Funny Southern

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murderous matrimony is on the menu! Dani O'Shea is used to serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to the hungry townsfolk in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, so catering a wedding reception for a friend is easy as pie, right? It is until an uninvited guest crashes the party and gets murdered! When a wealthy avocado magnate drinks poison at the wedding reception after making a shocking speech about changing his will, Dani must sort out which one of his shady relatives was willing ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murder is served up hot! Halloween is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, and Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry guests and trick-or-treaters alike. But it's not ghosts or vampires that are getting everyone in town spooked; it's a famous writer who has returned to town to write a tell-all book exposing the townsfolk's darkest secrets! When murder puts an end to the writer and his book, and the Breezy Spoon's famous pineapple upside-down cake is ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murder is always on the menu! It's city fair season in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, and Dani O'Shea is getting ready to serve fair-goers the Breezy Spoon Diner's delicious formula of great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality. But when a reformed criminal comes back to town and runs for mayor, only to end up dead in a crate of onions, Dani has to add “find the murderer” to her list of preparations! With a close friend arrested for the crime, Dani must unravel the dead man's sordid past to uncover the true killer,...

Eastbourne or Bust A not-at-all-serious account of one man, one bike, and the long, painful road to the coast. Ever thought cycling the South Downs Way would be a charming, leisurely jaunt through scenic countryside? Yeah, so did I. Idiot. What actually happened was a four-day, mud-splattered odyssey of mechanical failures, chalky cliffside death slides, possessed bike saddles, and a surprising number of historical detours involving Romans, smugglers, haunted windmills and at least one overly dramatic Victorian tunnel. Armed with questionable fitness, a half-functioning bicycle, and the ...

The stories of life as a missionary are seldom boring. Part hilarious memoir and part inspiring journal, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin is a unique and lovable escape. Filled with you-can’t-make-this-stuff-up tales of breastmilk surprises, roadside puking, and nightmare-inducing infestations, Kitten in a Biscuit Tin takes the reader inside the life of a missionary abroad in stomach-churning and gut-busting detail. Open a window into the larger world - and perhaps into your own journey - through these extraordinary tales of cultural confusion and quiet reflection.

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

Do you want to join the ranks of the Intergalactic Diplomatic Corp. but don't know what to do? This book is for you. Learn all the tips and tricks for dealing with aliens across the universe. Start your new career now in the intergalactic diplomatic corp.

In the genteel depths of Southern society—where gossip is currency, calamity wears lace gloves, and bourbon flows before brunch—Colonel Cedric Beauregard Fitzhugh the Third stumbles through a trilogy of misadventures. From scandalous garden brunches and matchmaking misfires to a murder-mystery club’s deadly encounter (and one goat with political aspirations), chaos simmers beneath the genteel surface. Standing as the last bastion of order is Arora Palindrome, his razor-sharp majordomo armed with cold ceviche, a clipboard, and a plan for every catastrophe. With biting wit, bourbon-...

It’s another murder in the little town of Roble. But not to worry, Romaine and Auntie Zanne are on it! It’s the 100th Boule of the Distinguished Ladies’ Society of Voodoo Herbalists. They’ve gotten together to eat, drink, be merry and vote for the next Lesser Mambo, a lifetime appointment second only to the Most High (bet you’ll never guess who holds that position). But the second in command spot keeps becoming vacant—that’s because the women who fill it keep dying off. This time though, it looks like murder. During an alcohol-infused dinner and a tall glass full of absinth, a...

This is a collection of twenty-nine short stories and is completely true and hardly exaggerates events as written, as fantastic as that may sound. As a kid living so far out in the country that the sun didn't rise until ten AM, I remember reading Mark Twain’s Life on the River and the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn and thinking of those stories as a documentary account of my life. I didn’t have a slave or float down the Mississippi on a raft, but I grew up with eight surviving siblings and got into more mischief than anyone would believe. Momma whipped my back and legs with a peach tree...

Welcome to Angel Falls, a deep-south small town in the heart of L.A. (That’s Lower Alabama, y’all.) Injury shatters Casey Alexander’s dream of becoming a prima ballerina, so she opens a dance studio in her home town of Angel Falls. Among her students are the daughters of her high-school sweetheart Ben and his wife Melody, Casey’s ex-best friend. Witnessing Ben and Melody’s happy-ever-after on a weekly basis fuels her determination to find someone of her own to love. But eligible men are scarce as hen’s teeth in the quaint little town on the backside of nowhere. Until a sexy ...

