Funny Clean

Ivory has the perfect man… …from his microchip processor to his flesh-like exterior. Ivory hated that she loved her Christmas gift this year. Her sister gave her the perfect humanoid companion, but there’s a huge problem: he’ll never be able to say he loves her, no matter how much she loves him. Was her dream man a present or a curse? But when Ethan (Ivory’s Dream Droid) looks at her with those sweet blue eyes and secretly earns enough money to enter her in the city-wide bake-off offering a prize she drools over, she realizes she doesn’t care. He’s hers, and that’s the best ...

Rockstar dreams don’t come true, at least not for Jayla Bennett. So why is Spencer living out all his dreams touring the country while his ex-girlfriend/former bandmate is stuck struggling through mundane days at a 9-5 she can’t stand? Was it a case of bad timing? Did life get in the way? Or did Spencer just not love her enough to reach out when Reciprocity finally hit it big? Spencer’s avoided his hometown like the plague since leaving four years ago. He hasn’t set foot in Graybush, let alone the house he grew up in, not since his mother died right beside his dreams of going to ...

He’s determined to prove his friend innocent of homicide. He may make things worse… When Marty’s surfer-dude pal is arrested for murder, he must squeeze his amateur sleuthing into his packed schedule. With his high-tech job busier than ever and his nieces’ antics sidetracking him, Marty’s ready for a Thanksgiving holiday. All he has to do is solve two murders. But if he can’t even convince his sister to bake his favorite chocolate pie, how can he hope to save his friend? With the help of his girlfriend, some wacky coworkers and Buddy the rambunctious Labrador, Marty sets out to ...

She’s not his for keeps…unless his love is forever After spending the last three years making a comfortable home for handsome widower, Dan Major, Amy Logan finds herself at a crossroads. With a thirtieth birthday on the horizon, the nanny faces tough choices about her future. Simply being Dan’s employee is no longer enough. The realization that he might lose Amy has Dan romancing her, then proposing marriage. Amy is stunned and thrilled by the proposal until she realizes he didn’t mention love. Dan is an honorable man and won’t promise more than he can give. Not until Amy moves ...

Can this swoon-worthy hero turn Dani's dreams into reality? Sure, Wade Spencer is easy on the eyes, has that Southern charm, and comes from a good family, but Dani has been burned by the like before and she’s not fool enough to try it again. But her little girl sees a potential daddy. Seeing how Wade showers her daughter with all the love the girl’s father has denied her, Dani can’t help but warm up to the idea of giving love another try. Wade has a lot going on—a mother with a life-threatening illness to look after, four younger siblings to keep in line, and a farm to run. That ...

Cupcake-loving croupier Tiffany Black has a new case on her hands: this time it's working for "uber successful life coach" Sue Giant, who claims to have been killed. Or at least, been able to survive an attempt on her life. It's up to Tiffany, Rosie and Nanna to sort through the craziness of Sue Giant's life, and figure out what's really going on. Meanwhile, Nanna decides to stop meddling in Tiffany's love life - and meddle with Stone's love life instead.

Missing lithium bottles, a tall and dreamy science teacher, a possibly promiscuous Phineas. Just another day in my new small town life. My return to Perry, Kansas hasn’t been met with a missing woman like last time, but rather a found one. She doesn’t know who or where she is, but I go straight from that mystery to a request to look into a husband’s possible indiscretion. At least I get to discuss these cases with Dean, but he is a bit preoccupied with lithium bottles missing from his chemistry lab. I moved back home to help out at my family’s archery shop. The fact that my Uncle is...

When your job is helping heartbroken people break back into their lives after nasty breakups, falling for the city's top security system designer definitely isn't in the business plan. Olivia Chen is the locksmith you call when love lets you down—part emotional therapist, part professional lock-picker. Marcus Rivera designs the security systems that keep people out, and he's the best in the business. When a high-profile divorce puts them on opposite sides of the same door, their professional rivalry ignites into something far more dangerous to their hearts. As they find themselves picking...

Teacher Callie Alberts has built a good life for herself in Harmony, Idaho. She was happy and content until the day she learned her former boyfriend, Dr. Eli Webster, was moving back to town. A past betrayal looms large and Callie is determined to keep her distance from the handsome doctor. That proves impossible when Eli moves into the cottage right next door! When a baby is left on his doorstep with a note pinned to the blanket indicating he’s the father, Eli asks her to watch the child while he tracks down the mother. It’s not only the neighborly thing to do, Callie desperately ...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice… Patty Bradley learned early what happens when love is blind. Back in high school, Patty treasured her late-night talks on the front porch steps with neighbor, Jack Krieger. She told herself it didn’t matter that at school they were strangers. She understood. After all, he was popular and she was ‘Fatty Patty.’ Handsome, athletic and a friend to many, Jack Krieger bore the weight of everyone’s high expectations with a smile. Only around Patty could he let down his guard and be himself. When an incident the night of prom shatters their ...

