Funny Christmas

If you've ever worked in customer service (or any job, really), you know that everyone else—the customer, the boss, the company—is always right, and never the employee. Well, lucky for you, the "Angry Retail Guy" is more furious—and funnier—than ever in this hilariously unhinged guide to all the things we wish we could say out loud at work . . . without getting fired. In The Customer Is Always Wrong, you'll laugh (and maybe cry) at this rant-filled, illustrated attack on all the frustrating things that suck about work.

Teaching Kids the Importance of Sleep * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * At night when most kids were dozing so deep, Michael could never quite manage to sleep. His mother would read him one book, or two, His father would sing ‘till his face turned blue, All-day Michael ran and played and kicked ball, But then he’d just shrug: “I’m not tired at all.” Real-life issue/Imaginary Tale - Great Lesson! I learned about this cute little rhyming book on FB, and I decided to download it using the kindle app on my phone, and I'm glad that I did. What a fun book to cozy up with a child for a ...

Mrs. Sookie Poole of Point Clear, Alabama, has just married off the last of her daughters and is looking forward to relaxing and perhaps traveling with her husband, Earle. The only thing left to contend with is her mother, the formidable Lenore Simmons Krackenberry. Lenore may be a lot of fun for other people, but is, for the most part, an overbearing presence for her daughter. Then one day, quite by accident, Sookie discovers a secret about her mother's past that knocks her for a loop and suddenly calls into question everything she ever thought she knew about herself, her family, and her future.

Escape the horrors of the festive season with this collection of zany and horrific tales. Thrill to the cries of bad children facing Krampus. Laugh along with Dr. Giggles holiday entertainer and quail before Frosty the incensed snowman. All with a healthy dose of idol worship, humour and irreverence… get this Christmas Cult Classic now!

A single dad, a model, and a comedian walk into a bar.... They’re all Owen Brodie. It’s only funny if you aren’t the hilarious struggling comedian who has been hired to be his son’s nanny for the stand-up tour.

Survive Christmas woe with a Yuletide tsunami of shockingly humourous tales from depraved escapees Toby Bennett and Benjamin Knox - four fresh stories and a Christmas poem all wrapped up with a blood-soaked bow.

Enjoy another slay-ride with this collection of Christmas horror stories. Creepy Christmas is the second volume in the series of holiday related terror penned by author Toby Bennett. A man who looked down the winding years of his tedious life and realized that he was more appalled by cheap cards and plastic trees than anything that might issue from the stygian depths of Dante’s pit. Join him this year for an alien invasion, an encounter with a yuletide psychopath and a traditional Wight Christmas. Not to mention the Boxing Day bonus. Four stories, a few laughs and one or two scares to ...

After being together for 10 years, Sylvie and Dan have all the trimmings of a happy life and marriage; they have a comfortable home, fulfilling jobs, and beautiful twin girls and communicate so seamlessly, they finish each other's sentences. However, a trip to the doctor projects they will live another 68 years together, and panic sets in. They never expected "until death do us part" to mean seven decades. In the name of marriage survival, they quickly concoct a plan to keep their relationship fresh and exciting.

Teach your child patience !!! "You forgot the mail?!?!" The king yelled at the snail. But the snail stayed as calm as could be. He was not afraid of the king, you see. He knew where the gift was; he knew what to do. The monsters learned that patience pays off too. We are all familiar with the phenomenon of children wanting everything "here and now". This story describes just such a situation. I hope you and your children will enjoy it and learn from it. The forest monsters woke up & there was a sign on the tree. They had been invited to the Monster King’s birthday party. Everyone would ...

Is it possible to fall in love in one evening with a complete stranger? Ian Parker is about to find out. Ian is the proprietor of a successful local coffee house, in a suburb of Detroit. He wasn't expecting to fall head over heels in love with the beautiful, petite blonde that graced his presence, the weekend before Christmas, but he did. And how! When Nixie Davenport drove up to The Coffee Cabin on a Friday night, in a stolen car, she had no idea what kind of evening she was in for. The Coffee Cabin picks up where Alley Girl left off, only now Dalen Reese is part owner of The Coffee Cabin,...

When Lisa Marsh reluctantly agrees to serve Thanksgiving dinner at the local community center, she’s not prepared for the chaos that ensues. Between the lively teenagers, fiercely independent veterans, eccentric seniors, and one particularly gruff homeless man named Pete, the evening spirals into a disaster. But when her best friend dares her to do more, Lisa accepts the challenge: she’s going to help Pete turn his life around—whether he likes it or not. Her plan? Simple: clean him up (starting with a shave), find him a job, and make him respectable. Pete, however, has no interest in ...

