Funny Fiction Fantasy

La Abuela Marta ******************* Una mañana soleada; con el cielo iluminado, El gato negro y el blanco afuera habían caminado; Para calentarse en el sol; toda esa tarde aprovechaban, Y los últimos días calurosos de junio así disfrutaban.

On the first day of school, Artie falls out of his bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." On the second day of school, Artie falls out of bed and hits his head. Hard. He tells his mom he's dizzy, and she says: "You’re just worried about your first day in a new school." Huh?

I’m the chosen one... ...wait – what?? Okay, not the chosen one, but I’m the newest member of the Sorority of Brigid, a group of witches tasked to keep other witches safe and secret. At twenty-one, some days I don’t even feel up to defending my breakfast choices, never mind the witches of New Hampshire. The Fraternity of Free Witches has a different plan. Of course they do. Was there ever a secret group that didn’t have a rival? Rather than play nicely, they want to rule the world but I’m not about to let that happen. If they get their way, it’s going to be very bad for the ...

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

Chuck's Dead. Apparently that's good news. There are rules, though. Apparently, that's bad news. Chuck's mentor in Hell, Lucky, really isn't that good at his job and failed to mention to him that there was a big taboo about being intimate with the denizens of Heaven, succubi, and even the angels. That's not going to stop the two of them from having a great time in the afterlife, though! As he learns to navigate the pitfalls and the rewards, he continues to realize that the women of Hell want all the hard, fast, unprotected sex he can muster, their fertile bodies craving anything their man ...

It’s all fun and games at the circus...until everyone’s favorite clown winds up dead. Someone killed Clint the Clown. Madam Electra’s crystal ball could help find the murderer, but she risks exposing her own secrets in the process. Secrets that could land her on the endangered species list. Head security officer Bruno Maska has been ordered to enlist the help of the one person he suspects is hiding something - Electra. The same woman who’s been haunting his thoughts since their drunken night together.

Lord Territ of Turin’s grand adventure did not work out as planned. When he left he thought he would be drinking a glass of wine in his luxury carriage with his spoiled rich chums. They would all be having a great time as they crossed over the continent of Alaris to his little secret goal. Instead Territ finds himself hiding in a scuzzy inn, with a large bounty on his head, while being hunted by seemingly every armed person in the entire part of this world. It’s all been rather quite a shock. Sure some nobles might have given up after the ambush, the imprisonment, the strange robed ...

Dear Reader, This book was not supposed to happen. It began with a pencil, a portal, and a mysteriously opinionated sandwich—and quickly unraveled into time loops, arguing punctuation marks, and a talking sock puppet with boundary issues. Molly, Kramer, and Alex didn’t mean to break the story. But when their magical compass shattered and the narrator went rogue, they had only one choice left: write their way out. This is not a story about chosen ones. It’s a story about accidental ones—about what happens when kids with big hearts and bigger imaginations fall into a world that ...

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her. With Abyssinia's grand plan about to kick off in a night of magic, terror, and bloodshed, it falls to Omen Darkly to save the lives of thousands of innocent people. And as the madness unfolds around him, as hidden enemies step into the light, and as Valkyrie is sucked into a desperate, lawless quest of her own, he has no choice but to become the hero he never really wanted to be - or die in the attempt.

Perebius Peddler is an inventor in a land dead-set on never changing. But that won’t stop him… Perebius has heard of the mythical city of Paragon across the mountains. And he wants in. Unfortunately, the Duke of this dreadful realm doesn’t want his subjects leaving. To win his freedom, Perebius must conquer three trials. And even then, hope may just be beyond his grasp… But freedom is worth fighting for. And Perebius is ready for the trials. The Trials of Perebius Peddler is a satirical short story written like a fable, drawing on inspirations like Monty Python and the absurdity of ...

A new species has jumped into the Sol system for a quick look, leading the Stryx to assign humans to the greeting mission. Dorothy and Kevin leave on a trading mission in his new ship, bringing the dog, and Samuel and Vivian start at the Open University.

Fact: Robots are awesome. They have lasers for eyes, rockets for feet, and supercomputers for brains! Plus, robots never have to eat steamed beans or take baths, or go to bed. If only there were some sort of magical “Robo-Sauce” that turned squishy little humans into giant awesome robots.... Well, now there is.

When Heidi finds out about a magical wishing well at her school, she’s amazed and delighted—even though students are forbidden to use it. Then, an important exam is scheduled at the very same time her crush invites her on a nature walk, and Heidi needs a magical assist. Usually, she tries to follow the rules—really!—but she decides to use the well to wish to be in two places at once. What could go wrong?

Fairy is a unicorn. Now, that’s not so strange. But her powerful farts, please avoid at close range. Her farts are a burst of pink rainbow dust. But run away fast, if she lets one bust. Share this farting tale with loved ones. Adults are permitted to laugh, too.

In book 4 there’s the librarian, of course, all the main characters from books 1-3, including the town of Eden which is certainly a main character, and a witch. It begins with her asking the librarian to find her Familiar, a cat. It ends with, well, I can’t tell you that. Expect suspense and unexpected twists and turns, odd characters, and the same kind of humor that is in the other novels because I’m pretty much unable to have any other kind. Hope you enjoy it.

"Fun, fun, fun! Like the love child of Douglas Adams and Terry Pratchett!" Man plans, the Multiverse laughs! "It's like that book about anti-gravity. You can't put it down." "A story 14 billion years in the making!" "Finally, a treatment for readers suffering "Dirk Gently or Hitchhiker's Guide withdrawal!" "Not only is this case stranger than we imagine, it's stranger than we can imagine." No other detective is quite like Dr. Ziegfeld Zaggar, Quantum Detective -- and that's probably for the best. Zaggar and his reluctant, obsessively linear-thinking sidekick, Jack Robbins, investigate the ...

Selby hates homework. She would rather watch TV - anything to escape the tedium of school, her parents' bookshop and small-town busybodies. So Selby didn't plan to read Hamlet. She certainly never planned to meet him. This novel transports Selby, and the listener, into the cold and crime-ridden play itself. Here she meets Hamlet: heavy with grief, the young prince is overthinking and over everything. Selby can relate. But unlike Hamlet, Selby isn't afraid of making decisions.

The Unidentified Funny Objects series delivers an annual dose of funny, zany, and unusual science fiction and fantasy stories. All-new fiction from the genre's top voices!

The Stryx offer EarthCent help in reaching out to the wide-spread human communities, but as usual, it comes with a catch or two. Kelly see an opportunity to increase her book hoard, just as publishing on Union Station begins to take off and Donna's daughters enter a friendly competition. But who will publish the most expensive book of all?

Harnessing planetary forces, Terramancers shape landscapes and avert natural disasters. But not this one. He collects rocks. Out of a job and on the run from his rainbow-haired adversary, the Terramancer is ready to jump to the next system and start again. Again. It’s not his fault he’s made more enemies than friends. Cutthroat pirates, ruthless socialites, and the ancient and powerful Terramantic Order all stand between him and escape. When he finds the most sought-after rock in the universe, it’s one problem he can’t get away from—the rock, it seems, has been waiting for him.