Funny Shorts

Bleak Punchline Joke Book set the bar somewhere in the dirt and lost it. Bleak Punchline Joke Book II accidently came across the bar again and buried it deep in the grubby earth. Bleak Punchline Joke Book III, the final act of humourless hubris in the trilogy, forgets about the bar altogether and settles for the dirt. If you have endured Sammy Madden’s musings so far, feel free to repent and absolve yourself of wrongdoing, or, if that doesn’t suit your intellect, please, by all means, lie down and roll around with the remaining swine.

When your job is helping heartbroken people break back into their lives after nasty breakups, falling for the city's top security system designer definitely isn't in the business plan. Olivia Chen is the locksmith you call when love lets you down—part emotional therapist, part professional lock-picker. Marcus Rivera designs the security systems that keep people out, and he's the best in the business. When a high-profile divorce puts them on opposite sides of the same door, their professional rivalry ignites into something far more dangerous to their hearts. As they find themselves picking...

When Fred Dorflinger and his wife Carol visit their friends Alan and Loretta Hostetter and their 10 children, they expect a quiet, calm weekend. What ensues instead is a calamity of unexpected visitors, clumsiness, unforeseen events, and a very dangerous bowl of spinach dip. To say more about this short novelette would be to spoil the surprise. Winner of the 1983 John T. Ruhl Memorial award for humor. "I have seen people howl with laughter when Barry Clay reads this story aloud to his friends, but I really, really wish he would have spared me the acute embarrassment and not printed this for...

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

If you’ve just fallen into this beguiling treasure, then it’s in your best interest to just spank yourself and throw this book back in the vault where you found it. Because once opened, fabulous words that grow into sentences and paragraphs and stories will leave you with a massive rock-solid sense of the surreal. Leave now and we can both forget about this momentary plunge of lusciousness your eyes were about to feast on. Go! Prevail upon the legendary badassery life that is yours elsewhere. You have been thanked for your no-obligation, risk-free read of this secure blurb and I wish ...

Alana was a bad girl, the type who could rock your world at the same time she was breaking your heart. Until she met her husband. But she could only suppress the bad girl for so long. When her husband’s fraternity brother hits on her at their welcome home party, she lets him, leading him upstairs to her bedroom. She knows it isn’t right but she wants to let loose for once, let her hair down, become who she used to be for just one more night. She deserves it after the most stressful year of her life. Cam wants to give his beautiful wife everything she deserves, most of all, he wants to ...

She wants to be faithful. She also wants a baby, but that's proving to be a challenge... My husband and I have decided to finally have a baby. I’m fertile, but my much older husband is having problems breeding me. He gives me permission to cheat on him, but only for procreation, and only when he’s out of town. No problem, I think. There are always lots of guys flirting with me, and I can give them what they want while accepting the deposits I need to get pregnant. The library where I work makes the perfect location for a few hot quickies. But the more I cheat on my husband, the more I ...

Flying to a faraway destination can be wondrous and frightening. When settling down for a long flight, a range of questions may come to mind about some of the unusual aspects of flying, like should you be concerned about the lightning storm in the distance? Or why do you feel like a zombie after crossing several time zones? These and many more questions are explored in an easy to read and humorous way. In answering these questions you will be taken on a journey through a range of aviation topics with great care and insight. You will see why the human body is not well adapted to some aspects...

Gus has traveled out of state and up to the city of Seattle to visit his daughter. She’s sharing an apartment with two criminology majors. Naturally their thoughts turn toward talking about crime and they ask Gus to talk about one of his cases. Since he doesn’t want to discuss anything too recent or else his daughter might know the people involved, he digs down deep into his memory banks for the perfect case from his first year as a sheriff. It also just so happens to be the first case he crossed path with Father Xavier. As he remembers it, Gus was called in to investigate an apparent ...

Don't you wish arrogant jerks had a literal red flag stuck on their head? You'd be walking along, see a cute guy, notice the huge red flag flapping in the breeze and you'd make a detour pronto! Unfortunately, life didn't work that way for some of the people in this group of thirteen stories. They were bamboozled by a charming man's flapping gums and married them. One woman thus inherited a delusional mother-in-law who believed every lie their precious son told them and actually supported his mistress! And how did the wife find out about this side piece? Text conversations. So what did the ...

