Halloween Humor

Book one of the fantasy horror trilogy, with lashings of British humour. Philip awakes, naked and chained to the floor by wrist and ankle, in the ramshackle dwelling of a family of murderous inbreds. His only hope of rescue lies with Matilda, their hideously deformed and needy daughter, who lurks in the shadows in her bloodied wedding dress. But what will she require of him in return? Matilda has lived in the darkness all her life. Finally, an Outsider has appeared, a man who - with a little good-natured prodding - can save her from her brutal father and show her what life is like outside ...

The Capulets and the Montagues have some deep and essential differences. Blood differences. Of course, the Capulets can escape their vampire fate, and the Montagues can try not to kill their undead enemies. But at the end of the day, their blood feud is unstoppable. So it's really quite a problem when Juliet, a vampire-to-be, and Romeo, the human who should be hunting her, fall desperately in love. What they don't realize is how deadly their love will turn out to be - or what it will mean for their afterlives....

The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke audiobook full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy, and massive assortment of Halloween jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to listen to and full of laughs. After a few jokes, you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This massive collection of 100+ Halloween jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about monsters, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, and other Halloween ghouls of all shapes and sizes will make make you go wild with laughter

Oliver was always a jerk. Now that he’s dead, he’s downright terrifying. Augie Doyle eats, sleeps, and breathes horror. Vampires? Real. Werewolves? Absolutely. Zombies? Don’t get him started. His best friend, Ethan, thinks it’s all nonsense—until Oliver Hackl shows up to school. Five days ago, Oliver fell off the Old Mill Bridge and broke his neck. The paramedics pronounced him dead. Now he’s back. Pale. Slow. Wrong. Augie’s convinced it’s the zombie apocalypse. Ethan’s sure there’s a logical explanation. Then Oliver’s friends start dropping like flies. One vanishes, ...

Beware of this hysterical and stinky adventure in Monster Crap! In the silly little town, where pumpkins glow, and Halloween parties come alive, a wild gathering of teenage monsters is in full swing. A full moon shines bright on this Halloween night as the monsters feast on too many treats.

Something terrible is going on, my person-pal! Something so DREADFUL, it’s enough to curl your tail with TERROR (if you have one, of course)...A spine-jangling howling has been heard in the middle of the night, favorite toys have been stolen, trash bags have been shredded and all the best pee-spots have been re-scented! It must have something to do with the night of the howly wiener, which is only days away....

'Should have called this book Ghost Ghouls and Fiends.' Lazonby, a young man about town, Against his wishes is engaged to the red headed and wild eyed Larisha. Is she werewolf, vampire or part fiend? He tries to break free and Larisha calls him to her from the tower of a ruined Castle. He is standing on a precipice will anyone come to his rescue 'Move over Frankenstein, out of the way Dracula , Larisha is here.' 'A Quirky Gothic Horror Romance.'

Listeners graduating from the Princess in Black and Isadora Moon series will love the adventures of Amelia Fang, a sparkly little vampire girl in a dark and gloomy world! Amelia is going on a trip with her Rainbow Rangers troop (led by unicorns Ricky and Graham) to Sugarplum Island!

What silently waits in the shadows at night? What's under your bed, keeping just out of sight? Do you ever hear strange, creaking noises at night? Ever wonder what makes those noises? Lucy Dungston always did. Until, one morning, Lucy discovers that all the grown-ups have disappeared - as if into thin air. Chaos descends as the children in Lucy's town run riot. It's mayhem. It's madness. To most kids, it's amazing!

She just divorced one monster, she’s not going to fall for another! Maggie I thought I’d done everything right, getting married to the perfect man and creating the perfect life together. But it was all an illusion. My ex-husband was an emotionally abusive cheater and now that I’m free from him, I’m ready to get a new start. When my cousin offers me a job, I head to the small town of Greysden Colorado, eager to leave all my bad memories behind. But there’s something weird about this town… like the fact that my cousin is a witch who says that I also have latent magical powers. And...

Today is Halloween, and Nancy can't wait to collect candy from each house she visits. But it's hard to leave all those delectable treats in her pumpkin pail. Is there such a thing as too much candy?

Get ready to laugh aloud with these Halloween-themed jokes and riddles! One hundred and one hilarious jokes will have you smiling and the riddles will have you thinking. It’s the perfect entertainment for you or your kids when you are at home, or if you’re taking a long car ride, or if you’re throwing a Halloween party! Whatever the reason, this book is for you!

Anyone can tell jokes. The most important part of any joke is the pause before giving the ending or punch line. Goblin jokes can be told anytime, as well as Halloween.

One Halloween, a little witch decides she'd finally like to see what this special night is about. As soon as she makes a new friend, she discovers how much fun trick-or-treating with humans can be.

Uh oh! A librarian has left the window open, and now it’s time for fun-loving bats of all ages to fly in for a night in the stacks. Bats at the Library is a recipient of starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Horn Book Magazine.

It’s the end of the world as she knows it! Thirteen-year-old Kelly Ferguson’s secret life as a monster-hunting babysitter is taking a beastly turn. Now she has to go on a rescue mission to Monster Island - where monster royalty is turning kids into hairy mutant monsters! To pull it off, she’ll have to face off against internet trolls, trash monsters, and her fear of screwing up - plus the biggest, baddest Boogey of all. With the fate of humanity on the line, can Kelly save the kids, the world, and her own social life before the big school dance?

The Lambchops can't wait to be spooked at a Halloween party! Arthur is excited for the haunted house, and Stanley wants to show off his limbo moves. But when they see a bully picking on their friend at the party, the boys know that they have to help. Soon, Stanley comes up with a plan that is flat-out hilarious! With simple text, this is the perfect choice for Flat Stanley fans of every age.

You will giggle so hard at these funny Halloween jokes for kids. There are over 100 super funny and hilarious Halloween jokes created to make you laugh!

Back in 1979, when Solomon Zuch and Delphyne Shea were in high school, they shared an intense, romantic liaison on Halloween night. It became one of Solomon's most treasured memories. Twenty years later, Solomon is the married manager of the All Hallows' Eve Shoppe, a pop-up store that reopens every year to sell Halloween supplies to customers in north Columbus, Ohio. Delphyne Shadow, as she is now popularly known, calls herself the Madonna of the Underworld, and every year she hosts the most infamous Halloween party in town, the Nightmare Bash.

Enjoy being whisked into the season of jack-o-lanterns, costumes, and treats by conjuring some extra, howling-good entertainment to share by the flickering fire! Vlad Wolf has compiled a sinister collection of Halloween trivia and jokes for all ages.