Luck had never been on Tangie Thomas’s side! If it had, then she wouldn’t be selling her so-called “lucky charms” to the unsuspecting townsfolk of Clio, Alabama. And believe-you-me, she’d much rather be doing just about anything else. But, what could she do when her luck was so bad it cost her job after job until she was left with nothing but her charming personality and a few pretty baubles? She’d opened her business, Charmed, I’m Sure, right out of her ancient, bewitched purse! And she’d been just naive enough to think things were starting to look up for her when lo-and-...

As a graduation present for her daughter, Tammy, Samantha Moon and the gang head down to South America for the vacation of all vacations. Of course, no vacation involving the vampire detective would be complete without a little mystery and mayhem. Or in this case, a lot of mystery mayhem! Enjoy the complete 6-story Latin Moon series in one easy-to-read volume. What's inside: 1. Incan Moon: First stop: Machu Picchu! For Samantha Moon, the breathtaking ruins hold more than meets the eye—let the adventure, mystery, and magic begin! 2. Xibalba Moon: Next stop: Xibalba—the Mayan Underworld! ...

A wedding and a murder...Star football player and NFL hopeful, Michael “Bumper” Hackett is getting married. Word’s going around that it’s a shotgun wedding, and there just might be some truth to it, seeing that the bride-to-be is showing a baby bump. But before the ceremony can even get started, the poor groom collapses from what appears to be an asthma attack. Unfortunately, things aren’t always what they seem. Romaine knew it was a bad idea to have a wedding at the funeral home, but newly elected justice of the peace and sole proprietor of the Ball Funeral Home & Crematorium, ...

When Pegasus Quincy, sheriff’s deputy, steps into the leaky rowboat to investigate a murder at a mysterious artists’ colony, her troubles have just begun. A new detective blames Peg when she gets snake bit. A friend gets caught in a drug raid and asks Peg’s assistance. Her new roomie monopolizes the kitchen, until Peg’s coonhound Reckless eats too many French macarons. And then there is the cat lady who accuses Peg of stealing a valuable painting. Surely Peg wouldn’t do that, would she? Join Pegasus Quincy as she delves into the nefarious underworld of art auctions, mid-century ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where Santa's serving up murder for Christmas! Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City! Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry townsfolk, but a department store Santa Claus getting murdered outside her door was not what she wanted for Christmas! When a vengeful killer murders the wrong man by mistake, Dani must race to unmask the murderer and protect the true target before anyone else dies! Her landlord, ...

Twenty-seven years after Tyler left his troubles behind in his trilogy, he has a son, Oscar, who is proving to be a chip off the old block. As Kentucky's most eligible bachelor, he has everything--including a gambling problem. After getting on the wrong side of a notorious loan shark, Louie Gomez, Oscar Novak-Chambers must use his family's good standing with the governor's office to obtain a monumental favor to clear his debt. He targets the governor's daughter, Stacey Davenport. Sweet she is not. Ruthless she is--and she's looking to bring down Kentucky's criminal hierarchy--and Louie ...

Welcome to the front porch of Possum Neck, Arkansas—where the tea is sweet, the air is thick with crickets and mischief, and Grandpa Charlie’s rocking chair creaks with more secrets than a preacher at a pie auction. In That Reminds Me of a Story, you’re about to experience twenty outrageous, side-splitting, and possibly-not-entirely-true tales straight from the mouth of the South’s most animated storyteller. From possessed hams and time-warping lawnmowers to ghost-filled outhouses and championship possum pageants, these stories walk the fine line between “that never happened” ...

Tiffany, Stone, and Rosie find themselves in Louisiana – and with an alligator for a client. Tasked with proving semi-tame alligator Buttercup's innocence in the death of a local man, the trio scramble to uncover the truth… before things get too late for the gator, and before the killer strikes again… Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and entertaining characters" - lq, Amazon.com "For fans of Janet Evanovich, Rhys Bowen and Jana DeLeon, this is a funny...

Do you want to help your players become better people? Do you want to become an RPG Life Coach? Do you want to level up in the game and in life? Then this book is for you. For the enlightened DM. A humorous journey to a better life for your players.