just imagining things—he’s been distracted, working later than usual, appears exhausted, and was that vanilla perfume I smelled on him? Regardless of what’s going on with the undead nuisance, I’ve got my own problems to deal with. Namely, I’ve been pinpointed as the main suspect in a murder! I know—as if I have the time or the interest to kill someone. Ridiculous. Anyway, before this situation gets any worse, I need to prove my innocence, stat. Just how am I going to do that? Stick around and find out…

This marriage will be a convenient business arrangement and nothing more. No strings attached, and above all—no broken hearts. Growing up in a broken home taught me to watch out for myself, and that the only love out there is what I create. That's why I stick to taking care of my baby sister and the hodgepodge of wildlife I volunteer to rehabilitate. Add in a stray puppy I found under the car with the help of Wil, a grumpy single dad move-in to Button Blossom, and everything’s good. He's cute. (The puppy, not Wil…well, okay. Wil's broody, which also makes him a teensy bit hot.) Except...

A collection of 250 of the funniest pickup lines anywhere! If you love adult humor and a good laugh, then you will enjoy these cute, nerdy, and dirty pickup lines. Many lines can be deployed effectively in real life without the threat of an impending face slap. However, other offensive lines are for entertainment only. You have to decide your level of risk.

Little Monster has something very important to tell you. It is okay to become sad or angry with your friends, but under no circumstances should you try to nibble them. Remember, don't eat your friends! This book for early readers has about 900 words and 14 illustrations.

Lucky in cards, unlucky in love? At this point, Isabella thinks she’d make a fortune if she hit up a casino. Instead, Chief Dobbins insists she work with Palmer on his latest case. Jameson can’t detect any magic at the crime scene, so is the chief trying to play Cupid? More importantly, will it work? When the fraternity makes their final play at Proctor House, everyone is called into action, even long-lost family members. Hosta la Vista is the exciting conclusion to the Isabella Proctor cozy paranormal mystery series – get it today!

She’s not lazy—she’s calculating. She’s not rude—she’s selective. And she’s not just a cat—she’s Sometimes, the most unpredictable (and snack-driven) secret agent the world has never heard of. Sometimes enjoys sunny naps, occasional ear scritches, and ignoring you when you call her name. But behind her twitchy tail and slow blinks lies a feline force of mystery, suspense, and clever espionage. As a top agent in the Purrfect Detective Agency, Sometimes faces off against enemies who manipulate memory, bend time, and steal more than just tuna. This 35-chapter adventure blends...

Ageless Joy: Funny Affirmations for Seniors embark on a delightful journey filled with humor, wisdom, and the power of laughter. This heartwarming ebook is tailored to seniors who know that age is just a number and that a joyful spirit is timeless. Life is an adventure, and as we gracefully age, there's no better way to embrace it than with laughter and positivity. Within these pages, you'll find a collection of hilarious affirmations tailored for seniors who love to see the lighter side of life. Whether you're lifting your coffee cup in your daily exercise routine or showcasing your tech ...

Everyone remembers the fabulous rhyming stories of old Mother Goose from their childhood, but did you know that she's kept a dark, haunting secret for many long years? Mother Goose is not all she seems to be. Oh, sure, during the daylight hours when the birds are singing and children are laughing, Mother Goose is friendly and wonderful and proper. But when the darkness falls and the coyote calls, that old goose turns into something much less loveable…much more sinister…forever known to the world as Granny Gruesome!