Funny Diaries

My name is Pancho. I am a very small dog with a very big problem. When my family decided to fly across the country for a family reunion, I was terrified. Airplanes are loud. Airports are crowded. And I do not have the best track record when it comes to staying calm under pressure. Thankfully, I had help. My therapist, Dr. Poopsalot, and my best friend Tank worked hard to prepare me for the trip. We practiced breathing exercises. We tackled fake turbulence drills. I even faced a vacuum cleaner without hiding in the laundry basket. I was ready. Or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me ...

Suburban Cleveland housewife Helen Spall has three difficult kids and a tax-attorney husband who’s inclined to be brutally frank about her shortcomings. Then she inherits a rundown house in a blue-collar town on the shores of Lake Erie, and her life begins to blossom. She investigates a once-popular, now forgotten novelist and her mysterious connections to Helen’s family. With her marriage dissolving and a possible new love in her life, Helen encounters surprise after surprise as she uncovers the many secrets that lay buried in those seductive novels.

What is worse than not knowing whether a cute boy likes you or not? Not knowing whether two cute boys really like you or not! Lily the good witch is totally confused. Is she being set up at the annual cheerleading competition by one of the district's meanest bullies, or does a boy finally have a crush on her? In a bid to win the cheerleading championship for her school for the first time, Lily encounters disaster after disaster on their scramble up the leader board. There are so many catastrophes, it seems to be a little bit more than just bad luck, and Kaitlyn, Lily's team mate and friend,...

‘Diary of a Wickedly Cool Witch’ contains a wonderful concoction of magical mystery, a squeeze of fantasy, a splash of realism, and a huge dash of crazy humor, with a little bit of romance stirred in - for older middle grade children and teenagers. A cool holiday book for middle grade girls and young teenagers about bullies, boys, and Christmas baubles. What sort of girl steals boyfriends? Especially when you don’t even have a boyfriend to steal in the first place. Once again Lily, the good-hearted, 12 year old witch, steps up to the challenge when the school’s meanest cheerleaders,...

The Halloween Harvest (Herobrine's Library of Horror: Book Two) Drop the candy and run! NOW!!!! Jane and her friends are in for a real treat this year. The Pumpkin Man is coming for their souls. He's not just another urban legend. No, he's very real... This spine tingling thriller will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. Who will survive The Halloween Harvest?

Q: Who wants their five star funny story included in Oakfield School's story book? A: Everyone! But what will Tom write about? Inspiration strikes when he looks at his excellent collection of odd objects and remembers the funny stories behind each one. Starting with Great Great Aunt Aggie's fake bird hat, the weird stone with a hole and his very special doodle pen. Marcus wants to write about Tom (which is annoying), Amy's got a funny poem and Norman's story is all about...cheese. But Mr Fullerman can only choose the five star stories – will Tom get his work in on time?

Meet Tracie Martin - Luton Town’s longest serving Wag. There's nothing she doesn' like about her life. From the acrylic nails and Louboutin shoes to the terrifying amounts of fake tan. Tracie loves it. Being a Wag is all she ever wanted. But as a new football season starts, she's getting concerned...there is a breed of Wag at Luton who aren’t quite playing by the conventional Wag rules. Some of them have skirts so long they are almost covering their knickers, and their skins are natural in hue, rather than resembling the colour of a cheesy Wotsit. Do they know nothing about being a Wag?...

A MONOLOGUE BOOK FOR ANYONE TRYING TO FIGURE LIFE OUT. YOU'LL APPRECIATE THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE, TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THE WORLD. GREAT FOR AUDITIONS AND FOR GENERAL DISCUSSIONS. UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL, ESPECIALLY GREAT FOR PERFORMANCE PIECES WHEN YOU WANT TO STAND OUT. MALE AND FEMALE AND ANDROGYNOUS CHOICES

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

Every story starts with a single idea, a spark that sets your imagination on fire. Sometimes you might yearn to tell a story but can't find that initial spark. Maybe you just need one fresh idea to coax that wimpy flicker into a roaring, magical blaze? To that end, I’ve created a list of silly, funny, interesting, and crazy prompts that you can use to get your imagination burning. All you need to do is take one prompt (or throw a dozen together) and write down your notes and ideas in the space provided. I hope you have a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to read your stories! 5-Star Review ...

