Funny Fantasy Adventure

“Ahoy there, gentles, I’ve a tale to sell, For pennies I’ll tell it, but silver speaks well; And silver-tongued must your humble bard be, To speak of an age so wild and free; To sing of a lady, oh hear my voice swell, Who’d tickle your fancy while ringing yer bell…” Join the Nymphomancer, Astra and her oversexed familiar Flick on their humorously erotic travels through the Long-Thorn Wood and into the repressed heart of the Terilian Empire. Pack your sense of humour, a change of underwear and your best chainmail bra.

Blood tells all. Vervain Lavine has been through Hell. Two Hells actually, one of which she's been barred from. Despite all that, things are going pretty well for the Godhunter. At least they were until she turned on the news. Crops across America are dying, children in Hawaii are missing, and havoc is being wrecked upon her nightclub, Moonshine. It's obviously God messing with her again but which one is it this time? There's so many gods who want her dead these days. Then one wrong word sends her tumbling into an unknown realm. A strange place filled with even stranger beings who seem to ...

Welcome to Backyard County, Mississippi—where the dirt is rich, the compost is gourmet, and the worms are smarter than they look. Meet Riley the Red Worm, a scrappy, sharp-witted underdog who just wants peace, quiet, and a prime spot in the compost heap. But when the legendary Night Crawler Nate slithers in from Fisher’s County with charm, muscle, and a mysterious agenda, Riley finds himself in the middle of the squirmiest showdown the soil has ever seen. With an all-star cast of bug buddies, a moldy villain threatening the entire garden, and a secret human experiment creeping closer ...

Welcome to Crayton Middle School—where the vending machines eat your change, the janitor closet leads to another dimension, and one kid’s sketchbook might be the only thing standing between the school and total reality-erasure. Dexter “Doodle” Dalton isn’t your average sixth grader. Armed with a magical pencil that brings his drawings to life—and an attitude somewhere between sarcastic and snack-obsessed—Dexter finds himself at the center of a mystery no one else even realizes is happening. When Ms. Pine, the school’s quirky art teacher, vanishes in the middle of class, the ...

Class would be different this semester. Clara was going to be sure of that. Her new life at Crossedlake made her feel happier and more at home than anywhere else, regardless of the tragedies that had happened. Although she felt strange after her encounter with the god of another realm, she still felt confident and ready for anything. Her confidence was knocked down a peg when she was thrust into the path of death on her first day of school, barely surviving thanks to a strange creature she promptly forgot about when she returned to the real world. Choosing necromancy as your specialization ...

Klawde is not your average cat. He's an emperor from another planet, exiled to Earth. He's cruel. He's cunning. He's brilliant...and he's about to become Raj Banerjee's best friend. Whether he likes it or not.

Teach your child patience! * * * * * * * * * "You forgot the mail?" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. 子どもたちに辛抱について教えてくれる１冊！ 「郵便を忘れただと？」王様はカタツムリ君に...

The spirit of a warrior lies deep inside a bard. Deep down. Way, way down. Jonas wakes up each day regretting his position as the king’s bard. He dreams of escaping the kingdom and returning to life as a traveling musician with his best friend Elrick. But when his love Bree is taken prisoner in the castle, he and Elrick must act. Their attempts at rescue go horribly wrong, and the king marks them for death. Now they must flee the kingdom with a hefty reward on their heads. Meanwhile, the king’s soldiers march to war, placing Bree’s hometown in their path of destruction. Jonas must go ...

Fort Fitzgerald can’t stop having nightmares about the day his father was taken from him in an attack on Washington, DC. In these dreams, an Old One, an evil beyond comprehension, demands the location of the last dragon. But other than some dragon skeletons dug up with the books of magic on Discovery Day, Fort has never seen a dragon before. Could there still be one left alive? And weirdly, Fort’s not the only one at the Oppenheimer School having these nightmares. His new roommate, Gabriel, seems to know more than he’s letting on about this dragon as well.

Welcome to Bezim, where sword-slinging bravi race through the night and rich and idle alchemists make magic out of mixing and measuring the four planes of reality. Siyon Velo, Dockside brat turned petty alchemist, scrapes a living hopping between the planes to harvest ingredients for the city’s alchemists. But when Siyon accidentally commits an act of impossible magic, he’s catapulted into the limelight—which is a bad place to be when the planes start lurching out of alignment, threatening to send Bezim into the sea.