Sometimes, the hardest locks to pick are the ones we put on our own hearts. Celebrity divorce experts Olivia Chen and Marcus Rodriguez have turned relationship security into a science. But when America's favorite power couple hires them—just as Olivia's long-lost mother reappears with dangerous connections to their corporate rivals—their perfectly constructed walls begin to crumble. With their revolutionary system being stolen and their own relationship tested, Olivia and Marcus face an impossible choice: maintain the barriers that have kept them safe, or risk everything by letting love...

Does the idea of sitting still for hours while a speaker drones on and on make you cringe? Do you find yourself daydreaming when you should be listening? Have you ever wished that the speaker would make his/her speech more interesting? Well, if you answered yes to any of the above, I understand. But, you’ll never feel that way if you listen to Joel Osteen. He is a renowned inspirational pastor and speaker. I Like to Start with Something Funny is a compilation of many of Pastor Osteen’s witty remarks and “laugh-out-loud” funny jokes that put his captive audiences at ease and inspire ...

When murder crashes his vacation, can a techie in paradise still catch some waves while snaring a killer? Marty Golden is ready to kick back at the beach. When his neighbor offers free rooms in Hawaii, the software engineer is quick to round up his girlfriend, sister, and nieces for the luau of a lifetime. But his arrival at the resort turns his sun-filled hopes into hunches about homicide after he encounters a very deceased and inconvenient body. Pressured into helping, a grudging Marty uses his sharp attention to detail to hone in on a crucial clue missed by the police. But his half-...

Everyone wants to find Eden’s Paradise, except me. Aiden Hunter's a southern hottie that's rescued me so many times that it's starting to get embarrassing. To be honest, I'd be more grateful if I didn't suspect him of putting me in danger in the first place—a danger that keeps growing the closer I get to him. When my twin brother, Brecker, told me about a new lead in the Uintas to find the treasure that's been haunting our family for generations, the only thing forcing me to tag along is bad luck--PURE bad luck! That family curse we like to joke about is starting to feel horribly real. ...

Who says Chivalry is dead? Robin King lives up to the legendary name of Robin Hood more than he should—a bigshot billionaire and successor of King enterprises, a Prince of Mischief and a rogue who steals hearts ... and maybe even a few kisses. He never thought he’d follow the storyline so closely, until the day he gets in trouble with the law and pays the price—all for protecting his younger sister Scarlett. Taken in by an Outlaw Marian is a hard-hitting reporter … or would be if the New England Chronicle would stop assigning her puff pieces. Now she has the chance to prove herself,...

He'll do whatever necessary to keep her safe... Christian music star Sara Michaels has a stalker. And a secret. When her management team hires Crow Tucci to be her bodyguard, Sara knows the bad guy isn’t the only one who has to watch out. Rugged brutes aren’t usually the type of men she goes for, but Crow hits all her buttons. He’s tall, dark and utterly delectable. Crow carries with him an air of danger, as disturbing as it is exciting. He’s with her 24/7, following her everywhere—including to church, a place he never thought he’d go again. As the two fight their growing ...

A sunny murder mystery set in a Southern California beach town. Chelsea and Ella are two coffee shop workers just trying to prosper in a coastal community. Unfortunately, bodies start to drop on their bit of beach. The two start to pick apart the local secrets in their newfound and sometimes hilarious approach to sleuthing. But their findings are so serious that the police worry for their safety. Can our baristas find the killer without getting burned? Expanded from the previously published Beach Reaper (Episodes 1-20) on Kindle Vella.

Christmas in a mountain town teaches more than one resident what it truly means to forgive. Struggling to take care of his deaf son in a town with no resources, Ethan Knight’s at the end of his rope. When his son is kicked out of preschool, he feels he’s out of options and prays for a miracle. A newcomer to Snow Globe, Montana may be his answer to prayer. London Meriwether leaves her home after the passing of her grandmother, the woman who raised her. She falls in love with Snow Globe, Montana. The small town seems close to perfect. When she meets Ethan Knight, she discovers a way to ...

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

Strange things are happening in the village of Hero. First it was the sheep—found drained of blood. Then village girls began to disappear, returning days later with no memory of where they'd been. Sunny, a sharp-minded farm girl with no patience for nonsense, is sure something unnatural is behind it. But when Raphael shows up—a traveling monster hunter whose last case involved a mouse spirit stealing cheese—she realizes help might not be as heroic as she’d hoped. Raphael does have a few advantages: a talking silver sword named Cutter, a fire imp named Iggy who only ever says “Burn...