Funny Memoir

She's spent thirty-five years in the public eye: 'Vanessa's Friends Say She's Drinking Custard!' Vanessa seizes her chance to set the record straight in this warm, witty, intensely human story. She spares no one's blushes, including her own. How could someone so clever make such cataclysmic mistakes? Vanessa's often wrong, but always relatable. She puts the 'Oh my goodness, I can never unread that paragraph!' into celebrity autobiography.

Introduction Welcome to the ctrl-alt-deleted version of my life. Once upon a time, I had a morning routine that didn’t involve stepping on LEGOs barefoot, explaining to a toddler why the cat can’t wear diapers, or muting myself mid-Zoom call because someone was screaming about the injustice of a banana being “too banana-y.” Then came motherhood. And then came remote work. And then came the apocalypse. (Okay, maybe not the biblical kind—but certainly a toy-strewn, schedule-destroyed, sleep-deprived version of one.) This isn’t a guide. It’s not a parenting manual. It’s not ...

Matt Knott spent more than a decade traveling the globe as a private tutor. He has taught Shakespeare in Moscow, times tables in Tuscany and is still trying to figure out how to explain long division. With brilliant honesty and wit, he takes us inside a world most of us only glimpse speeding past in a luxury SUV. Unfolding across four continents and featuring a colourful cast of butlers, billionaires and yummy mummies, this is a hilarious and touching chronicle of an unforgettable time.

The famed Internet personality - named one of Rolling Stone's Funniest People on Twitter and creator of the viral #notokay for women to share their stories of sexual assault - and best-selling author of Everything Is Perfect When You're a Liar turns her laser-like wit to anxiety, parenthood (or "the sheer insanity of being in charge of the safety and livelihood of three people besides myself"), popular culture, and more in this razor sharp essay collection.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like below the deck of a cruise ship? Where the smells are often so foul and the scenery so bland you completely forget you are on a world class floating vacation vessel? In her latest and only saga, Deedee Presser sheds light on the dirty details of cruise ship living as she chronicles her absurdly entertaining, nearly complete contract as sport staff aboard the MS Voyager of the Seas. Learn why you may want to avoid the health center unless you require a pregnancy test. And discover why so many pregnancy tests are needed (hint: the place is a floating ...

The Funny Thing About Bladder Cancer is my look back at the journey from health into sickness and finally back to health. I explore the doubt and fear of the early revelation, but also how acknowledging the ridiculous aspect of the situation helped keep the fear in check.

FULL COLOUR 30th ANNIVERSARY RECORD EDITION Rosco McGlashan is an icon of drag racing and an Australian land speed record holder. This book tells the unbelievable and remarkable story of his life, one of the best motorsports biographies and land speed record books you will ever read. The Kindle version comprises 390 action-packed pages, featuring 185 incredible colour photos of Rosco's life, cars, and racing career. His early years were very tough. He spent time in state-run homes and remand centres, eventually driving away from his home and school at twelve after a run-in with his family ...

The first two books in THE PEDLEY CHRONICLES series: BERYL, FRED AND A DOG CALLED TED: When Beryl and Fred decide to sell up and take a camper van tour around Spain with their lovable Cocker Spaniel, Ted, little do they realise how eventful their poorly planned trip will turn out to be. Intending to tour the whole country thoroughly in an anti-clockwise direction, one unexpected incident after another throws them off track and sees their faithful VW Camper, Vernon, transporting them to the south coast well ahead of any real or imagined schedule. Parked up and ready to enjoy the delights of ...

THREE MEN IN SPAIN is an omnibus edition of: THREE MEN IN A VAN by Jeremy Hastings ONE MAN IN A VAN by Geoff Corless IT’S NOT ABOUT THE VAN by Harry Storrar Please see individual book descriptions and reviews for more information.

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

STEADY ON, GEORGE! is the stirring and humorous account of the adventures of two mature men in Spain. Five months after his friend George becomes a widower, 76-year-old Mel Taylor finally gets his new knee into gear and flies out to visit him in Denia. Intending to stay for a couple of weeks, George soon whisks him off on a trip whose consequences threaten to turn his quiet life by the English seaside upside down. Despite the misgivings of his protective daughter Beth, Mel soon finds George’s desire for change and renewal so contagious that previously unthinkable ideas begin to seem quite...