I’ve been trained as a cheat, a thief, a charlatan, and a swindler. But though I’m good at what I do, nothing can prepare me for my final dungeon tour—into the abyss of Oberon’s Bane. This dungeon is a hedge maze of twisting corridors with no entrance, exit, or center. And the worst of the Unseelie are imprisoned there for crimes as hideous as they are incomprehensible. Somewhere within this maze of death is Goodfellow’s Eye—a gemstone I’ve been hired to retrieve. Luckily for me, I’ve got my team with me—Cade, the paladin, Roc the bard, Odon the barbarian, and Aram…my ex...

When a passenger check-in desk at Terminal Two, Heathrow Airport, shot up through the roof engulfed in a ball of orange flame, the usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA, then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one-in-a-million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic.

Harnessing planetary forces, Terramancers shape landscapes and avert natural disasters. But not this one. He collects rocks. Out of a job and on the run from his rainbow-haired adversary, the Terramancer is ready to jump to the next system and start again. Again. It’s not his fault he’s made more enemies than friends. Cutthroat pirates, ruthless socialites, and the ancient and powerful Terramantic Order all stand between him and escape. When he finds the most sought-after rock in the universe, it’s one problem he can’t get away from—the rock, it seems, has been waiting for him.

Little Monster has something very important to tell you. It is okay to become sad or angry with your friends, but under no circumstances should you try to nibble them. Remember, don't eat your friends! This book for early readers has about 900 words and 14 illustrations.

In a realm where betrayal burns hotter than Hellfire, choosing the wrong ally might cost more than your soul. The Underworld is fracturing. Demons vanish without a trace. Founders build armies in the shadows. And Ezekial Sunstone—demon without magic but heir to Lucifer's throne—stands at the center of the coming storm. When a trusted ally betrays those Zeke cares most about, friends become prisoners and mentors become martyrs. Now, with a mysterious entity called "One" whispering riddles in his mind and the Hellfire refusing his command, Zeke must forge impossible alliances with angels,...

There is another 1985, somewhere in the could-have-been, where the Crimean war still rages, dodos are regenerated in home-cloning kits and everyone is deeply disappointed by the ending of 'Jane Eyre'.

The Griffin Moonstone: Book Three of The Moonstone Legacy Series Some days it doesn't pay to be the hero. Consumed by grief and revenge, Noah can't remember what a shower feels like. When the Estonian Coven plasters his face on wanted posters, Castle Dragon hides him away in the enchanted Cromwell Forest. Tricked into solving a ghost's murder, Noah finds himself on a quest to unravel the mystery of the Griffin Moonstone. Just another day in the life of a probationary apprentice wizard who can't keep his mouth shut. Jesse tracks him down—goodbye, secret hideout—with a crazy plan to enter...

Cas Russell is good at math. Scary good. The vector calculus blazing through her head lets her smash through armed men twice her size and dodge every bullet in a gunfight, and she'll take any job for the right price. As far as Cas knows, she’s the only person around with a superpower...until she discovers someone with a power even more dangerous than her own. Someone who can reach directly into people’s minds and twist their brains into Moebius strips. Someone intent on becoming the world’s puppet master. Cas should run, like she usually does, but for once she's involved.

"It's not that I want to kill those people; I'm not a monster. I'm just not that dramatic about them dying in case it's necessary for my plans." King Sorin the Great, The First of His Name Far away, in a remote corner of the empire, King Sorin is the charismatic yet deeply flawed king of Aragonia. He is about to perform the first step in his grand plan to dethrone the emperor and take his place when everything around him begins to fall apart. Nevertheless, Sorin is determined to overcome the obstacles and fulfill his plan (without compromising his afternoon nap routine). He is dragged ...

After saving the grim and gritty alien city of Down Here from something big, mean, and mind-bendingly horrible, Dan is looking forward to unwinding in the closest available bar. Annoyingly, the universe has other ideas. Instead, Dan finds himself investigating a cheating husband, two horrible murders, and the potential enslavement of everyone in the galaxy. With his caseload stretching his woefully limited detective skills, his car in pieces, and the whole "being dead" thing not doing him any favors, Dan has no choice but to ask his friends for help.