Halloween Humor

When the Watsons decide to zip their porcine wonder into a formfitting princess dress for Halloween, complete with tiara, they are certain that Mercy will be beautiful beyond compare. Mercy is equally certain she likes the sound of trick-or-TREATING and can picture those piles of buttered toast already. As for the Lincoln Sisters next door, how could they know that their cat would get into the act and lead them all on a Halloween "parade" of hysterical proportions?

Halloween pranks should be harmless. Unless you accidentally kidnap a vampire. Back in college, Bob "Ironspell" Ironspell-Cabas and his buddy Droid thought releasing a horde of bats in vampire territory would be the perfect Halloween joke. After all, Droid is an exterminator—it should’ve been simple. But when the prank goes sideways, they realize they’ve accidentally captured a real vampire along with the flying rodents. And that’s just the beginning. Now, zombies are rising, vampires are hunting, and Ironspell just spotted the girl of his dreams—unfortunately, she’s under a ...

I thought online dating was tricky. Could the real treat be a love I never expected? Being the third wheel to my coupled friends is getting old. Tired of sitting on the sidelines, I joined MagicSpark, a hip, blind-dating app for risk-takers like myself. Before I know it, I’m completely hooked on my mystery match, Desi. We’re meeting on Halloween night and I can’t wait. But lately, I’m noticing my friend Joy in ways I never expected. She’s helping me design my first home flip. Her infectious laughter and quirky charm make me question everything I thought I knew about her. Now, ...

Evelyn Witch has everything a witch needs. Messy hair, bubbling potions, and perfectly carved pumpkins. But there’s something missing… A pet! Perhaps she’ll get a bat or a griffin, or—Oh. She can only afford the mystery pet: a plain white egg. She watches and waits for it to hatch. Sniveling snails, something has to be done! Evelyn rolls up her sleeves and heads to the library, where they keep all the best spells. It’s time to get serious.

Not all witches ride brooms, wear pointy hats, and have warty noses. A fortune teller predicts Augie Doyle will soon meet a green-eyed beauty with a crescent-moon tattoo. Best yet, she’s his soul mate. That would be exciting news if he didn’t already have a girlfriend. Breaking up is out of the question. She lives with him and his dad. They’re practically a family. But then the new girl arrives. Just like the psychic predicted: gorgeous, smart, confident … and somehow into Augie. It feels too good to be true. And it is. As soon as she enters his life, things start going wrong. One ...

This box set collection contains all four cozy mysteries in the Dream Droids series. Dream Droids is the premier robotics company specializing in sentient humanoids. Not only can they create the perfect human companion, but they can also create the perfect disaster. From undercover agents to sabotage, there's always a mystery and romance brewing when Dream Droids is involved. Set contains the complete paranormal cozy mystery / sweet sci fi romance series...many of them with a holiday twist that can be enjoyed any time of the year! The four books included in this boxed set are: Built for a ...

The famished old lady swallows a bat, a ghost, an owl, a goblin, and other Halloween treats in this silly, Halloween take on the classic story.

Cassie Beckett’s life is anything but magical. With a wild younger sister, three unruly kids, and an absent husband, she’s really not looking forward to the witching month of October. At least the gorgeous, foggy Prince Edward Island is always quiet. That is, until the vampires arrive. As the creatures sink their teeth into Cassie’s tenuous grip on normalcy, she’s forced to come face-to-face with long–disregarded family secrets. The legacy gifts her with power, but also a lofty responsibility: rid the island of vampires, or let them win. (Both options suck, in more ways than one.)

Life is strange. But it’s never as strange as what Augie Doyle believes. When teens start vanishing from Hollowbrook High, Augie Doyle—resident horror nerd and amateur investigator—knows something isn’t right. Hollowbrook residence believes human trafficking has come to their small town, but Augie suspects something far more sinister. A new copper mine has brought an influx of jobs, families, and students. Augie isn’t sure if the newcomers can be trusted. His top suspects? His new neighbors, who burn things in their backyard long after everyone else has gone to bed. A creative way...

