Funny Clean

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

When a beautiful detective rolls into town with superior sleuthing skills, Luke and Bandit might just be out of a job. A charming baker-detective moves to Crystal Falls and wins over the town with her pastries, crime solving skills, and cuddly cat. But when a string of burglaries confound the police, Luke and Bandit must scramble to out-sleuth the new investigator before she takes over as the town detective. The burglaries take a deadly turn, and Luke’s telepathic link with his dog Bandit is more vital than ever to sniff out the criminal. The suspect list grows as Luke works from the ...

A love spell? Ha! Yeah right. Magic isn't real. That's what I thought too, until a bunch of random guys started falling for me and expressing their feelings in the most preposterous ways! Now I'm the most popular girl in the library, and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I wish things would go back to normal... a nice, boring normal where I watch Netflix, read books, and get teased by my friend and fellow librarian, Oakley. But... wait. The hottest guy in the world is in love with me too. Maybe it's not so bad? Abracatastrophe is a sweet, short romantic comedy with a touch of magic.

Leashes tangled, hearts untangled. One minute Lizzy's chasing a runaway Labrador, the next she's caught in a charming connection with the dog's owner, Mark. They feel like they've known each other forever... A little crazy, perhaps. But while having some family fun, navigating well-meaning friends, and a few unexpected deer, their sweet connection blossoms. Will their instant spark grow into lasting love? Prepare for all the swoony sighs and hilarious mishaps of a classic rom-com, served up squeaky clean. No closed-door shenanigans here, just pure, delightful connection. So, what are you ...

Now everyone’s stuck… In the aftermath of a foiled invasion, the troubled hub of a thousand worlds has become isolated. Someone broke the interplanetary elevator, and no one knows how to fix it, not even Jeff Abel, the Galactic Commons newest citizen. But mankind’s first ambassador to another world has other problems. Two thousand extraterrestrials are stranded back on Earth. Jordan, the only other human in the alien city, isn’t returning his calls. And Irving the Grey, the mastermind behind the city’s woes, has escaped. It has begun to dawn on Jeff that getting a job with ...

Imagine you're one of the smartest people in the country and you're barely old enough to drive. With a brain that size you become the priceless prey for the powerful and greedy. I keep sharp so I'm no one's 'nerd'. But when I'm forced to join four other geniuses (including a beautiful but driven hottie named Taylor) to work on a "corporate sponsored' project with connections to murder and espionage...I have to put my IQ into high gear. It's a deadly race to save myself, my friends...and maybe even the world.

“I liked the strong female characters that didn’t back down. It is a great novel to show women that you can get positions just as easily as men and to not back down when being pushed into corners.” –NetGalley Reviewer "...offers the reader a heroine with grace, gumption, and brains, who finds her way out of a difficult position with satisfying aplomb." –IndieReader The university's selection committee nominates Georgia Davis to become their first woman vice president – a job she's coveted for more than a quarter century. But the university's new president, Paul Van Horne, sours ...

The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly wrong. A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end. Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped? Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled? A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever ...

Brainfreeze's Would You Rather Book for Kids is packed full of challenging, mind boggling questions that you and your family can enjoy. The challenge is simple: You must choose from one of two answers to each question and decide which you'd rather.

Determined to snag a mistletoe kiss from her longtime crush by Christmas Eve, shy bookworm Tabitha recruits her best friend's charming brother, Liam—yeah that Liam, the notorious player—as her secret romance coach. Little does she know, Liam's been hiding some mistletoe dreams of his own—all starring Tabitha. As their flirty lessons heat up the snowy nights in their cozy small town, Liam must choose: play it safe as her wingman, or risk it all for a chance to be the man waiting for her under the mistletoe. Tropes: Romance coach Best friend’s brother Player hero Shy heroine He falls ...

MISS ELIZA'S GENTLEMAN CALLER is a clean, sweet, wholesome Regency romance set in London following the close of the Napoleonic war. Young and innocent, Miss Eliza Foxburn is alarmed when her widower father begins courting a nineteen-year-old young lady whose father is in trade! Eliza believes the tendre is making her father look like an old fool! What better way to show him how ridiculous he looks than by encouraging a much older gentleman to come calling on her! At thirty-eight, the dashing General March Huntley is hardly over the hill. Back in London after a long military campaign, he's ...

