Humor Dog

It's Valentine's Day on the ranch but bachelor-cowboy Slim Chance doesn't know it. Sally May tells him to forget about the cows and "Go to town and buy a nice gift for Miss Viola!" Slim hates to shop, but he goes to town (with the dogs, of course) and buys a nice box of candy for Miss Viola. But on the way to Viola's house, Hank and Drover take an interest in the candy and...will there be a Happy Valentine's Day on the ranch? Slim sings a bachelor's opinion in his "Valentine's Song."

When Hank hears a rumor that the sky is going to fall from the ranch's resident rooster, he is naturally a bit skeptical. But then a report from Pete the Barncat and a strange dream seem to support the theory, and Hank realizes that he'd better take the threat seriously. After all, as Head of Ranch Security, it's his job to protect the ranch from any and all potential danger.

All families come with their own unique problems, but when that family is a clan of Eastern European vampires led by an extremely wealthy viscount living it up in a luxurious, imported castle, only Tony Mandolin can solve the problem. San Francisco's only flatfoot with an eye into the weird runs into trouble with a pregnant werewolf. Tony swears he never laid a hand on her. Now someone's burning the city's more corrupt citizens alive from the inside out. Needless to say, the city fathers are not pleased.

On a blustery day in late fall, Hank sneaks into the back of Slim's pickup and finds himself at a neighboring rancher's fall branding...the very neighbor, in fact, who owns the gorgeous Miss Scamper the Beagle! Unfortunately, Miss Scamper has always been a little hard to figure out, and he can't decide if she's crazy about him...or just plain crazy. And, as the day unfolds, it even begins to look like she's angling to land him in a heap of trouble with her pit bull boyfriend, Steel!

When Stick Dog and his crew unknowingly discover chopsticks, their taste buds lead them to a lakeside sushi restaurant. They see the sushi. They smell the sushi. But how are they going to get the sushi? Several things stand in Stick Dog’s way. They include a squirrel eating a barbecue potato chip, a runaway canoe, and a little female human. Stick Dog must navigate around each of these obstacles if he’s ever going to get some sushi for his drooling friends. It’s another wacky food-snatching mission.

Are you ready for a festive adventure? Join me, Junior, on the most PAWSOME, most BARKTASTIC journey through the HOWLIDAY SEASON.

Melanie knew someone should have kept Barry Turk on a short leash. The star Poodle handler and lady killer had a habit of chicanery that bred contempt in the dog show circuit. But when Barry is shot dead in his own driveway, even Melanie is stunned at how unsporting the competition can get. Now, as Melanie digs for clues deep under Connecticut's well-groomed surface, she finds herself sniffing around in the killer's own backyard, and counts herself lucky to have the animal instincts to keep herself alive. .

At last, Henry Huggins's father has promised to take him fishing, on one condition. Henry's dog, Ribsy, has been in all sorts of trouble lately, from running off with the neighbor's barbecue roast to stealing a policeman's lunch. To go on the fishing trip, Henry must keep Ribsy out of trouble -- no chasing cats, no digging up lawns...and no getting anywhere near little Ramona Quimby, the pest of Klickitat Street.

Sassy and Waldo love school so much that sometimes they stay after the day is over. And that's how they started a club by accident. Sassy and Waldo love school! Everything smells like meat and dirty socks! And they love being able to help Stewart. When Stewart has to stay late after school for a Junior Office Supply Enthusiasts meeting, Sassy and Waldo are left alone to raid the cafeteria's refrigerator. As Sassy and Waldo's after school antics escalate, hilarity ensues as the two dogs start a club...by accident.

The Mayor was murdered? And a magical plant from my garden is to blame? Even if I wanted that jerk dead, running my Bed & Breakfast takes all my time. There’s no way I could sneak a murder into my busy schedule, but obviously, someone I know did. A plant stolen from my garden poisoned the Mayor. Who could have done this? And why would someone frame me? I'm certain that my hard-working assistant, the delivery driver, and my gardener are innocent. And I’m sure it wasn’t the sexy water witch who spends an absurd amount of time staying at my little Bed & Breakfast…but he does know way ...

