Funny Science Fiction Fantasy

Don’t be like Ciara, a twelve-year-old girl living in the tiny village of Skael. When she used a spell from within this book, she ended up summoning a dragon. A DRAGON! Those things breathe fire! From their mouths! She’s obviously doomed. And don’t listen if Ciara tells you that dragons won’t hurt humans, and that they even once taught us magic, a thousand years ago. Definitely don’t pay any attention to the fact that the dragon she summoned, Scorch, might be willing to help rescue Ciara’s mother and free her village from the Emperor and his Warden, because it’s all obviously a big lie.

Nava Katz traded a lost dream for an impressively cynical attitude. The one thing she does care about? Her hard-working twin brother. Then she interrupts his induction ceremony into a secret supernatural society, accidentally torches his life-long ambition, and steals his destiny. Wait—whaaaat? She expects to be chastised, not thrown into a trial by fire, battling demons to keep humanity safe while she’s learning to master her powers and facing her worst nightmare: a purpose.

With each book containing 20 short fulfilling stories, this package includes 61 short stories! With Campfire Stories for Kids, the listener will find a fun collection of magical and spooky tales to delight your children. These stories have something for everyone. It is perfect for long days in the house or a gentle bedtime thrill. You and your kids will both love the variety. Have the peace of mind in knowing that your family is consuming mild content, safe for the enjoyment of even the youngest members!

In this fifth book in the Magykal series, Septimus ends up on a captivatingly beautiful island, one of seven set in a sparkling sea. He's stranded there with his badly injured dragon, Spit Fyre, along with Jenna and Beetle. There are some strange things about the island, including a Magykal girl named Syrah, a cat-shaped lighthouse that has lost its Light, and an eerie presence that sings to Septimus - can he escape the persistent call?

A fun, fast, fantastical listen: After an altercation with a clown, I get lost in the woods and find a strange town. When the librarian of the town dies in front of me, I try on his ring. It fits. I’m declared the new librarian by the mayor and townspeople. I get to live in a houseful of books. But I soon learn the job involves more than just tomes and information. In fact, my first assignment is to discover who murdered my predecessor.

A nightmarish danger threatens from the other side of reality. . . . Armed with only a frying pan and her common sense, young witch-to-be Tiffany Aching must defend her home against the monsters of Fairyland. Luckily she has some very unusual help: the local Nac Mac Feegle—aka the Wee Free Men—a clan of fierce, sheep-stealing, sword-wielding, six-inch-high blue men.

S.T., a domesticated crow, is a bird of simple pleasures: hanging out with his owner Big Jim, trading insults with Seattle's wild crows (i.e. "those idiots"), and enjoying the finest food humankind has to offer: Cheetos®. Then Big Jim's eyeball falls out of his head, and S.T. starts to think something isn't quite right. Even the slobbering affection of Big Jim's loyal but dim-witted dog, Dennis, fails to cure Big Jim's debilitating malady. S.T. is left with no choice but to abandon his old life and venture out into a wild and frightening new world with his trusty steed Dennis.

A Pi/Sci-Fi/Comedy/Thriller introducing Philip Humphrey Chandler as the socially inept hero who likes beer, coffee and breasts - but not necessarily in that order. Phil is private investigator; he's got a computer and a comfy chair, and he knows how to use them. He doesn't get all sweaty chasing the bad guys; not when his fingers can do the work as he sips his coffee and looks forward to a nice cool pint. He doesn't wrestle the perp to the ground, with a quick quip and a steely gaze; not when he can sit in his comfy chair and dream about the girl behind the bar; the one with the breasts. ...

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

The Lilac. The bard songs say that she’s the world’s most fearsome bounty hunter. That there’s no criminal she can’t catch, no mystery she can’t solve. None of that is true. Yet. In reality, the Lilac is just a kid, and the bard who wrote all that is her best friend, Dulcinetta. But the Lilac has set her goals on becoming the best bounty hunter in the Thirteen Kingdoms—and when a priceless artifact goes missing from the home of famed monster hunter Baron Angbar, the Lilac and Netta are eager to apprehend the thief and make a name for themselves.

Duke and Earl are just passing through Rockwood county in their pick-up truck when they stop at the Diner for a quick bite to eat. They aren't planning to stick around-until Loretta, the eatery's owner, offers them $100 to take care of her zombie problem. Given that Duke is a werewolf and Earl's a vampire, this looks right up their alley.But the shambling dead are just the tip of a particularly spiky iceberg.

The story is supposed to be over. Simon Snow did everything he was supposed to do. He beat the villain. He won the war. He even fell in love. Now comes the good part, right? Now comes the happily ever after.... So why can’t Simon Snow get off the couch? What he needs, according to his best friend, is a change of scenery. That’s how Simon and Penny and Baz end up in a vintage convertible, tearing across the American West. They find trouble, of course. (Dragons, vampires, skunk-headed things with shotguns.) And they get lost.

When the Spirit of Winter takes a fancy to Tiffany Aching, he wants her to stay in his gleaming, frozen world. Forever. It will take all the young witch's skill and cunning, as well as help from the legendary Granny Weatherwax and the irrepressible Wee Free Men, to survive until Spring. Because if Tiffany doesn't make it to Spring, Spring won't come for anyone.

There's trouble at the Castle, and it's all because Merrin Meredith has returned with Darke plans for Septimus. More trouble awaits Septimus and Jenna in the form of Tertius Fume, the ghost of the very first Chief Hermetic Scribe, who is determined to send Septimus on a deadly Queste. But Septimus and Jenna have other plans - they are headed for the mysterious House of Foryx.

Praise for Alice Crowley's writing: "I LOVED THE IMAGINATION OF THIS AUTHOR!" ~Satisfied Kindle Reader "FIVE STARS!" ~ Multiple Fans "Alice Crowley is one of our best living authors!" ~ G. Taylor Ciedre is just a young professional woman in the big city when she meets the hunk of her life named Shane, who rescues her from a gang of vampire aliens who are hell-bent on harvesting the blood of all earthlings. And to the victors go the spoils. After Shane saves the day, Ciedre demands he show her the ancient art of the erotic fist. And this mutant's fists are bigger than any mortal male's...

Jacques McKeown is the most celebrated author of star-pilot fiction in the galaxy. He's rich, famous, and living in luxury, and his universe-wide fanbase eagerly awaits any news of his next book. There's just one small hitch. He's not Jacques McKeown. He's Dashford Pierce, star pilot and con artist, and if only the impatient calls from his publisher were the worst of his problems. There's also the last vestige of the Henderson crime gang, trouble brewing in the retired star-pilot community, and a small matter of somebody trying to kill him.

Captain Willard Phule has whipped his troops into shape, turning Phule's Company from the laughingstock of the Legion into...a crack team of casino security guards. Now his company is deployed to help an underdeveloped planet. And what better way to utilize their major area of expertise - goofing off - than to turn the planet into the biggest intergalactic playground ever?

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

From humble origins as a farm boy, Hailo, now the destined Paired Warrior, embarks on a transformative journey. Deep within the Emerald Mountain range, he and his Dronigon companion, Gagu, undergo grueling training, forging a bond crucial to saving the realm of Tarawin from looming devastation. Battling isolation, hunger, and the biting cold, Hailo confronts not only the harshness of his new life but also the specter of repeated failures in his training. Yet, the call of destiny is unrelenting, dragging him from the brink of despair back into the fray. With the fate of countless lives ...

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.