Halloween Humor

Book one of the fantasy horror trilogy, with lashings of British humour. Philip awakes, naked and chained to the floor by wrist and ankle, in the ramshackle dwelling of a family of murderous inbreds. His only hope of rescue lies with Matilda, their hideously deformed and needy daughter, who lurks in the shadows in her bloodied wedding dress. But what will she require of him in return? Matilda has lived in the darkness all her life. Finally, an Outsider has appeared, a man who - with a little good-natured prodding - can save her from her brutal father and show her what life is like outside ...

Cassie Beckett’s life is anything but magical. With a wild younger sister, three unruly kids, and an absent husband, she’s really not looking forward to the witching month of October. At least the gorgeous, foggy Prince Edward Island is always quiet. That is, until the vampires arrive. As the creatures sink their teeth into Cassie’s tenuous grip on normalcy, she’s forced to come face-to-face with long–disregarded family secrets. The legacy gifts her with power, but also a lofty responsibility: rid the island of vampires, or let them win. (Both options suck, in more ways than one.)

Not many people can see the dead (and not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the members of the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead aren't going to take it lying down - especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were...well...alive. Particularly if they break a few rules.

Can you hear the distant howling of hounds and the thunder of ghostly hooves? It's All Souls' Eve and Zamiel the Demon Huntsman has come to claim his prey! He's headed straight for Castle Karlstein, where the evil count has hatched an evil plan; he'll sacrifice his two young nieces to save himself. Can Lucy and Charlotte outwit their uncle and his oily henchmen to escape their dreadful fate?

The Capulets and the Montagues have some deep and essential differences. Blood differences. Of course, the Capulets can escape their vampire fate, and the Montagues can try not to kill their undead enemies. But at the end of the day, their blood feud is unstoppable. So it's really quite a problem when Juliet, a vampire-to-be, and Romeo, the human who should be hunting her, fall desperately in love. What they don't realize is how deadly their love will turn out to be - or what it will mean for their afterlives....

HALLOWEEN AT THE FARM unleashes hijinks, horror, happiness and heavenly memories. Dried cornstalks beneath a full yellow moon. Glowing jack o’lanterns. The smell of wood smoke trailing crisp autumn air. Witches riding broomsticks. Ghosts and skeletons dangling from trees. Mischief and mayhem. Pumpkins, pranks, phantoms, goblins, ghouls and other specters in the night. The often tranquil farm bursts alive with adventure, fun, fear and sometimes even a wandering devil each October. Revisit the “good old days” on the farm where those lucky enough to have lived in the country recall: 1. A...

Decimus Croome is a dastardly curmudgeon who hates all holidays but especially despises Halloween. He is content to live in his gloomy old house and avoid all human contact whenever possible. He even shuns his own daughter and grandson. But Croome's life changes one memorable Halloween when four ghastly spirits visit him to reveal the misery he has inflicted upon his friends, neighbors, and family members. Based on A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, The Legend of Decimus Croome is bound to become a Halloween classic for listeners of all ages.

Passion, heat, and love across an ocean of time… Jack Love is a man stuck in the past. But with the arrival in 1987 of his modern-day raven-haired buxom beauty, Emily Gilbert, Jack’s fortune may finally be changing. But with Emily’s arrival comes some unwanted news from Jack’s future. The lithe and perky, Summer Shepard, and Emily came back to the past to save Jack from his own future death. Now the race is on to save Emily from vanishing into thin air before one hot and steamy Halloween night. But Emily isn’t Jack’s only problem. Jack must find a way to save the smoking-hot, ...

What silently waits in the shadows at night? What's under your bed, keeping just out of sight? Do you ever hear strange, creaking noises at night? Ever wonder what makes those noises? Lucy Dungston always did. Until, one morning, Lucy discovers that all the grown-ups have disappeared - as if into thin air. Chaos descends as the children in Lucy's town run riot. It's mayhem. It's madness. To most kids, it's amazing!

Beware of this hysterical and stinky adventure in Monster Crap! In the silly little town, where pumpkins glow, and Halloween parties come alive, a wild gathering of teenage monsters is in full swing. A full moon shines bright on this Halloween night as the monsters feast on too many treats.

