Funny Clean

I’m Seymour…Parakeet Detective. My owner, Sharon, and I are on the Sasquatch watch! The creature stalking quiet Mountain Springs is nosy and newsworthy. We’ll find out more than we bargained for. This monster may hold the key to my human existence in a bird body. But I’ve got to survive to find out. Jump in with Sharon and Seymour for a cozy mystery with a paranormal twist.

Her good heart has a really bad plan--destined to fail spectacularly.Nanny and grad student Eliza has a harebrained, movie plot-based scheme to teach her terrible boss a lesson: find a wretched hobo, give him a Hollywood makeover, and trick the selfish woman into falling for him and becoming a better person. What could go wrong? Hint: everything. Henry, the hunky lost traveler with the dashing Australian accent that weakens Eliza’s knees, is game. More than game. For Eliza, he gladly gets a glow-up, debuts at a film premier, and plays the role of the fake rich dude on a posh, exclusive ...

A small-town, sweet southern romance about finding home where you least expect it. Runway model Charlie Weston is used to flashbulbs, fast flights, and faking perfection. Burnt out and hiding from the headlines after a very public fall from grace, she escapes to the last place anyone would look—Dent County, Missouri, population nosy and proud of it. She’s just here to breathe. To disappear. To stay until the dust settles. But then there’s Jackson Sharp—a quiet, stubborn craftsman who prefers wood over words and thinks Instagram is a brand of crackers. He’s everything Charlie ...

Jennifer Collins thought the hardest chapter of her life had finally closed. After losing her mother to cancer and learning how to live with grief, she’s just beginning to breathe again. With her best friend Beth now married and moving forward, Jen finds herself feeling more alone than ever—until he comes back. Hunter Wright walked away when Jen needed him most. No goodbye. No explanation. Just gone. Now, years later, he’s returned to Salem, Missouri with a smile that still turns her knees to jelly and eyes that hold far too many memories. Jen’s not sure if she wants to yell at him,...

After meeting a man on a plane ride but not getting his name, Skye Blumerson cannot stop thinking about him. Her sister, Sunny sets up a date with her co-worker, Kevin. Skye starts to fall for him, but still can’t get over the man on the plane. When a rival sparks with another architect in town and the two start going for the same jobs, Skye’s annoyance is at an all-time high--especially when emails between the two are flying. Can she build love and her career or will it all come crumbing down around her?

These clean jokes will make you laugh for hours! This audiobook is perfect as a gift for your dad, bros, or as a collection of jokes to tell your kids.

Sometimes the future needs a little help from the past... They fell in love at Christmas. Time to take the next step. Eliza Jones and Tom Piper are destined to be together. Last year, thanks to fate, a snowed in train, and a little Christmas magic, they fell in love. A year has passed, long enough for their love and their careers to grow. Unfortunately, Pine Ridge is still no closer to LA than it was last year. Tom's tree farm in Pine Ridge isn't portable. Not to mention, he's getting used to being mayor, and has the opportunity to make lasting positive changes for Pine Ridge. Likewise, ...

When the town playboy Robert Knox is killed, Shepherd Fall’s baker Janelle becomes the prime suspect. After all, she was the last one to see him alive, and was linked to him romantically. But Jean knows there’s no way someone as sweet as Janelle could be a killer! Diving head first into Rob’s life creates ripples in the town, and Jean quickly learns he was the cause of many secrets. A dentist and his pregnant wife, a waitress, and a reporter all seem to be a part of the web Rob found himself caught in. As things become more dangerous, Jean realizes that she’s caught in the web too, ...

Sherrie Giddens introduces you to her most laugh-out-loud moments as she and her family travel the US. Readers will feel as if they are walking alongside her, as she describes life as a card-carrying member of the klutz club. Her honest look at being a wife and mother, while creating family oriented memories, is a hilarious mixture of unforeseen circumstances and misunderstandings, which seem to be her constant companion as she stumbles her way from one location to the next. Join her, as she runs for her life, is mistaken for a corpse, and feeds a few alligators. Add a little laughter to ...

When your job is helping heartbroken people break back into their lives after nasty breakups, falling for the city's top security system designer definitely isn't in the business plan. Olivia Chen is the locksmith you call when love lets you down—part emotional therapist, part professional lock-picker. Marcus Rivera designs the security systems that keep people out, and he's the best in the business. When a high-profile divorce puts them on opposite sides of the same door, their professional rivalry ignites into something far more dangerous to their hearts. As they find themselves picking...

Magic, Murder, and a Meddling Parrot—Welcome to Aria’s World! Wedding specialist Aria Whitmore thought picking up an antique wedding dress would be easy. Then the owner, Fletcher Davenport, turns up dead—possibly killed by magic. Now, Aria is the prime suspect. Juggling bridezilla clients, a nosy mother, and a snack-obsessed, wisecracking parrot familiar, Aria has no time for murder accusations. But if she doesn’t clear her name fast, she might be next on the killer’s list. With time running out and magic in the air, Aria must solve the case before the real killer gets away. ...

