Funny Urban

Side effects of a supernatural parasite may include the following: dry mouth, fatigue, auditory hallucinations, and the awakening of dormant magical powers likely to attract negative attention from the local secret society. Charlie Allison is a positive guy—and ambitious. At just twenty-two, he owns his own tour-guide business and his own bus, which he’s exceedingly proud of. He spends his workdays driving tourists around the Pacific Northwest, catering, as of late, to a growing customer base: people with an uncanny interest in an old regional flood. Though Charlie doesn’t understand ...

Clara Cassidy and Samael returned to Crossedlake University after a brief respite from the chaos at the end of last semester; they found that things had changed. The school was on lock-down, Corbin was missing, and they were under suspicion. Their worst fears slowly came true as the arcane investigators patrolling the school slowly unraveled what happened last semester and zeroed in on Clara. One of the detectives, known to be one of the best that ever existed, quickly pieced things together and targeted their group. She interrogated them intensely as she tried to pick apart the origin of ...

In Robert Urban’s 9th book he once again shows why he is often considered the king of short form comedy writing. Wisecracker is the literary equivalent of sharing a beer with your funniest friend—the one who always has a story to tell. With a sharp wit and a gift for transforming everyday nonsense into laugh-out-loud moments, Urban weaves a series of short, comedic essays, recollections and stories that explore the absurdities of modern life, relationships, and the occasional crisis. His humor is often irreverent and always brutally honest. Beneath the jokes, there’s also a surprising...

Welcome to Bezim, where sword-slinging bravi race through the night and rich and idle alchemists make magic out of mixing and measuring the four planes of reality. Siyon Velo, Dockside brat turned petty alchemist, scrapes a living hopping between the planes to harvest ingredients for the city’s alchemists. But when Siyon accidentally commits an act of impossible magic, he’s catapulted into the limelight—which is a bad place to be when the planes start lurching out of alignment, threatening to send Bezim into the sea.

Satire master Robert Urban ups the ante in his most recent book sharing his unique perspective about life, love and of course a little cheddar biscuit we all love. Filled with deep thoughts juxtaposed by one-liners, hysterical anecdotes, tangential thoughts and edgy, absurd humor this book is meant to give people who don't take themselves too seriously a rapid fire delivery of humor in only the way Robert can.

In HodgePodge, best-selling author Robert Urban once again shows his mastery of blending his authenticity, irreverent humor, brilliance and unique perspective to create a book about the realities of life. Robert shares his most intimate sometimes uproarious, sometimes tragic, but always poignant experiences and thoughts about parenting, death, god, groupies, dating, drug addiction and other topics. Critics have described this book as an "R rated version of Chicken Soup for the Soul".

A thrilling collection of the first eight Samantha Moon short stories, including: Teeth - What happens when a child is born with a rare throwback gene, a gene that produces two exceptionally long teeth? Vampire Nights - Samantha Moon meets someone unexpected on a late night trip to Denny's, someone who seems to know all her secrets and has all the answers. Vampire Blues - Samantha Moon discovers that even a routine case can offer a few surprises―and that not all men are created equal. Vampire Dreams - Samantha Moon sets out to find the answer to a mysterious, haunting dream...a dream in ...

The Mayor was murdered? And a magical plant from my garden is to blame? Even if I wanted that jerk dead, running my Bed & Breakfast takes all my time. There’s no way I could sneak a murder into my busy schedule, but obviously, someone I know did. A plant stolen from my garden poisoned the Mayor. Who could have done this? And why would someone frame me? I'm certain that my hard-working assistant, the delivery driver, and my gardener are innocent. And I’m sure it wasn’t the sexy water witch who spends an absurd amount of time staying at my little Bed & Breakfast…but he does know way ...

This time, nobody died at Moonstruck Manor, but there was still a murder. And Kyla’s sworn enemy is begging her to use her sleuthing skills in the investigation. A rogue genie who kidnapped Kyla less than a month ago desperately pleads for her help. Can she forgive him? But when he claims an enchanted knife murdered someone right in the middle of the dinner rush at his bistro, and a long line of suspects pile up, Kyla’s intrigued. Not only that, but her friend's fiancé was the man holding the knife. Can she clear the bistro’s reputation and save an innocent man without getting hurt ...

