Funny Christmas

This Christmas, magic is just a touch away… When young Lucy picks out the perfect Christmas tree, she has no idea that her mother’s gift—five sparkling glass ornaments—holds a secret. The moment Lucy hangs the first one, she’s whisked away into a world of enchantment, mystery, and adventure. Trapped inside the magical ornaments, Lucy must summon her courage, make unlikely friends (including a mischievous monkey), and uncover the truth behind an old curse. Time is ticking, and she must journey through each magical realm before the clock strikes midnight on Christmas Eve. Will Lucy ...

When Lisa Marsh reluctantly agrees to serve Thanksgiving dinner at the local community center, she’s not prepared for the chaos that ensues. Between the lively teenagers, fiercely independent veterans, eccentric seniors, and one particularly gruff homeless man named Pete, the evening spirals into a disaster. But when her best friend dares her to do more, Lisa accepts the challenge: she’s going to help Pete turn his life around—whether he likes it or not. Her plan? Simple: clean him up (starting with a shave), find him a job, and make him respectable. Pete, however, has no interest in ...

Fantasy, mystery, and adventure collide in this exciting story that will leave you believing in the magic of Christmas! The perfect book for kids ages 8 to 12 this holiday season. Leo spends his time drinking hot cocoa, inventing new toys, and celebrating Christmas––but he is no ordinary elf! Leo is Santa’s guardian and sworn protector of the North Pole. Leo's life is pretty great, until the day Santa Claus tells him the world’s Christmas Spirit is in danger. With Christmas just around the corner, Santa Claus sends Leo on a mission to find the evil Sorrow King, a powerful wizard who...

What sounds good at the bar may seem crazy the next day. Holly is the most studious of her sorority sisters, for her it's books, books, books. But when her hot billionaire hero gets bombarded with matchmaking mama antics, she steps up to help. So what if he’s attractive, elusive, and only wants temporary. She can be close to Chance without falling in love with him. Chance Kentwell likes to go fast and seize all of life’s joys. His only loyalties are to his stock portfolio, his graduation plans, and his billionaire brothers. When he sees his oldest brother speeding toward an engagement ...

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

What’s scarier? An ax murderer or a family Christmas? Mom wants to make the most of Christmas in Montana. I want to catch a killer. Surprisingly, my girlfriend meeting my family isn’t the worst thing to happen. Turns out killers don’t take off the holidays. If I can solve this murder quickly, I can guarantee all the killer gets for Christmas is a pair of handcuffs and a jail cell. Is that too big of a Christmas miracle? Holt Jacobs isn’t for everyone. He’s a sarcastic introvert who can never get quite enough coffee. Becoming a sarcastic sleuth was unexpected, but as an engineer, ...

An evil business man, Mossman Bossman, has sacked all his staff four days before Christmas, and replaced them with robots. Furthermore, he has developed a machine to make all Christmas dinners tasteless. Only one man can stop him, Joe Drimmer. Can Joe elicit help from Santa Claus to prevent Bossman execute his evil plans?

It’s the first Christmas without their father, and Rán Hollander is determined to make it the most perfect Christmas ever for her family. She’s bought the huge turkey. She’s made the pieces for the gingerbread house and even found a perfect little Santa and Mrs. Santa for the doorstep.But then fate intervenes. The troubles start when Rán’s boss turns into Scrooge. Then the snowstorm of the century arrives and the turkey refuses to thaw. And that’s just the beginning. Join Rán for this uplifting, heart-warming tale of how an unexpected bunny, two lost girls, and a magic ...

An astronomer, an astrologer, and a cult leader walk into a hotel… And the next thing you know, everyone is a murder suspect— even the hotel owner’s dog. Join Arizona rural hotel owner Eve as she tries to make sense of a New Year’s Eve cliffside stargazing campout gone wrong. The new year begins with the mysterious disappearance of not one, but two of Eve’s guests. When one is found in bizarre circumstances, it creates more questions than answers and fuels the flame of confusion. When the other missing guest is found dead, the uncertain cause of events requires the assistance of ...

Nothing breaks the ice like a frozen wife and whiskey. In the murderously hot kingdom of Lithowania—an island so deliberately missing from maps that explorers go to "great pains" to exclude it—Captain Slavic Kristofferson arrives with the ultimate diplomatic strategy: a massive ice sculpture of his wife's face. Where previous negotiators earned only spears in their hulls, Kristofferson's whiskey-on-ice and innovative snow machine soon have the natives building temples to frozen Hilda. After all, when you've spent your entire existence melting, the sudden discovery of "cold" becomes ...

