Funny Clean

Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. I think I might have scoliosis. How do I know? Let’s just say, I have a hunch. I just heard there's a nudist's convention next week. I might go if I've got nothing on. Do you think oranges become juice willingly? Or are they getting pressured into it? I have a phobia of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. Seriously, what are Roman numerals actually good IV? I got a rejection letter from the origami university today. I’m not sure what to make of it. --------- This book contains some jokes which may be unsuitable for kids...

Welcome to The Berry Home, where the food is to-die-for!When up-and-coming politican Alex Tramden dies after a campaign celebration, everyone blames Kylie Berry. The event was catered, it involved food, and it lead to a strange death. Kylie had nothing to do with Alex’s death! But somehow, she ends up in hot water over it. When everything goes awry, Kylie joins forces with Zoey, Agatha and the rest of the gang. Alex’s killer is going to be brought to justice… unless they get to Kylie and Sage first. Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a ...

"My son has started devouring this series and says he LOVES the books!" Book 8 in the award-winning Wright Cousin Adventures series. Secret bases, missing airplanes, and an unsolved World War 2 mystery! “Jonathan, get us out of here!” The Wright Cousins have their hands full trying to recover not just one, but two airplanes! While visiting the second plane, the cousins discover a new secret lurking deep in Lake Pinecone, far more dangerous than they ever expected! Will all their carefully made plans be wrecked? “This is a fun-filled, family friendly adventure that will appeal to ...

She’s a billionaire runaway bride, my arch enemy, and now … my new roommate. Mermaid Shores is my sanctuary. Here, I’m not Noah Clark, the grumpy A-list actor. I’m just another summer resident alone in my grief. Until Caroline Knight storms into the bar in her wedding gown. Running from the altar, hiding from her mother… and the police. She’s always been my rival, the bane of my prep school existence. We are anything but friends and this is drama I don’t need. I should’ve ducked and run, and now I’m stuck. Because her car was confiscated and the hotels are full. What kind ...

She should say no. She’s not a detective after all. But how can she? When Felicity Philips receives a panicked call from an old friend, there simply isn’t a way that she can turn him down. Edward, the jeweller to the crown, is in deep trouble and he cannot tell the police. His terrible truth must be kept secret. But what is his motivation for calling Felicity? Does he really believe she is the only one who can help? Or are his motivations more personal and dark than he is letting on? With her usual cast of supporting misfits, Felicity is going to see what she can do … … but when she...

This marriage will be a convenient business arrangement and nothing more. No strings attached, and above all—no broken hearts. Growing up in a broken home taught me to watch out for myself, and that the only love out there is what I create. That's why I stick to taking care of my baby sister and the hodgepodge of wildlife I volunteer to rehabilitate. Add in a stray puppy I found under the car with the help of Wil, a grumpy single dad move-in to Button Blossom, and everything’s good. He's cute. (The puppy, not Wil…well, okay. Wil's broody, which also makes him a teensy bit hot.) Except...

When pets investigate, you can be sure the fur will fly. When two kids go missing on Hallowe’en, the task of finding them provokes a Buster versus Amber challenge. The dog can follow the scent, but the cat will use her brains. Who will find the children first? And where are they anyway? But Felicity’s pets aren’t the only ones trying to solve this case. Her niece, Mindy, is out in the dark too. There’s a mob forming outside a suspiciously derelict and overgrown house, but is the lady inside really a witch? In the ultimate test of feline against canine and pets against humans, who ...

The boy I couldn’t forget just became the man I can’t resist. Alex Walsh is the last man I want to see again. He’s charming, talented, maddeningly handsome—and the boy who once kissed me, then broke my heart in front of the whole school. That humiliation? Still burned into memory. Now, years later, I’m stuck working with him, curating his photo exhibition at the gallery. He’s still the full package, and what's worse? He knows it. But I’m not that girl anymore. My friends and I made a pact to stop chasing the wrong guys. And no matter how much his photographs move me, or how ...

Reporter Lexi loves nothing better than a good undercover job, but Engaged Couples Bootcamp as a fake fiancee? No thanks. Is this just her boss's matchmaking scheme to set her up with her handsome brother Nick? And why does he agree to it? Lexi has no idea what she's getting herself into. Can she fool others without fooling herself? Could fake love be better than the real thing in this sweet Christian romcom novella?

Adrienne is looking forward to a nice, relaxing cruise—especially when she hears that this time, the theme is beauty and pampering. Unfortunately, “beauty and pampering” means something different for the cruise passengers! When one of the passengers is killed by a lethal beauty injection, it's up to Addy and the gang to uncover the truth of whose flawless face doesn’t match the ugliness within. This time around, the investigation is aided by the Swan of the Seas’ new captain, Jonathan Ellman, who seems vaguely familiar to Adrienne and the others… Praise for A.R. Winters: "The ...

