Funny Southern

Keen to become a great croquet player but need some encouragement and secret hacks to make you invincible? Do you dream of demolishing your competition with shining skills and winning jump shots? Then this book is for YOU. The author reveals dastardly little-known tactics from his expertise in “The Art of Devious Croquet.” Once learned and applied, they will ensure you: Never have to lose again. Never have to admit shamefully to your club captain you fluffed your jump shot on the 13th hoop. Never have to report that you or your team lost the match to visiting opponents. With a wicked ...

PLEASE NOTE- SNAPSHOTS IS NOT A PHOTO BOOK! Matthew Lightfoot attempted to write a book while travelling the world, using thirty years of travel snapshots to jog his memory. His present day adventures take us on a campervan journey across New Zealand, to being castaway on a Fijian Island, then from the mysterious nation of Paraguay, across the high Andes by bus to South America's Pacific coast. Along the way, a series of long forgotten images lead us on a photographic exploration of the author's past adventures around the world. Lightfoot attracts incidents and his tales embark on a fast-...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where Santa's serving up murder for Christmas! Christmas is just around the corner and Santa Claus is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City! Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry townsfolk, but a department store Santa Claus getting murdered outside her door was not what she wanted for Christmas! When a vengeful killer murders the wrong man by mistake, Dani must race to unmask the murderer and protect the true target before anyone else dies! Her landlord, ...

A small-town bachelor. A big-city therapist. A second chance at love in the most unexpected place. John “Tater” Davidson is Dent County’s favorite loudmouth. Known for fixing cars, quoting scripture between swear words, and making people laugh until they cry, he hides a bruised heart behind every joke. After being cheated on and divorced not even 90 days after getting hitched, Tater's done with love—and no one blames him. So when a mental health clinic opens just outside town, and the woman leading it turns out to be his ex-girlfriend from years ago—the one who left without saying...

They’ve dedicated their lives to saving others, but can they save themselves? Seventeen years ago, they met while doing emergency response work following Hurricane Rita. Maybe it was adrenaline that brought them together, maybe it was love, but it didn’t matter. It wasn’t meant to be. They lived in different parts of the world. They agreed to share one night, then went their separate ways. Dr. Clara Bownton has spent her entire medical career saving people’s lives and she’s always had a soft spot for Texas. But the years of traveling to disaster sites and war zones have worn her ...

The Sweet Potato Queens like men. They like them so much that they have devoted an absolutely inordinate amount of time to the pursuit of men, marriage, and great sex. And then, when that doesn't work out, they've devoted an inordinate amount of time to divorce, gittin another one and having great sex with him instead. The Sweet Potato Queens' Field Guide to Men is the Queens manifesto on all matters of the heart, featuring tales from Queens around the world, plus the continuing adventures of the women you've come to know and love (and envy just a little bit).

Do you want to help your players become better people? Do you want to become an RPG Life Coach? Do you want to level up in the game and in life? Then this book is for you. For the enlightened DM. A humorous journey to a better life for your players.

Amy Kate Anderson is Southern trouble in high heels. A Fire— A Murder— What’s happened to her quiet little town of Pine Lake? Book shop owner, Amy Kate Anderson, thought she was having the worse day ever … until they wheeled a body out of the coffee shop next door and her friend, Matt Murphy, co-owner of the Beans and Leaves, became the number one suspect for the DA. Can Amy Kate find a way to help her friend and keep her dreams for her bookshop from going up in smoke? Or will the handsome Lieutenant Gabe Cooper have his way and leave Amy Kate fishing for clues among the ashes? In ...

He forecasts the weather on TV to the delight of his many fans. But the residents of Ocean Vista Condominiums are less fond of Uncle Weatherwise—the newest arrival at the condo—especially when a hurricane that he predicted would bypass Palmetto Beach instead heads straight for their town. The morning after a frantic evacuation, Kate Kennedy is blown away when she stumbles upon the corpse of Uncle Weatherwise, with a sharpened weather vane pointed in the direction of his heart. Suddenly Kate’s neighbors are her suspects, from a retired Rockette to a former federal prosecutor to a man ...

Thurnscoe, South Yorkshire, England, 1944. The pit village awakens with the dawn – a tapestry of terraced houses, each brick etched with stories of endurance. The war may scar the landscape, but it cannot extinguish the spirit of this down-to-earth working-class community, forged in coal and grit. The war casts its shadow, yet life persists. On Deightonby Street three friends in their thirties navigate the highs and lows of life, love, conflicts, neighbours, children, and the formidable Doris Price. Will happily married Lucy Hobson give in to her mutual passionate feelings for her ...