'Farting in a lift.... it's wrong on so many levels' A sh*t load of dad jokes that have been compiled and created by Joe King to entertain Dad's (and mums!) on whilst on the toilet. With over 500 jokes, you will love this! A superb gift to those dad's who think they are funny yet actually need some new jokes!

If there was one piece of advice Olive Crisp always followed, it was that "one should never attempt to solve a crime on an empty stomach..." 1970s. Cambridge, England. A COLD CASE AT CHRISTMAS: After officially launching her Biscuit Tin Detective Agency, Olive is delighted when she receives her first case. Miss Westmacott asks her to investigate a cold case: the disappearance of her sister, Enid, over 50 years ago. Having waited months for a bite, the detective agency café is finally in business! A COSY COMMUNITY: Together with Hugo, Olive reopens the case and tracks down the remaining ...

A posh holiday party. The highest stakes. And more than a little danger.... A secretive philanthropist books Betty Snickerdoodle's brand new inn for her elite, ultra-private holiday poker tournament. With the hefty fee she's offering, it seems like Christmas has come a few days early--especially since the inn's not even open yet! But Bea Sickles--the savvy, 70-something ex-poker pro turned author behind Betty Snickerdoodle--smells trouble. "Might be a special gift from Santa," Bea says. "Or we might be getting a scam in our stocking." The set-up is undeniably odd. And as the tycoons settle ...

Kids who love video games, especially Minecraft, will love the hilarious ‘Game on Boys’ series. Designed to appeal to the heart of any boy or girl, with its captivating story lines, whacky illustrations and side-splitting humor, as well as lots of awesome gaming content. They won’t want to put it down. Ryan James is crazy about video games and obsessed with Minecraft. Sometimes he really wishes he could live in a world like Minecraft instead of with his boring family who do boring things ALL THE TIME! In a moment of anger over his family's dreary holiday plans, Ryan wishes a little ...

Tristan Briggs is the reason Santa has a naughty list. He’s also my only hope for surviving the holidays. All I want for Christmas is to stay alive. Alone and on the run, I thought I was safe. Until my new life goes up in flames. Literally. Now old secrets are back to haunt me, and there’s no place left to hide. Tall, dark, and deadly, Tristan is everything I’m running from. He’s a hitman on the hunt for revenge. And I’m about to beg him to stuff my stocking. Can Tristan put the ghosts of my past to rest? Or am I doomed to an awful Christmas present?

Enjoy another slay-ride with this collection of Christmas horror stories. Creepy Christmas is the second volume in the series of holiday related terror penned by author Toby Bennett. A man who looked down the winding years of his tedious life and realized that he was more appalled by cheap cards and plastic trees than anything that might issue from the stygian depths of Dante’s pit. Join him this year for an alien invasion, an encounter with a yuletide psychopath and a traditional Wight Christmas. Not to mention the Boxing Day bonus. Four stories, a few laughs and one or two scares to ...

This Holiday, the Cookies Aren’t the Only Things That Are Killer... Murder, magic, and mistletoe collide in this laugh-out-loud, pulse-pounding holiday cozy paranormal mystery that’s perfect for fans of Juliet Blackwell, Addie Woolridge, and supernatural sleuths with sass. In the enchanted town of Mistletoe Grove, the holidays are more hexed than merry when magical citizens start turning up in deadly, spellbound Christmas displays. For kitchen witch Prudence Blackwood and her reluctant partner—a brooding vampire detective named Viktor Constantine—the countdown to Christmas becomes a...

Hello, I’m Tangelo. I’m cute, I’m orange, and I love nothing more than a good ribbon tangle. Or any tangle, really. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my creations. Well, they don’t understand art like I do, do they!? Just imagine, my biggest and best creation and the mum two-legs says, “Tangelo, you naughty kitty, what have you done?” Hey, what did she expect after accidentally shutting me in a room full of Christmas decorations? Ok, ok, I admit. I sneaked in. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? Certainly not this tangle-loving ...

A cop, a pig, & a potty mouthed parrot walk into a bar. A Santa Claus thief, two special friends, pirates on the high seas, treasure hunts, lost dogs, an unruly pot-bellied pig, and a Jersey cow in the wrong place at the wrong time, spell trouble for Seal Island residents this Christmas. It is up to Gertrude, a pot-bellied pig, and her cohort, Peaches, a Jersey cow, to help save Christmas from a Grinch-like Santa Claus thief who decides that Seal Island is the perfect place for his base of operations while Betty & Reggie are out of commission having been kidnapped by smugglers on the high ...

Escape the horrors of the festive season with this collection of zany and horrific tales. Thrill to the cries of bad children facing Krampus. Laugh along with Dr. Giggles holiday entertainer and quail before Frosty the incensed snowman. All with a healthy dose of idol worship, humour and irreverence… get this Christmas Cult Classic now!