Addi, Sam, and Cece are back—and this time, the Cygnus of the Seas is hosting a floating animation convention, complete with costumes, cartoon chaos… and a killer on board. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" When the author of a scandalous tell-all exposé ends up dead, Addi dives headfirst into the mystery—only to find that the killer might be hiding behind more than just a mascot head. Secrets from a decades-old cold case bubble to the surface, and Addi’s sleuthing stirs up more than just trouble. Someone’s desperate to keep the past buried—and they’ll stop at ...

With over 3,000 jokes, this audiobook is a great addition to any family library and is sure to provide listeners of all ages with limitless pleasure. Explore the world of timeless dad jokes that are so funny they make you grin, sharp one-liners that will surprise you, smart puns that play on words in the funniest ways, and short humorous stories that will make you laugh. There's something in this collection for every age group to appreciate, be they young, old, or somewhere in between.

Adrienne is looking forward to the scrapbooking cruise, especially when she learns that her friend Minnie’s daughter, Vanessa, is joining them as a guest! However, Minnie and Addi's friends Cece and Greg Washington all seem to be acting rather strangely, and Addi can’t understand what’s gotten into them. Before she can figure out the bizarre behavior of the crew, this cruise’s guest of honor, scrapbooking superstar Irina Clark is murdered, and all signs point to Vanessa as the culprit. Could Minnie's daughter really have done it? Unfortunately, the Captain finds out what Minnie, ...

When Tiffany and Rosie evacuate their cottage to temporarily stay at the Sunset House boarding house, they think this might be a fun adventure... ... but instead, they witness a murder on their first morning. Soon, the duo find themselves investigating a dangerous and deadly situation. Meanwhile, the catnapper attempts to strike again, and Tiff and Rosie must form unexpected alliances to keep Mariposans safe. Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D, Amazon.com "A fun cozy mystery with engaging and ...

Welcome to The Berry Home: where the food is to-die-for! When Kylie's friend Jack is accused of murder, she must go the distance to uncover the real killer... Meanwhile Kylie's nemesis, Detective Gregson, appears to be joining forces with her BFF Zoey - but to what end? "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" Zoey refuses to tell Kylie about Gregson's secret, leaving her to figure it out on her own. Meanwhile, the odds seem to be stacked against Kylie's friend Jack. He had every reason to want the horrible Gary dead - but then again, so did quite a few other people. Will Kylie ...

Blondie's the name and solving cases is my game, but this time I am dog-gone stumped! As excited as I am to enter Lincoln City's Peewee Pet Competition, my friendship with Bray is suffering and mishap is around every corner at the dog show. Dogs slip on the arena, pet costumes are destroyed, and a dog even goes missing! Can I catch who is red-handed or red-pawed before it's too late? Parents and kids are raving about Blondie McGhee, the funny girl detective series for kids 9-12. •“I thought the story was really cute and engaging. Both my nine-year-old daughter and her twelve-year-old ...

Reality looks different through the eye of a camera. As the youngest daughter of a wealthy rancher, Azalea has it all—good looks, a steady boyfriend, and a scholarship to a prestigious university. It's the perfect gilded cage. Azalea longs to break free and stand on her own, to find the passion that's missing from her life. But nothing in reality resembles her dreams... until she meets Leo. Leonardo Walton is a self-made billionaire, a genius investor with an unfortunate knack for upsetting people. Determined to boost Leo's public image, his PR manager signs him up for the reality show ...

Welcome to Sarah’s Eatery, where the food is to-die-for! Kylie’s move to Camden Falls didn’t go quite as she expected: now she's got two hunky men fighting for her affections, more culinary mishaps on her café's Oops Board, and ex in-laws who won’t leave her alone. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" And, of course, there's the latest murder that Kylie gets drawn into... When local real estate bigshot “Mean Mike” Pratt is found dead in his office, accusations fly from every other storefront—in no small part because he owned them! Kylie’s hairdresser, Susie, is ...

Marriage? It can be absolute murder. The royal wedding looms and Felicity can think of little else … until a member of her dream team is arrested for attempted murder. Doris, a long-time friend and superstar florist, stands accused of attempting to kill half a dozen brides, their bouquets poisoned with an unknown toxin. Ordered not to interfere by the hateful Chief Inspector Quinn, Felicity is determined to find the real person behind the bizarre crimes and clear her friend’s name – Doris must be innocent, right? But Felicity is not exactly known for her sleuthing skills. If anything,...

A Cupcakes-And-Crime Caper Roger Owen’s business isn’t doing well, and when he takes his wife and son to glitzy, glamorous Las Vegas for some quality family vacation time, he brings along a surprising +1: his mistress! "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" Life seems to pick up for Roger when he wins a huge jackpot… until someone gleefully kills him on the casino floor. Caught in the hot seat as suspect number one, Roger’s wife Wendy hires Tiffany and Ian to clear her name and to solve the mystery of who really killed Roger Owen—even though it may very well be black ...