Funny Clean

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

MISS ELIZA'S GENTLEMAN CALLER is a clean, sweet, wholesome Regency romance set in London following the close of the Napoleonic war. Young and innocent, Miss Eliza Foxburn is alarmed when her widower father begins courting a nineteen-year-old young lady whose father is in trade! Eliza believes the tendre is making her father look like an old fool! What better way to show him how ridiculous he looks than by encouraging a much older gentleman to come calling on her! At thirty-eight, the dashing General March Huntley is hardly over the hill. Back in London after a long military campaign, he's ...

Emma spends her days working her magic into beautiful quilts for newlyweds and newborns. She also works protection and love spells into knitted hats, sweaters, and other items she sells in her boutique fabric and yarn store. Coming from a long line of stitch witches, she’s supposed to be love and light all the time. And she usually is… until Gavin swaggers by her front pane glass windows. The owner of the sports bar next door makes her blood boil to the point she’s done some things she’s not exactly proud of. Plus her ancestor witches might throw a little backlash her way if she ...

Determined to snag a mistletoe kiss from her longtime crush by Christmas Eve, shy bookworm Tabitha recruits her best friend's charming brother, Liam—yeah that Liam, the notorious player—as her secret romance coach. Little does she know, Liam's been hiding some mistletoe dreams of his own—all starring Tabitha. As their flirty lessons heat up the snowy nights in their cozy small town, Liam must choose: play it safe as her wingman, or risk it all for a chance to be the man waiting for her under the mistletoe. Tropes: Romance coach Best friend’s brother Player hero Shy heroine He falls ...

Would the gorgeous Angel help her... or hunt her? THE SEERESS Kyrah Nestor can’t stand crowds, hugs, or even human touch. An extreme empath, any time she touches others, she relives their worst memories and deepest secrets. Or worse—she has Visions, prophecies about the future that she feels powerless to fight. As if that weren’t enough, she also sees ghosts. She’s learned not to tell anyone, not even her best friend, Bethany, about her clairvoyancy, for fear of being called crazy. But when Bethany is in danger, Kyrah leaves her comfort zone to travel to Arcana Glen to help her ...

Now everyone’s stuck… In the aftermath of a foiled invasion, the troubled hub of a thousand worlds has become isolated. Someone broke the interplanetary elevator, and no one knows how to fix it, not even Jeff Abel, the Galactic Commons newest citizen. But mankind’s first ambassador to another world has other problems. Two thousand extraterrestrials are stranded back on Earth. Jordan, the only other human in the alien city, isn’t returning his calls. And Irving the Grey, the mastermind behind the city’s woes, has escaped. It has begun to dawn on Jeff that getting a job with ...

She’s the new nanny to her own triplets—surprise! Although dancer Robin Lindstrom was an egg donor eight years ago, she never knew if any children resulted. Now, out of work, she takes a job as nanny for stern widower Flint Harris. His mischievous triplets have driven away all the other nannies, but not her. The precocious kids have snooped and found out that Robin’s their biological mother—plus, they like her. That’s why they maneuvered their dad into hiring her. Unaware of the trio’s plotting, Robin and Flint fall in love, but they’re complete opposites. It’s going to take...

I came home to disappear. I didn’t plan on being seen. Going off the radar should be simple for a guy who makes a living pretending to be other people. But hiding in my hometown of Kilt Valley—disguised, renamed, and dodging my very recognizable face—that’s turning out to be the role of a lifetime. No cameras. No red carpets. Just me, a borrowed name, and two weeks to prove I can go invisible before my next movie. What I didn’t count on was Maren—a documentary filmmaker with too much heart and a camera she’s not afraid to use. She doesn’t know who I really am. At least, I ...

The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly wrong. A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end. Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped? Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled? A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever ...

Brainfreeze's Would You Rather Book for Kids is packed full of challenging, mind boggling questions that you and your family can enjoy. The challenge is simple: You must choose from one of two answers to each question and decide which you'd rather.

