Funny Science Fiction

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to think something isn't quite right. Even the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis, fails to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis.

There is another 1985, somewhere in the could-have-been, where the Crimean war still rages, dodos are regenerated in home-cloning kits and everyone is deeply disappointed by the ending of 'Jane Eyre'.

Special Agent Niki Banks has called in a favor, and now Taylor has a young hacker with an attitude as an employee. Along with new monsters to kill, a business to get off the ground, a relationship with an annoying FBI handler to...deal with, Taylor is becoming a surrogate male figure for a role he didn't want. But he may be the best man for the job.

Space Bimbos are human too, right? ...and Sam is finding he's their ultimate Alpha Male! Sam's a geek for alien abduction stories. Heck, he's even been seeking them out, hoping to join the ranks. His dreams were never quite like this, though, as he finds himself abducted by a crew of gorgeous Bimbos from Space!. Seems as if this long-lost human civilization doesn't have a clue about real men, and Sam's more than happy to teach them the hot and steamy truth. He'll need courage, wisdom, and all the stamina he can muster to protect his new benefactors from the harsh realities of the universe, ...

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

Chuck's Dead. Apparently that's good news. There are rules, though. Apparently, that's bad news. Chuck's mentor in Hell, Lucky, really isn't that good at his job and failed to mention to him that there was a big taboo about being intimate with the denizens of Heaven, succubi, and even the angels. That's not going to stop the two of them from having a great time in the afterlife, though! As he learns to navigate the pitfalls and the rewards, he continues to realize that the women of Hell want all the hard, fast, unprotected sex he can muster, their fertile bodies craving anything their man ...

Valentina Smart, a young chemist passionate about the Swinging Sixties, has finally cracked the ultimate experiment: a rejuvenation potion that lets you relive your youth for one unforgettable day. This is a dream come true for Adrian, Ghulam, and Jimmy—her trio of much older colleagues. Once more, they’ll be young, groovy, and ready to take on the world… or at least, the local pop music scene. But being young is never easy. As the boys navigate psychedelic parties, amorous mishaps, and a fan-crazed crowd, they start to realize that recapturing the past comes with a few unexpected ...

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

From humble origins as a farm boy, Hailo, now the destined Paired Warrior, embarks on a transformative journey. Deep within the Emerald Mountain range, he and his Dronigon companion, Gagu, undergo grueling training, forging a bond crucial to saving the realm of Tarawin from looming devastation. Battling isolation, hunger, and the biting cold, Hailo confronts not only the harshness of his new life but also the specter of repeated failures in his training. Yet, the call of destiny is unrelenting, dragging him from the brink of despair back into the fray. With the fate of countless lives ...

The eagerly awaited new audiobook from the Emmy-winning, Oscar-hosting, Daily Show-anchoring Jon Stewart - the man behind the mega seller America (The Book). Where do we come from? Who created us? Why are we here? These questions have puzzled us since the dawn of time, but when it became apparent to Jon Stewart and the writers of The Daily Show that the world was about to end, they embarked on a massive mission to write a book that summed up the human race.

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Space Bimbos are human too, right? ...and Sam is finding he's their ultimate Alpha Male! Sam's a geek for alien abduction stories. Heck, he's even been seeking them out, hoping to join the ranks. His dreams were never quite like this, though, as he finds himself abducted by a crew of gorgeous Bimbos from Space!. Seems as if this long-lost human civilization doesn't have a clue about real men, and Sam's more than happy to teach them the hot and steamy truth. He'll need courage, wisdom, and all the stamina he can muster to protect his new benefactors from the harsh realities of the universe, ...

When the Supreme Being and his son decide that being supreme isn't for them anymore, it's inevitable that things get a bit of a shake-up. It soon becomes apparent that our new owners, the Venturi brothers, have a very different perspective on all sorts of things. Take good and evil, for example. For them, it's an outdated concept that never worked particularly well in the first place.

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.

When a passenger check-in desk at Terminal Two, Heathrow Airport, shot up through the roof engulfed in a ball of orange flame, the usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA, then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one-in-a-million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic.

A follow-up to the New York Times best-selling The New Rules, The New New Rules delivers a series of hilarious, intelligent rants on everything from same-sex marriage to health care, from Republican agendas to celebrity meltdowns, with all the razor-sharp insight that has made Bill Maher one of the most influential comedic voices shaping the political debate today.