Funny Diaries

Please do NOT buy this expecting a Bilbury style book! The fourth in Vernon Coleman's series of diaries. (The other four books are: 'Diary of a Disgruntled Man', 'Just Another Bloody Year' and 'Bugger Off and Leave Me Alone'' and 'Life on the Edge'). A book for the politically incorrect who can question and laugh at the absurdities of modern life. Warning:This book contains considerable quantities of irony and English humour, and some readers may be allergic to the contents. What the papers say about Vernon Coleman: 'Coleman is a very funny writer' - This England 'Superstar' - Independent ...

After the international success of The Laughing Policeman and Cop Out, I'm back with another collection of disasters—recently unearthed travel stories that prove I should never be allowed to leave New Zealand. Armed with misplaced confidence and a talent for finding trouble, I've managed to stumble around the globe with unfortunate friends who really should have known better. From the depths of the Bornean jungle to the mean streets of Belfast during 'the troubles', I've blundered through it all, creating chaos and completely overestimating my abilities at every turn. Join me on these ...

Middle-schooler Greg Heffley charts the rise of his teenage brother's band, Löded Diper, as they live out their rock-and-roll dreams. But things could get messy for Greg and Rodrick when the Diper hits the road.

David Lee Stone has been a chronic oversharer since the moment he first learned to talk. In this brutally honest memoir told through a series of therapy sessions David recounts many hilarious tales from the 80s and 90s, recounting the lessons he’s learned. These include cautionary tales on why it’s never a good idea to deal with retail customers' complaints using a sock puppet, why it was entirely possible to order obscene items that didn’t exist back in the glorious days of Blockbuster Video, why discovering what your dog REALLY thinks of you is a bad idea and how the sort of BMX ...

Justin has been looking forward to winter break since the first day of school. It's finally arrived and he can't wait for some lazy days at home and time off from 4th grade. Unfortunately his family has different plans and they don't include relaxing at home. He thinks school is the worst, but a week off might just have him begging to go back!

When snow shuts down Greg Heffley's middle school, his neighborhood transforms into a wintry battlefield. Rival groups fight over territory, build massive snow forts and stage epic snowball fights. And in the crosshairs are Greg and his trusty best friend, Rowley Jefferson. It's a fight for survival as Greg and Rowley navigate alliances, betrayals, and warring gangs in a neighborhood meltdown. When the snow clears, will Greg and Rowley emerge as heroes? Or will they even survive to see another day?

Every story starts with a single idea, a spark that sets your imagination on fire. Sometimes you might yearn to tell a story but can't find that initial spark. Maybe you just need one fresh idea to coax that wimpy flicker into a roaring, magical blaze? To that end, I’ve created a list of silly, funny, interesting, and crazy prompts that you can use to get your imagination burning. All you need to do is take one prompt (or throw a dozen together) and write down your notes and ideas in the space provided. I hope you have a lot of fun, and I can’t wait to read your stories! 5-Star Review ...

Michael Carter is 12 years old, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. A new house, a new school, parents as busy as whirlwinds, and a sister who’s the master of torture. The only good thing Michael can think of is his faithful dog, Rocky. That is, until he makes a new friend and learns about the ninja code. But can a farting janitor and a secret code help him against the danger he’s suddenly faced with?

Q: Who wants their five star funny story included in Oakfield School's story book? A: Everyone! But what will Tom write about? Inspiration strikes when he looks at his excellent collection of odd objects and remembers the funny stories behind each one. Starting with Great Great Aunt Aggie's fake bird hat, the weird stone with a hole and his very special doodle pen. Marcus wants to write about Tom (which is annoying), Amy's got a funny poem and Norman's story is all about...cheese. But Mr Fullerman can only choose the five star stories – will Tom get his work in on time?