"Witty dialogue peppers a plot full of delectable details exposing the foibles and follies of the age… another playfully perfect Regency-era romp.” -- Publishers Weekly Starred Review Five years in the past, Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, deserted London after his curst temper nearly ended his best friend’s life. But now Morgan has beaten down his devils, assured himself he is rehabilitated enough to return to the city, intent on finding a suitable (and likewise mild-mannered) wife. Alas, so much for the best-laid plans of mice and men…and Morgan Drummond. He arrives to find ...

Ho, ho, huh? When Clara meets and falls in love with Nicky, she has no clue who he is. He says he’s going to inherit the family business up north, but little does she know it’s at the North Pole. Then Nicky claims he’s going to be the next Santa when his father retires. And she can never tell anyone. Ever. Clara is used to life in balmy Florida. If she wants to be with Nicky, they have to live at the frigid North Pole. With his parents. And talking reindeer, walking snowmen, and elves. What has Clara gotten herself into? Join the Claus family for Christmas magic, a whirlwind romance, ...

She wanted to step into the warm embrace of his arms; but he was the enemy. Lindsey Asher took the Billionaire Bride Pact at girl’s camp, but she’s never taken it seriously. Her dreams were always about building her own a bakery empire, not marrying a billionaire. Years later and all grown up, Lindsey has poured her heart and soul into Sugarbee’s Sweets in downtown Manhattan. All she wants are good reviews from a pair of big-name food bloggers and plenty of customers to enjoy her sweet treats. When Eric Kasabov parks his cookie cart in front of Sugarbee’s and starts stealing her ...

Will a mixture of pranks, revenge, and a global pandemic explode in danger or ignite hilarious, unexpected results? Marty Golden wishes this prequel novella was his superhero origin story but alas, he’s merely a mild-mannered Silicon Valley geek whose skills of self-delusion, daydreaming, and attention to detail are put to the ultimate challenge—entertaining his nieces. See Marty before he becomes the super-sleuthing, crime-busting hero of the Silicon Valley Mystery series. In this short read, you’ll meet the lovable hero, an amateur sleuth who constantly frustrates and astounds ...

This great little book is a collection of 400+ silly kids jokes, knock-knock jokes, brain-teasing riddles, and tantalizing tongue twisters. All content is clean, 100 percent child-friendly, and most importantly - actually funny!

★★★★★ “The perfect read for anyone who loves their romance with a side of self-discovery and humor.” Finding yourself is messy, but love—and banana bread—makes it worth the journey. Claire O’Hara is six months sober, and while life without alcohol is clearer, it’s also a lot more complicated. With her toxic ex-boyfriend reappearing, her meddling family pushing all the wrong buttons, and her newfound love for banana bread baking threatening to overtake her tiny kitchen, Claire feels like she’s barely holding it together. Enter Daniel Blackwood, a maddeningly calm life...

With an updated look and fresh jokes for a new millennia, this ridiculous audiobook is sure to keep you and your family's eyes in a constant state of perma-roll, complete with all the side splitting moans and groans you've come to love! But buyer beware, once he gets a hold of this cache of absolute comical ammunition, you may never hear the end of them!

The Bennet Sisters: taking fate for a wild spin In this modern collision with Pride and Prejudice, college freshman Liz Bennet refuses to let her name—or Jane Austen—define her. Even though she’s one of five teenage sisters named after the Bennet sisters in The Book, as Liz not-so-fondly calls it, she can’t afford to let her life parallel The Book in any way. Period. Liz has big plans for her future, and they don't mesh with the life laid out for a fictional young woman 200 years ago. When Charlie Bingham and Alex Darcy arrive in Liz’s Minnesota town, her whole world flips upside ...

Cody Lawson and Caroline Longford are colleagues. Nothing more. No matter how much Cody admires his cool, beautiful partner in the Department of Arcane Affairs, he knows better than to risk their professional relationship by admitting his feelings run deeper than they should between two agents. He intends to keep his emotions under wraps. That applies to family too. Cody knows that during the last year, when he was struggling with his discovery that magic was real, he alienated his brother and his sister, who both married arcanes, people with magic. His solution—cut off all contact. That ...

BOOMERS BOOK! No Politics, No Sex, No Drugs, No Tech worship, No gadgets, No whining! Just a great story about two young boys who go fishing and stumble onto an unsolved murder! They tell the story in the way that only young boys can. Hilarious!