Funny Christmas

A cop, a pig, & a potty mouthed parrot walk into a bar. A Santa Claus thief, two special friends, pirates on the high seas, treasure hunts, lost dogs, an unruly pot-bellied pig, and a Jersey cow in the wrong place at the wrong time, spell trouble for Seal Island residents this Christmas. It is up to Gertrude, a pot-bellied pig, and her cohort, Peaches, a Jersey cow, to help save Christmas from a Grinch-like Santa Claus thief who decides that Seal Island is the perfect place for his base of operations while Betty & Reggie are out of commission having been kidnapped by smugglers on the high ...

Krampus is on the move. Santa needs backup. And Hel’s gates are waiting. Children are vanishing, snatched from their beds by Krampus, the monstrous spirit of Yuletide punishment. But this time, the stakes are bigger than just holiday mischief—Krampus is enacting a sinister plan, and if Ironspell and Vetr don’t stop him, Christmas might never be the same. When Santa himself makes an unscheduled stop to ask for their help, Ironspell and his Jotun partner must journey into Hel, navigating the underworld’s treacherous paths to gain entrance to Krampus’ stronghold. But nothing in Hel ...

The Avery Diary: CHRISTMAS CHAOS BEGINS! A Hilarious Book for Kids 9-12! Christmas was supposed to be peaceful, but no one told my family that. Between glitter snow, Carl’s ninja elf costume, and a burnt turkey that could’ve been used as a doorstop, I’m just trying to survive. The Christmas musical? A total mess. The snowball fight? Complete chaos. And let’s not even talk about the marshmallow-covered tree. But somehow, even with all the craziness, my family made it fun. Maybe next year will be easier... but with a surprise trip to Hawaii on the way, I have a feeling the madness is ...

Christmas stories Stories Collection ******************* Young and beginner reader’s kids would get the most enjoyment from the tree titles for Christmas we selected In We hope you enjoy reading them to your kids, grandchildren. SEA OF LOVE <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 * <3 Just off by the sea in a small shabby shack, Lived Sarah’s whole family, a big crowded pack, Two parents, three brothers, and three sisters, too; With less room inside as all the kids grew. OH DEAR SAID THE DEER ************************************* "Oh dear," said the deer, "I'm so cold, what a plight! I've searched for a...

The Riptide is professional baseball’s newest team. It’s also the worst. The players are washed up, lazy, and should have retired a long time ago. Tommy is the team’s biggest fan. He goes to every home game, watches the away games on TV, and even blogs about the Riptide. He knows everything there is know about baseball but is the worst player in his local Little League. So how did he end up on baseball’s biggest stage? Will Panzell is the owner of the team. He’s also completely nuts. He lies, cheats, and schemes to sell tickets to Riptide games. His latest stunt is so bananas it ...

MY SPECIAL STAR Read it FREE as part of your Kindle Unlimited membership I couldn't sleep that night; I was wide awake, I heard a loud noise and I started to shake. Then I went out to the yard to look around, A very bright light was shining on the ground.

Having gotten home from college a complete failure, I was looking forward to a Christmas tradition that my grandmother had started decades ago. Just to be told that her famous desert would not be making it to the table this year, all because of a wine shortage. I singlehandedly took it upon myself to get the wine that was needed, quickly finding out that I may have gotten in over my head. Discovering myself along the way, I'll always remember the Christmas that changed my life.

Sometimes the future needs a little help from the past... They fell in love at Christmas. Time to take the next step. Eliza Jones and Tom Piper are destined to be together. Last year, thanks to fate, a snowed in train, and a little Christmas magic, they fell in love. A year has passed, long enough for their love and their careers to grow. Unfortunately, Pine Ridge is still no closer to LA than it was last year. Tom's tree farm in Pine Ridge isn't portable. Not to mention, he's getting used to being mayor, and has the opportunity to make lasting positive changes for Pine Ridge. Likewise, ...

***Christmas in July Bonus Edition! *** Bonus Scene & Bonus Summer Recipe!! An Aussie ex, a hairless cat, and a live TV audition. What could go wrong? One audition stands between me and my dream job with Channel Foodie. An audition that must go off without a hitch. Also up for the job is my work nemesis Patty. One will claim victory; the other will wallow in woe, and trust me—I’ve wallowed in enough woe since my breakup with Aussie chef Jude Sting. Patty’s corporate daddy gives her an edge, but my superior experience should score me the win. So long as I don’t panic under pressure. ...

What happens when kids on the Naughty List grow up to be really bad? Santa has a list of those, too. And you really, really don’t want to be on that list. Nope, not at all... Gangster Earl Winks is about to pay for his crimes. And will soon discover the Big Guy doesn’t mess around... Click BUY NOW or READ FOR FREE!

