Funny Horror

Bringing an insightful knowledge of film craft and his inimitable sense of humor to the analysis of films that maybe don’t deserve it is what Scott Telek chose to devote years of his life to. Here you will reap the fruits of his misguided enterprise as we cover 37 films in the horror genre, films that begin the letters N, O or P. Hilarious but intelligent, Telek’s writing results in movie reviews that are often more fun to read than watching the films themselves. In this volume we cover the killer-bunny classic Night of the Lepus, and have two films of the Nightmare on Elm Streetseries,...

A haunted stadium, a long-buried secret, and a team that’s better at banter than battling the supernatural. Can they crack the case, or will they end up on the sidelines?When Jackie Thompson’s paranormal documentary team is called to investigate eerie disturbances at Smoky Stadium, she’s skeptical but intrigued. Rumors of restless spirits, ghostly pranksters, and a notorious serial killer’s remains are too enticing to pass up. As the crew explores the maze-like underbelly of the iconic structure, they uncover more than just creaky floorboards. A scandalous history, spectral football...

From the lightly-scented pen of Scott Telek, whose writing has been celebrated on seventeen continents, comes another hilarious and insightful look at horror movies brilliant, good, good-bad, bad, bad-good, and just plain godawful. You will laugh, gasp, convulse, grind, harumph and gesticulate as you read Telek’s straight-talk reviews that look past the supposed quality of the films under discussion to break down the more salient question: Is it worth watching? Here we have 36 movie reviews of films beginning with either the letters H or I. This includes the Halloween series, the Hostel ...

Fans of Scott Telek’s film writing have come to expect an irreverent, insightful and often outrageously funny take on films from the good to the very, very bad. The tradition continues in this fourth volume, archiving 43 movie reviews in the horror genre, all beginning with the letter D. It turns out the letter D is a good one for horror, as it contains the words “Dead,” “Don’t,” “Demon” and “Dracula.” And if you were trapped on a desert island with these movies (as well as fresh water, food and a TV and DVD player!) you would actually be doing pretty well, as many fine ...

Telekfilm’s horror movie survey continues with this fifth installment, including 35 reviews of horror films that begin with the letters E, F and G. Scott Telek continues to supply film reviews that combine hilarious, off-the-cuff commentary with encyclopedic film knowledge and rare insight into movie writing unlike any other. Here we have a towering bad movie colossuses in Exorcist II: The Heretic, which will exhaust you with the shocking depth and scope of its awfulness, and truly deserves a special place of its own because… it simply cannot be believed. Then there’s major studio ...

Scott Telek’s movie writing has become a worldwide phenomenon on a microscopic scale. Those who have experienced his particular blend of snark, sarcasm, puerile humor and serious, intelligent criticism find it difficult to go back to conventional movie reviews that center themselves around assessments of celebrity star power and attempts to guess at modern views on culture war issues. Here we have 40 film reviews of horror movies whose titles begin with the letters J, K L or M. On the fun side, there is Kingdom of the Spiders, which is just a good time for all involved, and the go-for-...

From the snark-laden pen of Scott Telek, author of the acclaimed The Swithen series of Arthurian fiction, 33 humorous and insightful movie reviews in the horror genre. As fun to read as they are to watch—sometimes more so—Telek considers less whether a movie is “good” by mainstream standards and more whether it is interesting, thought provoking, individual and entertaining. Culled from the beloved cult website he ran from 2005 to 2013, this collection contains reviews of all three versions of Carrie, both the 1943 Cat People and its even-better follow-up, Curse of the Cat People, as...

When the world is ending around you do you just give up and die, or find a reason to make the best out of a bad situation? For John Earl and his friends, Luke and Anna, the unthinkable has happened and they can either stay put and hope "they", that mysterious they people are always going on about, will show up to save them, or they can do what they normally do and turn this into an adventure. They decide that hanging around, waiting to either become part of a giant barbecue or zombie bait, just isn't on their bucket list and head out for one last adventure before the end of the world ...

Milton Maroo, a portly space trader who enjoys a gourmet meal as much as a good deal, has priceless cargo, an outlawed artificial intelligence that the crime underworld will kill for. The billionaire head of the Nythe Armaments Corporation empire is dead. Murdered by the most powerful crime syndicate in the system who are after one thing, an illegal artificial intelligence that will change the balance of power in the region in favour of whomever possesses it. Milton and his spy friend Cappa are broke. While they do odd jobs at the billionaire’s estate they discover the Lerjoo Brothers ...

Can the Blood Flower save them all? Ezekiel isn't so sure. But he's not about to let Myra ride off alone into Sioux holy land to find out. When Jed gets sick, they need help, and Private Shane introduces them to Miss Calamity Jane. That's when the chaos starts. (This is book 3 of the Ezekiel Cool Weird Western Trilogy.)

