Funny Clean

Her good heart has a really bad plan--destined to fail spectacularly.Nanny and grad student Eliza has a harebrained, movie plot-based scheme to teach her terrible boss a lesson: find a wretched hobo, give him a Hollywood makeover, and trick the selfish woman into falling for him and becoming a better person. What could go wrong? Hint: everything. Henry, the hunky lost traveler with the dashing Australian accent that weakens Eliza’s knees, is game. More than game. For Eliza, he gladly gets a glow-up, debuts at a film premier, and plays the role of the fake rich dude on a posh, exclusive ...

He’s rich enough to make her dance all night - but can he let her love him? Rich and bored, rancher Darien Jonas accepts a bet - convince his family that he’s found his future wife. He already lives out in the boondocks, so all he has to do is pick a local cowgirl, fix her up, and make her presentable. Fern Larsen knows she’s got nothing to offer the world, but she’s determined to change that… somehow. When her posh neighbor sets out to improve her, she’s grateful but suspicious - because his reasons seem as shoddy as his priorities. Soon, Fern figures out there is more to her ...

Does the idea of sitting still for hours while a speaker drones on and on make you cringe? Do you find yourself daydreaming when you should be listening? Have you ever wished that the speaker would make his/her speech more interesting? Well, if you answered yes to any of the above, I understand. But, you’ll never feel that way if you listen to Joel Osteen. He is a renowned inspirational pastor and speaker. I Like to Start with Something Funny is a compilation of many of Pastor Osteen’s witty remarks and “laugh-out-loud” funny jokes that put his captive audiences at ease and inspire ...

Novella. College freshman Hannah dreams of becoming an artist for a major motion picture studio. And, she’s got a shot…if she can get Max Stone to sign a few little forms. Max Stone. The Max Stone – the studio’s hottest, top-ranked, action star. Dark hair. Golden Eyes. Max. Maybe she’ll get to draw him. Maybe she’ll get a date out of this. Or, two, or three...Sure, Max never dates a girl more than twice. And, he doesn’t date nice girls, or co-workers, or crazy artists…and Hannah is all three….but if Max thinks Hannah will take ‘no’ for an answer, he doesn’t know ...

Deadly Threads A Thread & Tangle Mystery – Book One By M.C. Needleton Welcome to Ivy Ridge — where the quilts are colorful, the gossip is quick, and murder is always one stitch away. Everly Faye Galloway isn’t just the owner of A Stitch in Time, Ivy Ridge’s beloved quilt shop — she’s also a lifelong lover of vintage mysteries, strong tea, and a good hometown scandal. But when a break-in at her shop leads to the discovery of a dead body, Everly is forced to swap her needle for a magnifying glass. The victim? A stranger… with a surprising link to the town librarian. The lead ...

It should’ve been such fun... Aria Whitmore has enough on her plate: Hazel’s sudden revelation, her mother’s romantic obsession with Mayor Donovan, and, of course, Kiwi’s latest food obsession – fudge. "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" When her mother is found hovering over the dead body of Sandra Webb, Aria knows the craziness is just beginning – especially since Sandra was the creator of Kiwi’s beloved fudge. Although Sandra was loved by many for the delicious fudge she baked, she had just as many enemies. Including Molly Anderson, a neighbor who hated Sandra ...

Arlie Biggar is back in Alaska with his new family. Life is nice and boring ... until his pregnant wife is kidnapped! Copycat terrorists have recruited local thugs to help them steal guns from the sporting goods store. When his wife gets in their way, will Arlie be able to get her back or will a ringer come in and save the day? Clean action adventure with a smattering of humor.

I’m Seymour…Parakeet Detective. My owner, Sharon, and I are on the Sasquatch watch! The creature stalking quiet Mountain Springs is nosy and newsworthy. We’ll find out more than we bargained for. This monster may hold the key to my human existence in a bird body. But I’ve got to survive to find out. Jump in with Sharon and Seymour for a cozy mystery with a paranormal twist.

This audiobook contains hundreds upon hundreds of the most funny and amusing jokes - so you can fall on the ground and start laughing your head off! You only live once, but if you live it right, then once is enough. These jokes will get you laughing for hours upon hours. Enjoy! Get it now.

