Funny Clean

Never marry a tennis player. Love means nothing to them. I think I might have scoliosis. How do I know? Let’s just say, I have a hunch. I just heard there's a nudist's convention next week. I might go if I've got nothing on. Do you think oranges become juice willingly? Or are they getting pressured into it? I have a phobia of speed bumps, but I’m slowly getting over it. Seriously, what are Roman numerals actually good IV? I got a rejection letter from the origami university today. I’m not sure what to make of it. --------- This book contains some jokes which may be unsuitable for kids...

The last person she should have a crush on is her new student’s father! Erin When I meet the new student in my third grade class I can’t stop thinking about her handsome single dad. My mother tricks me into babysitting for her after school, but I know she’s really on a matchmaking quest. I’m going to resist her not-so-subtle efforts to get me married off, but resisting Adam is harder than I expected. Adam My daughter and I moved to the small town of Cedar Creek to have a fresh start after a long and painful custody battle with my ex-wife. As a medical professional, I’m trained to ...

There's no such thing as a second chance. My fears of becoming an old, shut-in cat lady are shelved when I’m invited to go on tour after appearing in a popular singing competition. It sounds like a dream come true until my ex, Warren, shows up unannounced and with horrible timing. Did he have to see me in public, wearing pajama pants and greasy, unwashed hair? Classy. Warren’s gorgeous singing voice and Southern charm are hard to ignore, but I will stay focused, even if it’s the death of me. Easier said than done when one glance from him makes my insides turn to mush. Warren doesn’t...

Fame and fortune should be good enough for him. I swore never to return to Texas, but my boss insisted I go scout out the next big music talent. I’d argue, but then someone might find out I grew up in a place that was the definition of unsophisticated. Boo. So when I find myself in a backwood, honky-tonk bar, all I want to do is get out of there before someone recognizes me. Of course, my ex-fiancé had to saunter through the door, and right as he took the stage, he totally saw me tip out of my chair. I will never live that down. All I have to do is convince Tyson to take the offer he’d...

"My son has started devouring this series and says he LOVES the books!" Book 8 in the award-winning Wright Cousin Adventures series. Secret bases, missing airplanes, and an unsolved World War 2 mystery! “Jonathan, get us out of here!” The Wright Cousins have their hands full trying to recover not just one, but two airplanes! While visiting the second plane, the cousins discover a new secret lurking deep in Lake Pinecone, far more dangerous than they ever expected! Will all their carefully made plans be wrecked? “This is a fun-filled, family friendly adventure that will appeal to ...

She is one headache he can't get rid of. Daniel Wilson is a total suit. His dying mom’s wish was for him to save her art gallery. Much to his dismay, he keeps his promise and works with all the headaches A.K.A the artists. Suzy Alexander is a young artist hoping to make a name for herself but has no clue how to do it. Suzy and Daniel clash even though romantic sparks fly. She doesn't want him but needs him to survive. And he doesn't know if he can let her go. Will they make a complete mess of their relationship or turn it into a romantic masterpiece?

When cupcake-loving croupier Tiffany Black is asked to investigate a suspicious book club member, she never expects her client to disappear under mysterious circumstances. But when Violeta Redgrave goes missing, Tiffany and Ian find themselves trying to uncover just what happened to her, and why she hired them in the first place… Meanwhile, Tiffany is house-sitting for her friend Jack Weber, and she and Ian find themselves entangled with an unusual secret society. Praise for A.R. Winters: "Fans of Stephanie Plum, meet Tiffany Black, A.R. Winters's new heroine." - Rea, Amazon.com "You fall...

A Bed and Breakfast Mystery When Laura’s friend Ashley joins the Paradise Bed and Breakfast team, it seems like things are finally going to work out – until Ashley gets accused of murder. With all guests and staff trapped inside the house by an out-of-season storm and flash flooding, Laura must put on her detective hat and determine who could’ve killed wealthy businessman Harold Jepsen – his unhappy wife, a disgruntled employee, his frustrated daughter or set-to-inherit brother and sister-in-law? Meanwhile, the sleazy property developer Nicholas Lloyd continues with his dirty tricks...

This marriage will be a convenient business arrangement and nothing more. No strings attached, and above all—no broken hearts. Growing up in a broken home taught me to watch out for myself, and that the only love out there is what I create. That's why I stick to taking care of my baby sister and the hodgepodge of wildlife I volunteer to rehabilitate. Add in a stray puppy I found under the car with the help of Wil, a grumpy single dad move-in to Button Blossom, and everything’s good. He's cute. (The puppy, not Wil…well, okay. Wil's broody, which also makes him a teensy bit hot.) Except...

A Cupcakes-And-Crime Caper Roger Owen’s business isn’t doing well, and when he takes his wife and son to glitzy, glamorous Las Vegas for some quality family vacation time, he brings along a surprising +1: his mistress! "Winters will have you giggling into your book!" Life seems to pick up for Roger when he wins a huge jackpot… until someone gleefully kills him on the casino floor. Caught in the hot seat as suspect number one, Roger’s wife Wendy hires Tiffany and Ian to clear her name and to solve the mystery of who really killed Roger Owen—even though it may very well be black ...