A.J. and his friends are having a sleepover in the playground by Ella Mentry School. There’s a campfire with plenty of yummy marshmallows, weird songs, and twinkling stars—what could be better? Ryan, Alexia, Michael, Andrea, Neil, Emily, and A.J. each get a turn to make up a silly, scary story. But what’s that lurking in the woods? Could it be some kind of weird monster? Did the kids’ creepy tales awaken something truly terrifying?

Kids will love our Halloween jokes and stories and have them “SCREAMing” for more spooktacular fun! When is it bad luck to meet a black cat? What instrument does a skeleton like to play? What fruit does a vampire like to eat? Find out in our “Not-So-Scary” Halloween adventure. Kids will meet Liz and Billy and find out why they think have a spooky tree in their yard, and then listen to an adorable story, “Maxine and the Ghost Dog.” Silly jokes and captivating stories will get kids excited for Halloween.

Captain Harry Morgan is Rocket Man, an experimental pilot enlisted to fly a new device that gives man the ability to fly through the air. During World War Two during its last days, Hitler planned to send missiles raining down on America with nuclear warheads. Harry is sent to stop it. But the new device he wears glitches, and he is sent into an alternate timeline, where Hitler has won the war. Now, Harry, after attempting to return home for once and all, finds that his suit glitches yet again and flings him into an alternate timeline, where Doctor Zombie has created a world about to be ...

Back in 1979, when Solomon Zuch and Delphyne Shea were in high school, they shared an intense, romantic liaison on Halloween night. It became one of Solomon's most treasured memories. Twenty years later, Solomon is the married manager of the All Hallows' Eve Shoppe, a pop-up store that reopens every year to sell Halloween supplies to customers in north Columbus, Ohio. Delphyne Shadow, as she is now popularly known, calls herself the Madonna of the Underworld, and every year she hosts the most infamous Halloween party in town, the Nightmare Bash.

Bearland Tales Boxed Set Books 1-3 invites you into a world where gay bears live their best lives, exploring love, friendship, and self-discovery. In this captivating collection, you'll encounter three heartfelt stories. Rough Cut Chris Hodak, a former college football defensive lineman, has carried a secret crush on his hunky teammate Rohan Moore for twenty years. When they reunite, Chris finds Rohan as a proud, out-and-proud bear who owns a barber shop catering to bears. The lingering spark between them ignites when Chris sits in Rohan's chair, but to win back Rohan's heart, Chris must ...

No one knows Fancy like Nancy - and no one knows Halloween like Nancy....

Get ready to laugh aloud with these Halloween-themed jokes and riddles! One hundred and one hilarious jokes will have you smiling and the riddles will have you thinking. It’s the perfect entertainment for you or your kids when you are at home, or if you’re taking a long car ride, or if you’re throwing a Halloween party! Whatever the reason, this book is for you!

Oliver was always a jerk. Now that he’s dead, he’s downright terrifying. Augie Doyle eats, sleeps, and breathes horror. Vampires? Real. Werewolves? Absolutely. Zombies? Don’t get him started. His best friend, Ethan, thinks it’s all nonsense—until Oliver Hackl shows up to school. Five days ago, Oliver fell off the Old Mill Bridge and broke his neck. The paramedics pronounced him dead. Now he’s back. Pale. Slow. Wrong. Augie’s convinced it’s the zombie apocalypse. Ethan’s sure there’s a logical explanation. Then Oliver’s friends start dropping like flies. One vanishes, ...

The Joke King is back with another hilarious joke audiobook full of funny, laugh-out-loud, crazy comedy, and massive assortment of Halloween jokes for children of all ages, teens, and adults. This awesome joke book for kids is easy to listen to and full of laughs. After a few jokes, you will be rolling on the floor laughing. This massive collection of 100+ Halloween jokes is one of the funniest collections in the world! These jokes about monsters, ghosts, vampires, werewolves, witches, zombies, and other Halloween ghouls of all shapes and sizes will make make you go wild with laughter

When the henhouse becomes haunted by a ghost, it's up to one brave chicken named Carmenella to get to the bottom of things. The farmer doesn’t understand her, and the cat doesn’t want to get involved. Carmenella wants to sleep in the nice warm henhouse instead of outside. What will she do to fix this dilemma?