Funny Christmas

Swipe Right for Disaster (A Holiday Novella) Lark Finley isn't exactly feeling the holiday spirit when her best friend signs her up for the Mistletoe Match Dating App—a Christmas-themed matchmaking service with one goal: find your perfect match before Christmas Day. But after a series of disastrous dates, Lark is ready to give up on love, the app, and maybe even Christmas altogether. The one bright spot in her holiday chaos? Liam, the sexy, easygoing bartender who’s been quietly watching her dating disasters unfold from the sidelines. As Christmas approaches and the pressure to find “...

Inspector Tuffle here, Scotland Yard. Speaking with the retiree seated before me in her Florida home. I have knowledge of a Christmas situation from 1964. Been keeping an envelope in my coat pocket while interrogating Ms. Helen Spencer on her 1960s experiences. It’s time to explore what happened. What exactly was Ms Spencer doing leading up to the Beatles Christmas shows of 1964? Who was the masked man? And why has she offered no information on it? All of London was scared, however she remains tight-lipped. A few things are certain: she was there, she worked with the Beatles… and no one...

Dear Readers, Thank you for choosing this book! Before diving in, please note: this is NOT a children’s book. If you purchased this expecting a festive tale for little ones, please reconsider—this story was written with an adult audience in mind. Think of it as a glimpse into the real North Pole—without the sugarcoating. The characters here are as human as the rest of us, with all the complexities and imperfections that come with it. You’ll find adult language and themes that aren’t suitable for younger readers. You’ve been warned! Now, let’s dive into the story... The North ...

A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar.... They’re all Owen Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour.

Hilarious misadventures. Christmas at Hill Top Inn, is a light-hearted tale that captures the spirit of Christmas and the warmth of a group of coach travellers unexpectedly thrown together in a snowstorm. The unexpected arrival of the guests leads to a series of comic situations, highlighting Molly and Dave's naivety at running a pub and the eccentricities of the guests. The situation is saved by the ever talented, Jack. A local handyman who lives in a caravan down in the valley, who comes to their rescue time and time again, becoming a good friend in the process. Unexpected twists and ...

'Farting in a lift.... it's wrong on so many levels' A sh*t load of dad jokes that have been compiled and created by Joe King to entertain Dad's (and mums!) on whilst on the toilet. With over 500 jokes, you will love this! A superb gift to those dad's who think they are funny yet actually need some new jokes!

Hello, I’m Tippytoes. I’m magical, I’m yellow, and I love nothing more than a good magical spell. Unfortunately, my spells don’t always listen to me. Well, I’m only a fairy in training at the moment, you know?! Just imagine, while helping my fairy teacher, I sneeze a magical snowflake into a tree and the entire room erupts into a snowstorm.” Hey, I couldn’t have known that my teeny tiny sneeze would react to the spell my fairy teacher cast earlier, could I? Ok, ok, I admit. I was admiring the magical Christmas tree. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...

An astronomer, an astrologer, and a cult leader walk into a hotel… And the next thing you know, everyone is a murder suspect— even the hotel owner’s dog. Join Arizona rural hotel owner Eve as she tries to make sense of a New Year’s Eve cliffside stargazing campout gone wrong. The new year begins with the mysterious disappearance of not one, but two of Eve’s guests. When one is found in bizarre circumstances, it creates more questions than answers and fuels the flame of confusion. When the other missing guest is found dead, the uncertain cause of events requires the assistance of ...

This Christmas, magic is just a touch away… When young Lucy picks out the perfect Christmas tree, she has no idea that her mother’s gift—five sparkling glass ornaments—holds a secret. The moment Lucy hangs the first one, she’s whisked away into a world of enchantment, mystery, and adventure. Trapped inside the magical ornaments, Lucy must summon her courage, make unlikely friends (including a mischievous monkey), and uncover the truth behind an old curse. Time is ticking, and she must journey through each magical realm before the clock strikes midnight on Christmas Eve. Will Lucy ...

Dr. Georgia Thackery is back at home with her parents after finding a new adjunct position at Bostock College. Everyone is excited for their first family Christmas with nothing to hide. Why? Because Georgia’s daughter, Madison, is now in the know about Sid, their walking, talking family skeleton. But their Christmas cheer is interrupted when the Thackerys' dog, Byron, goes missing on a cold December night. When he’s finally found, he has a femur clutched between his jaws, and Georgia and Madison race to apologize to Sid for letting the dog gnaw on him yet again

When Lisa Marsh reluctantly agrees to serve Thanksgiving dinner at the local community center, she’s not prepared for the chaos that ensues. Between the lively teenagers, fiercely independent veterans, eccentric seniors, and one particularly gruff homeless man named Pete, the evening spirals into a disaster. But when her best friend dares her to do more, Lisa accepts the challenge: she’s going to help Pete turn his life around—whether he likes it or not. Her plan? Simple: clean him up (starting with a shave), find him a job, and make him respectable. Pete, however, has no interest in ...

