Funny Clean

The guy who stole my diary just died... My thoughts are with his family. I tried to write a joke about restraining orders… But this is as close as I could get. My dog loves floating in the ocean. He’s such a good buoy. I just bought an expensive new shrub trimmer… It’s cutting hedge technology! Money’s a little tight right now so I pay my rent with sexual favors. I try and stay on top but sometimes I end up behind. During his wedding, my friend called me the worst best man he has ever seen. I was speechless. You shouldn't say bad things about illiterate people. Feel free to write ...

A Tiffany Black Travel Caper A winery with secrets … Tiffany, Stone and Rosie are off to Vintner’s Haven, a luxurious boutique hotel in the heart of California wine country. This trip is all about wine-tastings, cocktail-making, hot air balloon rides… and murder! When a local connoisseur mentions he’d like to hire Tiffany to investigate something, but is murdered soon afterward, the trio feel compelled to look into his death. What secrets could be lurking behind some very expensive bottles of wine? Who could’ve wanted the connoisseur dead, and how far are they willing to go to ...

A Vacation Gone Deadly. A Town Full of Secrets. A Killer Who’s Just Getting Started. Tiffany Black and Rosie wanted a break. Instead, they land in Duck’s Head—a town where people are disappearing, secrets run deep, and the next body could be theirs. When a local vanishes and a corpse turns up, their relaxing getaway turns into a race to catch a killer. Good thing Tiffany’s boyfriend Stone shows up, all broody and heroic. Even better? Nanna’s in town, armed with killer instincts and a purse that packs more surprises than a magician’s hat. The bodies are stacking up, the clues ...

Adrienne is looking forward to a nice, relaxing cruise—especially when she hears that this time, the theme is beauty and pampering. Unfortunately, “beauty and pampering” means something different for the cruise passengers! When one of the passengers is killed by a lethal beauty injection, it's up to Addy and the gang to uncover the truth of whose flawless face doesn’t match the ugliness within. This time around, the investigation is aided by the Swan of the Seas’ new captain, Jonathan Ellman, who seems vaguely familiar to Adrienne and the others… Praise for A.R. Winters: "The ...

A yoga-themed cruise - finally, a nice, calm cruise where nothing could possibly go wrong... "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" Unfortunately, two "rival" yoga groups are booked onto the cruise at the same time, and for such a calm-focused crowd, tempers begin to flare rather quickly. To make matters worse, a VIP passenger associated with one of the yoga groups is soon found murdered. Adrienne and her friends waste no time in beginning their investigation. Too bad the killer seems to be keeping a close eye on Adrienne... Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being ...

When Tiffany, Nanna, Rosie and Stone head to Memphis to investigate the world of Barbeques and Blues, they don’t expect to stumble on a double-homicide. But when two judges drop dead at a Barbeque and Blues Festival, the gang must work quickly to uncover the truth… before the killer strikes again. Who could’ve hated both judges so much – or did the judges poison each other? Was one an accident and the other a murder? Or was the real target someone else all along...? Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murder is served up hot! Halloween is coming to the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, and Dani O'Shea is serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to hungry guests and trick-or-treaters alike. But it's not ghosts or vampires that are getting everyone in town spooked; it's a famous writer who has returned to town to write a tell-all book exposing the townsfolk's darkest secrets! When murder puts an end to the writer and his book, and the Breezy Spoon's famous pineapple upside-down cake is ...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murderous matrimony is on the menu! Dani O'Shea is used to serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to the hungry townsfolk in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, so catering a wedding reception for a friend is easy as pie, right? It is until an uninvited guest crashes the party and gets murdered! When a wealthy avocado magnate drinks poison at the wedding reception after making a shocking speech about changing his will, Dani must sort out which one of his shady relatives was willing ...

He’s a prince trapped in a frog’s body. She’s a girl with a plan—and no time for royal nonsense. The frog was perfectly content with his quiet pond, his bug-catching routine, and the occasional moonlight swim to the nearby village—until Clara showed up, stuffed him in a sack, and told him something outrageous. According to Clara, he isn’t just a frog—he’s a cursed prince with a rare magical Gift, the only one who can stop a dangerous witch and save the kingdom. All he needs is a kiss from a princess. And fortunately for him, Clara knows exactly where to find one. Clara and ...

A sassy fitness trainer, an undercover billionaire with a damaged heart, and the secrets they’ll never overcome. Dirk Miller will never allow himself to fall in love because of his parents’ horrific example of loving and leaving. When he meets the vivacious Kit Abbott, he’s shocked by the connection he feels when they touch and the way she can tease him into wanting to be with only her. He knows he’s not worthy of Kit and hates himself for not being able to resist her. Kit Abbott has enjoyed dating various men throughout her adult years, but has no intention of settling down. When ...

