Humor Fiction Adventure

Busy with troubles of her own, Maud the village witch just wants to be left alone. Peace and quiet should be easy enough when you're dead, right? Wrong. Reborn as a powerful lich, Maud is suddenly faced with the attentions of all the righteous heroes, holy clerics, and nosy neighbors of the realm. Now, instead of whiling away the days in her garden with her cat and her knitting, Maud must figure out how much force is required to crush a man's spine, the proper storage solution to keep a spoiling cadaver, and how best to display the remains of the fallen for maximum scare.

Two gassy brothers. One mad clown with Weapons of Mass Flatulation. Can kid fart power save the world's butt? Willy and Peter just want to sit around gaming and farting. So it's really annoying when they're out shopping for their sister's birthday and end up captured by crazed clowns who want to take over the planet. From a remote bouncy castle dungeon to the White House itself, can Willy and Peter outsmart - and out-fart - the evil clowns? Can they save the human race from ex-stink-tion? And still get home in time for their sister's birthday?

Switters is a contradiction for all seasons: an anarchist who works for the government, a pacifist who carries a gun, a vegetarian who sops up ham gravy, a cyberwhiz who hates computers, a robust bon vivant who can be as squeamish as any fop, a man who, though obsessed with the preservation of innocence, is aching to deflower his high-school-age stepsister (only to become equally enamored of a nun ten years his senior). Yet there is nothing remotely wishy-washy about Switters. He doesn't merely pack a pistol. He is a pistol.

Always a bride's maid--never a bride. That's part of the story of the life of Mildred Budge in this third novel in the series. But there is more to know about this Sunday School teacher who has been recruited to be a maid of honor for her good friend's wedding. As someone who has routinely had to muzzle herself at weddings by not calling out when the preacher asks if anyone knows a reason these two should not be wed, "It's not going to work out," this new role of supporting the bride has its challenges for this church lady of the South, Mildred Budge. But being a bride's maid also has its ...

Like his fellow lunarnauts - otherwise known as Moonies - living on Moon Base Alpha, twelve-year-old Dashiell Gibson is famous the world over for being one of the first humans to live on the moon. And he's bored out of his mind. Kids aren't allowed on the lunar surface, meaning they're trapped inside the tiny moon base with next to nothing to occupy their time - and the only other kid Dash's age spends all his time hooked into virtual reality games.

The students at Bailey School try to overcome their fears and their imaginations when they meet the new football coach and student teacher, Mr. Bogey, whom everyone begins to think may be the Bogeyman.

Teddy Fitzroy returns as FunJungle's resident sleuth when the zoo's newest addition goes missing - before she even arrives! - in Panda-monium, the latest novel in Stuart Gibbs's FunJungle series.

The alien invasion was the least of anybody's problems. Out of the blue, a strange alien mothership appears in the sky. At first, it just hangs there, making no apparent attempts to communicate with the people of Earth. But pretty soon the White House is a hole in the ground, and glowing translucent spheres are abducting people from the streets. In order to avert further disaster, Satan, former King on Hell but now exiled on Earth, teams up with his best buddy and travel back to Hell to get a piece of tech that could send the aliens packing. But little do they know that the aliens, the ...

Love’s gentle promise becomes nothing more than a withered dream. With dreams of love and a hope for belonging, shy Belle Parish leaves her position as a maid in Charleston to travel to New Mexico with her best friend to become mail-order brides. Colt Lawson’s letters hold great promise and while his devilishly handsome face matches his picture, something does not add up. Discovering his lie only moments before they wed, Belle flees the church and straight into the Castañeda Hotel Harvey House. Giving up the prospect on ever marrying, she dons her nun-like uniform and focuses on her ...

W. H. Beck's highly anticipated debut promises to delight young listeners with an imaginative tale about a rat who refuses to be judged by his appearance. Malcolm the rat loves the attention he gets as a pet at McKenna School. That' s where he meets the Midnight Academy, a secret society of classroom pets who've pledged to keep the students safe. The trouble is, rats have a bad reputation, so when their iguana leader is kidnapped, the Academy suspects Malcolm.

In this episode of Jim Benton’s New York Times best-selling series, the classmates of Franny K. Stein show no appreciation for her passion—mad science. Even when Franny displays her two-headed robot, they show little interest. But after Franny makes herself invisible and whispers robot-improving suggestions, a few kids believe they’ve actually become mad scientists and cause the robot to run amuck.

Teddy was all set for a campout at his friend Sage’s family ranch - but then Sage gets terrible news: The skull of a rare dinosaur that was being excavated on his property has mysteriously vanished overnight in the middle of a rainstorm, even though it weighed 500 pounds. Not a single footprint has been left behind. Since the dinosaur was top secret, the police don’t believe anyone outside the dig could have stolen it. A T-rex skull can sell for millions of dollars, and everyone is a suspect - including J.J. McCracken, the owner of FunJungle.

Like the previous books in A Series of Unfortunate Events, there is nothing to be heard here but misery, despair, and discomfort, and you still have time to choose something else to listen to.

Prince Liam. Prince Frederic. Prince Duncan. Prince Gustav. You've never heard of them, have you? These are the princes who saved Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White, and Rapunzel, respectively, and yet, thanks to those lousy bards who wrote the tales, you likely know them only as Prince Charming. But all of this is about to change.

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

In the futuristic city of Tabula Ra$a, Zoey Ashe is like a fish so far out of water that it has achieved orbit. After inheriting a criminal empire, the 23-year-old finds herself under threat from all sides as a rogue's gallery of larger-than-life enemies think they smell weakness. On the eve of the world's most ridiculous Halloween celebration, a steamer trunk-sized box arrives at Zoey's door, and she is shocked to find that it contains a disemboweled corpse. She's even more shocked when that corpse, controlled by an unknown party, rises and goes on a rampage through the house.

Landover was a genuine magic kingdom, with fairy folk and wizardry, just as the advertisement has promised. But after he purchased it, Ben Holiday learned that there were a few details the ad had failed to mention. The kingdom was in ruin. The Barons refused to recognize a king, and the peasants were without hope. A dragon was laying waste the countryside, while an evil witch plotted to destroy everything.

Beautiful and brilliant sorcerer girls just can't have nice things, huh? All I wanted to do was swipe a little bit of bandit treasure. Now suddenly I'm being chased around by icky trolls, nasty demons, mean mummies, and brooding golem bad boys. And for what? A tiny little artifact that can bring about the end of the world? Hah! I'll show them there's a reason you don't cross Lina Inverse...

When the kids in Room 3B study their ancestors, they find out something amazing about Ida: Her great-great grandmother sailed on the Titanic! Now Harry and his friends wish they could go to sea, too, and a field trip to a real riverboat gives them the perfect chance. An elementary school teacher for 27 years, Suzy Kline uses her classroom experiences to create wonderfully original characters and situations for her engaging books about Horrible Harry, Song Lee, and the rest of the unforgettable kids in Room 3B.

Sweet Mistakes and Second Chances Ava Walker never had her high school rom-com moment. Grieving the loss of her mom, she stayed in the background—quiet, careful, and crushing hard on Tyler Donovan, the handsome jock who never even knew she existed. Now in her twenties, Ava’s ready to hit reset—starting with a semester in Italy learning the art of gelato. What she didn’t plan? Bumping into Tyler on her journey halfway around the world…or him mistaking her for her confident, outgoing sister. Caught in the lie, Ava has a choice: come clean and risk shattering the sweetest thing ...