"Witty dialogue peppers a plot full of delectable details exposing the foibles and follies of the age… another playfully perfect Regency-era romp.” -- Publishers Weekly Starred Review Five years in the past, Morgan Drummond, Marquis of Westham, deserted London after his curst temper nearly ended his best friend’s life. But now Morgan has beaten down his devils, assured himself he is rehabilitated enough to return to the city, intent on finding a suitable (and likewise mild-mannered) wife. Alas, so much for the best-laid plans of mice and men…and Morgan Drummond. He arrives to find ...

Emma spends her days working her magic into beautiful quilts for newlyweds and newborns. She also works protection and love spells into knitted hats, sweaters, and other items she sells in her boutique fabric and yarn store. Coming from a long line of stitch witches, she’s supposed to be love and light all the time. And she usually is… until Gavin swaggers by her front pane glass windows. The owner of the sports bar next door makes her blood boil to the point she’s done some things she’s not exactly proud of. Plus her ancestor witches might throw a little backlash her way if she ...

When a beautiful detective rolls into town with superior sleuthing skills, Luke and Bandit might just be out of a job. A charming baker-detective moves to Crystal Falls and wins over the town with her pastries, crime solving skills, and cuddly cat. But when a string of burglaries confound the police, Luke and Bandit must scramble to out-sleuth the new investigator before she takes over as the town detective. The burglaries take a deadly turn, and Luke’s telepathic link with his dog Bandit is more vital than ever to sniff out the criminal. The suspect list grows as Luke works from the ...

Hundreds of clean jokes for you, your family, and your kids.

Do you believe in magic potions? Neither does Alexandra. When Alex and her BFF concoct a special formula for their chemistry class, they stumble on some highly unusual results. But now, Alex finds herself falling for Mason Miller, her brother's best friend and the bane of her existence. Theories and hypotheses work great in the lab. But the question Alex needs to answer is much less scientific . . . Can a potion turn enemies into starry-eyed lovers or is magic something you make?

An arranged engagement goes sideways when the guy lays eyes on the wrong girl first. Noah Rush has only one job to do for his father's company: win over the competition's daughter. Although he's not crazy about the idea of an arranged engagement, he falls head over heels at their first meeting. Except ... it's the wrong girl. Keeley Castle has one job on this vacation: help her cousin Echo forget Mr. Wrong and focus on the business deal with the Rush Holdings heir. She had zero plans of getting in the way of a multi-faceted merger by finding Noah irresistible. Now Noah has to choose between...

The Bennet Sisters: taking fate for a wild spin In this modern collision with Pride and Prejudice, college freshman Liz Bennet refuses to let her name—or Jane Austen—define her. Even though she’s one of five teenage sisters named after the Bennet sisters in The Book, as Liz not-so-fondly calls it, she can’t afford to let her life parallel The Book in any way. Period. Liz has big plans for her future, and they don't mesh with the life laid out for a fictional young woman 200 years ago. When Charlie Bingham and Alex Darcy arrive in Liz’s Minnesota town, her whole world flips upside ...

Brainfreeze's Would You Rather Book for Kids is packed full of challenging, mind boggling questions that you and your family can enjoy. The challenge is simple: You must choose from one of two answers to each question and decide which you'd rather.

She’s the new nanny to her own triplets—surprise! Although dancer Robin Lindstrom was an egg donor eight years ago, she never knew if any children resulted. Now, out of work, she takes a job as nanny for stern widower Flint Harris. His mischievous triplets have driven away all the other nannies, but not her. The precocious kids have snooped and found out that Robin’s their biological mother—plus, they like her. That’s why they maneuvered their dad into hiring her. Unaware of the trio’s plotting, Robin and Flint fall in love, but they’re complete opposites. It’s going to take...

MISS ELIZA'S GENTLEMAN CALLER is a clean, sweet, wholesome Regency romance set in London following the close of the Napoleonic war. Young and innocent, Miss Eliza Foxburn is alarmed when her widower father begins courting a nineteen-year-old young lady whose father is in trade! Eliza believes the tendre is making her father look like an old fool! What better way to show him how ridiculous he looks than by encouraging a much older gentleman to come calling on her! At thirty-eight, the dashing General March Huntley is hardly over the hill. Back in London after a long military campaign, he's ...

The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly wrong. A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end. Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped? Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled? A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever ...