Funny Southern

The stories of life as a missionary are seldom boring. Part hilarious memoir and part inspiring journal, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin is a unique and lovable escape. Filled with you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up tales of breastmilk surprises, roadside puking, and nightmare-inducing infestations, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin takes the reader inside the life of a missionary abroad in stomach-churning and gut-busting detail. Open a window into the larger world - and perhaps into your own journey - through these extraordinary tales of cultural confusion and quiet reflection.

In the genteel depths of Southern society—where gossip is currency, calamity wears lace gloves, and bourbon flows before brunch—Colonel Cedric Beauregard Fitzhugh the Third stumbles through a trilogy of misadventures. From scandalous garden brunches and matchmaking misfires to a murder-mystery club’s deadly encounter (and one goat with political aspirations), chaos simmers beneath the genteel surface. Standing as the last bastion of order is Arora Palindrome, his razor-sharp majordomo armed with cold ceviche, a clipboard, and a plan for every catastrophe. With biting wit, bourbon-...

A wedding and a murder...Star football player and NFL hopeful, Michael “Bumper” Hackett is getting married. Word’s going around that it’s a shotgun wedding, and there just might be some truth to it, seeing that the bride-to-be is showing a baby bump. But before the ceremony can even get started, the poor groom collapses from what appears to be an asthma attack. Unfortunately, things aren’t always what they seem. Romaine knew it was a bad idea to have a wedding at the funeral home, but newly elected justice of the peace and sole proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home & Crematorium, ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murderous matrimony is on the menu! Dani O'Shea is used to serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to the hungry townsfolk in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, so catering a wedding reception for a friend is easy as pie, right? It is until an uninvited guest crashes the party and gets murdered! When a wealthy avocado magnate drinks poison at the wedding reception after making a shocking speech about changing his will, Dani must sort out which one of his shady relatives was willing ...

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ “Great series of books! Martha and Helen are new friends who now work together in a business concerning old books and manuscripts. Each book has two stories going on, but both end up related. This series has so many different kinds of characters, locations, and conclusions. It is very creative set of stories! I'm sure that you will enjoy all five books. Happy Reading!!!" -- Margaret L. A DELIGHTFUL COZY MYSTERY FULL OF QUAINT VILLAGES, QUIRKY CHARACTERS, AND MADCAP ADVENTURES BY A BESTSELLING AUTHOR. Helen Ryes and Martha Littleword, two Americans living in England, become...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murder is served up hot! Halloween is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, and Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry guests and trick-or-treaters alike. But it's not ghosts or vampires that are getting everyone in town spooked; it's a famous writer who has returned to town to write a tell-all book exposing the townsfolk's darkest secrets! When murder puts an end to the writer and his book, and the Breezy Spoon's famous pineapple upside-down cake is ...

As a graduation present for her daughter, Tammy, Samantha Moon and the gang head down to South America for the vacation of all vacations. Of course, no vacation involving the vampire detective would be complete without a little mystery and mayhem. Or in this case, a lot of mystery mayhem! Enjoy the complete 6-story Latin Moon series in one easy-to-read volume. What's inside: 1. Incan Moon: First stop: Machu Picchu! For Samantha Moon, the breathtaking ruins hold more than meets the eye—let the adventure, mystery, and magic begin! 2. Xibalba Moon: Next stop: Xibalba—the Mayan Underworld! ...

Welcome to the front porch of Possum Neck, Arkansas—where the tea is sweet, the air is thick with crickets and mischief, and Grandpa Charlie’s rocking chair creaks with more secrets than a preacher at a pie auction. In That Reminds Me of a Story, you’re about to experience twenty outrageous, side-splitting, and possibly-not-entirely-true tales straight from the mouth of the South’s most animated storyteller. From possessed hams and time-warping lawnmowers to ghost-filled outhouses and championship possum pageants, these stories walk the fine line between “that never happened” ...

This is a collection of twenty-nine short stories and is completely true and hardly exaggerates events as written, as fantastic as that may sound. As a kid living so far out in the country that the sun didn't rise until ten AM, I remember reading Mark Twain’s Life on the River and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and thinking of those stories as a documentary account of my life. I didn’t have a slave or float down the Mississippi on a raft, but I grew up with eight surviving siblings and got into more mischief than anyone would believe. Momma whipped my back and legs with a peach tree...

When Pegasus Quincy, sheriff’s deputy, steps into the leaky rowboat to investigate a murder at a mysterious artists’ colony, her troubles have just begun. A new detective blames Peg when she gets snake bit. A friend gets caught in a drug raid and asks Peg’s assistance. Her new roomie monopolizes the kitchen, until Peg’s coonhound Reckless eats too many French macarons. And then there is the cat lady who accuses Peg of stealing a valuable painting. Surely Peg wouldn’t do that, would she? Join Pegasus Quincy as she delves into the nefarious underworld of art auctions, mid-century ...

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

A sunny murder mystery set in a Southern California beach town. Chelsea and Ella are two coffee shop workers just trying to prosper in a coastal community. Unfortunately, bodies start to drop on their bit of beach. The two start to pick apart the local secrets in their newfound and sometimes hilarious approach to sleuthing. But their findings are so serious that the police worry for their safety. Can our baristas find the killer without getting burned? Expanded from the previously published Beach Reaper (Episodes 1-20) on Kindle Vella.

Luck had never been on Tangie Thomas’s side! If it had, then she wouldn’t be selling her so-called “lucky charms” to the unsuspecting townsfolk of Clio, Alabama. And believe-you-me, she’d much rather be doing just about anything else. But, what could she do when her luck was so bad it cost her job after job until she was left with nothing but her charming personality and a few pretty baubles? She’d opened her business, Charmed, I’m Sure, right out of her ancient, bewitched purse! And she’d been just naive enough to think things were starting to look up for her when lo-and-...

Cassie and Elvis have Magnolia Bay's boardwalk purring like a kitten with fresh cream. With her bookstore thriving and friends by her side, Cassie's newest pride and joy are a pair of fall boots that don't just make folks green with envy—they're brimming with a magic only she knows about. Will they be enough to help her solve the latest murder in Magnolia Bay? The holiday weekend takes a dark turn when a local mom is found murdered. With secrets buried deeper than treasure and an investigation ally spilling them recklessly, danger's now tailing Cassie and her crew like a shadow on a hot ...

Southern matriarch Lillian Summer Fairview is settling right nice into prison, until Big Martha, the toughest broad on the cellblock, comes asking for a favor. Her niece has fallen for a guy she met online, and Martha’s convinced Mr. Too-Good-To-Be-True is up to no good. All Lil’s friends have to do is investigate the guy and report back. Will these amateur sleuths be able to track down the elusive Romeo in the scam-filled world of online dating without alerting the local police to their shenanigans, or will they find themselves in trouble right up to their granny panties?

She’s settling into a new life. But when a fishing trip totally capsizes, can she get a friend off the hook for murder? Elizabeth Trout still feels awkward living back home. Discovering a BFF from her raucous high-school days has become the perfect mom is as weird as staying with her mother while awaiting construction of her new home. But she’s shaken to her core when her newlywed husband and beloved dog are nearly blown out of the water in a dockside explosion which leaves another woman dead … and her bestie is arrested for the crime. To clear her friend, Elizabeth and her spouse set...

A one-night stand. An unwanted pregnancy. A life-changing experience. Zane Spencer can't hide from his mistakes anymore, so tail tucked between his legs, he returns home to Shiloh for a fresh start. He'll swallow his pride, go back to working on the farm he never should have left in the first place, and maybe one day he'll deserve to find a sweet girl to marry and raise a family of his own. No one will ever find out that instead of chasing his dreams with his band, he’d spent most of his time away as an Elvis impersonator. But a surprise that will change his life forever awaits him back ...

The trials and tribulations of owning dogs: maniacal Mastiffs, dodgy Boerboels, flatulent pavement specials, leg-humping Ridgebacks, hapless Jack Russells, useless watchdogs and a shady German Shepherd fill the pages of this book. Enjoy cautionary tales of miscreant farm dogs (and cats) told with humour and pathos and a great love of man’s best friend.

Welcome to Angel Falls, a deep-south small town in the heart of L.A. (That’s Lower Alabama, y’all.) Injury shatters Casey Alexander’s dream of becoming a prima ballerina, so she opens a dance studio in her home town of Angel Falls. Among her students are the daughters of her high-school sweetheart Ben and his wife Melody, Casey’s ex-best friend. Witnessing Ben and Melody’s happy-ever-after on a weekly basis fuels her determination to find someone of her own to love. But eligible men are scarce as hen’s teeth in the quaint little town on the backside of nowhere. Until a sexy ...