Funny Southern

Sheriff Gus knows it’s going to be a bad week when he sees Sedric Hedgecock’s breathalyzer score. With a blood alcohol level of 0.62 percent, Hedgecock should be dead. If the breathalyzer’s isn’t on the fritz, Hedgecock’s superhuman. Either way, he’s blind drunk, so off to the county jail he goes. Joining the wannabe Bacchus in Gus’s cells is Jennifer Louis Bachman, awaiting extradition to Kansas on a murder charge. The victim in question is Jennifer’s unborn child, and the murder weapon is an illegal Mexican abortion. With the governor vacillating on whether to extradite, ...

SWITCH BACK is a novella (about 1/3 of a full-length novel, about 4-5 times longer than a short story) and takes place prior to BOARD STIFF (Elliott Lisbon Mystery #1). After inheriting an entire town, Ballantyne Foundation Director, Elliott Lisbon, travels to Texas to thank them. She quickly learns they don’t want her gratitude, they want their town back. And they’re willing to kill for it. Trapped in a small town full of big suspects, Elliott must unlock their secrets, or she’ll never get out alive. Now doesn’t that sound like fun? Read the whole series and gets even better. - - -...

He forecasts the weather on TV to the delight of his many fans. But the residents of Ocean Vista Condominiums are less fond of Uncle Weatherwise—the newest arrival at the condo—especially when a hurricane that he predicted would bypass Palmetto Beach instead heads straight for their town. The morning after a frantic evacuation, Kate Kennedy is blown away when she stumbles upon the corpse of Uncle Weatherwise, with a sharpened weather vane pointed in the direction of his heart. Suddenly Kate’s neighbors are her suspects, from a retired Rockette to a former federal prosecutor to a man ...

At a dinner for Swami Schwartz, the founder of the Palmetto Beach Yoga Institute, the food is fabulous and the dancing is delightful. That is, until Swami two-steps all over Kate Kennedy’s new shoes and then keels over dead after someone spikes his double espresso with cyanide. Who could have poisoned the yogi? Now Kate has to team up with her best friend Marlene to sort through suspects, including a shady business partner and a pretty yoga student—who may have shared more than a lotus position with Swami. - - - - - - - - - - - - - DEATH OF THE SWAMI SCHWARTZ by Noreen Wald A Henery ...

They’ve dedicated their lives to saving others, but can they save themselves? Seventeen years ago, they met while doing emergency response work following Hurricane Rita. Maybe it was adrenaline that brought them together, maybe it was love, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to be. They lived in different parts of the world. They agreed to share one night, then went their separate ways. Dr. Clara Bownton has spent her entire medical career saving people’s lives and she’s always had a soft spot for Texas. But the years of traveling to disaster sites and war zones have worn her ...

Thurnscoe, South Yorkshire, England, 1944. The pit village awakens with the dawn – a tapestry of terraced houses, each brick etched with stories of endurance. The war may scar the landscape, but it cannot extinguish the spirit of this down-to-earth working-class community, forged in coal and grit. The war casts its shadow, yet life persists. On Deightonby Street three friends in their thirties navigate the highs and lows of life, love, conflicts, neighbours, children, and the formidable Doris Price. Will happily married Lucy Hobson give in to her mutual passionate feelings for her ...

Do you want to help your players become better people? Do you want to become an RPG Life Coach? Do you want to level up in the game and in life? Then this book is for you. For the enlightened DM. A humorous journey to a better life for your players.

A mishap while tree-poaching leaves beer-swilling Virginia lumberjack Donnie Huff well and truly dead -- until some furious pounding on his body snatches him back from the other side with no ill effects to speak of. His devout mother-in-law, Opal Criner, is convinced his recovery is nothing less than a miracle -- and a potentially profitable one at that. With a few of Opal's valuable lessons in preacherly manners, Donnie is soon ready to spread Jesus' divine word . . . though he's not quite sure he was listening when the Savior said it.

Welcome to Sweetgum Hollow—where stories grow wilder than blackberry vines and one red-haired girl can stir up more truth than a Southern storm. Meet Jennymae “Jingles” Tibbins: a feisty, 13-year-old sparkplug with a jangle in her pocket, a rebel spirit, and a sweet tea wit that cuts through nonsense like a butter knife through biscuits. In these pages, you’ll ride shotgun through the Deep South—on dirt roads, church pews, and secrets buried beneath front porch chatter. Jingles doesn’t aim to cause trouble, but truth has a funny way of finding her—and when it does, it sure ...

Retired pitcher Lefty Gallagher wants to enjoy the summer. He doesn't want to start it by getting killed. Lefty helped Iris in the past. She's got more trouble now. She's seen something she shouldn't see and the killers could be right behind her. Cool, funny, sympathetic, and gritty. The dialogue is pitch-perfect.

Keen to become a great croquet player but need some encouragement and secret hacks to make you invincible? Do you dream of demolishing your competition with shining skills and winning jump shots? Then this book is for YOU. The author reveals dastardly little-known tactics from his expertise in “The Art of Devious Croquet.” Once learned and applied, they will ensure you: Never have to lose again. Never have to admit shamefully to your club captain you fluffed your jump shot on the 13th hoop. Never have to report that you or your team lost the match to visiting opponents. With a wicked ...

THE RYO LODGE is an outrageous comedy/drama that takes place in 1969 in the sleepy, yet strange town of Cowchip Alabama. It is the story of a criminal with a dream, driven from his lair in Tennessee, who winds up in old Cowchip town. This character driven story of one criminal's desire to rule them all is so rich in characters and description that you'll wonder if Cowchip is real...and you wouldn't be the first. The hero, Norm, (No relation to the author) who himself is a Yankee, comes to Cowchip in the dead of the night and sets about to build the greatest crime organization the world has ...

Come along with the foremost interpreter of the south, Norman Morrison, for tales with a certain southern flavor well calculated to keep you glued to your electronic screen long after the first stroke of midnight. Meet Mynerd Troft, a failed and unemployed meat packing employee on a job interview at a secret location in Cowchip Alabama where he learns a secret so monstrous and deadly that the world of management cowers in fright that you too should discover their malevolent and vicious secret. String along with Port Love, the assistant manager down at the Cowchip Cafe in Cowchip Alabama as ...

The Mayor’s Missing Message A Birdie Lou Baxter Mystery – Book Two In the charming Southern town of Haven Hills, where sweet tea flows and gossip travels faster than high-speed fiber, Birdie Lou Baxter just wants a smooth installation job. But when her crew uncovers a decades-old confession tape hidden inside the walls of the mayor’s historic home—and the newly elected mayor vanishes the very next day—Birdie finds herself tangled in a web of long-buried secrets, political cover-ups, and a scandal that threatens to rewrite the town’s history. With the help of her loyal dispatch ...

Can this swoon-worthy hero turn Dani's dreams into reality? Sure, Wade Spencer is easy on the eyes, has that Southern charm, and comes from a good family, but Dani has been burned by the like before and she’s not fool enough to try it again. But her little girl sees a potential daddy. Seeing how Wade showers her daughter with all the love the girl’s father has denied her, Dani can’t help but warm up to the idea of giving love another try. Wade has a lot going on—a mother with a life-threatening illness to look after, four younger siblings to keep in line, and a farm to run. That ...

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

Birtha Blacktail isn’t your average hunting dog. In fact, she’s not much of a hunting dog at all—unless snoring in the sun and philosophizing from the porch count as skills. She’s big, she’s loyal, and she’s got just enough brainpower to wag when necessary. Alongside her 14-year-old human, Jason, Birtha proves that life doesn’t have to be fast-paced or fancy to be downright extraordinary. Set in the quiet rhythms of rural life, this heartwarming and hilarious tale explores friendship, loyalty, lazy afternoons, and the occasional wild adventure (reluctantly participated in, of ...

Thirteen bitter sweets. Thirteen bitter suspects. One unhappy ending. World-famous Chandler's Chocolates has unveiled a new storybook-inspired chocolate collection, Once Upon a Truffle. It's up to Anna Clementine, the company's event coordinator, to promote the product by hosting a fairytale-themed beauty pageant. To set the scene, contestants are invited to an abandoned castle deep in the Smoky Mountains. After all, every little girl dreams of being a princess in a palace- unless that castle turns out to be haunted. Anna soon finds herself in a cursed castle, surrounded by spoiled ...

Tired of college, Kate Kennedy’s granddaughter, Katharine, drops out and heads for Florida, landing in the apartment of Kate’s best friend. In her quest for a new life, she takes up with a gang of surfers that go by the name “The Four Boardsmen of the Apocalypse.” But catching waves can be a dangerous pastime. When Katharine’s surfer crush is killed in a shark attack, foul play is suspected, especially by the police. Fingers are pointing at Katharine—including, to Kate’s disappointment, those of her friend Detective Nick Carbone. It’s up to Kate to prove her beloved ...

Kate and her best friend Marlene are attending the Palmetto Beach Flea Market in hopes of selling Marlene’s collection of 1950s memorabilia. Fortunately, a table has become available in the busy corridor just outside the circus tent. Unfortunately, the vacant table’s previous occupant died from electrocution when a television set took a dive into his bathtub. The police suspect foul play. And Kate suspects nearly every seller who had a table near the victim—and a motive to put him out of business. - - - - - - - - - - - - - DEATH IS A BARGAIN by Noreen Wald A Henery Press Mystery. If ...