Funny Urban

‘Are you saying,’ Commander Hubbert demanded, ‘that a pack of dinosaurs have our vessel?’ I shrugged. ‘That seems to be the best explanation. The nessies have the submarine.’ Heartbreak. And I thought I’d already had more than my full share. Even the wonders of the magical country of Lloegyr can’t entirely dull the pain. The company of Raven might help, but the dragon has gone to a monastery to fight the influence of the Noble Leader’s spirit. But there’s little time to grieve. A dead merwoman has turned up in a killer whale’s pool. The Archdruid wants me to find a ...

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

Betrayed by a Valkyrie. Surrounded by Fallen Angels. Breaking into a dungeon. Definitely not his best plan. Bob "Ironspell" Ironspell-Cabas thought rescuing Fenrir, the Wolf of Ragnarok, would be difficult—but he didn’t expect one of his own friends to sell him out. Now, he’s been served up as a sacrificial offering to the Watchers—ruthless fallen angels with their own apocalyptic agenda. But Ironspell doesn’t go down easy. After an unexpected escape, he’s faced with an impossible choice: walk away and let fate take its course, or break into a dungeon, defy the Norse pantheon, ...

Heaven wants Lucifer found. Ironspell would rather pass. But some deals don’t come with an exit strategy. Ironspell never intended to become the last Templar, but now Heaven has a job for him: find Lucifer. The Devil has abandoned Hell and set his sights on the White House, hiding in the one place no angel dares step foot—the Enchanted Forest, a virtual reality world brimming with dangers that defy logic. Ironspell is the only one of Heaven’s agents who will dare its dangers, and unfortunately, turning down the mission isn’t an option. Three things stand in his way: ✔ His Guardian...

A new drug called "Pixie Dust" is sweeping the streets of Tirnanogue, and it's up to Frotwoot to stop it. The only problem is, he still doesn't know how to use a sword. Or fly. Or... Okay, maybe there's more than just one problem

She Summoned a Demon for Fun... Now Her Love Life's a Hot Mess! Wendy never asked for a demon in her life. But after one too many drinks and a dare from her best friend, Jules, she found herself summoning Sitri—a charming, witty Goetic demon of love and lust—on a full moon night. Now, she’s got a supernatural problem that won’t let her off the hook, and the clock’s ticking before she’s cursed or completely spellbound. As Wendy tries to navigate the chaos of unintentional magic and passionate encounters, Sitri makes it clear: he’s here to fulfill her deepest desires. But when ...

When murder crashes his vacation, can a techie in paradise still catch some waves while snaring a killer? Marty Golden is ready to kick back at the beach. When his neighbor offers free rooms in Hawaii, the software engineer is quick to round up his girlfriend, sister, and nieces for the luau of a lifetime. But his arrival at the resort turns his sun-filled hopes into hunches about homicide after he encounters a very deceased and inconvenient body. Pressured into helping, a grudging Marty uses his sharp attention to detail to hone in on a crucial clue missed by the police. But his half-...

After hundreds of years as a vampire, Francis is ready to start over. The first step? Buy a ranch. Next? Hire ranch hands. Unfortunately, none of the supernatural community wants to work with a vampire, and Francis doesn't trust himself with a human. Francis finds Lauren and Shelly, a pair of were-squirrels eager to start. Lauren is on the run, fleeing from a dangerous ex-boyfriend who won't leave her alone. Her twin sister Shelly joined her on the Edwards ranch. To the sisters' surprise, they like working for the kooky vampire who wants to be human. When Lauren's ex finds them, will anyone...

In HodgePodge, best-selling author Robert Urban once again shows his mastery of blending his authenticity, irreverent humor, brilliance and unique perspective to create a book about the realities of life. Robert shares his most intimate sometimes uproarious, sometimes tragic, but always poignant experiences and thoughts about parenting, death, god, groupies, dating, drug addiction and other topics. Critics have described this book as an "R rated version of Chicken Soup for the Soul".

“Spiritual-ish: City Girl Stuck in a Jungle Retreat” is a laugh-out-loud romantic comedy where cynicism meets ceremony, and sarcasm collides with self-discovery. When Talia — a city girl with a designer wardrobe, a ‘perfect’ boyfriend, and zero patience for nonsense — ends up in a South American jungle retreat, the last thing she expects is a shaman-led ayahuasca ceremony, wild spiritual insights… or the reappearance of her long-lost first love. Between sacred rituals, questionable jungle cuisine, and one seriously sexy blast from her past, Talia’s about to find that ...

The Terraist Letters is the ultimate archontic allegory set in the nuclear age. Who is Sean Enstitue? Sean Enstitue has gone by many names, and Sean believes he is the world's last chance. Sean lives on the last street, off of the last stop of The A train, in the last apartment building, and on the last corner in Manhattan, on 218th Street. He has lived in Inwood, by Washington Heights, for his whole life. Sean believes that nuclear experimentation is destroying the atmosphere, causing global warming, negatively impacting the health of life on the entire planet, and because of what he knows...