My heart’s a mess, but a charming veterinarian might have all the right remedies. The last place I thought I’d be after becoming a pediatrician is back in my hometown. I was supposed to be traveling the world, running medical clinics for underprivileged children, with a man who should have proposed by now. Instead, he dumped me. Wait. What? With my life on hold, I’ve sought refuge running a mobile pediatric clinic. The work is satisfying, and I have a great view of the hunky veterinarian across the street. Milo Fox is arguably the hottest bachelor in a 50-mile radius. With my heart in...

My husband gave me divorce papers for Christmas, and I've been free-falling ever since. It’s been ten months since then, and I'm still scrambling to find a new landing spot. My ex didn’t just shatter my heart; he stole the gear shop I started. So, now I'm untethered and climbing solo. My new rock-climbing instructor seems eager to be my anchor every time I crash. And I might be willing to give him a chance except for one thing—he’s five years younger than me. And that's an age difference I'm not willing to traverse. Even though I’m ignoring him, Cliff seems determined to overcome ...

Can a marriage of convenience uncover the truth? Merle Larsen doesn't believe in love. But he needs a wife to inherit the ranch, and the waitress at the local diner seems to be single, sweet, and not expecting too much of life. He can't offer his heart, but he can offer to take care of her. Lu is glad to have snagged a waitress job in a small town where nobody knows her. It's safe, but lonely... At least she can dream about the rugged cowboy at table four, even though he belongs to the town's most powerful family. When Merle asks Lu for a loveless marriage of convenience, she can't make ...

It’s time for another holiday adventure in the charming town of Winterwood and next up is the Easter Experience. When a group of elderly residents launch a protest to shut down the bed and breakfast, Grace must rally her spirits to overcome the obstacles thrown in her path. As the protests turn to sabotage and the stakes continue to rise, Grace finds solace in the arms of her cowboy, until an unexpected blast from the past puts even that in question. Just when all seems lost, a new guest arrives—a former child actor seeking solace from the world. As old friendships are rekindled and new...

Welcome to the Breezy Spoon Diner, where murderous matrimony is on the menu! Dani O'Shea is used to serving up great food, great conversation and down-home hospitality at the Breezy Spoon Diner to the hungry townsfolk in the quirky little town of East Spoon Creek City, so catering a wedding reception for a friend is easy as pie, right? It is until an uninvited guest crashes the party and gets murdered! When a wealthy avocado magnate drinks poison at the wedding reception after making a shocking speech about changing his will, Dani must sort out which one of his shady relatives was willing ...

An outdoor enthusiasts’ haven is rocked by scandal when ancient Anasazi ruins are discovered on property owned by unpopular businessperson, Calamity Joan. When Joan is suddenly, mysteriously killed, blame falls on the owner of the bed and breakfast where Tiffany and Rosie are staying. Could these Anasazi ruins have led to Joan’s death? Tiffany and Rosie find themselves in the middle of a web of dark secrets, scrambling to uncover the truth before it’s too late… Praise for A.R. Winters: "The perfect balance of being lighthearted, but still a serious page-turning mystery." - Jaycie D,...

When the Swan Of The Sea's housekeeping manager is found dead near a shipping container, the crew is rocked—and not just by the waves. The ship’s security chief, Steve Johnson, is benched due to a long (and loud) history of arguments with the victim, Luisa Diaz. So temporary Captain Ethan Lee turns to the one person who always manages to find trouble—and solve it: Addi. The deeper Addi digs, the murkier things get. From a secret burglary ring to a scammed gambler with a grudge, Luisa had plenty of enemies—and plenty of secrets. Why was Luisa snooping around passengers’ rooms ...

Addrienne is surprised to learn that a Bed and Breakfast association from England is holding their annual conference on board the ship. She's excited to meet some of the vendors, especially those who supply desserts and other snacks to the B&Bs, and are offering some of their samples to cruise participants... Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games when the former head of the association is found murdered - and Addi and her friends must uncover the killer before the cruise ends!

A Luxury Cruise. A Murder at Sea. A Treasure Worth Killing For. What starts as a relaxing cruise for Addi, Sam, and Cece quickly turns into a nightmare at sea. One minute, they’re enjoying ocean views—the next, they’re stranded in a lifeboat, heading toward a deserted island. Somewhere nearby, stolen World War II gold is hidden beneath the waves. But before they can even begin to unravel the mystery, a private investigator is murdered aboard the ship, leaving them with more questions than answers. With a killer on the loose, sharks circling the island, and danger at every turn, the ...

A Vacation Gone Deadly. A Town Full of Secrets. A Killer Who’s Just Getting Started. Tiffany Black and Rosie wanted a break. Instead, they land in Duck’s Head—a town where people are disappearing, secrets run deep, and the next body could be theirs. When a local vanishes and a corpse turns up, their relaxing getaway turns into a race to catch a killer. Good thing Tiffany’s boyfriend Stone shows up, all broody and heroic. Even better? Nanna’s in town, armed with killer instincts and a purse that packs more surprises than a magician’s hat. The bodies are stacking up, the clues ...