Meet Tracie Martin - Luton Town’s longest serving Wag. There's nothing she doesn' like about her life. From the acrylic nails and Louboutin shoes to the terrifying amounts of fake tan. Tracie loves it. Being a Wag is all she ever wanted. But as a new football season starts, she's getting concerned...there is a breed of Wag at Luton who aren’t quite playing by the conventional Wag rules. Some of them have skirts so long they are almost covering their knickers, and their skins are natural in hue, rather than resembling the colour of a cheesy Wotsit. Do they know nothing about being a Wag?...

Justin is a huge fan of Halloween, and it’s the first one that his Mom is allowing him to wear a cool costume: a Clone Trooper. Unfortunately, he can’t seem to stay out of trouble, and his parents have threatened to keep him home while the other kids go trick-or-treat if he can’t get his act together. His teacher took away his recess for the entire month, and he’s been grounded every weekend. If that’s not bad enough, the rest of the classes at school are busy planning fun parties and activities, and his teacher has him doing research! His troubles started when he accidentally let...

THREE MEN IN SPAIN is an omnibus edition of: THREE MEN IN A VAN by Jeremy Hastings ONE MAN IN A VAN by Geoff Corless IT’S NOT ABOUT THE VAN by Harry Storrar Please see individual book descriptions and reviews for more information.

An unexpected inheritance gives the Heffley family a chance to make major improvements to their home. But they soon find that construction isn't all it's cracked up to be. When things get rough, will the Heffleys be able to stay...or will they be forced to move?

Up until now, middle school hasn't exactly been a joyride for Greg Heffley. So when the town threatens to close the crumbling building, he's not too broken up about it. But when Greg realizes this means he's going to be sent to a different school than his best friend, Rowley Jefferson, he changes his tune. Can Greg and his classmates save their school before it's shuttered for good? Or is this the start of a whole new chapter for Greg?

Greg Heffley and his family hit the road for a cross-country camping trip, ready for the adventure of a lifetime. But things take an unexpected turn and they find themselves stranded at an RV park that's not exactly a summertime paradise. When the skies open up and the water starts to rise, the Heffleys wonder if they can save their vacation-or if they're already in too deep.

This is a two-volume ebook edition of Doreen and Ken Tonks’ amusing, down-to-earth books about their life in southern Spain. Please see individual titles for descriptions and reviews.

Michael Carter is 12 years old, and everything's going wrong. Every. Single. Thing. The Ninjas have to figure out how to stop the ghosts, but how? At least with the zombies and the aliens, they kind of knew how to stop and fight them. Ghosts? Not so much. They’re just like farts that developed consciousness.

(THE TONKS IN SPAIN containing SETTLING IN SPAIN and PROSPERING IN SPAIN is now also on sale at a reduced price.) Ken E. Tonks, husband of the celebrated travel writer Doreen B. Tonks, has finally put pen to paper to give his version of their first months in Spain, before recording the exciting events of the following spring and summer. Ken, usually a man of few words, bares his soul in this eventful narrative set on and around the Costa del Sol. His budding friendship with Fede the artist proves to be his passport into a life far removed from the insular expat community, and the singular ...

My name is Pancho. I am a very small dog with a very big problem. When my family decided to fly across the country for a family reunion, I was terrified. Airplanes are loud. Airports are crowded. And I do not have the best track record when it comes to staying calm under pressure. Thankfully, I had help. My therapist, Dr. Poopsalot, and my best friend Tank worked hard to prepare me for the trip. We practiced breathing exercises. We tackled fake turbulence drills. I even faced a vacuum cleaner without hiding in the laundry basket. I was ready. Or so I thought. Nothing could have prepared me ...

The Halloween Harvest (Herobrine's Library of Horror: Book Two) Drop the candy and run! NOW!!!! Jane and her friends are in for a real treat this year. The Pumpkin Man is coming for their souls. He's not just another urban legend. No, he's very real... This spine tingling thriller will have you on the edge of your seat from start to finish. Who will survive The Halloween Harvest?