Humor Ancient

From a smelly watering hole deep in the heart of the Serengeti to the ferocious clamor of the Colosseum, join Julius Zebra and his motley menagerie of friends as they gear up to be...GLADIATORS! Only if they win the love of the Roman crowds will they win back their freedom. But do Julius and his pals have what it takes to succeed in a world where only the meanest and toughest survive?

The first in a fantastically funny new history series from the acclaimed Tony Robinson, who takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining, smelly and disgusting bits about the Egyptians! It's history, but not as we know it!

From the 1983 Hugo-nominated novelette, a zany trilogy — Little Big Man meets Life of Brian in a gleeful, politically incorrect satirical romp through the tropes of science fiction. It's the first century, and Rome has conquered the North American continent. Only the wily tribe of Lacotii don't seem to realize they've been conquered. General Titus Papinianus is governor of that untamed land, and Aquila, chief of the savage Lacoti nation, is a Roman senator. But official titles aside, their duty is to Caesar. So when Caesar sends them on a quest for the fabled land of China, thought to be ...

Having survived a fight-to-the-death ceremony that elevated her to Queen of Enturia, 15-year-old Rhynt must now face the Mystrosians, a formidable force intent on conquering Enturia and enslaving her and her people. As hundreds of Mystrosian ships approach the Enturian harbor, she turns to Baron Bookins, the former fool to the king, for help. He says he has a plan to defeat the Mystrosians, a gambit that will assure victory. Maybe. There's just one problem. Whelan the Wanderer, Randall himself, God of Gods has other ideas. He wants the Mystrosians to win and sets his own gambits in motion. ...

A meeting in a cemetery somewhere in Las Vegas between a pale-faced witch and a servant to the albino demon named Synner. She gives him an ancient sword that holds the powers that will kill Cadence Mage. A year before, there was a battle at The Saint Joan of Arc Church, an event Cadence wanted to forget. The battle left him holding his dead love, Meadow, in his arms. Unaware his mother placed Meadow’s soul inside the three-headed dagger and in time, with Tidus Brack’s help, they enter the dream world to bring her back from the dead, but bringing her back will come with a price. The pale...

Elvira is home to creatures the world doesn’t want—or wants too much, like the fairies. Now the secret’s out, and tourists are coming to see the tiny town’s wonders. Before they arrive, someone spellbinds fairies, slashes werewolves and sets the vampires at each other’s throats. Ghost hunter Josh Seldom and his (mostly human) friends must stop the mayhem. But in a town full of monsters, how do you find a killer? Expect realism & fantasy, mystery & humor. Pure fun!

Join "The Knave" and Sir Walter on a wild tale of mistaken identity, kidnapping, bowling, and a rug that, in faith, really tied the room together - in a sidesplitting Shakespearean comedy of errors and ninepins, told in five glorious acts of iambic pentameter and impeccable period prose.

When Joe's sister, Anna, accidentally opens The Book, Joe, Sam, and Fred suddenly find themselves in ancient Egypt. Soon, the Time Warpers are dodging crocodiles on the Nile, outwitting the evil high priest, and searching for an escape route from the mummy-making chamber.

Petronius’ Satyricon is a rampant and vivacious Roman adventure dating back to the first century, during the reign of Nero. It follows the exploits of Encolpius, an impoverished ex-gladiator, and his boy-lover Giton. The action is fleet and the narrative sweeping: over the course of their journey we meet a host of lewd and comical rogues, including beggars, prostitutes, poets, sodomites, and pedants, and witness many strange and curious events, including a remarkably vulgar multi-course feast, hosted by the pompous nouveau riche Trimalchio

Sarah Wright has a job to die for. She never asked for it, never even filled out an application. To be fair, she didn’t ask to die either. Ever since she woke up as a vampire, she only wanted to unlive in as ordinary a way as possible. Alas, the realities of undeath and awakening to the greater existence of the supernatural made certain demands of the family. Now Sarah runs errands for the vampire boss of Seattle. It isn’t such a bad gig when she’s not being shot at, chased, clawed up, thrown around, or scrambling to keep her family safe.

The first in a fantastic new history series from the acclaimed Tony Robinson. Tony Robinson takes you on a headlong gallop through time, pointing out all the most important, funny, strange, amazing, entertaining and gory bits about the Romans! It's history, but not as we know it! Find out everything you ever needed to know in this brilliant, action-packed, fact-filled book.

