Funny Clean

She must protect the apocalypse scroll, or else the world will come to a fiery end. No pressure or anything.Crystal sorceress Dru Jasper has become the unwilling guardian of an ancient instrument of destruction. Its world-ending power is held in check by only a single wax seal. Which seems like maybe a huge design flaw, but whatever. Now insidious spirits who can kill by touch are trying to get their clutches on the apocalypse scroll and break the final seal. To stop them, Dru needs a rare crystal older than the Earth itself. But it’s hidden in a meteorite crater deep in the desert, and ...

What’s worse than a self-centered beauty queen? A cruise chock full of them! “Winters will have you giggling into your book!” But what if the self-centred beauty queen is also a murderer? When the Swan of the Seas hosts a beauty pageant, Adrienne is forced to spend her time dealing with narcissistic judges, oblivious contestants and a feminist protest. The event seems hectic enough, when Diana Penn, the esteemed beauty queen and headlining judge, is found murdered! Now, it’s up to Adrienne and her friends Cece, Sam, and First Officer Hot Stuff—er, First Officer Ethan Lee—to sort...

With over 3,000 jokes, this audiobook is a great addition to any family library and is sure to provide listeners of all ages with limitless pleasure. Explore the world of timeless dad jokes that are so funny they make you grin, sharp one-liners that will surprise you, smart puns that play on words in the funniest ways, and short humorous stories that will make you laugh. There's something in this collection for every age group to appreciate, be they young, old, or somewhere in between.

When Addi and her friends board a cruise going a slightly different route, they're prepared for trouble. But not this much trouble. First, they're attacked by pirates. Then, they have to work with a new, unknown crew. And then - there's a murder. Now, it's up to Addi and her friends to find a killer on board their ship, before they strike again... Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and entertaining characters" - lq, Amazon.com "For fans of Janet Evanovich, ...

Welcome to the Beachfront Bed & Breakfast, where everyone's dying to get a room! Former school teacher Teri McAfee thought she had settled in to her new job at her quirky Aunt Sam's beautiful seaside bed & breakfast, but there's no time to relax, because Archie Gras is here! Funny little Admiral Archibald Falls Island off the coast of Florida is holding its annual festival, and the B&B is packed with wacky guests! Chaos ensues when Teri and Aunt Sam have to wrangle a house full of party animals, clowns, the annoying in-laws of Aunt Sam's best friend-- and a murderer! With the sheriff ready ...

Kitsch and KillersTiffany, Rosie and Stone visit an exciting new attraction in the exciting state of… Nebraska. They don’t expect much drama on this trip, given how sleepy the small town they’re visiting is, and how nice the guests they’re staying with seem to be. However, an unexpected murder shatters their holiday bliss, and they find themselves, once again, trying to track down a killer. As Tiffany and Rosie investigate, secrets are revealed, and devious plans unraveled—but can they stop the killer before it's too late? Praise for A.R. Winters:"The perfect balance of being ...

The Heart of the Canyon series…stories about the strength of family, the timeless endurance of friendship, and the unwavering longing for home. This includes: All We Keep - Book 1 Everything We Are - Book 2 Any One Moment - Book 3 All We Keep Mallie Westin was coming home. Ten years ago Mallie Grayson Westin packed up and with her children left the only home they had ever known…that she had ever known. Now she was coming back. The neighborhood was still the same. Very little had changed. It was still a small cluster of only a few homes that were long ago built by her parents and a few ...

Blind dates can be the romantic equivalent of a nice stroll toward an open manhole... blindfolded. With no romantic prospects in sight, Annika rethinks her dating strategy, ready to chance a few manholes. After all, who knows how God could bring Mr. Right into her life? Her interfering family and friends are itching to play matchmaker, but their choices will have Annika asking, “Where did they dig up these guys?” When sinister gifts appear, her harmless dating scheme becomes a dangerous game. How can she meet Mr. Right, when Mr. Wrong has her in his sights?

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murderous matrimony is on the menu! Dani O'Shea is used to serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to the hungry townsfolk in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, so catering a wedding reception for a friend is easy as pie, right? It is until an uninvited guest crashes the party and gets murdered! When a wealthy avocado magnate drinks poison at the wedding reception after making a shocking speech about changing his will, Dani must sort out which one of his shady relatives was willing ...

When Tiffany is contacted by an old childhood friend and asked to investigate her fiancé, Ricardo, she doesn’t expect to end up in the middle of a deadly dance-off… But when Ricardo is killed, Tiffany and Rosie must uncover the secrets and schemes Ricardo was involved in: although he seemed a nice guy on the surface, Ricardo had hurt and harmed enough people to have a long line of enemies. Can Tiffany and Rosie expose the killer before it’s too late? Meanwhile, Tiffany and Stone make an interesting decision about their relationship…

When the town playboy Robert Knox is killed, Shepherd Fall’s baker Janelle becomes the prime suspect. After all, she was the last one to see him alive, and was linked to him romantically. But Jean knows there’s no way someone as sweet as Janelle could be a killer! Diving head first into Rob’s life creates ripples in the town, and Jean quickly learns he was the cause of many secrets. A dentist and his pregnant wife, a waitress, and a reporter all seem to be a part of the web Rob found himself caught in. As things become more dangerous, Jean realizes that she’s caught in the web too, ...

