Humor Fiction Adventure

Football has come to the ancient city of Ankh-Morpork - not the old-fashioned, grubby pushing and shoving, but the new, fast football with pointy hats for goalposts and balls that go gloing when you drop them. And now, the wizards of Unseen University must win a football match, without using magic, so they're in the mood for trying everything else.

A rumor on the ranch: who ever heard of a fiddle-playing fox? Not Hank the Cowdog, that's for sure. But when several reports of unexplained fiddle music come in, Hank knows that it's his job to check things out. And to his surprise, he finds that the ranch has indeed been invaded by a fox with a fiddle!

While the snow swirls outdoors and the fire crackles in the hearth, Mr. Putter decides to write a mystery book. But he soon learns that writing isn't as easy as he thought it would be.

Davi has done this all before. She’s tried to be the hero and take down the all-powerful Dark Lord. A hundred times she’s rallied humanity and made the final charge. But the time loop always gets her in the end. Sometimes she’s killed quickly. Sometimes it takes a while. But she’s been defeated every time. This time? She’s done being the hero and done being stuck in this endless time loop. If the Dark Lord always wins, then maybe that’s who she needs to be. It’s Davi’s turn to play on the winning side.

Fed up with his family, Ralph decides to hop on his motorcycle and head down the road to Happy Acres Camp. Unfortunately, life at camp is not all peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches! A strict watchdog, a mouse-hungry cat, and a troubled boy named Garf keep Ralph on his toes and away from his precious motorcycle. Perhaps home is not such a bad place to be, if only Ralph can find a way to get there again!

Civilization has fallen. The solar system is blanketed with the automated weapons of ancient wars, engineered plagues, hazardous waste, rogue AI, monsters from outside our dimension, artificial disasters, and nuclear climate change. Every moment of life on Earth is a brutal fight for survival. The people of Sol carry on, but hope is at a premium. They need something more. Someone with a plan, a savior, a hero. What they get is Lily.

Meet Percy Stinkson. He's just a normal kid, trying to have fun and make it through school doing as little homework as possible....until he finds out he's the son of a Greek god! And Percy's father isn't just any Greek god. He's Pooseidon, God of Farts! Percy's life is totally transformed as he travels to Camp Half-Wit, where he's trained to use his special farting powers. He's going to need these powers, because he soon learns it's up to him to save the universe by going on a quest to find Zeus's stolen iPhone! It'll be a dangerous quest, but Percy will have company: Grover, a weird kid who thinks he's a half-goat, and Annabeth, a super-hot girl who unfortunately doesn't want to date Percy. Yet. There'll be loads of action and tons of smelly farts as Percy's quest proceeds to its exciting conclusion: a showdown in the Underworld with Hades himself! The odds might be against Percy, but don't give up hope, because he'll have the ultimate weapon at his disposal: The Lightning Fart! Can a fart really save the universe?

One man’s family is another man’s harem… Forty-year-old Steve Goodwin is living high on the bachelor life. With his latest conquest, the lithe and shapely personal trainer Misha Maxwell, ready to say yes, Steve’s world gets turned upside down. Steve’s best friend’s, Dan Archer, is leaving town on a months long project and trusts only Steve to look after his voluptuous wife, Rachel, and his four pure and innocent college-aged daughters. Bratty, blue-eyed bombshell Lilly is the first Archer daughter to test Steve’s patience. And now Steve must discover his inner father to quell ...

When Sally May and Loper head out of town for a wedding, Hank the Cowdog, Head of Ranch Security, knows it's up to him to keep things under control. After subjecting strawberry ice cream to rigorous product testing, test-driving a mysterious spaceship, and thwarting a sneak attack from a couch monster, Hank faces the fight of his life.

Stephanie's uncle Gordon is a writer of horror fiction. But when he dies and leaves her his estate, Stephanie learns that, while he may have written horror, it certainly wasn't fiction. Pursued by evil forces intent on recovering a mysterious key, Stephanie finds help from an unusual source, the wisecracking skeleton of a dead wizard.

