Funny Science Fiction

All his life, twelve-year-old Ben Grishop has been practically nonexistent. Hardly anyone knows who he is, he’s not good at anything no matter how hard he tries, and he blends into all chairs and benches. But when he and his friends Joe and Dana are abducted by aliens one fateful summer night, they have the chance to become famous for saving the universe. That is, if they can survive a planet full of giant, man-eating, French-speaking crabs, a pair of tuxedoed, gibberish-spouting men with handlebar mustaches, and the mysterious “immensely powerful, evil force from The Realm Beyond.” ...

Don’t be like Ciara, a twelve-year-old girl living in the tiny village of Skael. When she used a spell from within this book, she ended up summoning a dragon. A DRAGON! Those things breathe fire! From their mouths! She’s obviously doomed. And don’t listen if Ciara tells you that dragons won’t hurt humans, and that they even once taught us magic, a thousand years ago. Definitely don’t pay any attention to the fact that the dragon she summoned, Scorch, might be willing to help rescue Ciara’s mother and free her village from the Emperor and his Warden, because it’s all obviously a big lie.

You should know better than to ask for trouble, Ion. Trouble might be listening. Ion is on track to be a pilot for The United Space Coalition until his sister gets abducted in front of his eyes. Law enforcement proves to be useless and no one else cares, so it’s up to Ion to save her. Now, with the help of a distractingly handsome Arsen (who’s probably also a criminal) he’ll journey through the solar system to track her down - consequences be damned. But Ion’s list of crimes keeps growing and Arsen seems to have a talent for pissing off everyone he meets. It’s not long before half...

A restless young journalist with big dreams interviews a Hollywood heartthrob—and reunites with him ten years later to discover exactly how he feels about her in this sexy and engrossing novel.

Every Winter, the human population hibernates. Your name is Charlie Worthing, and it's your first season with the Winter Consuls, the committed but mildly unhinged group of misfits who are responsible for ensuring the hibernatory safe passage of the sleeping masses. You are investigating an outbreak of viral dreams which you dismiss as nonsense; nothing more than a quirky artifact borne of the sleeping mind. When the dreams start to kill people, it's unsettling. When you get the dreams, too, it's weird. When they start to come true, you begin to doubt your sanity.

"Between the pages of this book lies the secret to the best-tasting chocolate in all the world. I promise, your taste buds will tingle. Your palette will sing! Oh no, have I accidentally tempted you to read this book? I will warn you, however, the most delicious things are never good for you...and this story is particularly scrumptious!"

Twenty-plus sci-fi stories from the lighter side, many of them illustrated. More from the lighter, laughing side than the dark-dungeoned depths; but they’re all here somewhere, from a satisfied smile; or shed a tear. Maybe a “Yes! Get in there”. Or catch your breath at the trials that some have to face. From crackling two-pagers where someone hasn’t quite read the situation right, to sixty-plus sides chronicling what you really have to do if you want to survive on this planet. Tales of here and now, wondering what’s among us; or what awaits us amid the distant futures and far-...

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to think something isn't quite right. Even the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis, fails to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis.

Hailo, a typical high school teenager in his last year, at the bottom of the social ladder, always felt like he doesn't fit in. And how could he? Being adopted and having no recollection of his early childhood are not Hailo's only challenges. The blood of the notorious Northerners courses through his veins, evident in his features like a mark of Cain. Yet, Hailo is unaware that he is far from ordinary, a truth that only becomes clear to him after a series of unfortunate events unveil new and surprising facets of his identity. Forced to flee, Hailo embarks on a journey across the central ...

Rhett is strong. He’s heroic. He’s what every woman wants… …if only his wife would notice. Even without superpowers, Rhett fights side-by-side with Rayne, his superhero wife. Together, they’ve kept Summercoast safe for over eight years by defeating all sorts of dark forces. That was until now… There’s a new supervillain in town: a mad scientist with abilities this couple has never seen before. Dark Lightning is the first supervillain with powers stronger than Rayne’s, and the first villain that she can’t defeat. It’s like he knows everything about her—and it’s not ...

The Galactic Empire is missing its most precious resource: a sense of humor. Dax Bidet is just another unemployed, thirty-something slacker still living with his parents. Along with his best friend Buck, he spends his days making pranks and uploading them to social media. But things are about to take a drastic turn. When Dax and Buck are mistakenly abducted by aliens, they soon find themselves in a teeming galaxy sliding towards war. The only way to keep the peace is to regale the rebellious planets with… comedy. Dax has just been given the unenviable title of space clown. He has to ...

While Kelly struggles to come up with a research project to apply for sabbatical, the role-playing craze reaches Union Station, and the Open University offers a for-credit LARP. Dorothy finally finishes her wedding dress with a technical flourish, and Jeeves plots to recoup his costs.

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

A fun, fast, fantastical listen: After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In fact, my first assignment is to discover who murdered my predecessor.

Alba is about to lose everything during an awful divorce...until she meets the Vampires of Emberbury, who dwell under an abandoned graveyard, stuck in Victorian times. They will make her a very interesting job offer, and she will get to meet Clarence, a mysterious vampire gentleman who thinks cloaks and top hats are still in fashion. With his help, Alba will figure out that, sometimes, the scariest monster isn’t the one with fangs.

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.