I’m the last woman standing in the “Last First Date” pact with my friends, and it looks like Cupid’s playing hard to get. It’s not like I haven’t been trying to find The One. I’ve been speed dating like it’s an Olympic sport, but a love match is still out of reach. You see, I've had my share of love and loss, and at 30, playing the lead in an unrequited love saga was definitely not my plan. But that’s exactly where I find myself, wanting more with Ryan Jones, a walking, talking romantic riddle. He’s a perfect blend of Prince Charming and Thor (minus the hammer, obviously...

Blondie's the name and solving cases is my game, but this time I am dog-gone stumped! As excited as I am to enter Lincoln City's Peewee Pet Competition, my friendship with Bray is suffering and mishap is around every corner at the dog show. Dogs slip on the arena, pet costumes are destroyed, and a dog even goes missing! Can I catch who is red-handed or red-pawed before it's too late? Parents and kids are raving about Blondie McGhee, the funny girl detective series for kids 9-12. •“I thought the story was really cute and engaging. Both my nine-year-old daughter and her twelve-year-old ...

Welcome to Pettett & Mayfield, a once-grand central London department store now fallen on harder times, despite the eccentric owner's schemes to attract customers. But from the basement kitchenware department through to the top floor management offices, love and faith can still find a home. You never forget your first love... especially if they broke your heart! With her eye for design and her cut-glass accent, no-one would guess Beth Forrest’s poorer background. It’s all throw pillows, china patterns, and upper class brides in the Wedding Registry at Pettett & Mayfield. So it's not ...

A model who lost the limelight. A hockey star benched from the game. Will a small-town Christmas celebration reveal a most unexpected gift? Going “Holly” Wood isn’t what America’s sweetheart, Krista Ankrom, had in mind when she made her annual Christmas trip to Holly Pointe, Vermont. Frustrated after losing another job to a younger rival, and fearing she’s walked her last runway, she’s hoping the happy site of her childhood Christmas pasts will be the perfect hideaway. But when asked to team up with NHL superstar Dustin Bellamy to save the town’s weeklong holiday celebration...

A Tiffany Black Travel CaperA small town where secrets abound… Tiffany, Rosie and Stone travel to the small New England town of Mapleview, to enjoy long, lazy walks, decadent breakfasts and gorgeous scenery. Unfortunately, they’re also met with trickery, murder and mayhem. When a guest’s expensive jewelry goes missing and she’s found dead a few hours later, the trio must work quickly to try to uncover the killer among them. In the process, they uncover local corruption and some unexpected secrets. Meanwhile, a chance encounter finds the trio investigating a local resident, who’s ...

Dru has only 24 hours to save the world. It’s definitely going to be an all-nighter.Being the world’s only crystal sorceress means no vacation time, lousy pay, and zero benefits. But what’s worse? Finding out there actually is another crystal sorceress—who happens to be wickedly powerful and also dead-set on destroying the world. When she breaks into Dru’s shop, sets the place on fire, and steals an apocalyptic amulet, it’s hard not to take things personally. What’s a girl to do? Hit the road in a high-speed chase to get that amulet back before the seas boil, the stars fall ...

A Cupcakes-and-Crime Caper Tiffany and Rosie find themselves investigating two separate cases – a cold case that appears to have been a natural death, and the murder of a popular dance guru. When the two cases appear to be linked, the duo are shocked and concerned that one or both of their clients might be a killer. Nanna, Jan, and Stone all help out – but will that be enough to uncover the truth in time? Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and ...

Blind dates can be the romantic equivalent of a nice stroll toward an open manhole... blindfolded. With no romantic prospects in sight, Annika rethinks her dating strategy, ready to chance a few manholes. After all, who knows how God could bring Mr. Right into her life? Her interfering family and friends are itching to play matchmaker, but their choices will have Annika asking, “Where did they dig up these guys?” When sinister gifts appear, her harmless dating scheme becomes a dangerous game. How can she meet Mr. Right, when Mr. Wrong has her in his sights?

Can a marriage of convenience uncover the truth? Merle Larsen doesn't believe in love. But he needs a wife to inherit the ranch, and the waitress at the local diner seems to be single, sweet, and not expecting too much of life. He can't offer his heart, but he can offer to take care of her. Lu is glad to have snagged a waitress job in a small town where nobody knows her. It's safe, but lonely... At least she can dream about the rugged cowboy at table four, even though he belongs to the town's most powerful family. When Merle asks Lu for a loveless marriage of convenience, she can't make ...

What happens after the superhero gets the girl? Nobody said being married was easy, but try being married to a superhero. Not only is there laundry, cooking, and a career to balance, but throw in a few supervillains and your day’s booked. Ariana, Victoria, and Emma’s men spend more time saving the world than doing dishes. These wives want some semblance of a normal married life, but would settle for an uninterrupted meal together. How can they compete with saving the world? When a catastrophic earthquake devastates Shadow Town and crime spirals out of control, the city needs help. ...