Fantasy, mystery, and adventure collide in this exciting story that will leave you believing in the magic of Christmas! The perfect book for kids ages 8 to 12 this holiday season. Leo spends his time drinking hot cocoa, inventing new toys, and celebrating Christmas––but he is no ordinary elf! Leo is Santa’s guardian and sworn protector of the North Pole. Leo's life is pretty great, until the day Santa Claus tells him the world’s Christmas Spirit is in danger. With Christmas just around the corner, Santa Claus sends Leo on a mission to find the evil Sorrow King, a powerful wizard who...

An evil business man, Mossman Bossman, has sacked all his staff four days before Christmas, and replaced them with robots. Furthermore, he has developed a machine to make all Christmas dinners tasteless. Only one man can stop him, Joe Drimmer. Can Joe elicit help from Santa Claus to prevent Bossman execute his evil plans?

If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.

What sounds good at the bar may seem crazy the next day. Holly is the most studious of her sorority sisters, for her it's books, books, books. But when her hot billionaire hero gets bombarded with matchmaking mama antics, she steps up to help. So what if he’s attractive, elusive, and only wants temporary. She can be close to Chance without falling in love with him. Chance Kentwell likes to go fast and seize all of life’s joys. His only loyalties are to his stock portfolio, his graduation plans, and his billionaire brothers. When he sees his oldest brother speeding toward an engagement ...

The North Wind and the Sun ******************************* " One day in late spring with the sun shining strong She announced to the North Wind, “You do not belong!” “It’s time you must leave, so things can get hot.” But the North Wind said simply, “Oh, no, I will not.” ********** About Aesop’s Fables ****** Who was Aesop, and why are his fables famous all over the world? In fact, very little is known about this mysterious Ancient Greek figure. He is thought to have been a slave originally from Africa, but even that isn’t known for certain. But his stories, with their ...

If there was one piece of advice Olive Crisp always followed, it was that "one should never attempt to solve a crime on an empty stomach..." 1970s. Cambridge, England. A COLD CASE AT CHRISTMAS: After officially launching her Biscuit Tin Detective Agency, Olive is delighted when she receives her first case. Miss Westmacott asks her to investigate a cold case: the disappearance of her sister, Enid, over 50 years ago. Having waited months for a bite, the detective agency café is finally in business! A COSY COMMUNITY: Together with Hugo, Olive reopens the case and tracks down the remaining ...

It’s the first Christmas without their father, and Rán Hollander is determined to make it the most perfect Christmas ever for her family. She’s bought the huge turkey. She’s made the pieces for the gingerbread house and even found a perfect little Santa and Mrs. Santa for the doorstep.But then fate intervenes. The troubles start when Rán’s boss turns into Scrooge. Then the snowstorm of the century arrives and the turkey refuses to thaw. And that’s just the beginning. Join Rán for this uplifting, heart-warming tale of how an unexpected bunny, two lost girls, and a magic ...

Nothing breaks the ice like a frozen wife and whiskey. In the murderously hot kingdom of Lithowania—an island so deliberately missing from maps that explorers go to "great pains" to exclude it—Captain Slavic Kristofferson arrives with the ultimate diplomatic strategy: a massive ice sculpture of his wife's face. Where previous negotiators earned only spears in their hulls, Kristofferson's whiskey-on-ice and innovative snow machine soon have the natives building temples to frozen Hilda. After all, when you've spent your entire existence melting, the sudden discovery of "cold" becomes ...

What’s scarier? An ax murderer or a family Christmas? Mom wants to make the most of Christmas in Montana. I want to catch a killer. Surprisingly, my girlfriend meeting my family isn’t the worst thing to happen. Turns out killers don’t take off the holidays. If I can solve this murder quickly, I can guarantee all the killer gets for Christmas is a pair of handcuffs and a jail cell. Is that too big of a Christmas miracle? Holt Jacobs isn’t for everyone. He’s a sarcastic introvert who can never get quite enough coffee. Becoming a sarcastic sleuth was unexpected, but as an engineer, ...