Let’s be honest: life is hard. But baked potatoes? Baked potatoes are easy. They don’t argue. They don’t ghost you. They don’t have opinions on politics, social media, or what you’re binge-watching. They’re just warm, reliable, and always ready to listen—especially when you’re holding a fork. This book is a spud-soaked, butter-drenched journey into the heart and soul of one of the most underrated comfort foods of all time. From ancient tuber rituals to modern microwave hacks, from serious history to ridiculous humor, Fully Loaded will make you laugh, cry (mostly from ...

This book contains tales of dead dads, pretend dead dads, getting barred from an osteopath's, getting arrested, sex crimes and forgiveness. I used to be addicted to boys and alcohol and then men and alcohol and then some other things. I was a little unhinged. I've got some great stories about when I was as mad as cheese and then some more stories about how I got less mad and more happy. If that's the sort of thing you're after, please pick me up and take me to bed (that's the book speaking so a little joke there).

The Amy Binegar-Kimmes-Lyle Book of Failures is a funny memoir. If you have ever failed at love or finances, been fired, not fit in, self-diagnosed yourself with disorders and conditions, and/or said "I really need to get my s*** together", this is the book for you.

On Christmas Day of 1990, Leslie Jerome Silberman turned thirteen years old. He was a normal kid, with a best friend that was always one step ahead and a crush on a girl he didn't know anything about. Once he finished his homework, he had nothing but time on his hands. Enter the personal computer. More specifically, the dial-up modem. Dirty Pixels is a ridiculous and profane celebration of suburban male adolescence in the days just before America got Online. It’s a satirical look at the underbelly of the primordial Internet and the perils of friendship, heartache, softcore pornography, ...

Is it too late for Donna to find lasting love, or will she just repeat the same mistakes? Donna's love life is a mess. Years of online-dating has left her self-esteem in tatters. Now 56, she can boast a list of failed relationships longer than a grocery bill. When her spiteful daughter, Olivia, makes a scathing remark about her mother's love life, Donna sets out on one last quest to find Mr Right. It's 2020 and England is in lockdown, presenting a whole range of new challenges for daters. Donna's forays into the world of dating lead her on a series of calamitous adventures involving an ...

Until he was 17, Brett Preiss lived in the dusty outback of Australia, where he was one of four siblings in a dysfunctional family. He learned how to survive under the most bizarre and extraordinary circumstances. In this book, he shares the trials and tribulations of his youth through anecdotes that will leave you in tears of joy or sorrow. Travel back to the ’60s and ’70s and watch Brett transform from a sperm to adolescence.

Stitch Happens: Tales, Tangents & Tangled Threads from a Quilter’s Life is a heartwarming, hilarious, and relatable collection of real-life quilting stories—written for anyone who’s ever found joy (and chaos) in a pile of fabric. Whether you’re a seasoned stitcher with a studio full of scraps or a beginner still trying to figure out what a fat quarter actually is, this book wraps you up in the wonderfully imperfect world of quilting. From the emotional rollercoaster of binding baby quilts, to the mystery of vanishing quilt tops, to group quilt-alongs gone gloriously wrong—every ...

Have you ever wondered what really happens during the day when your precious little angels are at school? In this book, the Two Mr Ps take you on a side-splittingly funny journey through the weird and wonderful world of primary schools. They also explore the pressures of modern-day teaching, revealing exactly what it takes to wrangle a chaotic classroom (or seven) on a weekly basis. From the absolute characters found in the staffroom to school-trip mishaps and everything else in between, Put a Wet Paper Towel on It is a must-hear for teachers and parents alike.

* BERYL AND FRED IN SPAIN now available, containing this book plus A Cat called Cheryl, with Fred and Beryl at a reduced price.* When Beryl and Fred decide to sell up and take a camper van tour around Spain with their lovable Cocker Spaniel, Ted, little do they realise how eventful their poorly planned trip will turn out to be. Intending to tour the whole country thoroughly in an anti-clockwise direction, one unexpected incident after another throws them off track and sees their faithful VW Camper, Vernon, transporting them to the south coast well ahead of any real or imagined schedule. ...