Cassie and Elvis have Magnolia Bay's boardwalk purring like a kitten with fresh cream. With her bookstore thriving and friends by her side, Cassie's newest pride and joy are a pair of fall boots that don't just make folks green with envy—they're brimming with a magic only she knows about. Will they be enough to help her solve the latest murder in Magnolia Bay? The holiday weekend takes a dark turn when a local mom is found murdered. With secrets buried deeper than treasure and an investigation ally spilling them recklessly, danger's now tailing Cassie and her crew like a shadow on a hot ...

This is a two-volume ebook edition of Doreen and Ken Tonks’ amusing, down-to-earth books about their life in southern Spain. Please see individual titles for descriptions and reviews.

Come on in to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murder is the special of the day! When Dani O'Shea returns to her sleepy little hometown of East Spoon Creek City after a tour in Afghanistan and buys The Breezy Spoon Diner, she plans to live peacefully, serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality to the friendly locals. The Breezy Spoon is a big success, and when hunky and flirtatious fireman Mark Adams offers to rent Dani his downstairs apartment, things are really looking up.... until a dead body with a chocolate pie smashed in his face shows up in the dumpster behind ...

A mishap while tree-poaching leaves beer-swilling Virginia lumberjack Donnie Huff well and truly dead -- until some furious pounding on his body snatches him back from the other side with no ill effects to speak of. His devout mother-in-law, Opal Criner, is convinced his recovery is nothing less than a miracle -- and a potentially profitable one at that. With a few of Opal's valuable lessons in preacherly manners, Donnie is soon ready to spread Jesus' divine word . . . though he's not quite sure he was listening when the Savior said it.

A Feast of Freedom is a brilliant spoof of international affairs--an irresistible blend of humor and satire that is as delightful, as timely, and as deliciously cunning as The Mouse That Roared. While visiting cannibals on a small South Pacific island, the Vice President gets into a stew--literally--causing an international incident that only Leonard Wibberley could concoct. PRAISE FOR A FEAST OF FREEDOM: "Another wildly funny, enormously readable, strangely applicable novel from the pen of a gifted writer."--The Los Angeles Times "A Feast of Freedom must certainly be put along side The ...

THE RYO LODGE is an outrageous comedy/drama that takes place in 1969 in the sleepy, yet strange town of Cowchip Alabama. It is the story of a criminal with a dream, driven from his lair in Tennessee, who winds up in old Cowchip town. This character driven story of one criminal's desire to rule them all is so rich in characters and description that you'll wonder if Cowchip is real...and you wouldn't be the first. The hero, Norm, (No relation to the author) who himself is a Yankee, comes to Cowchip in the dead of the night and sets about to build the greatest crime organization the world has ...

Zara Bloom’s got 230K followers, a scruffy bay rescue horse named Chaos Theory, and a knack for turning dressage into a millennial TikTok empire—until her bourbon-soaked train wreck of a mom, Darla, crashes the Barn Burners Gala with a thermos of “tea” and a pyrotechnic disaster that’d make a gator blush. Southern Grace Stables was supposed to woo investors with classy demos and a fake fire, not erupt into a glitter-gargling, swamp-siren shitshow featuring Darla’s line-dancing chaos, a rogue chopper pilot named Remy, and a kid who thinks “Auntie Darla” is a superhero. Now ...

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

Come along with the foremost interpreter of the south, Norman Morrison, for tales with a certain southern flavor well calculated to keep you glued to your electronic screen long after the first stroke of midnight. Meet Mynerd Troft, a failed and unemployed meat packing employee on a job interview at a secret location in Cowchip Alabama where he learns a secret so monstrous and deadly that the world of management cowers in fright that you too should discover their malevolent and vicious secret. String along with Port Love, the assistant manager down at the Cowchip Cafe in Cowchip Alabama as ...

Hot men, sweet tea, juicy gossip, and good friends. That’s what you’ll find in Willowdale, North Carolina. This box set includes the first three Willowdale short stories that preclude No Foolin’, the first novel in the Willowdale series. Stories include: “A Fine How-De-Do,” “A Little Hanky-Panky,” and “A Perfect Setup.” “A Fine How-De-Do” Short story #1. 17,000 words. It’s been a bad month for Tonya Garcia. After her beloved nonna died, her boyfriend's only sympathy involved big plans for spending her inheritance. Now that he’s out of the picture, Tonya needs a new...