Time is a resource. Everyone knows it has to be managed. You mess with it at your peril. You can let it move fast or slowly, but what you mustn't do is allow it to stop. The Monks of History have the glamorous job of time management in the Discworld. They store it and pump it from the places where it's wasted (like underwater—how much time does a codfish need?) to places like cities, where there's never enough time. But the construction of the world's first truly accurate clock starts a race against, well, time for Lu Tze and his apprentice Lobsang Ludd.

In this fresh, funny new middle grade series, best-selling YA author Sarah Mlynowski writes for a younger audience for the first time! In each audiobook, Abby and her younger brother Jonah visit the magic mirror in their basement at night, and the mirror transports them inside a different fairy tale. In the first magical adventure, Abby and Jonah find themselves tangled in Snow White's story. Once there, they accidentally change key events in the tale! In order for Snow White to get her happy ending, it's up to Abby and Jonah to make things right.

No one is shocked by the six-eyed alien strolling around the Universal back lot. The tourists just think he's part of the show. It doesn't take long for Buddy to land a role on a popular TV show, playing (of course) an alien. He becomes an overnight heartthrob and is suddenly faced with legions of adoring fans, rides in glamorous limos, and appearances at "all-the-shrimp-you-can-eat" red carpet parties. But can Buddy maintain his secret identity while in the spotlight?

On a typical day, on an average train platform, two warring sister goddesses found their avatars. One avatar, the young Yoshi, was swept away to the world of Ephemera to be a great hero of honor, courage, and light. The other, the not-so-young Seiji, was swept away to become a dark lord out to kill or conquer all in his path. But Seiji is in absolutely no mood for that nonsense. It's bad enough that on Earth he was a closed-off, misanthropic grouch with zero patience for other people. Now he's supposed to muster enough of a give-a-damn to lead vile hordes?

A storm. Rain-lashed city streets. A flash of lightning. A scruffy lad sees a girl leap desperately from a horse-drawn carriage in a vain attempt to escape her captors. Can the lad stand by and let her be caught again? Of course not, because he's...Dodger. Seventeen-year-old Dodger may be a street urchin, but he gleans a living from London's sewers, and he knows a jewel when he sees one. He's not about to let anything happen to the unknown girl - not even if her fate impacts the most powerful people in England.

Promoted early, Desmond McLaughlin and his mates are now full members of the Hegemony military, with all the rights and duties that rank includes. Given the benefits of achieving the rank of full adept early, Desmond and company elected to be deployed aboard the battlecruiser Fist of Defiance, a ship that just happened to be part of the Seventh Border Fleet. The same fleet headed by a certain admiral whose daughter was saved by Desmond and his girls.

It's summertime, and Mr. Putter and Tabby are tired of being hot. Their neighbor Mrs. Teaberry and her dog Zeke are sweaty, too. Maybe a trip to the pond will cool them off. Mrs. Teaberry packs a lunch of apple tea, tomato sandwiches, and kiwi salad. Mr. Putter likes her funny food. When they get to the pond, they rent a boat and find a shady spot for a picnic. They share tall tales while they eat. Mr. Putter tells about the time he won a worm race.

Three factions vie for control of the galaxy. Rig, a gunslinging, thieving rebel-with-a-cause, doesn’t give a damn about them, and she hasn’t looked back since abandoning them three years ago. That is, until her former faction sends her a message: Return what she stole from them, or her twin sister will die. Rig embarks on a journey across the galaxy to save her - but for once, she’s not alone. She has help from her network of resistance contacts, her taser-wielding librarian girlfriend, and a mysterious bounty hunter.

The Great Recession has shuffled Clay Jannon out of his life as a San Francisco Web-design drone - and serendipity, sheer curiosity, and the ability to climb a ladder like a monkey has landed him a new gig working the night shift at Mr. Penumbra’s 24-Hour Bookstore. But after just a few days on the job, Clay begins to realize that this store is even more curious than the name suggests. There are only a few customers, but they come in repeatedly and never seem to actually buy anything....

The first two thrilling adventures in the brand-new collectible series for children, from survival expert and Chief Scout Bear Grylls. Each audiobook follows a different child on an outdoor activity camp. This volume features two exciting adventures. Blizzard Challenge: Can his adventure with Bear Grylls change Olly's mind about teamwork and perseverance? Desert Challenge: Sophie loves activity camp...but is terrified of insects. Will Sophie overcome her fear of insects back in the real world?