Imagine you're one of the smartest people in the country and you're barely old enough to drive. With a brain that size you become the priceless prey for the powerful and greedy. I keep sharp so I'm no one's 'nerd'. But when I'm forced to join four other geniuses (including a beautiful but driven hottie named Taylor) to work on a "corporate sponsored' project with connections to murder and espionage...I have to put my IQ into high gear. It's a deadly race to save myself, my friends...and maybe even the world.

Quirky Faith Pierson loves her life in rural Vermont. Especially in December when she throws herself into the local holiday festivities. Widower Graham Westfall doesn’t have time for Christmas. After missing the mark on his last ad campaign by a New York mile, his job now hangs in the balance. He has one month to come up with a new campaign or he’s out. He arrives in Holly Pointe planning to work the month away while his twin daughters spend time with their grandmother.When he discovers there’s no room at Gramma Ginny’s Inn, his only choice of lodging is the one place in Holly ...

Deadly Threads A Thread & Tangle Mystery – Book One By M.C. Needleton Welcome to Ivy Ridge — where the quilts are colorful, the gossip is quick, and murder is always one stitch away. Everly Faye Galloway isn’t just the owner of A Stitch in Time, Ivy Ridge’s beloved quilt shop — she’s also a lifelong lover of vintage mysteries, strong tea, and a good hometown scandal. But when a break-in at her shop leads to the discovery of a dead body, Everly is forced to swap her needle for a magnifying glass. The victim? A stranger… with a surprising link to the town librarian. The lead ...

New roots, old love, and a whole lot of wild. After years away, Emma Wild is back on the family farm, ready to rebuild her life one stubborn donkey and broken fence at a time. With her siblings by her side, she’s determined to turn Wild Roots Farm into a thriving success. But lurking among the hay bales and memories is one particularly pesky ghost from her past—Oren McCoy. Oren, the guy who shattered her heart and then vanished like a tumbleweed, is back. And wouldn’t you know it, he’s still maddeningly good-looking. Worse, he’s got that sheepish smile and a knack for making her ...

Wren Sterling has a problem. Her charming, arrogant ex is getting married, and the thought of him seeing her dateless at the wedding is giving her hives. Enter Operation Pretend Boyfriend: a desperate plan to hire an actor to play the role of her doting, successful new beau. Ronan Hayes is perfect for the part. Handsome, charming, and with a knack for making grandmothers swoon, he’s ready to give Wren’s ex a serious case of regret. But as Wren and Ronan navigate disastrous dance lessons, competitive croquet matches, and a runaway swan with a vendetta against designer suits, their ...

Fantastic possibilities and terrible consequences. When her job interview goes down in flames, archaeologist Dr. Arienne Cerasola makes a desperate decision to get her life back on track. Returning to the thing that wrecked her life in the first place isn’t rational, but magic is the only option she has. To find a legendary healing tree and save her friends, Ari must outsmart magic practitioners way more talented and prepared than she is. Can she beat the competition to the prize, or is another magical disaster inevitable? Elementary Magic is the first book in R. Leonia Shea’s urban ...

Does the idea of sitting still for hours while a speaker drones on and on make you cringe? Do you find yourself daydreaming when you should be listening? Have you ever wished that the speaker would make his/her speech more interesting? Well, if you answered yes to any of the above, I understand. But, you’ll never feel that way if you listen to Joel Osteen. He is a renowned inspirational pastor and speaker. I Like to Start with Something Funny is a compilation of many of Pastor Osteen’s witty remarks and “laugh-out-loud” funny jokes that put his captive audiences at ease and inspire ...

This kind of stuff could happen, right? Enemies could become friends. Haters could become lovers. Colton Ramsey spends most of his days in the woods—guiding backpackers, hikers, and hunters on adventures through TR Outfitter's, his family-run business in Tamarack Ridge, Montana. Though he prefers to lead groups, Colton agrees over email to take Lee Bonzell on a solo elk hunt, for a premium price. Only Lee turns out to be Leigh—a spunky female lawyer from Georgia with big green eyes and an accent like melted butter. Stung at being left behind too many times by her outdoorsy brothers, ...

Welcome to the seaside town of New Shrimpton, where magic is in the air, shrimp can be scooped up by the barrel, and a murderer hides in plain sight… Alice Munroe is the only PI in town, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a little help. For one, she can speak to animals and plants… though her cat, the extravagantly grumpy Mr. Ploppers, sometimes makes her wish she couldn’t. Still, when that’s not enough, she has a few other magical tricks up her sleeve. Things go sideways, however, when she’s hired to investigate a death that everyone has written off as natural. Save for ...