Funny Clean

Deadly Threads A Thread & Tangle Mystery – Book One By M.C. Needleton Welcome to Ivy Ridge — where the quilts are colorful, the gossip is quick, and murder is always one stitch away. Everly Faye Galloway isn’t just the owner of A Stitch in Time, Ivy Ridge’s beloved quilt shop — she’s also a lifelong lover of vintage mysteries, strong tea, and a good hometown scandal. But when a break-in at her shop leads to the discovery of a dead body, Everly is forced to swap her needle for a magnifying glass. The victim? A stranger… with a surprising link to the town librarian. The lead ...

Leashes tangled, hearts untangled. One minute Lizzy's chasing a runaway Labrador, the next she's caught in a charming connection with the dog's owner, Mark. They feel like they've known each other forever... A little crazy, perhaps. But while having some family fun, navigating well-meaning friends, and a few unexpected deer, their sweet connection blossoms. Will their instant spark grow into lasting love? Prepare for all the swoony sighs and hilarious mishaps of a classic rom-com, served up squeaky clean. No closed-door shenanigans here, just pure, delightful connection. So, what are you ...

Rose and Larry Wilford are hitting the highway on their next RV adventure. Ben and Betsy Stevenson are right behind them in their 5th wheel. The other two Early Birds, Jeff and Mary Wells, promise to hook up with them as soon as they finish some ‘business’ in Colorado. On their way to Florida, the foursome make a stop in Mississippi. Soon Rosie wonders if they’ll ever get On the Road Again. The RVs have stalled in Biloxi and it has nothing to do with mechanical issues in any of their rigs. They’ve found another church that needs their help. Rose, Betsy and Mary spend their days as ...

Do you believe in magic potions? Neither does Alexandra. When Alex and her BFF concoct a special formula for their chemistry class, they stumble on some highly unusual results. But now, Alex finds herself falling for Mason Miller, her brother's best friend and the bane of her existence. Theories and hypotheses work great in the lab. But the question Alex needs to answer is much less scientific . . . Can a potion turn enemies into starry-eyed lovers or is magic something you make?

A broken-down fugitive with nothing to lose, an arms dealer hiding a deadly secret and an elderly robot set to inherit a vast fortune... it's a typical cargo job for freighter pilot Hal Spacejock and his offsider, Clunk. Baker's Dough features intense rivalry, sublime double-crosses and more greed than a free buffet.

Imagine you're one of the smartest people in the country and you're barely old enough to drive. With a brain that size you become the priceless prey for the powerful and greedy. I keep sharp so I'm no one's 'nerd'. But when I'm forced to join four other geniuses (including a beautiful but driven hottie named Taylor) to work on a "corporate sponsored' project with connections to murder and espionage...I have to put my IQ into high gear. It's a deadly race to save myself, my friends...and maybe even the world.

Emma spends her days working her magic into beautiful quilts for newlyweds and newborns. She also works protection and love spells into knitted hats, sweaters, and other items she sells in her boutique fabric and yarn store. Coming from a long line of stitch witches, she’s supposed to be love and light all the time. And she usually is… until Gavin swaggers by her front pane glass windows. The owner of the sports bar next door makes her blood boil to the point she’s done some things she’s not exactly proud of. Plus her ancestor witches might throw a little backlash her way if she ...

Everyone wants to find Eden’s Paradise, except me. Aiden Hunter's a southern hottie that's rescued me so many times that it's starting to get embarrassing. To be honest, I'd be more grateful if I didn't suspect him of putting me in danger in the first place—a danger that keeps growing the closer I get to him. When my twin brother, Brecker, told me about a new lead in the Uintas to find the treasure that's been haunting our family for generations, the only thing forcing me to tag along is bad luck--PURE bad luck! That family curse we like to joke about is starting to feel horribly real. ...

MISS ELIZA'S GENTLEMAN CALLER is a clean, sweet, wholesome Regency romance set in London following the close of the Napoleonic war. Young and innocent, Miss Eliza Foxburn is alarmed when her widower father begins courting a nineteen-year-old young lady whose father is in trade! Eliza believes the tendre is making her father look like an old fool! What better way to show him how ridiculous he looks than by encouraging a much older gentleman to come calling on her! At thirty-eight, the dashing General March Huntley is hardly over the hill. Back in London after a long military campaign, he's ...

Hundreds of clean jokes for you, your family, and your kids.

A love spell? Ha! Yeah right. Magic isn't real. That's what I thought too, until a bunch of random guys started falling for me and expressing their feelings in the most preposterous ways! Now I'm the most popular girl in the library, and it's not all it's cracked up to be. I wish things would go back to normal... a nice, boring normal where I watch Netflix, read books, and get teased by my friend and fellow librarian, Oakley. But... wait. The hottest guy in the world is in love with me too. Maybe it's not so bad? Abracatastrophe is a sweet, short romantic comedy with a touch of magic.