How much excitement can one provincial priest take? Gregory Dumple is about to find out!Dumple struggles through his dull existence—the daily routine of funerals and heartburn aren’t anyone’s idea of fun. A mysterious beep from the church’s organ will change Dumple’s life forever, but he has no idea he’s experiencing the first piece of an extraterrestrial puzzle. Curiosity catapults him and confirmation student Ronny into a wild adventure among the stars. Dumple must uncover the secrets of an ancient alien civilization, play the hero and thwart an alien takeover with an ...

Hiromi Tanaka’s life was going nowhere fast, until the day it went everywhere, all at once. All it took was a stolen tube of Pringles, a mysterious inheritance from a mad uncle, and one very, very bad decision. One minute, she's a stressed-out IT worker in London. The next, she’s the unwilling owner of a doomsday weapon, the reluctant leader of a crew of cosmic oddballs, and the most wanted woman in the galaxy. Hunted by fanatical zealots and shadowy government agents, Hiromi must navigate a universe of treacherous aliens, high-stakes cons, and mind-bending technology. She's not a hero....

Moon Musings (A Samantha Moon Short Story Collection) Ever wondered what Samantha Moon really thinks? Moon Musings is a candid, playful, and revealing peek behind the fangs—an unusual collection where Sam writes her own “blogs” about life as a vampire mom, private investigator, reluctant killer, and hopeless coffee addict. She bares her secrets, confesses her doubts, and jokes about blood diets, mind-reading, and raising superpowered kids in suburbia. But it doesn’t stop there. Readers also get Moon Memories, a sharp, dialogue-only “client meeting” that turns into an unexpected ...

The thrilling fourth and final novel in the bestselling "Heart of a Witch" series! Sahara has finally made her choice between Robert and Donovan. However, when Donovan tells her he has a new girlfriend, Sahara is shocked to learn that his new love interest is none other than her witch nemesis! As she prickles with jealousy, Robert wonders if Sahara is second-guessing her decision in choosing him. She denies it, but asks Paris to meet her in the middle of the night for some witchy girl talk. Paris believes her evil sister has been manipulating Donovan by using black magic. Meanwhile, ...

They were pranksters. They were the best of friends. And they both loved a good mystery. And now Sherlock Holmes and Walt Whitman, the budding poet, are going to try and solve the greatest mystery of their lives: How does a mouse run up a clock? A shocking tale of innocence and a dark mystery that unfolds from a whimsy into a mystery of terror and suspense... That only courage and the right deductions can solve the mystery and save them

Sarah was just trying to stop her dungeon from collapsing. Now she’s rewriting reality. What began as a bureaucratic headache has exploded into metaphysical mayhem. As a hybrid dungeon core with a snark problem and too much cosmic power, Sarah is evolving into something no one—kingdoms, liches, or the laws of magic—can define. The magical Compact is cracking. Archives are collapsing. And the Lich Lord Kravix? He’s one ritual away from turning the world into his ascension playground. Armed with a crumbling dungeon, glitchy golden glyphs, and a desperate need for five minutes of peace...

The brain, we have been told is greater than might. Truly and indeed, as could be seen in this short story, the Tortoises used her superior brain and intelligence to beat and out witted the dog in a race to win the most beautiful king daughter as wife. Though, it is unimaginable but it happened. Even you too can learn how to out smart and over take your particular competitors in life and business. Read and apply these indispensable lessons and win every days race and out shined your competitors. Yes! It is very possible and important you read, learn and apply these unbeatable and valuable ...

Athens, 460 B.C. Life's tough for Nicolaos, sole investigating agent in Athens. His girlfriend's left him and his boss wants to fire him. But when an Athenian official is murdered, Pericles has no choice but to put Nico on the job. The case takes Nico, with a beautiful slave girl, to the land of Ionia within the Persian Empire. The Persians will execute him on the spot if they think he's a spy.

Avery Doyle loves vampires; he's read every novel, seen all the movies, and researched the folklore. When his first one-night-stand, Caroline, turns out to be a true vampire on the run, he jumps at the chance to leave his ordinary life and join her as a "child of the night". The honeymoon ends, however, when Caroline's brutal Creator Sebastian enslaves them on his island estate and Avery must confront the dehumanizing reality behind his dreams. In order to survive, Caroline and Avery take their place as servants in Sebastian's household during a gathering of the most powerful vampires on Earth.