The latest thrilling collection of “Vampire for Hire” stories featuring vampire private eye, Samantha Moon, including: Silver Hammer - When a silver hammer appears in the hands of one of Samantha Moon’s closest friends―along with a bloodthirsty need to use it―the vampire detective is about to discover just how clever the Universe can be... When Sam Met Santa - When Santa Claus shows up at Sam Moon's door, it's hardly the strangest thing that's ever happened to her. What happens next, however, is another story... One Swallow - A murdered wife. A desperate husband seeking revenge. ...

Once again, the police chief comes to Vicky with a problem. The same man dies every seven years. Dealing with the impossibility, Vicky and the chief quickly discover that they are dealing with a creature who jumps from host to host when the last one is exhausted. This dangerous and complex case may cost the chief his life. In the meantime, Vicky discovers more about herself and her grandfather’s legacy while getting to know the new mysterious man in town. Vicky’s success as a bookshop owner contrasts with her mother’s strange obsession with Vicky leaving that place, with good reasons....

Banished to the edge of the supernatural world and left to die. A hero rises. Hell’s savior. Its one great hope. Yep, that’s me. I fought back against Beelzebub, stood in the face of tyranny, and even stopped murder and mayhem. No good deeds go unpunished. Immortal no longer, I’m in a fight for my life, and Hell’s leaders have handed the cheat codes to my enemies. Beelzebub wants to get even. And my magical halberd still refuses to grant me the power I’ll need to win the day. Decision time. Lie down and accept my fate, or punch death in the face? Libra is the key. He’s mapped ...

What can you do when an enemy claims sanctuary in your home? Hester Johnson is no one's favorite person, but when she arrives at Proctor House begging to be hidden, the Proctor family takes her in. When something spooks Hester, she runs away - straight into her killer. Is it coincidence she's left on Isabella's door? The danger has never been greater for Detective Palmer and Isabella needs to protect him, find the murderer, and keep her family's secrets. For fans of Samantha Silver, Amanda M. Lee, and Leighann Dobbs, On a Larkspur is a clever, fast-paced cozy mystery that will keep you ...

In 1978 America is still licking its wounds from the Vietnam War, an impeached president and skyrocketing oil prices. The people of the country are suspicious, questioning their government at every turn, and it’s an environment allowing conspiracy theories to flourish. It shouldn’t be a surprise one of these theories parallels a long-standing enigma we typically laugh at when we see it – and we see it all too often. Specifically, we look in wonder at the people who not only have a complete ineptitude when using power tools, but we also fear for their lives when they do so. Ironically,...

Blood tells all. Vervain Lavine has been through Hell. Two Hells actually, one of which she's been barred from. Despite all that, things are going pretty well for the Godhunter. At least they were until she turned on the news. Crops across America are dying, children in Hawaii are missing, and havoc is being wrecked upon her nightclub, Moonshine. It's obviously God messing with her again but which one is it this time? There's so many gods who want her dead these days. Then one wrong word sends her tumbling into an unknown realm. A strange place filled with even stranger beings who seem to ...

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

After being created in a lab, his DNA spliced with both canine and primate genes, Dex has spent his entire life locked up. He has always longed to see the outside world and to find lasting love with that one special person—dreams he never thought would come to fruition. Yet when he and his friends discover a plot to kill them all, they have no choice but to plan an escape. A life outside the walls of their compound is everything that Dex has ever hoped for, but there’s only one problem—James, a lab technician who Dex can’t seem to get out of his heart or head.

Tempest Michaels has a zombie problem. Crazy people craving human flesh have been appearing without warning in hoards in towns across Kent. He is just as mystified as everyone else, but when the elderly husband of the recent viral internet sensation known as Zombie Granny asks him to prove she is no such thing, he has to take the case. Then outside his office, people start screaming...

Shapeshifter August Shade saved the world. At least, that’s what some folks are saying. According to the rumors, the personal effects repo man bested a vampire, a warlock, and a troll without even breaking a sweat. While his growing celebrity has been good for business, it’s also meant taking jobs farther from home. Now, the cranky shapeshifter is in farm country–definitely not his natural habitat–and mixed up with two feuding hag sisters, a loan sharking coblyn, and a mysterious woman with a very scary ex.

Vicky continues to find out more about her ancestry and who she is. Many of the family secrets are hidden in her basement. After finally being taken to see the Council, Vicky has to decide if she will continue facing danger and possible death, or if she will step aside. At the same time, Vicky continues to get closer to Ethan. Yet, she can’t trust everyone, not even her own family. While Vicky is self-absorbed with decisions and family secrets, the police chief deals with the disappearance of two young women. The suspect is a creature with a limited fertile span and desperate to get his ...