Carve out family time for this Halloween read perfect for young listeners! Kids can problem-solve with Nate, the world's greatest detective, using logical thinking to solve mysteries! It is Halloween night, and all the kids are dressed up to go trick-or-treating. But Nate's friend Rosamond needs his help. Her cat Little Hex is missing. Is he hiding, or is he lost? Nate and his trusty dog, Sludge, are on the case!

A brand new career…another dangerous ghosts after another, and spending Halloween in the land of a vampire! FREE on Kindle Unlimited! After a harrowing start to her new job with Quest Realty’s Haunted and Hexed Property Division, accidental witch Fio Valentine is less than eager to take on yet another daunting task. As if dealing with a woman-hating ghost wasn’t hard enough, now her boss Jack Adams wants her to uncover the mystery behind a series of incidents at Quest’s new development project. The sprawling construction site in San Bernardino will have parks, malls and theaters in ...

Andy's been a bit stressed, so Terry has decided the perfect way for them to relax is to head up to their new camping ground level for a much-needed holiday. But it turns out to be not quite as relaxing as Terry originally planned. Terry forgets to pack the tent and the food, their attempt at fishing ends in disaster, the spooky campfire stories are a little too spooky and then, to make matters worse, all of Andy’s fellow campers start mysteriously disappearing.

A big, black cat. A killer iguana. A creepy cemetery. Someone has died. And someone is missing. Can Rona find the common thread? And once she's found it, what will happen if she pulls it? Watch this Halloween caper unravel as Rona Gets the Creeps!

When a housewife is ready for her midlife crisis, but gets a new job as the Grand Master’s zombie executioner instead... Lucy Darnell is the perfect housewife until her son gets thrown out of school for lighting someone on fire. Her husband decides that their two boys need to go for a more disciplined school far away from her. Fine, that's great because while she was coming to terms with having no purpose in her life, she was marked by the Zombie Queen and will become a zombie unless she can get the help of an insane vampire to stay human and defeat the hungry hordes. Can she save her ...

Ghosts just want to have fun… FREE on Kindle Unlimited! As the new Mrs. Rowling, life is supposed to be easy for former FBI Special Assistant Amanda Meyer. Marriage to her drop dead gorgeous boss Rick is everything she dreamed of, unfortunately she can’t sleep, and she can’t even blame the ghost of his late stepmom Clara for popping up in the middle of the night with a tricky request. Someone staged mechanic Fynn’s death to look like a suicide, and now his unhappy ghost is keeping Clara and her dead friends awake all night. Proving he was murdered will keep the newlyweds hopping, ...

Sing along with Julia Donaldson and her latest collection of songs - fun for kids and parents alike. As well as being the UK's most successful picture book author, Julia Donaldson is a gifted songwriter for children. This volume includes nine of her best-loved songs. The songs will be familiar to anyone who has heard them on TV or radio, or enjoyed one of Julia's hugely popular live performances. All nine songs are sung by the author. Now everyone can sing along!

With Halloween approaching, Hank and his friends decide to watch a scary movie to get ready for the holiday. But the movie turns out to be a bit too scary for Hank, and suddenly he sees zombies every time he closes his eyes. Everyone says zombies aren’t real, but then people around him start moaning and acting like the undead, and he isn’t so sure. Hank isn’t taking any chances - not when there might be zombies on the loose!

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

After leaving the Sanguine Spa in pursuit of Edgaren't, the kids find themselves at a mysterious summer camp, Camp Creek. There are lake games and happy counselors, and there's even a tie-dye cabin. It's all very . . . normal. But if Theo and Alexander know one thing, it's that normal doesn't always mean good. When everyone around her starts acting strange, Theo wonders if maybe the fumes from the tie-dye cabin are seeping into their brains, and she resolves to investigate what's really going on at Camp Creek.

VHS Killed the LITRPG Star As a fan of everything 1980, 26-year-old Doug Simpson never had the chance to experience the decade. Working at a small-town video rental store, he dreams of being able to enter the horror king Rd Halen's movies and become the hero he has always dreamed about. Then he learns that his two friends working in the basement might just able to make that possible. FBI Special Agent Jenny Winters is looking for a career advancement, and taking down the suspected terrorist working at Vorhees Video may be able to do just that. Working undercover, Jenny is told of Doug's ...