Halloween Humor

The Capulets and the Montagues have some deep and essential differences. Blood differences. Of course, the Capulets can escape their vampire fate, and the Montagues can try not to kill their undead enemies. But at the end of the day, their blood feud is unstoppable. So it's really quite a problem when Juliet, a vampire-to-be, and Romeo, the human who should be hunting her, fall desperately in love. What they don't realize is how deadly their love will turn out to be - or what it will mean for their afterlives....

Passion, heat, and love across an ocean of time… Jack Love is a man stuck in the past. But with the arrival in 1987 of his modern-day raven-haired buxom beauty, Emily Gilbert, Jack’s fortune may finally be changing. But with Emily’s arrival comes some unwanted news from Jack’s future. The lithe and perky, Summer Shepard, and Emily came back to the past to save Jack from his own future death. Now the race is on to save Emily from vanishing into thin air before one hot and steamy Halloween night. But Emily isn’t Jack’s only problem. Jack must find a way to save the smoking-hot, ...

Four complete stories enhanced by Miranda Richardson's award-winning reading and really horrid music and effects: Horrid Henry encounters the babysitter from hell, traumatises his parents on a car journey, goes trick-or-treating at Halloween and sabotages his school project. Four stories, as brilliant and inventive as ever. This audiobook includes the following stories: 'Horrid Henry Tricks and Treats', 'Horrid Henry and the Bogey Babysitter', 'Horrid Henry's Raid' and 'Horrid Henry's Car Journey.'

Goose was an exceptionally kind, open, honest, and understanding gentleman of the finest caliber. His natural charisma and charm is well-known. At the Saturday night campfires in the woods he was a magical performer, pretending to play a banjo with an old tennis racket. Goose would remain an important figure in my life when, years later, he became one of the premier artists on my fledgling label Samba Records wherein we recorded many original very popular CDs, now audiobooks, of his wonderful children’s stories and songs.

Not many people can see the dead (and not many would want to). Twelve-year-old Johnny Maxwell can. And he's got bad news for them: the members of the council want to sell the cemetery as a building site. But the dead aren't going to take it lying down - especially since it's Halloween tomorrow. Besides, they're beginning to find that life is a lot more fun than it was when they were...well...alive. Particularly if they break a few rules.

Celebrate this Halloween with this massive collection of funny and spooky jokes for children of all ages! This is the perfect Halloween gift!

Back in 1979, when Solomon Zuch and Delphyne Shea were in high school, they shared an intense, romantic liaison on Halloween night. It became one of Solomon's most treasured memories. Twenty years later, Solomon is the married manager of the All Hallows' Eve Shoppe, a pop-up store that reopens every year to sell Halloween supplies to customers in north Columbus, Ohio. Delphyne Shadow, as she is now popularly known, calls herself the Madonna of the Underworld, and every year she hosts the most infamous Halloween party in town, the Nightmare Bash.

A.J. and his friends are having a sleepover in the playground by Ella Mentry School. There’s a campfire with plenty of yummy marshmallows, weird songs, and twinkling stars—what could be better? Ryan, Alexia, Michael, Andrea, Neil, Emily, and A.J. each get a turn to make up a silly, scary story. But what’s that lurking in the woods? Could it be some kind of weird monster? Did the kids’ creepy tales awaken something truly terrifying?

It’s the end of the world as she knows it! Thirteen-year-old Kelly Ferguson’s secret life as a monster-hunting babysitter is taking a beastly turn. Now she has to go on a rescue mission to Monster Island - where monster royalty is turning kids into hairy mutant monsters! To pull it off, she’ll have to face off against internet trolls, trash monsters, and her fear of screwing up - plus the biggest, baddest Boogey of all. With the fate of humanity on the line, can Kelly save the kids, the world, and her own social life before the big school dance?

It's just another day at the office for world-famous superhero Doctor Extraordinary as he battles his arch-nemesis Captain Chaos in yet another epic showdown. Unfortunately, this one doesn't quite go to plan, and they both get blown up inside a giant robot. Dr Ex's number one fan, 12-year-old Sonny Nelson, is devastated. A world without heroes is totally rubbish! But things take an even more extraordinary turn when Doctor Ex returns as a ghost and only Sonny can see him.

