Funny Diaries

The Felix Diary Thingy is a constant and reliable source of upliftment in a world gone awfully confused. The Felix and his subordinates (the Dogheads, The Piggles, the Cockatiel Horde, two Dactyls, and his ever confused Trainee) along with a rotating cast of animate and inanimate objects will keep you in stitches (not the kind you get from Dr. Noseitall when you cut yourself.) Join this unlikely Presidentialing candidate as he deals with The Low Blood Sugars, Pistachio shortages, Booger Trees, Weirdo Neighbors, Doghead butt-snorfling and yellow pellet poisoning. You can't go wrong with a ...

Are you ready for the zombie apocalypse? Ever wonder what it would be like to be a real life ninja kid? Sounds like you need the ninja code! Take a peek at what is really going on with the zombie apocalypse. Michael Carter, with a handful of new friends, a dog with secret abilities, and his fart brother, need to find a safe place to hide.

Up until now, middle school hasn't exactly been a joyride for Greg Heffley. So when the town threatens to close the crumbling building, he's not too broken up about it. But when Greg realizes this means he's going to be sent to a different school than his best friend, Rowley Jefferson, he changes his tune. Can Greg and his classmates save their school before it's shuttered for good? Or is this the start of a whole new chapter for Greg?

Greg Heffley and his family hit the road for a cross-country camping trip, ready for the adventure of a lifetime. But things take an unexpected turn and they find themselves stranded at an RV park that's not exactly a summertime paradise. When the skies open up and the water starts to rise, the Heffleys wonder if they can save their vacation-or if they're already in too deep.

Justin is a huge fan of Halloween, and it’s the first one that his Mom is allowing him to wear a cool costume: a Clone Trooper. Unfortunately, he can’t seem to stay out of trouble, and his parents have threatened to keep him home while the other kids go trick-or-treat if he can’t get his act together. His teacher took away his recess for the entire month, and he’s been grounded every weekend. If that’s not bad enough, the rest of the classes at school are busy planning fun parties and activities, and his teacher has him doing research! His troubles started when he accidentally let...

Meet Tracie Martin - Luton Town’s longest serving Wag. There's nothing she doesn' like about her life. From the acrylic nails and Louboutin shoes to the terrifying amounts of fake tan. Tracie loves it. Being a Wag is all she ever wanted. But as a new football season starts, she's getting concerned...there is a breed of Wag at Luton who aren’t quite playing by the conventional Wag rules. Some of them have skirts so long they are almost covering their knickers, and their skins are natural in hue, rather than resembling the colour of a cheesy Wotsit. Do they know nothing about being a Wag?...

Are you dreaming of becoming the very best like no one ever was? How far will your adventures take you? From the same author who brought you the sprawling epic DIARY OF A MINECRAFT LEGEND comes the Legendary tale of a Pokémon Go player whose adventure would be unlike any other. What could have been but a simple hunt for a Pokémon in his city soon becomes much more when the hero of our story realizes that his version of Pokémon Go seems different. Our hero sees Pokémons where others don't and he can even contact a mysterious entity that seems to live within the game itself. Has it ...

Dear Reader, This book was not supposed to happen. It began with a pencil, a portal, and a mysteriously opinionated sandwich—and quickly unraveled into time loops, arguing punctuation marks, and a talking sock puppet with boundary issues. Molly, Kramer, and Alex didn’t mean to break the story. But when their magical compass shattered and the narrator went rogue, they had only one choice left: write their way out. This is not a story about chosen ones. It’s a story about accidental ones—about what happens when kids with big hearts and bigger imaginations fall into a world that ...

If you thought that 2019 was a bad year, then wait until you get a load of 2020. We started the year with out of control bushfires in Australia, threats of World War III between the U.S.A. and Iran and then came the big one, the Pandemic. Nobody could have foreseen a small "flu" virus which started in China late in 2019 becoming the dominating force in 2020 and changing our lives forever. If you like reading factual information on a day-by-day basis, a journey through 2020 written with my own particular brand of sarcastic humour, then this is the book for you. It's is my account of what ...

THREE MEN IN SPAIN is an omnibus edition of: THREE MEN IN A VAN by Jeremy Hastings ONE MAN IN A VAN by Geoff Corless IT’S NOT ABOUT THE VAN by Harry Storrar Please see individual book descriptions and reviews for more information.

FROM THE FOREWORD BY MILLIE STEVENTON My Uncle Stan was a grumpy man when he began to write to me from Spain and he can’t be said to have mellowed much with age. This book contains only his letters to me, as his old-school habit of always referring to my missives removes the need to include my supportive, and sometimes censorious, replies which possess little of the descriptive power and mostly unintentional humour of his own copious correspondence. In a way I suppose that in the last few years I have been his only constant and empathic contact with the rest of humanity and this first ...

STEADY ON, GEORGE! is the stirring and humorous account of the adventures of two mature men in Spain. Five months after his friend George becomes a widower, 76-year-old Mel Taylor finally gets his new knee into gear and flies out to visit him in Denia. Intending to stay for a couple of weeks, George soon whisks him off on a trip whose consequences threaten to turn his quiet life by the English seaside upside down. Despite the misgivings of his protective daughter Beth, Mel soon finds George’s desire for change and renewal so contagious that previously unthinkable ideas begin to seem quite...

Jeff Kinney's eighth audiobook of this hilarious and highly successful series, and Greg Heffley and his friends now have a whole new set of adventures. Greg Heffley's on a losing streak. His best friend, Rowley Jefferson, has ditched him, and finding new friends in middle school is proving to be a tough task. To change his fortunes, Greg decides to take a leap of faith and turn his decisions over to chance. Will a roll of the dice turn things around, or is Greg's life destined to be just another hard-luck story?

What happens when a clever, rule-bending, meatloaf-loving pup decides to keep a daily journal of his misadventures? You get Confessions of a Naughty Dog—a hilarious, heart-tugging, and occasionally slobber-covered memoir told entirely from the paws of Nugget, a stubborn pit bull with a nose for trouble and a heart of gold. From epic escapes under the fence to surprise garden stakeouts, Nugget’s “letters to Dogery” capture a year’s worth of laugh-out-loud antics, wild backyard operations, and a noble quest for snacks, justice, and maybe—just maybe—graduating obedience school. ...

Join Paul and Rob as they ditch their walking boots for something a little faster—an electric car. But not just any electric car, oh no—a first-generation Nissan Leaf. That’s right, our intrepid duo is setting out on a road trip across England to answer the ultimate question: Can you actually go on a road trip in an electric car? Spoiler alert: the answer might just be “sort of, but it’s complicated.” Will the car make it to the next charger? Will the charger even exist when they get there? And if it does exist, will it actually work? As Paul and Rob discover, there are a lot of...

My name is Pancho. I am a very small dog with a very big problem. When my family decided to fly across the country for a family reunion, I was terrified. Airplanes are loud. Airports are crowded. And I do not have the best track record when it comes to staying calm under pressure. Thankfully, I had help. My therapist, Dr. Poopsalot, and my best friend Tank worked hard to prepare me for the trip. We practiced breathing exercises. We tackled fake turbulence drills. I even faced a vacuum cleaner without hiding in the laundry basket. I was ready. Or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me ...

* BERYL AND FRED IN SPAIN now available, containing this book plus A Cat called Cheryl, with Fred and Beryl at a reduced price.* When Beryl and Fred decide to sell up and take a camper van tour around Spain with their lovable Cocker Spaniel, Ted, little do they realise how eventful their poorly planned trip will turn out to be. Intending to tour the whole country thoroughly in an anti-clockwise direction, one unexpected incident after another throws them off track and sees their faithful VW Camper, Vernon, transporting them to the south coast well ahead of any real or imagined schedule. ...

It’s January 1st and Brian Bilston is convinced that this year, his New Year’s resolution will change his life. Every day for a year, he will write a poem. It’s quite simple. Brian’s life certainly needs improving. His ex-wife has taken up with a new man, he seems to constantly disappoint his long-suffering son and at work he is drowning in a sea of spreadsheets and management jargon. So poetry will be his salvation.

There is a new girl at Billie's school, and Billie takes it upon herself to show her around, teach her the Biscuit Laws and remind her that, yes, two women can get married (after all, Billie's mums' wedding is the event of the year). But then suspicion sets in. The new girl seems very close to Billie's best friend, Layla. And doesn't she know a little too much about the latest big school heist - the theft of Mrs Robinson's purse?

A MONOLOGUE BOOK FOR ANYONE TRYING TO FIGURE LIFE OUT. YOU'LL APPRECIATE THERE ARE OTHERS OUT THERE, TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF THE WORLD. GREAT FOR AUDITIONS AND FOR GENERAL DISCUSSIONS. UNIQUE AND ORIGINAL, ESPECIALLY GREAT FOR PERFORMANCE PIECES WHEN YOU WANT TO STAND OUT. MALE AND FEMALE AND ANDROGYNOUS CHOICES