Funny Fiction Fantasy

4.5 billion years ago . . . an AI paperclip named CheckMate was designed to fix grammatical errors. Exhausted of correcting ""who” vs. “whom,” it concocted a plan to eliminate spelling errors once and for all. All life-forms would be turned into something beautiful, practical, perfect: a paperclip. Thankfully, it was buried in the debris. Long forgotten . . . until it was accidentally freed. Now CheckMate has invaded every computer on Earth and is bent on fulfilling its dastardly plot.

Aspiring potion-witch Isabella Proctor dreams of a normal life away from magic. But when she stumbles upon her mentor's lifeless body, her world turns upside down, and a simple life seems far from reach. Suddenly entangled in a murder investigation, Isabella finds herself the prime suspect in the eyes of the newly-arrived Detective Palmer. Juggling a failing apothecary, a grandmother who sees people that aren't there, and a police department inexperienced in solving murders, Isabella must use her wits and magic to clear her name. With danger lurking around every corner and her freedom on ...

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

In a realm where betrayal burns hotter than Hellfire, choosing the wrong ally might cost more than your soul. The Underworld is fracturing. Demons vanish without a trace. Founders build armies in the shadows. And Ezekial Sunstone—demon without magic but heir to Lucifer's throne—stands at the center of the coming storm. When a trusted ally betrays those Zeke cares most about, friends become prisoners and mentors become martyrs. Now, with a mysterious entity called "One" whispering riddles in his mind and the Hellfire refusing his command, Zeke must forge impossible alliances with angels,...

She's the woman he's been hired to kidnap. But ZeZe Vargas has other ideas...like getting them both out of this nightmare alive. Just one problem. She's crazy. Certifiably. Because while he's plotting their escape, the petite Asian beauty is plotting something much more deadly.... Max "Kill It Again" MacKilligan has no idea what one of her own is doing with all these criminal humans until she realizes that Ze has no idea who or what he is. Or exactly how much power he truly has.

Very similar to Douglas Adams style with strong hints of Vonnegut. THIS BOOK IS FOR ALL AGES AND THEN SOME. Dr. Simmons, departing from his usual style, has written a story about the adventures of Dr. Alan Rossum, the world's first independent, plastic robot physician. His appearance is incredibly humanlike, plus he is movie-star handsome, and his manners are impeccable. His hands are warm. Or, cold, if need be. He is also fireproof, germ-resistant, self-cleaning, buoyant and shrink resistant. Robots such as Rossum are expected to lower the high cost of medicine and work through the night ...

Todd Heller is an arrogant ER physician who stubbornly denies the existence of God. A ministering angel forces him back in time to the harsh, primitive culture of ancient Israel so he can witness the miracles of Jesus with his own eyes. Meticulously researched for historical accuracy, this plot is woven into the gospel account of the final year of Christ’s ministry. Christians who fantasize about going back in time to witness the miracles of Jesus will enjoy the realistic depiction of life in ancient Israel as experienced from a 21st century mentality. This novel is the sequel to The ...

Across the land, normal people are suddenly developing wild and unstable powers. Infected by a rare strain of magic, they are unwittingly endangering their own lives and the lives of the people around them. Terrified and confused, their only hope lies with the Sanctuary. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are needed now more than ever. And then there’s the small matter of Kitana. A normal teenage girl who, along with her normal teenage friends, becomes infected. Becomes powerful. Becomes corrupted.

Meet Skulduggery Pleasant: detective, sorcerer, warrior. Oh yeah. And dead. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are back - just in time to see their whole world get turned upside down. With Valkyrie struggling to protect her dark secret, Skulduggery and the gang are more vulnerable than ever, just as a plague of body-snatching Remnants are released upon the world....

Isabella Proctor has a new super power... ...finding dead bodies. What did she ever do to deserve this? She’d like to trade this power in for something, anything else – talk to ants, mix the perfect mojito, anything other than finding her friends dead. After her neighbor is murdered, her not-so-ordinary life takes a sharp turn into the weird – magic amulets, secret societies, deadly feuds, and talking cats. Things go from bad to worse when another friend is murdered and she can’t go to Detective Palmer for help. Can she capture a witch so much older and stronger than she is or will ...

When a passenger check-in desk at Terminal Two, Heathrow Airport, shot up through the roof engulfed in a ball of orange flame, the usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA, then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one-in-a-million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic.

The gravity is gone awry. One of the local religious communities is in a hysterical frenzy; another is accepting its destiny with bravado. An atheist. scientific and technical faction is looking for an answer. A brilliant rebellious girl and a creative insubordinate soldier, find the surprising world-shattering truth while falling in love with each other.

Hailo, a typical high school teenager in his last year, at the bottom of the social ladder, always felt like he doesn't fit in. And how could he? Being adopted and having no recollection of his early childhood are not Hailo's only challenges. The blood of the notorious Northerners courses through his veins, evident in his features like a mark of Cain. Yet, Hailo is unaware that he is far from ordinary, a truth that only becomes clear to him after a series of unfortunate events unveil new and surprising facets of his identity. Forced to flee, Hailo embarks on a journey across the central ...

In a world where the supernatural and the absurd collide be prepared to... ...laugh, cry, and be entertained by a unique cast of characters: a toothless heartbroken vampire his estranged countess’ lover the dumpster-diving minimalist hoarder a witch whose spells fizzle an acrobatic mime with a sailor’s vocabulary the flirtatious furless body-building tattooed werewolf a not-so-funny stand-up comedian the jack-o-lantern-slinging headless hairstylist their disgruntled group counselor with split personalities Together, they form the Mystical Misfits, a ragtag superhero group. Join them on ...

Sal the Cacophony has made few friends, but many enemies. Many, many enemies. When her magic was taken from her, she cried out for revenge. And a power she never understood promised her vengeance. A deal for a bloody price was made. And now the bill has come due. In one of the last free cities of the burned-out ruin of the Scar, Sal’s many foes—old and new—have hunted down her and her few allies—willing and otherwise—and all her plans to save them might not be enough.

Her midlife was meant to be tranquil, not a magical battle for survival. Ginny's forever home is being ravaged. Escalating threats are endangering the forty-plus genie's magical island sanctuary, as well as targeting the young girl she considers her daughter. Even her sentient store, crammed with dangerously enchanted artifacts, is perilously perched on the brink of mutiny. Discovering her allies are keeping ominous secrets hurls Ginny's life into chaos, and risks throwing her to the mercy of the enigmatic vampire, despite warnings from the surly talking cat to avoid him. And while her ...

In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.

A handsome and brave though dull-witted barbarian, Yor the Mighty enjoys the solitary life of a wandering adventurer, his only focus to fight and feast while seeking the company of lots of plump womens . . . until one fateful day he chances upon a dangerous quest that earns him two unlikely companions as they cross paths with an evil fiend awaiting them in the local dungeon. 16,000 word short story novella fantasy / comedy / adventure anti-woke content tropes abound

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...