Humor Fiction Adventure

Coke and Pepsi McDonald never asked to be geniuses. They never asked to get lowered into a basket of boiling french fries, either. And they certainly never asked to be frozen in soft-serve ice cream, stampeded in a wild stadium riot, or kidnapped on a high-speed roller coaster. But that's what happens when a red-haired villain named Archie Clone is chasing you across America. This just might be the most dangerous road trip in history - and the most awesome!

You can learn a lot about life by observing another species. That's what Humphrey was told when he was first brought to Room 26. And boy, is it true! In addition to having FUN-FUN-FUN in class, each weekend this amazing hamster gets to sleep over with a different student, like Lower-Your-Voice-A.J. and Speak-Up-Sayeh. Soon Humphrey learns to read, write, and even shoot rubber bands (only in self-defense, of course). With lots of friends to help, adventures to enjoy, and a cage with a lock-that-doesn't-lock, Humphrey's life is almost perfect. If only the teacher wasn't out to get him!

Tim is just a peasant, but he dreams big. He wants more out of life than to grow up to be a woodsman like his father. Unfortunately, the only route to success in the kingdom of Wyld is to be born a prince. Still, Tim is determined. He is brave and clever and always tries to do the right thing—even though he rarely gets the credit for it.

Twas the night (okay, more like the week) before Christmas, and all through Pine Cove, California, people are busy buying, wrapping, packing, and generally getting into the holiday spirit.

Steve had experience when it came to waking up with hangovers. Being attacked by kobolds? Not so much. After rousing in the middle of a monster-filled forest, he was sure his life was over. That was until he was saved by a fire-wielding angel who was anything but human. Now Steve finds himself a temporary guest on a small run-down farm filled with monster girls who need his help. None more so than the canine beauty responsible for saving his skin.

Finn Foley has a lunchbox, and when he opens it, weird things come out...like a seven-foot-tall robot and a strange, blinking device that glues itself to his chest. The lunchbox also opens wormholes—shortcuts through space—that take Finn to the farthest corners of the galaxy. Sounds awesome, right?

Fourteen-year-old Ozzy lives near Portland, Oregon, and is desperate for help. His scientist parents have been kidnapped after discovering a formula that enables mind control. Their work was so top secret that Ozzy is afraid to go to the police, but without help, he fears he'll never find his parents. Then he stumbles across a classified ad in the local newspaper that says "Wizard for Hire. Call 555-SPEL." Ozzy has read about wizards in books like Harry Potter, but wizards couldn't exist today, could they? After Ozzy meets the wizard Labyrinth - a.k.a. Rin - he's even more skeptical.

The trophy is just about the ugliest piece of “art” that apprentice magician Skeeve has ever seen, but the beautiful Tananda wants to steal it for a special occasion. Skeeve’s not above indulging in a daring act of interdimensional thievery for a good cause and the chance of adventure, and he figures that between his abilities and Tanda’s, the guardians of the trophy won’t stand a chance. That’s where their plan goes horribly wrong.

This is the worst thing you can wish on a citizen of Discworld. Especially for the magically challenged Rincewind, who has already had far too much excitement in his life. Unfortunately, the unlucky wizard always seems to end up in the middle of, well, absolutely everything. So when a request for a 'Great Wizzard' arrives from the faraway Counterweight Continent, it's obviously Rincewind who's sent. For one thing, he's the only one who spells wizard that way.

Low-level entertainment lawyer Nick Carter thinks it's a prank, not an alien encounter, when a redheaded mullah and a curvaceous nun show up at his office. But Frampton and Carly are highly advanced (if bumbling) extraterrestrials. And boy, do they have news. The entire cosmos, they tell him, has been hopelessly hooked on humanity's music ever since "Year Zero" (1977 to us), when American pop songs first reached alien ears. This addiction has driven a vast intergalactic society to commit the biggest copyright violation since the Big Bang.

Ben Ashwood is losing at life—big time. Broke, single, and stuck with the world’s worst boss, he’s just about given up. But when his overenthusiastic best friend hands him a golden ticket—a chance to enter the most advanced VR game ever created—he hesitates. Because knowing Ben’s luck, even fantasy worlds won’t cut him a break.

Tiffany Aching has spent years studying with senior witches, and now she is on her own. As the witch of the Chalk, she performs the bits of witchcraft that aren't sparkly, aren't fun, don't involve any kind of wand, and that people seldom ever hear about: She does the unglamorous work of caring for the needy. But someone - or something - is igniting fear, inculcating dark thoughts and angry murmurs against witches.

In this enchanting ninth installment, the siblings fall into the story of Aladdin. They're excited to be in this world of magic carpets and genies...but making three wishes isn't so easy, and soon hilarities and hijinks ensue! These books are feminist fairy tales for a new generation.

Having defeated the mad wizard, Isstvan, Skeeve, and Aahz have taken over the remote inn that was the enemy’s hideout. They’re generally safe from visitors, and if not, Skeeve’s growing magical abilities allow him to disguise himself and his friends as such repulsive serving staff that potential guests flee, screaming. Skeeve has grown bored of studying magic at the isolated inn, however, and one visitor who does not flee offers him an invitation for employment as court magician in the kingdom of Possiltum.

Love doesn't come easy. Duped by Drover, mocked by Pete the Barncat, and busted yet again by Sally May, the Head of Ranch Security decides it's time for a break from the grueling daily grind. Heading into the wild outback, Hank goes in search of his true love, the charming Miss Beulah.

Dave and his friends have escaped from Herobrine’s clutches, but now they have a new problem...they’re stuck in the middle of the ocean! Now they’ll have to battle pirates, drowned and, worst of all, the biggest squid the world has ever seen! The third audiobook in the Dave the Villager saga delivers all the laughs, adventures, and tension of the first two audiobooks...but now with a lot more water!

On one dark and windy night, Ozzy steps out of bed, jumps out his window, and walks straight into the ocean. It's as if someone is controlling Ozzy's mind. He's saved by Sigi - Rin's daughter - and Clark, a mechanical robot bird. More than ever, Ozzy could really use the services of Rin, the Wizard for Hire. When a mysterious package arrives in the mail containing a plane ticket and a thumb drive, Ozzy is certain it's from Rin. But when Ozzy, Sigi, and Clark arrive in New York, Rin isn't there.

Terry Pratchett's final Discworld novel, and the fifth to feature the witch Tiffany Aching.

Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.

Clay Cooper and his band were once the best of the best - the meanest, dirtiest, most feared and admired crew of mercenaries this side of the Heartwyld. But their glory days are long past; the mercs have grown apart and grown old, fat, drunk - or a combination of the three. Then a former bandmate turns up at Clay's door with a plea for help: his daughter Rose is trapped in a city besieged by an enemy horde 100,000 strong and hungry for blood.