Rael Armstrong is an apprentice to a hunter of the Order. Hunters have one mission in life: to vanquish evil beings from other planes of reality. Normally, it’s very exciting work, but Rael’s current mission feels a little on the dull side. She’s been tasked with watching a suspect, and that’s it—just watching. It is a dull task until an unlikely visitor shows up to talk with her suspect. It couldn’t hurt to do a little less watching and a lot more following of this visitor to see what he’s up to, right? Well, it wouldn’t hurt unless this visitor was something really ...

Day three on the force, and already facing a dragon. Bob "Ironspell" Ironspell-Cabas is a rookie officer in the Denver Police Department Supernatural Unit (DPDS), still figuring out the ropes when his mentor decides to take him on a "simple training exercise" at the Denver Zoo. It should’ve been routine. Instead? A deranged sorcerer has unleashed a rampaging dragon from the Supernatural exhibit, The Magical Zoo, and taken hostages—threatening to feed them to the werewolves in the Lycanthrope House. There’s just one problem—Ironspell isn’t exactly a wizard. He’s more of an ...

From the Bestselling Author P.S. Power, comes the thrilling novel of one girl's journey into the darkness of the supernatural. When Keeley transfers to a new school, she expects the same old drama that comes with any high school. But when she meets Darla Gibson, popular and seemingly up to no good, Keeley soon finds herself in a battle with forces beyond her wildest imagination. As Keeley discovers the terrible secrets that Darla and her friends are hiding, she must summon the courage to face the darkness lurking beneath the surface of her new school. With her life and the lives of her ...

Fantastic possibilities and terrible consequences. When her job interview goes down in flames, archaeologist Dr. Arienne Cerasola makes a desperate decision to get her life back on track. Returning to the thing that wrecked her life in the first place isn’t rational, but magic is the only option she has. To find a legendary healing tree and save her friends, Ari must outsmart magic practitioners way more talented and prepared than she is. Can she beat the competition to the prize, or is another magical disaster inevitable? Elementary Magic is the first book in R. Leonia Shea’s urban ...

Saskia de la Cruz is a verity witch and investigative reporter for The Blood Web Chronicle, the biggest news outlet on the paranormal Blood Web. After escaping murderous vampires in snowy Moscow, Saskia can't imagine a more difficult or more dangerous mission. That is, until her editor sends her to Barcelona to investigate a high profile disappearance at the Mage Association, which just happens to be run by her evil mother Solina.

Rael is an apprentice to a hunter of the Order. Hunters have one mission in life, and that’s to vanquish evil beings from other planes of reality that want to conquer our plane—demons, devils, and the like. However, Rael’s current mission isn’t as difficult as all that. Rael and her mentor are in New York City with the goal of finding a few missing children. With not even a hint of demons around, how hard could that task be? It gets a touch more difficult when Rael herself is kidnapped. Her kidnappers don’t even desire a ransom in return for her; instead they want her to find ...

Title: "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid" Dumb and Dumber Meets the Three Stooges... Amateur cartoon trailer here: https://youtu.be/oE1t03nOej8 Get ready for a wild ride of laughter and chaos with "The Dead-End Gang vs the Alien Nazis!: Outrageous, Offensive, and Savage Stupid"! Meet Phuk, Blue, Dick, and Alice—a quirky foster family bound by their outrageous personalities and united by their mission to save the world from Nazi aliens. Phuk: The hot-headed Vietnamese telemarketer with a knack for martial arts and an explosive temper. Blue: ...

The Griffin Moonstone: Book Three of The Moonstone Legacy Series Some days it doesn't pay to be the hero. Consumed by grief and revenge, Noah can't remember what a shower feels like. When the Estonian Coven plasters his face on wanted posters, Castle Dragon hides him away in the enchanted Cromwell Forest. Tricked into solving a ghost's murder, Noah finds himself on a quest to unravel the mystery of the Griffin Moonstone. Just another day in the life of a probationary apprentice wizard who can't keep his mouth shut. Jesse tracks him down—goodbye, secret hideout—with a crazy plan to enter...

She’s just a girl with a dog-shaped magical parolee. How did she end up having to search for a serial killer? Gillian Sternbach is used to being overlooked. As the granddaughter of a famous, and dangerously-powerful, witch, she didn’t actually end up with much magic besides the ability to see and interact with ghosts, which often feels more like a curse than a blessing. Still, she’s fine with her life as a parole officer for the Magical Council, looking after some of the less-dangerous magical miscreants, such as her current full-time charge, George, who’s rather mouthy for a man ...