Funny Urban

A daemon’s honor. A sorcerer’s cruelty. And a betrayal that could shatter the world. Tuzren was content on his home plane of Onoys—until Faust summoned him. Now, trapped between two timelines that refuse to sync, Tuzren finds his life unraveling in ways he never expected. But Earth isn’t much better. Bound by sorcerous compulsion, Tuzren must obey Faust’s every command—or endure unbearable pain. Yet unlike most daemons, Tuzren has a code of honor. Of sorts. And Faust? He just crossed the line. There’s a limit to what a daemon will endure, and betrayal comes with a price. As ...

The school secretary has a sharp tongue but is she a killer? Can Marty do the math or will he get schooled by a criminal mastermind? Marty Golden is frazzled. Struggling to juggle nieces, a rambunctious dog, a demanding job, and a serious relationship, the software engineer is never quite sure whether he’s coming or going. But when his nemesis begs for help after she’s accused of offing the school principal, the amateur sleuth agrees to hunt down the real culprit. Confounded to discover the cantankerous woman stood to take the dead man’s position, he strives to find anyone who could ...

Alba is about to lose everything during an awful divorce...until she meets the Vampires of Emberbury, who dwell under an abandoned graveyard, stuck in Victorian times. They will make her a very interesting job offer, and she will get to meet Clarence, a mysterious vampire gentleman who thinks cloaks and top hats are still in fashion. With his help, Alba will figure out that, sometimes, the scariest monster isn’t the one with fangs.

When a foul-mouthed, pipe-smoking leprechaun named Peter O’Leprechaun storms into Samantha Moon’s PI office demanding help, Sam has no idea she’s about to be dragged into a weirdly heartfelt hunt for a missing pot of gold. But this isn’t just any treasure—it’s a magical key to riding rainbows around the world, and without it, Peter is stuck in Southern California indefinitely (much to Kingsley’s horror). Their search leads to shady pubs, hustled dart games, gold-crazed bartenders, and a final, surprising deal that just might give a lost human bartender the life he’s always ...

Banished to the edge of the supernatural world and left to die. A hero rises. Hell’s savior. Its one great hope. Yep, that’s me. I fought back against Beelzebub, stood in the face of tyranny, and even stopped murder and mayhem. No good deeds go unpunished. Immortal no longer, I’m in a fight for my life, and Hell’s leaders have handed the cheat codes to my enemies. Beelzebub wants to get even. And my magical halberd still refuses to grant me the power I’ll need to win the day. Decision time. Lie down and accept my fate, or punch death in the face? Libra is the key. He’s mapped ...

He’s determined to prove his friend innocent of homicide. He may make things worse… When Marty’s surfer-dude pal is arrested for murder, he must squeeze his amateur sleuthing into his packed schedule. With his high-tech job busier than ever and his nieces’ antics sidetracking him, Marty’s ready for a Thanksgiving holiday. All he has to do is solve two murders. But if he can’t even convince his sister to bake his favorite chocolate pie, how can he hope to save his friend? With the help of his girlfriend, some wacky coworkers and Buddy the rambunctious Labrador, Marty sets out to ...

Satire master Robert Urban ups the ante in his most recent book sharing his unique perspective about life, love and of course a little cheddar biscuit we all love. Filled with deep thoughts juxtaposed by one-liners, hysterical anecdotes, tangential thoughts and edgy, absurd humor this book is meant to give people who don't take themselves too seriously a rapid fire delivery of humor in only the way Robert can.

This collection of humorous short essays combines affection for the timeless values of community life in an English village with a nostalgia for aspects that are quietly slipping away. Easy to dip into, this light-hearted volume provides entertaining reading for anyone interested in modern English rural community life, wherever they live. Written between 1991 and 2015, most of these essays first appeared in the Hawkesbury Parish News, the community newspaper for Hawkesbury Upton, the Cotswold village in which Debbie Young has lived for the last 25 years. Very active in village life, she is ...

She Summoned a Demon for Fun... Now Her Love Life's a Hot Mess! Wendy never asked for a demon in her life. But after one too many drinks and a dare from her best friend, Jules, she found herself summoning Sitri—a charming, witty Goetic demon of love and lust—on a full moon night. Now, she’s got a supernatural problem that won’t let her off the hook, and the clock’s ticking before she’s cursed or completely spellbound. As Wendy tries to navigate the chaos of unintentional magic and passionate encounters, Sitri makes it clear: he’s here to fulfill her deepest desires. But when ...

Raven changed direction, flying us towards the town. The helicopter followed suit, tracking us from around a hundred feet away. Wind from the whirling rotor blades blew my hair around my face. I flinched as a voice blared through loudspeakers. ‘Enemy combatant, land now!’ The dragon reared into a hover. ‘I’m not your enemy! And I recommend you don’t make me into one!’ The time I’ve spent away from Lloegyr has given me time to make some important decisions, but now I have to face the consequences. Marrying Raven has certainly complicated my relationship with the Church and ...