Are you dreaming of becoming the very best like no one ever was? How far will your adventures take you? From the same author who brought you the sprawling epic DIARY OF A MINECRAFT LEGEND comes the Legendary tale of a Pokémon Go player whose adventure would be unlike any other. What could have been but a simple hunt for a Pokémon in his city soon becomes much more when the hero of our story realizes that his version of Pokémon Go seems different. Our hero sees Pokémons where others don't and he can even contact a mysterious entity that seems to live within the game itself. Has it ...

If you thought that 2019 was a bad year, then wait until you get a load of 2020. We started the year with out of control bushfires in Australia, threats of World War III between the U.S.A. and Iran and then came the big one, the Pandemic. Nobody could have foreseen a small "flu" virus which started in China late in 2019 becoming the dominating force in 2020 and changing our lives forever. If you like reading factual information on a day-by-day basis, a journey through 2020 written with my own particular brand of sarcastic humour, then this is the book for you. It's is my account of what ...

Michael Carter is 12 years old, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. The Ninjas have to figure out how to stop the ghosts, but how? At least with the zombies and the aliens, they kind of knew how to stop and fight them. Ghosts? Not so much. They’re just like farts that developed consciousness.

Join Paul and Rob as they ditch their walking boots for something a little faster—an electric car. But not just any electric car, oh no—a first-generation Nissan Leaf. That’s right, our intrepid duo is setting out on a road trip across England to answer the ultimate question: Can you actually go on a road trip in an electric car? Spoiler alert: the answer might just be “sort of, but it’s complicated.” Will the car make it to the next charger? Will the charger even exist when they get there? And if it does exist, will it actually work? As Paul and Rob discover, there are a lot of...

The Felix Diary Thingy is a constant and reliable source of upliftment in a world gone awfully confused. The Felix and his subordinates (the Dogheads, The Piggles, the Cockatiel Horde, two Dactyls, and his ever confused Trainee) along with a rotating cast of animate and inanimate objects will keep you in stitches (not the kind you get from Dr. Noseitall when you cut yourself.) Join this unlikely Presidentialing candidate as he deals with The Low Blood Sugars, Pistachio shortages, Booger Trees, Weirdo Neighbors, Doghead butt-snorfling and yellow pellet poisoning. You can't go wrong with a ...

The first two books in THE PEDLEY CHRONICLES series: BERYL, FRED AND A DOG CALLED TED: When Beryl and Fred decide to sell up and take a camper van tour around Spain with their lovable Cocker Spaniel, Ted, little do they realise how eventful their poorly planned trip will turn out to be. Intending to tour the whole country thoroughly in an anti-clockwise direction, one unexpected incident after another throws them off track and sees their faithful VW Camper, Vernon, transporting them to the south coast well ahead of any real or imagined schedule. Parked up and ready to enjoy the delights of ...

STEADY ON, GEORGE! is the stirring and humorous account of the adventures of two mature men in Spain. Five months after his friend George becomes a widower, 76-year-old Mel Taylor finally gets his new knee into gear and flies out to visit him in Denia. Intending to stay for a couple of weeks, George soon whisks him off on a trip whose consequences threaten to turn his quiet life by the English seaside upside down. Despite the misgivings of his protective daughter Beth, Mel soon finds George’s desire for change and renewal so contagious that previously unthinkable ideas begin to seem quite...

Sue “Shoefly” McKinley isn’t your average middle schooler. Sure, she’s got friends, a locker full of mismatched socks, and a personality that practically kicks down doors—but she also happens to be the reigning queen of stomp. Known for her no-nonsense attitude and lightning-fast right hook (of the footwear variety), Sue lives by one rule: never let ‘em see your laces untied. From schoolwide mysteries and underground PTA shoe cults to flying high-tops and runaway fashion shows, Shoefly Sueis the wild, witty, and wonderfully weird adventure of a girl who believes in justice... ...

"What if Pikachu was a hard-boiled detective?" That's what Nintendo asked of us when they revealed this new and unexpected direction for our favorite Pokemon. Join Pikachu in gritty, quirky, upbeat and unexpectedly dramatic cases but make sure to read them in order or you'll soon find yourself lost in a whole world of intrigue where a wide cast of intricate characters will share their past, present and future with you.

There is a new girl at Billie's school, and Billie takes it upon herself to show her around, teach her the Biscuit Laws and remind her that, yes, two women can get married (after all, Billie's mums' wedding is the event of the year). But then suspicion sets in. The new girl seems very close to Billie's best friend, Layla. And doesn't she know a little too much about the latest big school heist - the theft of Mrs Robinson's purse?