Tara Gallagher is knackered. She used to dream of being Beyoncé but suddenly she’s 36—with three kids, a loving husband, a very boring job—and instead of headlining Coachella, she’s in her pyjamas on a Friday night, watching cheesy TV. It’s time for a mommy makeover. She’s going to show her teenage daughter she’s still cool. She’s going to show her husband she’s still an absolute ride. She’s going to show her colleagues she’s still a Boss Bish.

I'm Kat Smith, former Secret Service, current postmaster, and awkward private eye in Ohia, Maui. I'm currently searching for a valuable, historical Hawaiian Christmas ornament gone missing, and I’m the six-foot-something center of controversy as our cozy small-town island mystery swirls with gossip, accusations, old feuds, and new friendships. I have my hot pilot boyfriend Mr. K, the Red Hat Society, and my beloved one-eared cat Tiki on the case—but I’m going to need all the help I can get to find the Queen's Ornament, or the fundraiser organized by my very own Aunt Fae will be a bust...

"Mistletoe Detour," the latest entry in the Scottish Billionaire series by M. S. Parker, sends readers off on a hilarious, heartwarming holiday road trip. Blaze Gracen, a renowned Johns Hopkins professor, gears up for a festive family shindig in sunny San Ramon. However, Mother Nature has other ideas, and a surprise winter storm leaves his flight stranded in not-so-tropical Chicago. Enter Trisha Easton, a quick-witted New Yorker with a suitcase full of sass and a knack for turning lemons into spiked lemonade. Also stranded in Chicago, she opts for a daring, map-defying drive across the ...

It's a surprise Christmas wedding! Christmastime is here and due largely to the remarkable efforts of Sondra and Simon, the harrowing threat of the last few months is over. What better way to celebrate than with a lavish wedding? But Sondra insists she wants a courthouse ceremony. Simon isn’t convinced and is determined to make it an extraordinary celebration for the love of his life. Join the O’Brians as they transform the drab wedding into an enchanting winter wonderland, complete with twinkling lights, a Bitsy ring-bearer, and holiday cheer. Don’t forget the champagne and sprinkles...

For fans of the feel-good romantic stories found on the Hallmark Channel...read and enjoy the first three books in the best-selling Sugarplum Falls Romance series. Smart and sweet heroines, sexy and strong heroes. Get all the inspirational romance you're craving in the perfect snowy, holiday setting, Sugarplum Falls now. Christmas at Holly Berry Cottage: Math-whiz Chelsea has always had a thing for Wyatt, but he’s been declared off-limits by her overprotective brother. This year, however, brother is out of town, and Wyatt is showing some clear interest. When Chelsea needs a date to her ...

As Izzie Firecracker dreams of Christmas in skimpy bikinis, her new husband changes the plan. The family business, a castle hotel on the Isle of Scree, is short of funds and can't refuse a wealthy American family who wants the 'Full Scottish Castle Experience' – complete with a resident ghost. But there is no ghost. Or is there? And no guest has murder in mind. Or do they? What Izzie presumed would be a quiet Christmas is anything but, and she's soon in a race against time to save the hotel, a guest's life - and a marriage! The Christmas Castle Ghost is the fourth and final book in the ...

An evil business man, Mossman Bossman, has sacked all his staff four days before Christmas, and replaced them with robots. Furthermore, he has developed a machine to make all Christmas dinners tasteless. Only one man can stop him, Joe Drimmer. Can Joe elicit help from Santa Claus to prevent Bossman execute his evil plans?

Nothing breaks the ice like a frozen wife and whiskey. In the murderously hot kingdom of Lithowania—an island so deliberately missing from maps that explorers go to "great pains" to exclude it—Captain Slavic Kristofferson arrives with the ultimate diplomatic strategy: a massive ice sculpture of his wife's face. Where previous negotiators earned only spears in their hulls, Kristofferson's whiskey-on-ice and innovative snow machine soon have the natives building temples to frozen Hilda. After all, when you've spent your entire existence melting, the sudden discovery of "cold" becomes ...

It’s Christmas Eve in New Chapel, Indiana. But this night will be anything but silent in a brand new Flower Shop Mystery Novella from New York Times bestselling author of Moss Hysteria and Yews With Caution. After being hired to deliver poinsettias to Churchill’s department store in downtown New Chapel, feisty flower shop owner Abby Knight finds herself mixed up in the disappearance of everyone’s favorite Santa Claus, Mr. Churchill himself. Promising Churchill’s daughter that the legendary Christmas Eve celebration will not go on without her father, Abby must recruit her whole staff...