A tragic fire, restless spirits, and a team that’s more quirky than qualified. Will uncovering the secrets of the grand theater be their final act?With Gabby on her shoulder and her team in tow, Jackie sets out to document the supernatural for her paranormal TV series. But, they soon discover more than dusty props and old playbills when a bitter rivalry from the past resurfaces and a ghostly duo with unfinished business appears. With a new producer on board and an unknown assailant threatening their safety, will they bring peace to the restless spirits of Hawthorne Hall, or will they find...

Saskia de la Cruz is a verity witch and investigative reporter for The Blood Web Chronicle, the biggest news outlet on the paranormal Blood Web. After escaping murderous vampires in snowy Moscow, Saskia can't imagine a more difficult or more dangerous mission. That is, until her editor sends her to Barcelona to investigate a high profile disappearance at the Mage Association, which just happens to be run by her evil mother Solina.

A haunted mansion, an unsolved murder, and a team that’s more misfit than mystical. Can she unravel the mystery, or will she become part of the legend?When Jackie Thompson’s best friend suggests her life could be a cozy mystery novel, she laughs it off—until the paranormal documentary she pitched finally gets the green light. Armed with her trusty team, her sassy parrot, and a psychic's knack for paranormal predicaments, Jackie dives headfirst into a haunting that stretches back over a century. As the eclectic crew digs deeper, they uncover more than just old letters and dusty ...

There is a harvest moon over Toulouse, but it’s going to be a very dark night. Eleven-year-old Micah Stevens intends to free the dogs from a puppy mill in the woods outside of town. Teenager Jenny Allard and her boyfriend Michael Kennedy have come up with a plan to get even with two of the school’s most notorious thugs. Gloria Downing is coming home after a decade running from her past. On this Indian summer evening in October of 1981, the little town is about to add several chapters to its long and bizarre history. Come along as award winning novelist, Chris Morrow, gives you the grand...

Orchestrated at the highest levels of society, the nation’s food supply has been hijacked and contaminated in the first step of a global plot. George Miles, a scientist, discovers something is wrong and joins grocery delivery driver Dustin Fowler on the trail through a world turning insane: terrorist wristware, inflatable farm equipment, a woman following her dream to become the world’s fattest person and Tolkien-themed Pyramid schemes all stand in their path to save everyone from a monstrous fate.

Milton Maroo, a portly space trader who enjoys a gourmet meal as much as a good deal, is wanted for murder in a strange star system on the brink of war. The Idon star system is fragile, crumbling from the outer planets in. At the edge, resentment boils in the Idonan people, whispers of uprising are growing. The palace, on the innermost planet, still projects order from a king increasingly out of touch with his subjects. Milton Maroo, the lone pilot of the trading ship, the Zenger, transports goods from system to system, most of it legal. On a run into the Idon system, his dazzling skills ...

Residential school stank while ‘Witch Hazel’ was alive. Now her ghost makes sure it keeps stinking after she’s dead. Fulton Convent was only a residential school for one year. Yet, it was open long enough for Witch Hazel to die. The convent got converted into a bed-and-breakfast that some review sites say is haunted. Sisters, Edna and Agnes Crawford, find themselves in the worst tourist trap imaginable. Their vacation is ruined when Witch Hazel possesses a skunk pelt. The angry ghost stink bombs the trapped guests over one long night. Will the sisters’ sanity survive this campaign ...

Nothing can harm them - or can it? There's a house on a hill at the very edge of the small town of Warren's End, a house that no one had any business in building up there. It's been said many times before now, but there's nothing quite like hindsight to bring everything into focus. Morris Stumper never was too good at taking advice, even when that advice could save a person a bushel load of heartache. Unfortunately, this hill was once the site of a cemetery with a ghastly history. Morris, anxious to pay as little money as possible for a home with a view, heedlessly sat his house on the ...

She never wanted to be special. But when her best friend is possessed, can she master a sudden telepathic power and exorcise a teen spirit? Sam is perfectly happy being normal, thank you. She can’t see ghosts or communicate with the dead, and she only recently made peace with their talking cat. But when a gum-smacking teen from the Eighties, possesses a friend’s body, she’s suddenly thrust into the neon-lit spotlight of a murder mystery with a retro twist. Just when she thinks she has a plan to find the killer and set the wise-cracking spirit free, things heat up in more ways than one...

Are you a fan of addictive and suspenseful serial killer stories with unpredictable characters? "Four Hours" is the thrilling short story for you! “Twisted, trippy, and unique, 'Four Hours' is as dark as it is entertaining.” ~Bestselling Author Emerald O’Brien The high-rise on Fifth and Main is home to many eccentric characters, the types of suit-wearing men who buy exotic pets and import plants the likes of which aren’t available in stores. But when the doors close for the night, the building hosts another breed: those hired solely to care for these exotic acquisitions, those who ...