Funny Christmas

If she gives you butterflies, brace for trouble. I’m Spencer Dalton—former football star turned sports agent. My life runs on discipline and strategy, not chaos. After a career-ending injury, I rebuilt my world with structure, focus, and a solid plan. Then Sloane Thompson comes along, the walking definition of unpredictable. She’s a creative whirlwind who turns my carefully ordered world upside down when we’re thrown together for a Christmas charity event. Sloane’s spark is impossible to ignore. She’s passionate, fiery, and full of life—the complete opposite of everything I ...

Nothing breaks the ice like a frozen wife and whiskey. In the murderously hot kingdom of Lithowania—an island so deliberately missing from maps that explorers go to "great pains" to exclude it—Captain Slavic Kristofferson arrives with the ultimate diplomatic strategy: a massive ice sculpture of his wife's face. Where previous negotiators earned only spears in their hulls, Kristofferson's whiskey-on-ice and innovative snow machine soon have the natives building temples to frozen Hilda. After all, when you've spent your entire existence melting, the sudden discovery of "cold" becomes ...

Melissa Aspen dreams of owning a charming Bed and Breakfast, and when she steps into a breathtaking Victorian house up for auction, it feels like destiny. But her excitement is dashed when Harry Whittaker, a handsome yet infuriating businessman, enters the picture with his own plans for the property. When both submit identical bids, the owner proposes an unheard of solution: a Christmas Day Cook-Off in her home to decide the winner. Forced to work together through a whirlwind of festive projects, including preparing their Christmas Day dinners, Melissa and Harry clash, collaborate, and ...

'Farting in a lift.... it's wrong on so many levels' A sh*t load of dad jokes that have been compiled and created by Joe King to entertain Dad's (and mums!) on whilst on the toilet. With over 500 jokes, you will love this! A superb gift to those dad's who think they are funny yet actually need some new jokes!

When a romantic Christmas movie starts filming in Crystal Falls, no one thought murder was part of the script. A motion picture company chooses Crystal Falls as the setting for their romantic Christmas movie but when a crew member is murdered and the star of the film is poisoned, Luke and Bandit rush in to solve another mystery in their small hometown. Deadly “accidents” start to plague the production and sightings of an off-balance celebrity stalker sets everyone on edge. Luke searches for clues with help from the telepathic link he shares with his dog Bandit, his cop crush Brooke, and...

What sounds good at the bar may seem crazy the next day. Holly is the most studious of her sorority sisters, for her it's books, books, books. But when her hot billionaire hero gets bombarded with matchmaking mama antics, she steps up to help. So what if he’s attractive, elusive, and only wants temporary. She can be close to Chance without falling in love with him. Chance Kentwell likes to go fast and seize all of life’s joys. His only loyalties are to his stock portfolio, his graduation plans, and his billionaire brothers. When he sees his oldest brother speeding toward an engagement ...

The Riptide is professional baseball’s newest team. It’s also the worst. The players are washed up, lazy, and should have retired a long time ago. Tommy is the team’s biggest fan. He goes to every home game, watches the away games on TV, and even blogs about the Riptide. He knows everything there is know about baseball but is the worst player in his local Little League. So how did he end up on baseball’s biggest stage? Will Panzell is the owner of the team. He’s also completely nuts. He lies, cheats, and schemes to sell tickets to Riptide games. His latest stunt is so bananas it ...

Santa's surprise visit, a backroom deal, a rare map, and someone's been really, really bad. Five holidays tales, including an all-new Samantha Moon short story! "When Sam Met Santa" - When Santa Claus shows up at Samantha Moon's door, it's hardly the strangest thing that's ever happened to her. What happens next, however, is another story... Also included: "The Santa Call" - After accidentally forgetting his wife at home during a weekend getaway, ol’ St. Nick returns to discover she’s left him. At wit’s end, Santa turns to a radio talk show for some much needed love advice. But will ...

Christmas in a mountain town teaches more than one resident what it truly means to forgive. Struggling to take care of his deaf son in a town with no resources, Ethan Knight’s at the end of his rope. When his son is kicked out of preschool, he feels he’s out of options and prays for a miracle. A newcomer to Snow Globe, Montana may be his answer to prayer. London Meriwether leaves her home after the passing of her grandmother, the woman who raised her. She falls in love with Snow Globe, Montana. The small town seems close to perfect. When she meets Ethan Knight, she discovers a way to ...

Kristmas in Kristin- Kristin was seeing stars, the Christmas lights around them blurring in her vision until she had to slam her eyes shut. She was going over the edge any second and she wanted it exactly like she’d always envisioned. Pulling him to her with her thighs, she wrapped her legs around his neck, putting pressure on him until his poor ears were suctioned to her skin. Joey had never felt something so good in his life but he didn’t dare say it. Then she would know, know he was a virgin. She cried out when she fell apart, needing Joey’s arm around her back to keep her from ...