At the North Pole, it is the duty of every elf between the ages of 18 and 22 to serve Santa. After that, we graduate and go on to make our own lives. The name's Twinkle Tipsy Toes, and I'm a 21-year-old elf. With only one two years left at the workshop, I plan to make this my year. On December 24th I will be the one taken on Santa's sleigh as his number one. It’s what I’ve dreamed of for years, even before starting at Santa’s workshop. It's what we all dream of. To be the one noticed. To be the one chosen. We elves compete for the opportunity to accompany Santa on his route, and maybe...

Demi Holly is home for Christmas. . . reluctantly Drama teacher Demi's dreams of being waited on all Christmas by her mum and dad are becoming less likely by the second. Thrust into helping with the annual yarn bombing event, in memory of her late aunt, she’s torn between family obligations, sister rivalry and more importantly sexting her gorgeous boss in Edinburgh. But she won’t be a martyr. Entangled in a whirlwind of unexpected events, Demi finds herself playing a game of truths, rescuing a man from the top of a hill and dressing up as an elf – more than once. Full of twists, ...

Kristmas in Kristin- Kristin was seeing stars, the Christmas lights around them blurring in her vision until she had to slam her eyes shut. She was going over the edge any second and she wanted it exactly like she’d always envisioned. Pulling him to her with her thighs, she wrapped her legs around his neck, putting pressure on him until his poor ears were suctioned to her skin. Joey had never felt something so good in his life but he didn’t dare say it. Then she would know, know he was a virgin. She cried out when she fell apart, needing Joey’s arm around her back to keep her from ...

Christmas in a mountain town teaches more than one resident what it truly means to forgive. Struggling to take care of his deaf son in a town with no resources, Ethan Knight’s at the end of his rope. When his son is kicked out of preschool, he feels he’s out of options and prays for a miracle. A newcomer to Snow Globe, Montana may be his answer to prayer. London Meriwether leaves her home after the passing of her grandmother, the woman who raised her. She falls in love with Snow Globe, Montana. The small town seems close to perfect. When she meets Ethan Knight, she discovers a way to ...

¡Si tan solo no estuviera tan solo! Leer este título de forma gratuita con tu suscripción ilimitado Kindle. Más allá de las más altas montañas, en bosques muy lejanos, Hay un paraíso sin tigres donde viven solo animales sanos. Se esconden de los salvajes depredadores y viven tranquilamente, Comiendo muchos vegetales y frutas, todo muy felizmente.

When Bridie is snowed in over Christmas at Midwinter Hall, the season of goodwill hasn't got a chance as her gorgeous boss hates Christmas. Can Bridie perform her own Christmas miracle and persuade Ned to unite with the staff and the problem neighbour, to celebrate their Yuletide festivities together? After meeting a strange, otherworldly girl in the Midwinter woods at the solstice, will Bridie's own prejudices undergo a change and make her believe in the supernatural at last? Will the Midwinter Spirit affect them all? Join the residents of Midwinter Hall, including two dogs, a horse, two ...

Wright is a self-proclaimed word nerd, English language enthusiast, and expert in navigating the absurdities of the world’s quirkiest language. With years of experience untangling grammar inconsistencies and deciphering bizarre spelling rules, Wright explores why "colonel" sounds nothing like it’s spelled, how "read" can mean two different things, and why "i before e except after c" is a complete myth. This book is perfect for lovers of language humor, grammar geeks, and anyone who’s ever questioned why "queue" needs four extra letters—or why "ghoti" can theoretically spell "fish." ...

Four years have passed. Four long years since Ava and Leo have been in the same room, since he drove away with her heart in his hands and never looked back. Ava wouldn’t know how to begin to make up for all the time she’s lost with her best friend, who also happens to be the man of her dreams. Leo’s life has only grown better. Reciprocity is living the good life; a song on a hit movie soundtrack, loads of girls at every stop, getting ready to co-headline their first major tour. He doesn’t let himself think about the past and the girl he let slip away all those years ago. Ava knows ...

Becca and Slade never stood a chance back in high school. She was a nerd, blending in with the geeks in the back of auditorium as Slade's band performed for Senior Night. A chance encounter set them on a path to be more than acquaintances who had a couple classes together, but it imploded as quickly as it started. Slade's back in town for the holidays, reluctantly, his brother and their band, Reciprocity, performing at the local Winter Festival with their old drummer. He never wanted to go to that tree farm with his dad, he sure as hell didn't want to meet eyes with the girl who tore his ...

Amaryllis is used to the unwanted attention but no one but her fiancé has ever come to her rescue, never made her feel as positively high as Gage Owens's attention does. He doesn't know how to control himself around her. All he wants to do is make Amy feel an ounce of the pleasure that she makes him feel when she looks at him like he's the savior of her universe. But that's not all she wants him to be and they both know it, even on the public beach in front of his Mexico home. Even though Cayden is willing to share her, Gage knows that letting her go when the sun comes up is not going to ...