Book 3, Summer Blues, continues Norma Elliott’s journey with a season full of laughter, heartfelt moments, and life lessons shared through her secret journal. From dashing through the sprinkler with self-tanning mishaps to navigating the challenges of growing up, entering a singing contest, and more, this summer is brimming with unforgettable adventures. With wit and warmth, Victoria Simcox invites readers into Norma’s world, illustrating that God’s love embraces us in every moment—flaws and all. Through the laughter, missteps, and life lessons, His grace proves to be the most ...

Wren Sterling has a problem. Her charming, arrogant ex is getting married, and the thought of him seeing her dateless at the wedding is giving her hives. Enter Operation Pretend Boyfriend: a desperate plan to hire an actor to play the role of her doting, successful new beau. Ronan Hayes is perfect for the part. Handsome, charming, and with a knack for making grandmothers swoon, he’s ready to give Wren’s ex a serious case of regret. But as Wren and Ronan navigate disastrous dance lessons, competitive croquet matches, and a runaway swan with a vendetta against designer suits, their ...

Do you believe in magic potions? Neither does Alexandra. When Alex and her BFF concoct a special formula for their chemistry class, they stumble on some highly unusual results. But now, Alex finds herself falling for Mason Miller, her brother's best friend and the bane of her existence. Theories and hypotheses work great in the lab. But the question Alex needs to answer is much less scientific . . . Can a potion turn enemies into starry-eyed lovers or is magic something you make?

Arlie Biggar is back in Alaska with his new family. Life is nice and boring ... until his pregnant wife is kidnapped! Copycat terrorists have recruited local thugs to help them steal guns from the sporting goods store. When his wife gets in their way, will Arlie be able to get her back or will a ringer come in and save the day? Clean action adventure with a smattering of humor.

Rose and Larry Wilford are hitting the highway on their next RV adventure. Ben and Betsy Stevenson are right behind them in their 5th wheel. The other two Early Birds, Jeff and Mary Wells, promise to hook up with them as soon as they finish some ‘business’ in Colorado. On their way to Florida, the foursome make a stop in Mississippi. Soon Rosie wonders if they’ll ever get On the Road Again. The RVs have stalled in Biloxi and it has nothing to do with mechanical issues in any of their rigs. They’ve found another church that needs their help. Rose, Betsy and Mary spend their days as ...

Strange things are happening in the village of Hero. First it was the sheep—found drained of blood. Then village girls began to disappear, returning days later with no memory of where they'd been. Sunny, a sharp-minded farm girl with no patience for nonsense, is sure something unnatural is behind it. But when Raphael shows up—a traveling monster hunter whose last case involved a mouse spirit stealing cheese—she realizes help might not be as heroic as she’d hoped. Raphael does have a few advantages: a talking silver sword named Cutter, a fire imp named Iggy who only ever says “Burn...

Anna Yang needs a change. After losing her best friend in Vegas, Anna needs to find a place to heal. So, she takes a new job on Resort Island. Resort Island, a small island off of sunny Singapore, recently converted into a luxurious resort island, is supposed to have everything Anna needs. Fun. Happy faces. Uplifting environment. Safe. But just as she is about to cross the lobby, something drops right in front of her. Something large. Something … It can’t be a body … can it? Perhaps Vegas isn’t the problem. Perhaps Anna is …

She’s the new nanny to her own triplets—surprise! Although dancer Robin Lindstrom was an egg donor eight years ago, she never knew if any children resulted. Now, out of work, she takes a job as nanny for stern widower Flint Harris. His mischievous triplets have driven away all the other nannies, but not her. The precocious kids have snooped and found out that Robin’s their biological mother—plus, they like her. That’s why they maneuvered their dad into hiring her. Unaware of the trio’s plotting, Robin and Flint fall in love, but they’re complete opposites. It’s going to take...

A humorous story about a mistake leading to love that will give you the warm fuzzies. Mary Ann Nielsen lives by her one-strike-and-you’re-out dating policy, but she’s always open to meeting the right guy. When she accidentally rear-ends handsome Trevor Brooks on her way to a charity auction to buy back her beloved grandmother’s long lost bracelet, she figures this unconventional meeting could at least turn into a hot date. Wrong. Trevor is annoyingly responsible and more concerned with insurance reports than responding to her flirting so he earns three strikes right off the bat. ...