When a beautiful detective rolls into town with superior sleuthing skills, Luke and Bandit might just be out of a job. A charming baker-detective moves to Crystal Falls and wins over the town with her pastries, crime solving skills, and cuddly cat. But when a string of burglaries confound the police, Luke and Bandit must scramble to out-sleuth the new investigator before she takes over as the town detective. The burglaries take a deadly turn, and Luke’s telepathic link with his dog Bandit is more vital than ever to sniff out the criminal. The suspect list grows as Luke works from the ...

Rockstar dreams don’t come true, at least not for Jayla Bennett. So why is Spencer living out all his dreams touring the country while his ex-girlfriend/former bandmate is stuck struggling through mundane days at a 9-5 she can’t stand? Was it a case of bad timing? Did life get in the way? Or did Spencer just not love her enough to reach out when Reciprocity finally hit it big? Spencer’s avoided his hometown like the plague since leaving four years ago. He hasn’t set foot in Graybush, let alone the house he grew up in, not since his mother died right beside his dreams of going to ...

The invitation to bring humanity into the galactic community of intelligent species was going horribly wrong. A trail of dead aliens seem to follow Jeff Abel's every step, each envoy and ambassador meeting an untimely end. Is Jeff the hapless victim of some sinister plan, or is he the galaxy's scourge that needs to be stopped? Is humanity's invitation about to be canceled? A science fiction adventure novel, A Beginner's Guide to Invading Earth tells the story of a reclusive ex-computer programmer turned pot-washer who is the unwitting central figure of a plot to keep humanity from ever ...

Now everyone’s stuck… In the aftermath of a foiled invasion, the troubled hub of a thousand worlds has become isolated. Someone broke the interplanetary elevator, and no one knows how to fix it, not even Jeff Abel, the Galactic Commons newest citizen. But mankind’s first ambassador to another world has other problems. Two thousand extraterrestrials are stranded back on Earth. Jordan, the only other human in the alien city, isn’t returning his calls. And Irving the Grey, the mastermind behind the city’s woes, has escaped. It has begun to dawn on Jeff that getting a job with ...

Ho, ho, huh? When Clara meets and falls in love with Nicky, she has no clue who he is. He says he’s going to inherit the family business up north, but little does she know it’s at the North Pole. Then Nicky claims he’s going to be the next Santa when his father retires. And she can never tell anyone. Ever. Clara is used to life in balmy Florida. If she wants to be with Nicky, they have to live at the frigid North Pole. With his parents. And talking reindeer, walking snowmen, and elves. What has Clara gotten herself into? Join the Claus family for Christmas magic, a whirlwind romance, ...

Novella. College freshman Hannah dreams of becoming an artist for a major motion picture studio. And, she’s got a shot…if she can get Max Stone to sign a few little forms. Max Stone. The Max Stone – the studio’s hottest, top-ranked, action star. Dark hair. Golden Eyes. Max. Maybe she’ll get to draw him. Maybe she’ll get a date out of this. Or, two, or three...Sure, Max never dates a girl more than twice. And, he doesn’t date nice girls, or co-workers, or crazy artists…and Hannah is all three….but if Max thinks Hannah will take ‘no’ for an answer, he doesn’t know ...

Will a mixture of pranks, revenge, and a global pandemic explode in danger or ignite hilarious, unexpected results? Marty Golden wishes this prequel novella was his superhero origin story but alas, he’s merely a mild-mannered Silicon Valley geek whose skills of self-delusion, daydreaming, and attention to detail are put to the ultimate challenge—entertaining his nieces. See Marty before he becomes the super-sleuthing, crime-busting hero of the Silicon Valley Mystery series. In this short read, you’ll meet the lovable hero, an amateur sleuth who constantly frustrates and astounds ...

Wren Sterling has a problem. Her charming, arrogant ex is getting married, and the thought of him seeing her dateless at the wedding is giving her hives. Enter Operation Pretend Boyfriend: a desperate plan to hire an actor to play the role of her doting, successful new beau. Ronan Hayes is perfect for the part. Handsome, charming, and with a knack for making grandmothers swoon, he’s ready to give Wren’s ex a serious case of regret. But as Wren and Ronan navigate disastrous dance lessons, competitive croquet matches, and a runaway swan with a vendetta against designer suits, their ...

★★★★★ “The perfect read for anyone who loves their romance with a side of self-discovery and humor.” Finding yourself is messy, but love—and banana bread—makes it worth the journey. Claire O’Hara is six months sober, and while life without alcohol is clearer, it’s also a lot more complicated. With her toxic ex-boyfriend reappearing, her meddling family pushing all the wrong buttons, and her newfound love for banana bread baking threatening to overtake her tiny kitchen, Claire feels like she’s barely holding it together. Enter Daniel Blackwood, a maddeningly calm life...