Funny Urban

From the bestselling author of Bitches Love Cheddar Biscuits, My Roller Coaster Life and HodgePodge comes a deeply relatable book filled with humorous stories about life and the people we meet in it. From events familiar to all of us-like a bad breakup- to the wilder stories of Chinese women drugging him or interactions with carnival workers, nuns and even the Devil himself, Robert Urban keeps you captivated and laughing out loud as he brings you along the journey of his hilarious and thought provoking recollections of various events in his life.

This book was previously published as "The Billionaire Gets Punished" by Reba Bale He needs relief from his stress, and he’ll find it over another man’s knee! Billionaire Robert Gregory is cracking under the pressure of running his equity investment company. Suffering from crippling anxiety attacks, his therapist suggests something unconventional: Spanking Therapy. An old-fashioned bare-bottomed spanking from the alpha Dr. John will allow Robert to let go and allow someone else to be in control for once. But when the older doctor’s strict punishment arouses Robert, he finds himself ...

A new drug called "Pixie Dust" is sweeping the streets of Tirnanogue, and it's up to Frotwoot to stop it. The only problem is, he still doesn't know how to use a sword. Or fly. Or... Okay, maybe there's more than just one problem

Mordak isn't bad as far as goblin kings go, but when someone - or something - starts pumping gold into the human kingdoms, it puts his rule in serious jeopardy. Suddenly he's locked in an arms race with a species whose arms he once considered merely part of a calorie-controlled diet. Helped by an elf with a background in journalism and a master's degree in being really pleased with herself, Mordak sets out to discover what on Earth (if indeed, that's where he is) is going on.

The Terraist Letters is the ultimate archontic allegory set in the nuclear age. Who is Sean Enstitue? Sean Enstitue has gone by many names, and Sean believes he is the world's last chance. Sean lives on the last street, off of the last stop of The A train, in the last apartment building, and on the last corner in Manhattan, on 218th Street. He has lived in Inwood, by Washington Heights, for his whole life. Sean believes that nuclear experimentation is destroying the atmosphere, causing global warming, negatively impacting the health of life on the entire planet, and because of what he knows...

Girls like her don’t get guys like him… CPA Jenny Carman is tired of playing by the rules. It didn't get her the promotion she deserved, and it certainly didn't get her Mr. Right. Or even Mr. Right now. It's time to do something besides spend Saturday nights at the Laundromat. To bolster her courage, she invents an alter ego—Jasmine, a quirky hairdresser. Visiting a sports bar with a friend, she meets gorgeous businessman Robert Marshall. Robert is smart, funny, sensitive and mesmerized by Jasmine. One lie leads to another, plunging Jenny/Jasmine in way over her head. She can't keep ...

A daemon’s honor. A sorcerer’s cruelty. And a betrayal that could shatter the world. Tuzren was content on his home plane of Onoys—until Faust summoned him. Now, trapped between two timelines that refuse to sync, Tuzren finds his life unraveling in ways he never expected. But Earth isn’t much better. Bound by sorcerous compulsion, Tuzren must obey Faust’s every command—or endure unbearable pain. Yet unlike most daemons, Tuzren has a code of honor. Of sorts. And Faust? He just crossed the line. There’s a limit to what a daemon will endure, and betrayal comes with a price. As ...

Born of frost and exile, Vetr has one last chance to prove himself—or lose everything. Vetr—also known as Winter—is the son of Frost Giant nobility, but he’s never fit the mold of a proper Jotun. Labeled a failure by his own kind, he’s spent his life enduring ridicule and abuse, knowing he’ll never live up to their brutal expectations. When he finally walks away, Vetr sets out to forge his own path, seeking the family connections that might give him a future beyond exile. But the Jotun don’t let go easily. He’s given an impossible challenge: embrace the Frost giant he was ...

Krampus is on the move. Santa needs backup. And Hel’s gates are waiting. Children are vanishing, snatched from their beds by Krampus, the monstrous spirit of Yuletide punishment. But this time, the stakes are bigger than just holiday mischief—Krampus is enacting a sinister plan, and if Ironspell and Vetr don’t stop him, Christmas might never be the same. When Santa himself makes an unscheduled stop to ask for their help, Ironspell and his Jotun partner must journey into Hel, navigating the underworld’s treacherous paths to gain entrance to Krampus’ stronghold. But nothing in Hel ...

Is thirty years too long to wait for a second chance? High school best friends Sara and Sofia had always been inseparable, but neither of them knew that they were hiding a secret attraction. The girls lost touch after graduation, but thirty years later, they run into each other in a coffee shop, and it’s love at first sight. Or second sight, anyway. They’re both too old to fall this fast, but they don’t want to waste any more time. After years of being single, Sara and Sofia are about to find out that true love was worth waiting for – and their first love can also be their last. “...