When the existence of ghosts is finally proven, it’s also discovered they make an amazing renewable energy source and like all the gold rushes in history, the first real money is not made in mining the gold, but selling the supplies to mine the gold and related items or in this case to find and capture the ghosts. But when any new movement is formed there’s a counter movement like PLETS, People for the Legal Ethical Treatment of Specters composed of members enraged at the prospect that the ghost of dear uncle Bob, a life-long vegan might find its self powering a nearby burger franchise.

Jack and Sunnie take a much needed vacation to Chicago. For the first time since college, the whole gang is back together, including Sunnie's ex-boyfriend slash Jack's best friend, Ian. During a night of drinking, when everyone else has gone to bed, Sunnie, Jack and Ian are the last ones standing. Until two of them are no longer standing, but laying, on top of each other. Jack's never been more turned on in his life watching his wife with her ex-boyfriend, the only other man she's ever been with. Chicago was just the getaway that they needed. Share Me In Chicago is a dual POV first time, ...

What is it like to be known as Mansoor Ali Khan Pataudi's daughter? Or to have a mother as famous as Sharmila Tagore? Or to be recognized as Saif Ali Khan's sister? Or as Kareena Kapoor's sister-in-law? And where do I stand among them? Actor Soha Ali Khan's debut audiobook is at heart a brilliant collection of personal essays where she recounts with self-deprecating humor what it was like growing up in one of the most illustrious families of the country.

Santa’s got a new wife – and she’s a little ho ho ho! When I signed up for a mail order bride service, I had no idea that “Nick who lives up North” was actually Santa Claus. But that’s not the biggest surprise. It turns out that Santa is very fit, very funny, and very, very naughty. When my husband suggests we check out the hotwife lifestyle, it turns out to be just what we need to keep the sugar and spice in our relationship. Santa gives men who've been good all year a special gift for the holidays – his wife. Being shared with other guys really jingles my bells, and when ...

Who knew coming out as a lesbian in midlife would be such a challenge? After eighteen years of marriage, Rebecca finally admits the truth: she likes women. Tired of living a lie, she divorces her befuddled husband and sets out to explore life as a newly single lesbian woman. Concerned that Rebecca will fall for the first sweet-talking sapphic sister she meets, her sister Alice challenges Rebecca to go out on ten dates with ten different women to explore Seattle’s lesbian dating scene. And she’s recruited all of her friends to try to fix Rebecca up! Little did she know dating women would...

This collection of the best crime and mystery short fiction of 1999, gathered from around the globe and including more award-winners and stories than any other comparable volume, fills the void for those with a hunger for the best international mystery and suspense stories.

A Novella from The Wedding Chase Anthology In a twist of fate, an innocent young lady and a handsome rogue were caught in bed together. But before their unavoidable marriage could begin, they found themselves facing an altogether unexpected challenge ... love!

It’s the tropical getaway they’ve all been wet dreaming about. After Jackson got his absurd wish, watching his wife with his best friend, his desire to see her with another man has only intensified. But his desire to see her with a woman, not just any woman, her best friend, it has him ready to rip through his swimsuit. Emmie still can’t believe she slept with her ex, in front of her husband. It’s awoken something in her, a longing for more. A longing for her gorgeous best friend, Jessa. It’s so out of character for tame little Emmie, she’s not convinced it’s really her doing ...

Fun in the sun is even more fun when two couples can play. Autumn and Sadie are polar opposites, one is wild and carefree, the other has only just experienced true pleasure for the first time while on vacation. Sadie is what Autumn always wanted to be, what she dreams about her life looking like now that she’s opened up a whole new world with Claudia and Grant. She can’t stop herself from repeating the fun she experienced last night with her best friend and her husband. Patrick doesn’t know what’s come over his wife. Okay, that’s a lie, he knows exactly what it is. So when she ...

Her voice is her brand. It’s also kind of a public safety concern. Marinella’s streaming channel serves up immersive sound, chill vibes, and just enough siren magic to keep her audience blissed out—without triggering another spontaneous group swim. But with sponsorships vanishing and rent climbing, she’s running out of ways to keep things ethical, engaging, and technically legal. Enter WaveSound: a glossy audio-tech giant with prototype headphones, aggressive KPIs, and one marketing director who’s a little too enthusiastic about her “authentic resonance.” They want her ...