A murder mystery party on the cruise ship—could life be any more ironic? Especially after the two real-life murders that Adrienne’s dealt with! But yes, the passengers really do want to party "like it’s a murderous 1999”, and to make matters even worse, Adrienne’s the one in charge of managing the event. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" An inept new cruise director, a Captain who’s harbouring a secret, and a demanding G.O.H.—just when Adrienne thinks things could not get any more horrible, she’s dealt one final blow: a real murder. Can Adrienne and her ...

When Tiffany, Nanna, Rosie and Stone head to Memphis to investigate the world of Barbeques and Blues, they don’t expect to stumble on a double-homicide. But when two judges drop dead at a Barbeque and Blues Festival, the gang must work quickly to uncover the truth… before the killer strikes again. Who could’ve hated both judges so much – or did the judges poison each other? Was one an accident and the other a murder? Or was the real target someone else all along...? Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - ...

A Stolen Heirloom. A Shocking Murder. A Vacation Gone Wrong! Tiffany and Rosie planned for a relaxing getaway in a charming Appalachian town—quiet mornings, scenic views, and maybe a a slice of homemade pie. But when a priceless heirloom is stolen and a local turns up dead, their vacation takes a deadly turn. Determined to help the heirloom’s rightful owner, Tiffany calls in reinforcements—her quirky grandmother, Nanna, and her resourceful boyfriend, Stone... ...But they aren’t the only ones on the hunt. A ruthless crew of treasure seekers has descended on the town, willing to do ...

I don’t do commitment. I barely do second dates. But with thirty on the horizon and my closest friends all finding their forever person, I can’t help but wonder… what if I’m wrong? One evening—and maybe one too many glasses of Chardonnay—we make a pact: the next guy we date, we marry. It sounds a little wild, but I’m tired of being the girl who always runs from love. So I take a chance. Three dates. One day. Just to see what’s out there. Then I meet Nash Campbell. A kind-hearted construction worker with an easy smile and the kind of quiet confidence that sneaks up on you. ...

A Tiffany Black Travel Caper A winery with secrets … Tiffany, Stone and Rosie are off to Vintner’s Haven, a luxurious boutique hotel in the heart of California wine country. This trip is all about wine-tastings, cocktail-making, hot air balloon rides… and murder! When a local connoisseur mentions he’d like to hire Tiffany to investigate something, but is murdered soon afterward, the trio feel compelled to look into his death. What secrets could be lurking behind some very expensive bottles of wine? Who could’ve wanted the connoisseur dead, and how far are they willing to go to ...

A Cupcakes-and-Crime Caper A bachelor party gone wrong – or did it go exactly how it was meant to go? When a groom goes missing after his “bachelor party weekend,” Tiffany and Rosie are called on the case. “Winters will have you giggling into your book!” What should have been an easy missing persons case turns complicated as the duo discover that every person involved is keeping secrets. But are the party-goers lying to protect the groom, or to protect themselves? When a key informant turns up dead, Tiffany and Rosie realize there might be more at stake here than a simple party ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where today's special is murder! The quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City is preparing for Chili-Con, a wacky food festival all about chili, and Dani O'Shea is getting ready to serve festival-goers the Breezy Spoon Diner's delicious formula of great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality. But when a prominent businessman from California comes to town and barges into the Breezy Spoon wanting to fight Jimmy the busboy, only to disappear without a trace the next day, the mystery heats up faster than a bowl of 5-alarm chili! When murder gets...

Welcome to The Berry Home: where the food is to-die-for! Life is sweet for Kylie Berry: rebranding Sarah’s Eatery into her very own The Berry Home, tackling new recipes one step at a time, juggling two gorgeous suitors, and surviving near-death experiences by the skin of her teeth! "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" When another murder mystery lands smack dab on Kylie’s doorstep—in the most literal way—she swears off her sleuthing in favor of safer pursuits. But then her gorgeous suitor Brad comes calling with a highly unusual request: “I need you to investigate ...

Welcome to Sarah’s Eatery, where the food is to-die-for! Kylie’s move to Camden Falls didn’t go quite as she expected: now she's got two hunky men fighting for her affections, more culinary mishaps on her café's Oops Board, and ex in-laws who won’t leave her alone. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" And, of course, there's the latest murder that Kylie gets drawn into... When local real estate bigshot “Mean Mike” Pratt is found dead in his office, accusations fly from every other storefront—in no small part because he owned them! Kylie’s hairdresser, Susie, is ...