Stick Dog and his gang of hungry hounds want to play tug-of-war. Their search for rope leads to something even better - spaghetti! Once they get a taste, they must get some more. It will be their most difficult mission ever and will demand all of Stick Dog's problem-solving skills. They'll need to scale the tallest mountain in the suburbs and sneak into a restaurant filled with people.

In this exciting case, Hank falls victim to a series of sneaky schemes: first, a Turkey Debacle endangers his relationship with Sally May, then, a case of poisoning puts him at death's doornail, and finally, a disastrous ride to town almost finishes him off. As each terrible event takes its toll on his reputation - not to mention his dignity - Hank begins to notice a pattern. Could it be that an evil mastermind is behind these plots?

Penguin presents the audiobook edition of Dog Days by Jeff Kinney, read by Dan Russell. The way I like to spend my summer holidays is in front of the TV, playing video games with the curtains closed and the light turned off. Unfortunately, Mom's idea of the perfect summer holiday is different from mine. Greg's mom has a vision of 'family togetherness' that really doesn't sound a whole lot of fun. But there's a brand-new addition to the Heffley family to contend with, and it looks like Greg might be outnumbered. It could be a real dog of a summer....

Dallas Williams was suffering from a crisis in life after losing his wife and child in a car accident. After stumbling on the small country town of Dog Run, he decided the quirky, frequently humorous town was the place to restart his life. Everything was going well and he even had a new love in his life, Stormy Weather. When he finally realized she was toxic he broke off the relationship. It was then she decided to come back and kill him. But, things didn't work out the way she hoped.

Meet Nosewise. He's spunky. He's curious. And he's a dog who can't understand why his packmates Merlin and Morgana spend all day practicing magic tricks. If it's a trick they want, he's the dog to ask! He can already Sit!, Stay!, and Roll Over! But there's no way Nosewise is Stay!ing when his master and best friend, Merlin, is kidnapped. There's nothing Nosewise won't do to get Merlin back, even if it means facing the strange Fae people and their magic-eating worms or tangling with the mysterious Sword in the Stone.

It's a dark day for Hank the Cowdog. First, Loper invites Hank's archenemy, Plato the Bird Dog, over for some quail hunting on the ranch. Then Beulah, the collie of Hank's dreams, snubs him in favor of watching Plato in action. But when Beulah finds herself caught in the clutches of a ruthless cannibal, Hank knows there's only one dog tough enough to save her...and it isn't a bird dog.

Spencer Quinn's Heart of Barkness is the latest in the New York Times best-selling series that the Los Angeles Times called "nothing short of masterful".

Jill Grinager is holding her life together with one hand—literally. As the one-armed owner of the only funeral home in the fading small town of Rockdale, Minnesota, Jill’s days are already grim. Add in her responsibilities as the guardian of her Elvis-obsessed nephew, Randall, and her life feels like a tragic comedy. When Jill learns that a bully from her past, Vicky Veitch, is returning to town, things take a sharp turn for the worse.

Hey, what happened to my dog? Did you eat it? Where'd it go? And what's with all that juicy stuff around your lips? Okay, pal, we better talk this out. You can read the rest of the story to find out what happens. Approximately 1,100 words and 10 pictures.

In the field known as Astrobiology, there is a research program called SETI, The Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence. At the heart of SETI, there is a mystery known as The Great Silence, or The Fermi Paradox, named after the famous physicist Enrico Fermi. Essentially, he asked “If they exist, where are they?”. Some quite cogent arguments maintain that if there was extraterrestrial intelligence, they should have visited the Earth by now. This story, a bit tongue in cheek, gives a fictional account of one explanation for The Great Silence, known as The Zoo Hypothesis. Are we a ...