Funny Shorts

A collection of short stories, rhymes and jokes from by Emma Holland, one of Australia's leading comedians. Easy to read and impossible to put down! Think a blanket knitted out of body hair; balls held hostage by a disgruntled neighbour; an awful lot of broken glass from a school with a daily window-smashing problem; mysteriously mayonaissed burgers. It's Paul Jennings meets Kate and Jol Temple meets the Worst Week Ever series.

In the South, we believe in being polite, even if it kills us. So, when we just can't fight the urge to say something nasty, we follow it up with a "bless her heart" just to make us feel better. "Look at that poor woman trying to jog around that track. Her rear-end is dragging a trail, bless her heart." Youngblood and Poole talk about the ins and outs of nosy neighbors, sibling rivalry, and why every Southerner worth her salt feels the need to offer advice.

A teacher in a poor South Florida school has an encounter with a student who changes her thinking about herself and the meaning of life.

Once. Twice. Three times the fun on St. Patrick’s Day. With her shocking red hair and creamy, pale skin, Rhiannon Kelly is every man’s St. Patrick’s Day fantasy. Dressed to kill in a green strapless dress, Sean can’t help but undress his wife before they’ve even left the house. When he leaves her wanting though, it awakens something in her that neither of them will soon forget. Enter a sexy stranger, an ex-boyfriend and his friend and it becomes a St. Paddy’s Day to remember. Transpiring in a hotel room downtown, Rhiannon opens up a whole new world for her husband as she’s ...

This book contains numerous short stories as seen through the eyes of a dusty old baker. The stories are made up of observations, history, and imagination, as the author watches the world go by as he sits at the large table in the middle of his bakery.

An expat living in South Korea is attracted to Korean farmer Dae-jin, because of his looks and his wealth. But a legendary trickster goblin, a dokkaebi, has its eyes set on the money-grabber to foil her plans. Will the girl get the money and tear Dae-jin away from his wife? Or, perhaps the dokkaebi has other plans....

I was living the life of a normal ten-year-old until it all changed. The very moment it changed you ask? I would say it was the moment I escaped my bully Bull, but it could be the moment I ran through Binx. One moment I was just Rocky and the next I was the savior of humanity. Join us as we travel through time to collect all the pieces to lock up Mr. Moon the diabolical genus. If we fail life as we know it will be gone… Oh, and mystical creatures, Zombies, Giant Snakes, Pirates, Mummies, and the Angel of Death is all a part of the journey.

Determined to snag a mistletoe kiss from her longtime crush by Christmas Eve, shy bookworm Tabitha recruits her best friend's charming brother, Liam—yeah that Liam, the notorious player—as her secret romance coach. Little does she know, Liam's been hiding some mistletoe dreams of his own—all starring Tabitha. As their flirty lessons heat up the snowy nights in their cozy small town, Liam must choose: play it safe as her wingman, or risk it all for a chance to be the man waiting for her under the mistletoe. Tropes: Romance coach Best friend’s brother Player hero Shy heroine He falls ...

Joe DeRozier sits at a big table in his bakery. The sheeter's over there. There are racks with trays of donuts. A police officer stops in. His kids come by. Someone up front wants a particular pastry--does he have it? His mother-in-law visits there. She's beautiful. Joe thinks a lot and writes it down. Those thoughts draw portraits of his mother-in-law, the police officer, and the town he loves. He says he just makes donuts, but he does more. Much more. Welcome to DeRozier's. Enjoy the visit.

Rebecca, an ambitious and stubborn 16-year-old has a stomach flu on the day of her big math exam. Hell-bent on getting a better grade than Susie, her nemesis and bully, she ignores her parents’ advice to stay at home. Things are about to get messy!

When Dr. Cline offers Dr. Morrison a large sum of money to take a patient off his hands, it should have been a red flag… but Dr. Morrison disregards it. After all, the patient’s condition is nothing out of the ordinary. How difficult can she be?...