Rael Armstrong is an apprentice to a hunter of the Order. Hunters have one mission in life: to vanquish evil beings from other planes of reality. Normally, it’s very exciting work, but Rael’s current mission feels a little on the dull side. She’s been tasked with watching a suspect, and that’s it—just watching. It is a dull task until an unlikely visitor shows up to talk with her suspect. It couldn’t hurt to do a little less watching and a lot more following of this visitor to see what he’s up to, right? Well, it wouldn’t hurt unless this visitor was something really ...

In HodgePodge, best-selling author Robert Urban once again shows his mastery of blending his authenticity, irreverent humor, brilliance and unique perspective to create a book about the realities of life. Robert shares his most intimate sometimes uproarious, sometimes tragic, but always poignant experiences and thoughts about parenting, death, god, groupies, dating, drug addiction and other topics. Critics have described this book as an "R rated version of Chicken Soup for the Soul".

“The Best Book Ever Written” is a collection of short first person perspective stories and thoughts. With chapters in his new book like "Studies Show It Do Be Like That Sometime"; STEM (Shenanigans, Tomfoolery, Escapades, and Mischief); Please Watch Out For Flying Saucers and Skanks; and several others, Urban takes ordinary situations and experiences and flips them inside out to force readers to change perspective with often hilarious results. _____________________________ Robert Urban is back and better than ever! He once again throws caution to the wind and mixes his popular brazen ...

Fantastic possibilities and terrible consequences. When her job interview goes down in flames, archaeologist Dr. Arienne Cerasola makes a desperate decision to get her life back on track. Returning to the thing that wrecked her life in the first place isn’t rational, but magic is the only option she has. To find a legendary healing tree and save her friends, Ari must outsmart magic practitioners way more talented and prepared than she is. Can she beat the competition to the prize, or is another magical disaster inevitable? Elementary Magic is the first book in R. Leonia Shea’s urban ...

Rael is an apprentice to a hunter of the Order. Hunters have one mission in life, and that’s to vanquish evil beings from other planes of reality that want to conquer our plane—demons, devils, and the like. However, Rael’s current mission isn’t as difficult as all that. Rael and her mentor are in New York City with the goal of finding a few missing children. With not even a hint of demons around, how hard could that task be? It gets a touch more difficult when Rael herself is kidnapped. Her kidnappers don’t even desire a ransom in return for her; instead they want her to find ...

The Mermaid & The Pirate: Secrets Under the Sea. Hungry Eyes encountered good mermaids and bad mermaids. He fell in love with a bad one he thought was good. He was unprepared for an all-consuming love affair with a beautiful, lonely mermaid who becomes his most prized possession. "I captured you once, this time you won't escape me again" said Hungry Eyes to the mermaid, holding her tight in his manly embrace.

An action star turned real life vigilante. A magical store with a wicked sense of justice. And a quest for redemption. Rose Thorn is hell-bent on unleashing her inner protector. Determined to halt her city's descent into lawless chaos one villain at a time, the gutsy action hero movie star devises the most perilous role of her life. But when she suddenly finds herself on a magical island thousands of miles from home, Rose's entire future is thrown into an enchanting predicament overflowing with loving family and ominous supernatural threats. Challenged by a merciless shop with a mind of its...

A woman who can see past lives falling in love with a man who’s been dead for 100 years--should be easy, right? Um, no. Teena Jones has always known about being murdered in her past life. That’s no biggie. But when she falls in love with a revenant, things get complicated. Still, can’t a girl break up with the undead man she loves for reasons even she doesn’t understand without the Magical Council sticking their noses in? If only. The Hon. William Ambrose Deighton was the younger son of a minor baron a century or so ago, and nothing in that lifetime prepared him for the afterlife ...

Her voice is her brand. It’s also kind of a public safety concern. Marinella’s streaming channel serves up immersive sound, chill vibes, and just enough siren magic to keep her audience blissed out—without triggering another spontaneous group swim. But with sponsorships vanishing and rent climbing, she’s running out of ways to keep things ethical, engaging, and technically legal. Enter WaveSound: a glossy audio-tech giant with prototype headphones, aggressive KPIs, and one marketing director who’s a little too enthusiastic about her “authentic resonance.” They want her ...

Day three on the force, and already facing a dragon. Bob "Ironspell" Ironspell-Cabas is a rookie officer in the Denver Police Department Supernatural Unit (DPDS), still figuring out the ropes when his mentor decides to take him on a "simple training exercise" at the Denver Zoo. It should’ve been routine. Instead? A deranged sorcerer has unleashed a rampaging dragon from the Supernatural exhibit, The Magical Zoo, and taken hostages—threatening to feed them to the werewolves in the Lycanthrope House. There’s just one problem—Ironspell isn’t exactly a wizard. He’s more of an ...