When Samantha Moon gets a late-night visit from Max—the 500-year-old alchemist who runs the Light Warrior Academy—she’s expecting talk of demons or cosmic threats. Instead, he shows her a silver hammer that mysteriously appeared in his hand after meditation. Worse, he’s gripped by a terrifying compulsion: to kill three victims, just like the lyrics of the old Beatles song. But murder isn’t on Sam’s agenda. Together with Max and her telepathic daughter, she hunts for the real target: not innocent people, but something much worse stirring in local cemeteries. Silver Hammer is a ...

A simple night on the town with Angie Mandarich is all Hal Bailey wants. Dinner and a movie. Hitchcock followed by the Forest City. A classy night with a classy lady. Hal doesn't know he's about to meet the nuttiest collection of con men, swindlers, safecrackers and hustlers this side of the Cuyahoga River. Their screwball plans make this a New Years for Hal to remember. Fans of Westlake, Leonard, and George V. Higgins will enjoy the pace and tone of this book's pitch-perfect dialogue. Cool, funny, sympathetic and gritty. A zany taste of Cleveland in the 80s.

In 1978 America is still licking its wounds from the Vietnam War, an impeached president and skyrocketing oil prices. The people of the country are suspicious, questioning their government at every turn, and it’s an environment allowing conspiracy theories to flourish. It shouldn’t be a surprise one of these theories parallels a long-standing enigma we typically laugh at when we see it – and we see it all too often. Specifically, we look in wonder at the people who not only have a complete ineptitude when using power tools, but we also fear for their lives when they do so. Ironically,...

What is a gnome to do in a gaming world filled with fake news? Cosmo never wanted to do anything more than build fantastical machines and spin gears. But, when the Evil Queen puts him in charge of the city paper he finds himself having to spin the news just to stay alive. Pipopolis is a city awash in change, the local economy struggling as dungeon diving has given way to exploration of an open world. A city where the lawful and good can be real jerks, and the evil are just trying to pay the bills.

Filius Thoreau, arch-benefit fraudster and jaunty raconteur, celebrates the silver anniversary of his induction into the world of the workshy with his candid, but not too candid, autobiography in which he celebrates the unique and sinuous path he has steered through the minefield of work-obsessed modern Britain. From the dark days of the Poll Tax through the laissez-faire nineties to the ghastly government work schemes of the new millennium, Filius has marched onwards to the sound of his own personal drummer and constructed a uniquely apologist philosophy along the way.

Kendis – Hear no evil I was fired in front of a client for being late for a meeting. The client happens to be my dream-worthy one-night stand who I ditched. As despair sets in, he hires me. Although it happened in high school, Jason hasn’t forgiven me. He controls and owns the company. And anything he touches. Including me. Jason’s intense eyes watch me like he can see my secrets. I’m not immune to the way his chocolate muscles ripple. Electricity tickles my spine when he touches my hand. But we must work together and keep our hands and lips off each other. His words are dirtier ...

One lost bet, one pizza delivery, and zero clothing—sometimes academic failure has its rewards. When straight-A student Mackenzie loses a GPA competition to her roommates by a mere 0.01 points, the punishment is as mortifying as it is simple: answer the door for the pizza delivery wearing nothing but a towel—and then drop it. It's just a quick flash, she tells herself. A momentary humiliation she'll never have to think about again. Until Jake shows up at her door. Jake isn't just any delivery guy—he's a classmate she's been secretly crushing on for months. He’s the last person on ...

“The Best Book Ever Written” is a collection of short first person perspective stories and thoughts. With chapters in his new book like "Studies Show It Do Be Like That Sometime"; STEM (Shenanigans, Tomfoolery, Escapades, and Mischief); Please Watch Out For Flying Saucers and Skanks; and several others, Urban takes ordinary situations and experiences and flips them inside out to force readers to change perspective with often hilarious results. _____________________________ Robert Urban is back and better than ever! He once again throws caution to the wind and mixes his popular brazen ...

This book was previously published as "The Billionaire Gets Punished" by Reba Bale He needs relief from his stress, and he’ll find it over another man’s knee! Billionaire Robert Gregory is cracking under the pressure of running his equity investment company. Suffering from crippling anxiety attacks, his therapist suggests something unconventional: Spanking Therapy. An old-fashioned bare-bottomed spanking from the alpha Dr. John will allow Robert to let go and allow someone else to be in control for once. But when the older doctor’s strict punishment arouses Robert, he finds himself ...

From the bestselling author of Bitches Love Cheddar Biscuits, My Roller Coaster Life and HodgePodge comes a deeply relatable book filled with humorous stories about life and the people we meet in it. From events familiar to all of us-like a bad breakup- to the wilder stories of Chinese women drugging him or interactions with carnival workers, nuns and even the Devil himself, Robert Urban keeps you captivated and laughing out loud as he brings you along the journey of his hilarious and thought provoking recollections of various events in his life.