High school teacher Jack McCarthy endures a challenging day at an inner-city school in South Florida. During a rainstorm on the way home, he has an epiphany.

Cassandra- I want to give Drake an anniversary to remember, make his biggest fantasy a reality. I thought he was crazy when he told me that he wanted to see me with another man, like, certifiably insane. Drake is shy, timid, conservative, anything but a wife sharer. But he wanted to do this and I wanted to do it for him. I made the plans, found Evan, an experienced Bull from Wall Street, tall, blonde, handsome. He’s everything I could have wanted for my first time as a hotwife. And, it just so happens that he’s into everything I’m offering, even if I have to play up the southern side ...

Sharing is caring, especially sharing your wife. Dawson Harris is a generous man, opening his house to a stranger on Thanksgiving when all their plans fall through, he just didn't know how generous he was until he saw the look in his wife's eyes. Sarah is a sweet southern belle who always takes care of everyone else but Dawson knows that he can give her something this Thanksgiving that she'd never dare ask for, their temporary neighbor, Locke. When it's abundantly clear that his wife's attracted to the firefighter next door, Dawson does the neighborly thing and lets all of their dreams come...

It’s not what’s in the box this Christmas, it’s who. Patience isn’t Brooke Cohen’s strong suit, never has been, never will be. When her husband surprises her with the Christmas experience of a lifetime, she doesn’t expect that her complete and total lack of patience will be tested over and over again by her favorite musician of all time. The knock at the door is just about the least exciting part of the whole ordeal and she almost tinkled her pants when that happened. Brooke’s celebrity crush, Mr. Kai-Li Chung himself, thinking ten steps ahead of her at all times, has no ...

This is the best day of my life, hand’s down. My wife, Violet, and my trainer. The way he looks at her, I knew he had to be the one. I brought up how I wanted to share her, and, to my surprise, she was into it. The things she did to me that night, only showed how interested my wife was in being shared. Dave’s the exact opposite of me, jacked, rugged, confident with a cocky grin to go along with it. She wants to make him submit to her every desire. Dave’s all for it if it means that he can have a night with my wife, beautiful, slim with an ass that just won’t quit. We don’t even ...

Annie is the bane of my existence. My horny next-door neighbor is out of control with the wild behavior. Still. Even after two red-hot encounters between us. I've had it. It's time to make her apologize, make her see the error of her ways. Make her admit that I call the shots and she's the one that has to make it up to me. I know how to push her buttons and get her even hornier. She will bend over and take it. Beg for more. But until I hear a "sorry" I won't give her the thing she craves the most. Hint: It's in my pants. This explosive, untamed tale will burn up your device. Joel and Annie ...

A very short collection of humorous and up lifting stories. A teenage boy tries to put the moves on a girl at the bus stop. God as a movie director has a rough Hollywood style meeting. Two men return to the scene of a past family tragedy and find love and laughter there. And finally, an epic adventure that only ten year old boys can dream up even as they live it, surviving the perils of hunting Santana, the Killer Rooster near a small village in Mexico. Read and laugh along with the hilarious characters that inhabit this silly little stories.

Alex Goodwin tackles everything from curling tournaments to high-stress bakery jobs to incredibly inventive (in the wrong way!) midnight tours of Igor’s castle to the hardship of aglet manufacturing to the satisfaction of homecoming (even if that home happens to be a bomb-testing field in the Death Valley).

Every shifter has a fated mate, the one being who's a perfect match. Unless fate makes a mistake? All her life Gina Grey has dreamed of meeting her mate, but she never expected that fate would bring her someone so horrible that she can’t stand to be in the same room as him. The clothing designer and entrepreneur also didn’t expect that her mate would be the person who stole her new retail location right out from under her! Drew Galina is back in Greysden and ready to open his new law practice in the small town where he grew up. His new neighbor Gina hates him, but that’s nothing new. ...