Hello, I’m Star. I’m smart, I’m green, and I love nothing more than collecting beautiful objects and hiding them in my secret lair. Unfortunately, my family of two-legs doesn’t always appreciate my hobby. Well, they don’t understand the art of collecting like I do, do they!? Just imagine, I take one little ornament from the Christmas tree and the mum two-legs says, “Star! You naughty cat!” Hey, do they really expect me to leave all the purrfect shiny thingies on the tree? Ok, ok, I admit. I could try leaving them alone. But honestly, what kitty could resist such temptation? ...

Cupid SantaAn imperfect man and a desperate woman. Driven to find her perfect match, Brie Simpson sets out for Cupid, Texas to test the superstition of dancing naked around the statue to discover true love. Only, to learn destiny betrayed her when she gets handcuffed. After complaints about people dancing naked around the statue, Deputy Stephen Austin is determined to arrest anyone he catches. With good reason he doesn’t believe in the magic of Cupid. When he finds himself in a jam, with no one to help plan the annual Christmas party, he’s forced to turn to his prisoner. Can Cupid bring...

Norma Elliot is a spirited ginger with a head full of orange curls and a heart full of questions. In this winter tale, she navigates life's ups and downs, learning valuable lessons and jotting them down in her secret journal. Far from perfect, Norma’s story is an honest and heartfelt journey of faith, self-discovery, and growing up—perfect for anyone who’s ever felt like a work in progress. With humor and heart, Victoria Simcox brings Norma’s world to life, hoping to remind readers that God’s love isn’t reserved for perfect people. It’s in the mistakes, the laughs, and the ...

Read all of Cindy Blackburn's Cozy Mysteries for FREE with Kindle Unlimited! Welcome to Lake Elizabeth, Vermont, where Santa Claus is due to arrive any day now, and Cassie Baxter is going nuts. Who wouldn’t go nuts? This is her first Christmas with her adopted son Truman, and she’s determined to make it memorable. But that human skull the kid found when he was searching for Christmas decorations in the attic wasn’t exactly part of the plan. And Joe Wylie, Cassie’s supposed boyfriend, isn’t making life any easier during this frantic week before the holiday either. Then there’s ...

Wright is a self-proclaimed word nerd, English language enthusiast, and expert in navigating the absurdities of the world’s quirkiest language. With years of experience untangling grammar inconsistencies and deciphering bizarre spelling rules, Wright explores why "colonel" sounds nothing like it’s spelled, how "read" can mean two different things, and why "i before e except after c" is a complete myth. This book is perfect for lovers of language humor, grammar geeks, and anyone who’s ever questioned why "queue" needs four extra letters—or why "ghoti" can theoretically spell "fish." ...

Rockstar dreams don’t come true, at least not for Jayla Bennett. So why is Spencer living out all his dreams touring the country while his ex-girlfriend/former bandmate is stuck struggling through mundane days at a 9-5 she can’t stand? Was it a case of bad timing? Did life get in the way? Or did Spencer just not love her enough to reach out when Reciprocity finally hit it big? Spencer’s avoided his hometown like the plague since leaving four years ago. He hasn’t set foot in Graybush, let alone the house he grew up in, not since his mother died right beside his dreams of going to ...

Wrapped in Love: A Christmas Story of Forgiveness and Second Chances Lisa is a smart, sexy bombshell who sees men only as a source of pleasure. She never dates exclusively, and there's a reason she never lets them stay all night. Mark is a lawyer and single dad who's focused on raising his young daughter. Love? No thanks, he’s got enough on his plate trying to explain why Santa can’t bring a new mom. But when Lisa struts into Mark's law office, his orderly world turns upside down. He can’t stop thinking about her, like a Christmas gift wrapped in glitter and bows that he just has to ...

Christmas in Colorado was a time for hotwives and Cassidy Hewitt was excited for her first time. Cass heard the whispers when she entered the room, a dimly lit bar filled with holiday cheer in her tiny hometown of Ledge Hill, Colorado. She was home for the holidays and out on the town, an impromptu class reunion with people she hadn’t seen in fifteen years. She’d been terrible about returning texts and keeping up with social media, and she hoped that would work to her advantage tonight. If nobody knew her, no one would have any idea what she was up to. Joe couldn’t look away and ...

This audiobook makes a wonderful kids stocking stuffer or holiday gift for kids - boys or girls! Christmas is almost here and the excitement is all around! The twinkling Christmas lights and the aroma of freshly baked cookies fills the air. You and your child will enjoy these special Christmas stories and funny jokes for kids. Perfect for listening aloud with friends and family during the holiday season.

At the North Pole, it is the duty of every elf between the ages of 18 and 22 to serve Santa. After that, we graduate and go on to make our own lives. The name's Twinkle Tipsy Toes, and I'm a 21-year-old elf. With only one two years left at the workshop, I plan to make this my year. On December 24th I will be the one taken on Santa's sleigh as his number one. It’s what I’ve dreamed of for years, even before starting at Santa’s workshop. It's what we all dream of. To be the one noticed. To be the one chosen. We elves compete for the opportunity to accompany Santa on his route, and maybe...