Decimus Croome is a dastardly curmudgeon who hates all holidays but especially despises Halloween. He is content to live in his gloomy old house and avoid all human contact whenever possible. He even shuns his own daughter and grandson. But Croome's life changes one memorable Halloween when four ghastly spirits visit him to reveal the misery he has inflicted upon his friends, neighbors, and family members. Based on A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, The Legend of Decimus Croome is bound to become a Halloween classic for listeners of all ages.

Kids will love our Halloween jokes and stories and have them “SCREAMing” for more spooktacular fun! When is it bad luck to meet a black cat? What instrument does a skeleton like to play? What fruit does a vampire like to eat? Find out in our “Not-So-Scary” Halloween adventure. Kids will meet Liz and Billy and find out why they think have a spooky tree in their yard, and then listen to an adorable story, “Maxine and the Ghost Dog.” Silly jokes and captivating stories will get kids excited for Halloween.

After a run-in with the scariest street cat in the Big City, fox cub siblings Ted and Nancy flee for Grimwood, expecting to find refuge in the peaceful countryside. Instead, they are met with thieving eagles, dramatic ducks, riotous rabbits and an absurd game called Treebonk! While Ted quickly falls in love with his wacky new neighbours, Nancy thinks they’re all bonkers. But she soon discovers that, as kooky they are, the animals of Grimwood always look out for each other. Now Nancy must ask herself an important question: yes, Grimwood may be weird, but could it also be...home?

Amelia and her friends are taking part in a competition to visit Pumpkin Paradise Park - the most bloodcurding theme park ever! All they have to do is sell as many cookies as possible. But the creatures of Nocturnia have begun to act stranger than usual...no one can seem to remember anything - including their own names or even Amelia's big birthnight party! Where have everyone's memories gone? And how can Amelia save them when they have all forgotten who she is?

Bearland Tales Boxed Set Books 1-3 invites you into a world where gay bears live their best lives, exploring love, friendship, and self-discovery. In this captivating collection, you'll encounter three heartfelt stories. Rough Cut Chris Hodak, a former college football defensive lineman, has carried a secret crush on his hunky teammate Rohan Moore for twenty years. When they reunite, Chris finds Rohan as a proud, out-and-proud bear who owns a barber shop catering to bears. The lingering spark between them ignites when Chris sits in Rohan's chair, but to win back Rohan's heart, Chris must ...

Halloween pranks should be harmless. Unless you accidentally kidnap a vampire. Back in college, Bob "Ironspell" Ironspell-Cabas and his buddy Droid thought releasing a horde of bats in vampire territory would be the perfect Halloween joke. After all, Droid is an exterminator—it should’ve been simple. But when the prank goes sideways, they realize they’ve accidentally captured a real vampire along with the flying rodents. And that’s just the beginning. Now, zombies are rising, vampires are hunting, and Ironspell just spotted the girl of his dreams—unfortunately, she’s under a ...

He’s just the demon to bring out her magic powers… Raised as a “normal”, it was easy for Jane to forget that she came from a long line of witches. Her mother always told her that the magic skipped their branch of the family tree but lately Jane’s starting to wonder if that’s really true. Her fortieth birthday is coming up on Halloween, and a lot of really weird things have been happening. A black cat starts following her around. She pictures her ex-boyfriend as a toad and suddenly he’s croaking and eating flies. Oh, and there’s the pesky little problem of accidentally ...

What silently waits in the shadows at night? What's under your bed, keeping just out of sight? Do you ever hear strange, creaking noises at night? Ever wonder what makes those noises? Lucy Dungston always did. Until, one morning, Lucy discovers that all the grown-ups have disappeared - as if into thin air. Chaos descends as the children in Lucy's town run riot. It's mayhem. It's madness. To most kids, it's amazing!

Today is Halloween, and Nancy can't wait to collect candy from each house she visits. But it's hard to leave all those delectable treats in her pumpkin pail. Is there such a thing as too much candy?

Uh oh! A librarian has left the window open, and now it’s time for fun-loving bats of all ages to fly in for a night in the stacks. Bats at the Library is a recipient of starred reviews from both Publishers Weekly and Horn Book Magazine.