Funny Fiction Fantasy

Sophie Sweet is a game programmer who adores three things: writing code; Doritos Surprise, the one thing she can cook; and her ride-or-die BFF Jodie Edwards. And only those three. To Sophie, people are a lousy bunch of jackasses who lie and leave when you need them most, so why bother? That goes double for "love," a ridiculous fairy tale sold to women to keep them subjugated and cooking things besides Doritos Surprise, which is madness. Sophie and Jodie have a tradition of getting their fortunes read at the carnival, but this year there's a new surprise in town-Tiffani the Psychic. The ...

Her midlife was meant to be tranquil, not a magical battle for survival. Ginny's forever home is being ravaged. Escalating threats are endangering the forty-plus genie's magical island sanctuary, as well as targeting the young girl she considers her daughter. Even her sentient store, crammed with dangerously enchanted artifacts, is perilously perched on the brink of mutiny. Discovering her allies are keeping ominous secrets hurls Ginny's life into chaos, and risks throwing her to the mercy of the enigmatic vampire, despite warnings from the surly talking cat to avoid him. And while her ...

Meet Skulduggery Pleasant: detective, sorcerer, warrior. Oh yeah. And dead. Skulduggery Pleasant and Valkyrie Cain are back - just in time to see their whole world get turned upside down. With Valkyrie struggling to protect her dark secret, Skulduggery and the gang are more vulnerable than ever, just as a plague of body-snatching Remnants are released upon the world....

In consequence of a number of stunning catastrophes, Arthur Dent is surprised to find himself living in a hideously miserable cave on prehistoric Earth. However, just as he thinks that things cannot get possibly worse, they suddenly do. He discovers that the Galaxy is not only mind-boggingly big and bewildering but also that most of the things that happen in it are staggeringly unfair.

Her midlife should be bursting with calm, not the chaos of feuding children and a rampaging dragon. Ginny Smyth's life just got traumatizingly tangled. The beleaguered 40-plus genie had enough on her plate thwarting a deranged dragon shifter from incinerating her enchanted island sanctuary. The absolute last thing she needs is for her warring children to magically appear from thin air and become the center of the perilous danger. With ominously menacing threats plunging her eclectic mix of friends into an ever-increasing torment of despair, Ginny is once again thrust into the volatile debt ...

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

This Bedtime Stories for Kids has it all! Each tale mixes mindfulness and meditation research with expertly crafted children's tales to encourage your child to let their imagination run wild while re-establishing a connection to the present. Three distinct calming background selections are available for each enthralling tale, allowing you to tailor the experience to your child's tastes.

Sinister marauders. A grief-stricken sea monster. And a magical midlife destiny hurtling into chaos. Ginny Smyth's so-called idyllic new life keeps throwing chaotic curveballs. The fraught forty-one-year-old genie tasked with safeguarding menacing magical artefacts she thought she'd seen it all—until nightmare-inducing beasts pushed the threat to terrifying new heights. And when a new friend’s fate teeters on a knife's edge, she scrambles to act fast before the blade falls, leaving nothing but devastation. With danger lurking at every turn, Ginny leans more heavily on her hot dragon-...

On a desperate journey to recover her sister's lost soul, Valkyrie Cain goes up against the High Sanctuary itself, and there's nothing Skulduggery Pleasant can do to stop her. With Abyssinia's grand plan about to kick off in a night of magic, terror, and bloodshed, it falls to Omen Darkly to save the lives of thousands of innocent people. And as the madness unfolds around him, as hidden enemies step into the light, and as Valkyrie is sucked into a desperate, lawless quest of her own, he has no choice but to become the hero he never really wanted to be - or die in the attempt.

Stress-free weekend in Boston... ...not when the woman who owns the business next to yours is murdered. Isabella had planned a stress-free weekend at a small-business conference with her cousins. Instead of learning how to cross-promote her apothecary, she's got another murder to solve. But will the Boston Police Department let her? The obvious suspect is the victim's abusive husband... ...until he comes up with an iron-clad alibi. Even then, Isabella is convinced he's the culprit. But if he’s guilty, why did he call Detective Palmer to help with the investigation? When a second person is...

Alba is about to lose everything during an awful divorce...until she meets the Vampires of Emberbury, who dwell under an abandoned graveyard, stuck in Victorian times. They will make her a very interesting job offer, and she will get to meet Clarence, a mysterious vampire gentleman who thinks cloaks and top hats are still in fashion. With his help, Alba will figure out that, sometimes, the scariest monster isn’t the one with fangs.

WHITE CAT BLACK CAT - The Hunter ******************************************** One hot summer day, in front of the fan The white cat was sweating as only cats can When outside the window he suddenly spied A tiny bird chirping on the other side. The cat stretched hard, from his back to his front, And thought, “What a great day to go out and hunt!”

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.

Sky Simmons is 11 years old, mildly allergic to boring things, and absolutely incapable of leaving any mystery alone. Especially when a door shows up in her basement that wasn’t there yesterday. What begins as a weird creak and a whisper soon explodes into an unforgettable journey filled with living hallways, forgotten memories, and a janitor with a mop and a vendetta. In this thrilling and funny middle-grade tale, Sky faces her fears—and the fears of others—as she tries to save her brother, a lost friend, and maybe the entire world from becoming part of the hallway that never forgets.

Risk-averse Greg Belmont is content with being ordinary. He's got a friend - that's right, just one - at his fancy prep school, and a pretty cool dad (even if he is obsessed with organic soaps that smell like a mix of salted pork and Icelandic bog). The problem is, Greg isn't ordinary... he's actually a fantastical Dwarf! He discovers the truth the day his dad brings home a gross new tea - one that awakens bizarre abilities in Greg. Then a murderous Bro-Troll kidnaps his dad and Greg is whisked away to the Underground, where Dwarves have lived for centuries right beneath Chicago.

A clueless daughter. An unhinged fae vampire. Can this genie resist the wish to flee midlife before she's retired from the land of the living? Ginny just wants some peace. But the beleaguered 40+ divorced genie faces the arduous test of preparing her oblivious daughter to gain the genie crown to prevent them from being hurled into a doom-filled destiny. All while battling an ancient fae vampire hell-bent on turning her life into a terminal tornado of turmoil. But when the earth-shattering secrets of her friends-turned-family start to unravel, they threaten not only Ginny's last nerve but ...

Fact: Robots are awesome. They have lasers for eyes, rockets for feet, and supercomputers for brains! Plus, robots never have to eat steamed beans or take baths, or go to bed. If only there were some sort of magical “Robo-Sauce” that turned squishy little humans into giant awesome robots.... Well, now there is.

Sal the Cacophony has made few friends, but many enemies. Many, many enemies. When her magic was taken from her, she cried out for revenge. And a power she never understood promised her vengeance. A deal for a bloody price was made. And now the bill has come due. In one of the last free cities of the burned-out ruin of the Scar, Sal’s many foes—old and new—have hunted down her and her few allies—willing and otherwise—and all her plans to save them might not be enough.

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...